I understand where they’re coming from; I do. Tamara’s parents had both given their lives fighting the toxic jungles around the world. Her father had gone straight to the root of the problem. Literally. The man dug up whole plants and examined every microscopic area of every plant. He died when a spore made its way past the filter of his mask. Yeah, that’s how dangerous those fucking spores were.

Tamara’s mom was an engineer. She traveled the Globe with an organization by the name of Mend. The most I knew about them was that they were attempting underwater civilizations, giving us a place to relocate when the surface turned into anything but livable. She died not long after her husband. Plane crash on her way to another project.

“I can’t feel like what they did was for nothing,” she finishes, her eyes glossy.

“And I can’t let her go there on her own. She’s the love of my life,” Blake adds, hugging her close.

I’m holding my face in my hands. To them, I’m probably staring into space. Not that it matters. They already know their news is shocking. I’m grateful for the following silence, turning every word over in my head. Between each line, every moment of quiet, they come to argue with the decision my friends have made. And it hits way too hard.

I stand to my feet and start pacing. It’s the only way to keep my tears at bay. I’m not a crier, and I’m not changing that. Instead, rage pulses in my temple, and terror chills me to the bone. The sky seems to be falling, and I’m but an ant waiting to be crushed. Again. And again, and again, and again until not even the memory of who I once was remains.

“Kil? Please, talk to us,” Blake pleads.

I stop my pacing to look at them. Swallowing hard, I look them each in the eye through wavering lenses. “So, I get to lose two more?”

They look away. Both of them know what I’m talking about, yet neither offer words of comfort or optimism. They don’t have any proof that they’ll be okay down there. Nothing to tell me that I won’t get a call informing me that one or both of them fell to the stupid jungle.

“Sorry,” I apologize, grabbing my jacket and keys, “I gotta get out of here.”

I don’t wait for a reply though I hear Blake’s muffled voice calling for me after shutting the door. By the time I’m in my vehicle, he’s walking down the length of the porch. When I turn the key, my Subaru turns over immediately. I take that as a sign and drive off, right as Blake reaches where I’d been parked, waving his hands and shouting after me.

As I speed down the dirt road, loud metal wails within the confines of the car. I might go deaf, but right now I need to not think. I need to not have memories assaulting me, whispering every fear I have and applying it to the couple I just left at my house.

My eyes shift to the clock on my dash. It’s barely five o’clock. Oh well.

The city flies by as I make my way to its center. As the downtown area, a lot of the buildings are old and crumbling. There was once a plan to tear it all down and remodel it but that was before the world was facing down a crisis. It’s fine, though. The decrepit state of this area makes it a less than popular spot and large crowds of people are nearly nonexistent.

Parking garages are my worst nightmare. I hate that I have to pay because there isn’t anywhere in front, on the side, or in the back of the building. I hate the smell of old booze and piss from people living under the harsh florescent lights. I hate the loud echo of my shoes scuffing the concrete ground in the empty space around me. Luckily, it’s early on a Wednesday so the usual crowd hasn’t shown up yet meaning I’m able to pull into one of the closer spots.

Locking my car, I grab my black leather jacket and jog towards the seemingly small club. It’s called Double Decker. For regulars—like me—the name had two meanings that we knew of. The first was a secret basement level that reached farther than the one facing the street. According to the owners, it used to be separated into three sections, one for each of the three businesses in the complex. But, the other two couldn’t keep up with the maintenance.

That’s when the Decker brothers offered to buy the basement out. It took a lot of money considering the complexity of the work that was needed, but, in the end, it made for a spacious dance floor and two bars on either side.

Obviously, the second was the fact that the club was run by twin brothers, Shawn and Cecil Decker.

“Killian!” Cecil called as soon as I made my way down the staircase. “Bryson said you were here. It’s been a while.”

I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, that it has.” I make my way to the counter where Cecil is drying glasses and setting them out for tonight’s shift. As I take a seat in one of the cushioned bar stools, Cecil’s brown eyes become laden with worry. He always was the sharper of the two.

“You aren’t usually this quiet,” he says, his lips turning downward ever-so-slightly. “Wanna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Blake’s going to the equator.”

Cecil’s face falls to horror. “What? Why?”

I try not to get angry. To keep my inner demons from clawing their way out and leaving nothing more than a mutilated carcass in their wake. “I don’t know. Something about honoring Tamara’s parents,” I reply, shaking my head and running a shaky hand through my hair. “I mean, I get it. Sort of. But, it’s like, I don’t feel like my mother would want me following in her footsteps just to die like she did. I’ve never felt like going there would solve anything, you know?”

When I look up, Cecil’s thick brows are pinched. “I think that it’s all about perspective,” he says. “That some people want their parents to be proud of them for taking a step towards humanity’s survival. Other’s don’t want the life their parents gave to be wasted.”

He pauses, grabbing a beer from under the counter and removing the lid. As soon as it’s in my hand and I’ve taken a swig, he continues, “Your mama did what was best for you. She wanted you to have the best life she could provide and I think….with the contingencies she had in place, I don’t think she wanted you to follow her there.

“But Tamara’s different. She likely feels that leaving their work undone was a waste of their lives. She wants to pick up where they left off, make something of the progress they’d made. And, obviously, Blake would want to go with her. I’ve seen the way he looks at her, too, you know.”

“I know, I know. I get it, I really do, but I’ve already….” My eyes are watering. I down the rest of the beer in one go.

Cecil replaces my empty beer bottle with a shot glass, filling it to the rim with tequila. I look at it hesitantly. Tequila has a bad habit of fucking me up. And not in the good way, either.

