Chapter 5

Jade

Wolves in Chaos are like she-wolves in heat: wild, feral, and ready to mate.

Clusters of my unmated packmates ran through the forest like rugged swines, growls rumbling from their bellies, canines extended far past their snouts, and claws kicking up dirt behind them in a chaotic haze.

I stood in Jain’s living room and snarled. Red moonlight flooded in through her small cabin windows, illuminating the room with a sanguine color that reminded me of the blood from Jack Robert’s head. I still held his canine in my hand, not wanting to put it down with the others just yet. It was the only thing seeming to tether me to the spot.

Because… my body urged me to shift, to run, to find my mate.

And I didn’t want that life. Mates didn’t mean anything.

The massive full moon glimmered above, calling out to me to let go of all the anger and all the hatred that had built up inside me the past nine years. If Mom were here, she would’ve told me that it was the Moon Goddess telling me to find my fated mate, the man who I was destined to love for eternity. But that was all religious bullshit.

Dense fog gathered on the base of the forest floor, my nails lengthening into claws. Something inside of me wanted out, yet I couldn’t give in. I would endure this pain all week if I had to. No way would I run out into Chaos Valley searching for my mate.

“You shouldn’t hold back,” Jain said, holding two beers in her hand.

Yes, beers.

I arched a brow at the cans and smiled. “Since when do you drink?”

She gave a hoarse laugh, nodded to our two wooden rocking chairs on the porch, and walked through the front door. While I didn’t want to follow after her, I walked behind her and took a seat out on the porch, hundreds of scents drifting through my nose.

Yips of happiness filled the forest, along with the occasional growls, the sounds making my bones ache with more pain than I had ever felt. My breath caught in my throat, my heart pounding against my ribcage. This would be harder than I imagined.

“So,” I said, hoping to ease the pain. “The beers?”

“My mate and I used to celebrate the start of the Chaos with them every year.” She handed me one and clunked her can against mine, then took a big gulp. “I know you probably think I’m an old senile woman, but I used to be cool. At least, that’s what Gerold used to tell me.”

After taking a sip, I suppressed the urge to gag. “How old is this?”

Jain laughed. “Oh, dear, I don’t like them much either. Gerold loved them. I have one the start of every Chaos to remember the day I found him out in the wild. He hunted me like I was some prey to him, but Goddess, I loved it.” Staring out into the forest with glossy eyes, she let out a long sigh, and smiled. “I miss him so much.”

My chest tightened. “You really loved him?”

With trembling hands, she lifted the can to her lips. “More than anything.”

I stared out into the forest again, letting the yips make me hurt. That kind of love would never happen to me, ever. It wasn’t like the olden days. Mating didn’t mean much to anyone anymore. I tightened my fist until the can dented and the beer sloshed all over me. It was just a symbol that Dad fucking destroyed for me.

Jain set her can on the ground and leaned closer to me, placing her wrinkled hand on my wrist. “I know you don’t believe in mates, but they’re real. Don’t let your father ruin them for you. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy, Jade. Let your wolf out tonight, and don’t hold back.” She let out a laugh. “It’s not like you’ll be able to anyway. The Chaos is stronger than even you.”

I pressed my lips together and glared at the grotesque trees in the fog.

She tapped me on the knee and stood. “You’ll be mated with a nice man, I can feel it.”

Once she retreated back into the house, I stayed outside. I shouldn’t have stayed. I should’ve gone back inside with her, crawled under my blankets, and refused to leave the house at all for the next week that the Chaos resided over the valley.

And when I was about to do just that, I caught the scent of butterscotch, Mom’s favorite candy when I was growing up. It was a scent that would’ve repulsed me any other day because every time I thought of Mom, I saw her hanging from a rope all those years ago. But today, it was different. Today, it brought back memories I wanted to keep remembering.

So I followed it.

Into the fog, around the malformed trees, through the red moonlight, I walked in the Chaos in amazement. I tried desperately to stay on any path I knew, knowing I’d get lost in this fog and with all these deranged wolves frantically searching for their mates. But the butterscotch scent led me away from the path and through the territory that I had only been through a couple times with Vex and his crew.

Before me, two people ran toward each other in glee. I hid behind a tree, placed my hands on the wet moss, and watched them embrace for the first time; their arms immediately wrapping around the other as if they had known each other for years, their nose buried in each other’s neck, the sweet little possessive mumbles of mine drifting through the forest.

This was exactly how Mom described it during her bedtime stories.

It looked magical. Annoyingly fucking magical.

Maybe Mom would’ve found a second-chance mate if she hadn’t killed herself. I shook my head. There was no possibility of that now, she had been gone for nine fucking years, had decided her life was more important than bringing up a lonely child.

The newly found mates kissed each other for the first time, hands all over the other’s body. I dug my claws into the tree and felt the bark crumble underneath my fingers, heart pounding.

“I don’t want a mate,” I whispered to myself.

Mates didn’t mean anything. Mates cheated. Mates might have been in love during the Chaos, but love fucking faded. I had seen it with Dad, with Alpha Maddox’s mate. I would never allow that to happen to me.

I twisted Jack Robert’s canine between my fingers and continued. The further I traveled into the woods and away from my pack’s territory, the more my body wanted to shift and the less yipping of happiness I heard. Instead, around these parts, ruthless, savage growls rumbled through the fog.

The butterscotch scent disappeared, a sorrowful feeling washing over me. I lifted my nose to the full sanguine moon and sniffed, desperate to find it again. And while I couldn’t pick it up, I smelled…

Vex.

