My alpha was happy and content with its chosen mate next to us. It was still thrilled after what we did. I wished I could feel the same things it felt, too.

But all I had was darkness in me. That weight of everything I’d done in my life. For some reason, Kieran wanted to keep me with him. To be his… To be his mate? His alpha? Why? I was everything he hated. Not just any terrorist, but a jomica.

“You’re just a busboy and cannon fodder…”

A busboy, huh…? I’d still done things for Jomica, a busboy or not. Things Kieran would never be able to accept. He really thought I was just a small nobody who could still be forgiven.

I was not. What I’d done… He would never look at me the same if he learned what I did for Jomica.

But none of it mattered. I was not his alpha. He was not my omega. It was just not going to… Whatever. My place wasn’t here with this omega. Not with this omega. Simple as that. I refused to acknowledge the things I felt, because what I felt or wanted didn’t matter.

Because I still had to leave. I knew that, and yet…

It was so hard to get up…

I focused on his skin under my fingers. His body was so warm, and smooth, and soft… But I could still feel his strength, his toned muscles underneath his softness. He was a really nice omega. And his nature… Fuck me, that fire in him…

He was going to be all right. He’d find the alpha he was looking for.

I took in his scent. I could almost tell what it was… It should’ve been clear to me already. The realization was closer than ever before, but I still couldn’t tell what it was that his scent reminded me of.

Before I could find the answer, I turned away from him.

It was time for me to go.

Getting out of that bed was worse than getting shot in the stomach, but I refused to acknowledge it. I made sure I didn’t wake him up when I stood and got dressed. I didn’t look at him. It was easier if I didn’t look at him.

But once I had my clothes on, and I faced the door… I had to stop. I wished… No. I couldn’t. I could lie to him. I could pretend none of what I’d done ever happened. But this weight on me would only grow worse. Staying wasn’t right.

Besides… He said two things last night that still echoed in my head.

“I won’t let you go get yourself killed for people who don’t give a shit about you.”

“Do something good with the life I saved.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words. There was a way to get rid of that heaviness inside me, and grant Kieran his wish. I could make sure that the life he saved was worth way more than the life before him. No matter how short it would be.

Kieran… I had to turn around to see him. He looked so peaceful… My need to return to him grew, but I stayed still, and for a long time, I stood there, watching him sleep. I forced myself to stay numb, to ignore everything, and just take in that moment. Because if life had turned out differently for me, this… this could be mine.

But I’d ruined my chances long before I’d met him.

My alpha watched me again in silence. It hated everything I was about to do. This omega belonged to it. It had already decided so. Its hate for me ran deeper than ever before because it was my fault it couldn’t have its mate.

And it knew it couldn’t have this mate. It knew this was the last time it would ever see its chosen omega. But it wasn’t stopping me. It knew we weren’t worthy because of me. It had no choice but to let its mate go. For that, it was never going to forgive me.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, turned around, and forced myself out the door to find my shoes.

My alpha had only one thing to say to me.

Die.

“Yes,” I breathed out.

But not for those who didn’t give a shit about me.

Once I had my shoes, I walked out the door without giving myself another chance to stop. Closing that door made me wish I was being shot in the guts three times instead. But I walked. The fresh air felt strange on my face after I’d spent so long in the dusty basement, but I saw no joy in it as I kept going. I could only focus on my footsteps that took me further away from… That omega.

It did not get any easier to walk away from him. I didn’t even watch where I was going. I just walked. I didn’t care if my wound was tearing up again. I didn’t care if it hurt. Fuck, I would’ve given a lot if the wound had killed me right then and there. But it was better now. It didn’t ache as much as I thought it would.

So… There was nothing stopping me.

But since walking all the way back home wasn’t really an option, I found myself in a dark parking lot with dark windows surrounding me. I carefully peered around when I approached the oldest car there was. The doors were locked, but an ancient model like this wasn’t in any way a challenge. I easily broke in by breaking the smallest window on the back. I kept my eyes open, but the closest building was probably far enough. I hoped no one heard me as I opened the door, then the driver’s door. I quickly sat in and started ripping panels to get to the wires. A minute later, I had the car running. Without wasting another second, I drove off from the parking lot.

And with a heavy heart, I headed home.

It was a long fucking hour. I fought myself, trying to keep my head empty. I used to be so good at that. Why was it so hard now? My alpha wasn’t making things any easier. It completely ignored me, but its hate was burning holes in my own soul.

“I’m sorry, all right?” I muttered, even though it couldn’t understand my words. “I’m sorry for everything.”

I guess I only had one wish left. I wished my alpha would forgive me before we’d die.

I stopped the car behind a crumbling apartment building with two floors and made sure no one could see it from the street. I got out and stopped to stare at the disgusting rat-hole I’d had to call my home for almost a year now. That basement I’d stayed at suddenly felt much more inviting than before… I pushed it out of my head and peered up at the windows. There were only six apartments in livable condition, and the lights were on only in one of them.

In ours.

There wasn’t really anything odd about it, even though it had to be around four in the morning. We didn’t really have a healthy lifestyle.