“Just shoot it, Kil. It’s only one,” Cecil says gently.

I don’t ask for more persuasion. I down that, too. It burns its way down my throat and a part of me dies with how I’m immediately ready for another despite my earlier hesitation. I want to get wasted. I want the world to fall away and leave me in my suffocating darkness to suffer alone and without hindrance or false words of hope.

“Now that you’ve got the hard stuff workin’, do you want the usual?” Cecil asks with a kind smile that shows his white teeth. It’s a nice contrast to his darker skin. Too bad he’s taken.

I nod and fidget with my thumb until he returns with an amaretto sour. A weaker drink for sure, but it’s my go-to. Especially when my thoughts stray to my mother and the lemonade she made when I was a kid. The fresh lemon juice she used to make the first one I’d ever had when I was fifteen….

It seems as though Cecil is about to start up another conversation when boisterous laughter comes from the stairs. One of them I immediately peg as Cecil’s brother, Shawn.

Sure enough, when the two step on the landing and walk in, Shawn is already greeting me with a smile. The other one, I don’t recognize. And I would have if I’d seen him anywhere else.

The man has a faded cut, his silvery-blue hair feathering the right side of his face. It’s such an odd color that I’m caught staring as his cobalt blue eyes zero in on me. He smiles wide, his teeth a little crooked with canines that are uncomfortably long. I don’t believe in vampires, but if I did, I’d be running the fuck out of here.

Despite the eye contact, I don’t look away. I’m not really shy and I’ve got a winner’s complex that usually leads to the other looking away first. As Shawn leads him over to where I’m sitting, I notice tattoos lining each of his arms in scaled patterns. Considering I can see them above the collar of his sky-blue button down shirt, I’m assuming they weave themselves up his neck. Not gonna lie, I have a thing for tattoos and this man is fucking hot.

“Killian,” Shawn greets me with a smile. “How have you been? It’s been a while.”

I roll my eyes. “So I’ve heard,” I say, looking in Cecil’s direction. “And I’ve been….good enough, I guess.” I already told Cecil everything I was willing to talk about and I had no doubt that Shawn would hear about it later.

“Well, that’s good!” Shawn says with a chuckle. “At least, I hope it is,” he adds before gesturing for the newcomer to take a seat. “Ah, Killian, this is one of the new regulars. He wanted some time off to unwind and, now that you’re here, maybe show him a good time?”

I raise a brow and look back to the guy in front of me. He doesn’t seem nervous or shy. Instead, there’s an amused smirk playing at the corners of his lips. Of course I’m willing to give this gorgeous specimen a good time. But I gotta work that smugness out of him first.

“I don’t know, Shawn. I don’t even know the guy’s name.”

“Kaiser.”

My head whips around to look at the dude once more. I feel like he said it immediately after I finished speaking and it took me by surprise. Not to mention that voice. It’s deep and rich with a slight accent unlike anything I’ve ever heard before. I lick my lips. Yep, time to turn up the charm.

I run a hand slowly through my hair and chuckle. “Kaiser, huh….interesting name. Where are you from?”

“You’re already asking questions without introducing yourself, I see,” he says with a confident arched brow.

And, fuck…that accent. Couldn’t place it if I tried, but damn.

I make sure to give him the most dramatic eye roll he’s ever seen. “Apologies,” I reply, “it seems I was….distracted.”

I can hear Shawn chuckle on the other side of the dancefloor as he hooks up the speakers for the night. I shoot the man a dirty look, even if his back is turned to me.

“Killian,” I finally reply. “Killian Grey, to be specific. Did you want a middle name, too?”

Kaiser’s confident facade cracks as he laughs. “We got a smartass over here.”

“What can I make for you, Kaiser?” Cecil interrupts.

I feel a twitch in my hand. There’s a need to smack the man for shutting down the line that lingered on the tip of my tongue. I know he did it on purpose. Bastard.

“Just some water, please,” Kaiser replies.

I’m pretty sure that the three of us and the two girls that snuck in a few minutes ago are all staring at Kaiser like he killed a man.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” One too many waits. Damn it. “Lemme get this straight. You come to a club to unwind and have a good time and then order water?”

I expect the Decker brothers to say something, but they don’t. Instead, they seem as perplexed as I am.

“Listen, hydrating first helps with hangovers,” Kaiser defends himself, his smile growing infectious. “It’s the reason why you will get a hangover tomorrow and I’ll be perfectly fine.”

“I feel like that’s a lie,” I chuckle, draining the rest of my sour.

Music has started playing, the beat rippling through the basement level courtesy of the speakers Shawn had finished hooking up. Their DJ seemed to have arrived as I can clearly see her finishing her set up.

“Alright, Killian,” Shawn says, his eyes roaming to the door where other people are beginning to file in, “I leave Kaiser in your not-so-capable-but-it’s-all-we-have hands.”

“Excuse me, what!”

“Have a good evening!” Shawn waves as he heads upstairs.

I glare at the doorway he disappeared into. What does he mean I’m not capable? I’m totally capable of showing Kaiser a good time. Definitely helps that he’s gorgeous, but I digress.

“That’s my cue to get started. You want another one before it gets too packed?” Cecil asks.

I look down the bar at Jenny who’s just clocked in and over to the other bar where Jose and Qwen are setting up. “Nah, I’ll get something later. Might wanna set this guy up with something, though.” I throw a smug smirk in Kaiser’s direction.

He rolls those pretty blue eyes and asks for two shots of whiskey and an old-fashioned for later. Damn, this guy apparently likes whiskey. I’ve never really had a taste for it so all I can do is shake my head as I lead him to the dancefloor.