My eyes widened slightly as I quickly ducked behind a tree and secretly looked at him across the forest, dark hair a wild mess, canines dripping with blood, and eyes searching for his prey. Stomach tightening, I gnawed on my cheek. What was he doing this far away from his home? Looking for me? He was damn adamant about me staying with him earlier.

And, if I knew one thing about mates, it was that I didn’t want Vex to be mine.

So, I hurried in the opposite direction, hoping my scent would be lost in the madness. Something inside me recognized that look in his eyes, that want and need. If he saw me, he wouldn’t think twice about marking me, claiming me, taking me as his. He’d do it without hesitation. He’d been single for far too long.

Through the fog, I spotted a couple men from the Silver Vipers who originated just outside of Chaos Valley. I stopped in my tracks, my throat closing up at the sight of their tribal face tattoos, and tightened my fist around the rogue’s tooth. Before they could see me, I pressed my back against a tree and sucked in a sharp breath. What the hell were they doing in the Valley?

Vex didn’t even fuck with the Vipers. They were that kind of wild.

“Take the women. Set the land ablaze. Tonight is ours, boys,” one growled behind me.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried to come up with a plan to get back home, but I didn’t even know where I was. Sure, I had been in these woods countless times, but with every wolf gone mad and this dense fog and red moonlight and the nagging ache to shift and let myself lose control, it was hard to think straight. I should’ve just stayed at fucking home tonight.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are, Jade.” Vex’s voice boomed through the forest, catching the Viper’s attention. My eyes shot open, and I slid down to the ground. Vex seemed to move even closer, his scent overwhelming me. “I can smell you.”

I pressed my lips together, Jack Roger’s sharp canine piercing the center of my palm. Best case scenario for me would be if one of these Silver Vipers killed Vex and the other rogues that I worked with. That way I’d get more of a cut for the jobs I did, because all Roger and Harold did was fuck off.

Worst case scenario, the Silver Vipers found me first.

One moment, the Vipers were terrifyingly silent; the next, a wall of snarls roared from behind me. Men shifted into wolves, sprinting toward Vex’s voice. Wolves looking for mates became vile and vicious monsters, biting and snapping at each other’s necks.

A woman screamed from my left, a Viper dragging her frail and naked body by the hair. I closed my eyes again, shook my head from side to side, inhaled heavy smoke, desperate to figure out a way back home, to get there in one piece, to live through the night. The Chaos hadn’t come for so long, wolves were too hyped up on adrenaline.

The forest became unbearably hot, fog mixing with smoke and blazing orange flames. My arms, legs, and body needed to shift. I needed to run. To find peace. To find him. Mate. I needed my mate. I wanted my—

No. No. No. No. No.

Shaking my head to rid myself of the thought, I opened my eyes. A Viper stood inches from me, in wolf form, canines dripping in blood and black eyes focused on my body. I screamed, but the sound was drowned out by the roar of wolves.

Before I could shift, the wolf lunged at me and knocked me onto my back. With his mouth latched into my shin, I scrambled back on my hands and heels, then smashed my foot into his snout. Almost as quickly as I pushed him away, he came back, twice as hard, ripping some flesh out of my calf and dropping it to the ground.

Another Viper approached me from the right. Three warrior wolves from my pack ran by me toward a Viper, and I screamed out for them. No, I wasn’t helpless but I couldn’t defeat a single Viper alone. Vex, his crew, and I had tried it before, and we failed. More than once.

“Help!” I shouted. “Please!”

Saif, our beta, glanced over at me, then a woman—not even from our pack—yelled for him.

And he left me.

He fucking left me to die.

I was an outcast to him, to all of them, and I always would be.

Alpha Maddox had made sure of it.

But I wasn’t going out without a fight. I grasped Jack Robert’s canine in one hand and hurled it into the Viper’s neck along with my claws, slashing his throat. It still wasn’t enough. He advanced further onto me, his paws on either side of my head, his tongue all over my neck, his hot breath on my face, and all his blood pouring out onto me.

I kicked. I punched. I clawed.

Nothing.

The scent of butterscotch drifted through my nostrils again. Adrenaline rushed through my body. I twisted my head from side to side, desperate to see who the sweet smell belonged to before this Viper killed me here. In the very last moment of my life, I suddenly wanted to know who my mate was.

Warmth erupted through my chest as I continued to fight off the beast, the smell becoming overwhelming. Everything about it called me to my mate. I wanted him to hold me, to tell me that things were going to be okay, to be the first person to ever love me.

Because nobody ever had.

And if this monster killed me, nobody ever would.

A growl ripped through the forest, and I nearly stopped moving for a moment. It sounded so… so… delightful in my ears.

After pushing the Viper away one last time, I turned my head just enough to see the one man who I hated the most, standing a few feet away from me. The red moonlight glimmered against his bare body, the fog hugging his body, and those eyes… those fucking eyes of destruction.

Alpha Maddox.

My mate.

Even though I hated him, I couldn’t stop myself from crying out for him to help me. But he didn’t come, he just stood there staring at me as the wolf inched closer and closer to my neck, canines grazing against my soft spot.

Out of all the damn people I could’ve been mated with, I never wanted it to be Maddox. And this… this proved why. He didn’t care about anyone anymore, especially not a woman like me.

I took back what I said before.

My worst fear wasn’t dying. My worst fear was being mated to Alpha Maddox.