ADB prologue scene 13
Feb 23, 2024
Eldritch Troubadour
Top comment
Now that I finished the Prologue, here's my honest subjective opinion.
The premisse is cool and can lead to some great storytelling. However, such sensitive subjects require subtlety and nuance. Which I'm sorry to say you did not employ.
Everything felt very blunt and overindulgent. The way every character speaks feels unnatural, like they are reading from a script There's also a lot of telling with little to no showing.
I understand the meaning of all that happened, but in my eyes you couldn't do the themes justice. Look on ways you can show things without needing the characters saying it straight away and let the art carry most of the burden of telling the story. Comics are a visual medium, so you should lean into their strengths, or you end up making a novel in comic format.
Anyway, hope this doesn't discourage you too much and that you keep improving.
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