With a sigh, and the weight crushing my chest, I entered the building, avoiding the trash and dead rats on my way to the stairs. The railing had come off months ago, and the walls were lined with trash bags, leaving only a narrow pathway up, so I had to be careful not to fall. Once I got to the second floor, the worst possible smell hit me like a truck, and I tried not to breathe as I made my way to our front door. Someone or something must’ve died in one of the apartments…

I slammed my fist on our front door and kept banging on it. I didn’t hear any sounds coming from behind the door.

“Open the fucking door!” I said loudly.

I was getting pissed. I wasn’t sure why… Maybe because I was angry I had to return to this shitty life…

“Just fucking open the door!” I shouted louder, and finally, I heard a quiet noise coming from the apartment.

And a moment later, the door opened just a little, and I saw an eye peering at me, like he was afraid of me. I yanked it open, and stopped to stare at Glen, who stared at me with wide red eyes and pale face.

“T-Trouble…?” he coughed.

“Surprise, motherfucker,” I said and hit him hard in the face, sending him scattered on the floor.

While he coughed up his teeth and blood, I stepped in and closed the door behind me. He got a grip of himself and looked up at me with wide, shocked eyes. He froze when our eyes met.

“Seeing ghosts?” I spat at him.

“Trouble…? Is it… Is it really you?” he whispered. “I thought you–”

“Died?” I asked, leaning in to grab him by his shirt, and pulled him to sit up. “You fucking left me there, you piece of shit! It’s a goddamn miracle I survived and didn’t get caught by the army!”

But it was like he couldn’t hear me. He slowly reached with his hand and touched my face. I slapped it away.

“Get a fucking grip!” I shouted in his face, shaking him hard.

“You’re alive…” he mumbled and burst into tears. “You’re alive!”

“Ugh…”

I rolled my eyes and let go of him. I got up and walked past him, but stopped when I saw the condition our apartment was in. The kitchen, dining area, and living room were all one big space, and seeing the filth covering every surface made me want to vomit. For one, it smelled really, really disgusting. Two, there were trash, empty beer cans, large bottles of booze, and empty pizza boxes everywhere. I could spot a lot of molded food lying around, too.

And it was quiet. The bedroom doors at the back were all open, and none of them had any lights on.

I turned back to Glen. “Where is everyone?”

“Dead,” he said, sniffing and still staring at me. “Or captured… I don’t know… Dead, mostly.”

“Dead…?” I repeated, and I suddenly couldn’t breathe.

All of them…?

“Caleb, Mikey, and Bryan died in that house… Thomas… I don’t know… He never came back home…” Glen spoke and wobbled his way to the closest bottle of vodka, then went to sit down behind the dining table. “I thought I was the only one who survived…”

I watched in shock and silence as he took large gulps from the bottle and continued crying. He looked just as disgusting as our home. His clothes were wrinkly, torn, and so goddamn dirty I wanted to go wash my hands after touching him.

“Everyone is gone, Trouble…” he gasped, and drank some more. “They killed us all…”

“So you’ve been just sitting here, drinking yourself to death this entire time?” I guessed, glancing around again.

“I had nothing else left,” he muttered. “I was the only one who… I wished I’d died in that house, too. I tried to end it… But I was a coward.”

For some reason, I couldn’t be angry at him anymore for leaving me behind. I let out a deep breath and walked to the fridge to find something to drink. There was more cheap vodka. I grabbed a bottle, then went to sit behind the disgustingly dirty dining table and opened it.

“Well… You’re not alone anymore,” I told him quietly.

“How are you still alive?” Glen asked, turning to stare at me.

“Kidnapped an omega to take care of me,” I explained. “I was goddamn lucky, you know. I was seconds away from death.”

“I’m so goddamn sorry for leaving you behind,” he said, and started crying harder. “I… I thought… I panicked… I hate myself… I wasn’t thinking… And I thought you died because of me…”

I shook my head. “Well, I’m alive.”

“Thank the lords above for that,” he said, trying to smile, but when our eyes met, his misery took over him again. “I wish Thomas is still out there… Free… Alive…”

“Probably got himself captured,” I muttered. “Do you know what happened to the other guys we were with that day?”

He shook his head. “I know half of them are dead. I saw their bodies with my own eyes… But I don’t know if anyone else got out of there. The mafia… Then the army… I think I’m the only one who escaped. And you.”

I nodded and drank from the bottle. It tasted fucking disgusting. “So… We didn’t even get Mercer.”

“Fuck Mercer!” Glen suddenly shouted, angry as hell. “I’m glad he survived!”

“You are?” I asked in surprise.

“You know what those sons of bitches said to me when I got back to our base?” he asked me, his red eyes turning dark. “They were mad at me! They were mad because I didn’t stay behind to finish the job! They didn’t give a fucking shit about our dead friends!”

I let out a breath. “That’s because we’re just busboys… Cannon fodder. I understand that now. They don’t care shit about us.”

“They think our lives don’t matter,” Glen growled, but his anger faded and misery returned. “I watched my friends get torn apart, and they didn’t care… I was alone and they didn’t care…”

“Have you been at the base at all after that?” I asked.

“No… I don’t fucking care anymore… True Order can go fuck themselves for all I care…”

I turned to watch him closely. “I agree.”

“You do?” he asked, looking at me.

“They sent us to get killed,” I said, leaning closer. “They knew we were too weak against Mercer. They knew the kid was dangerous. And what did they do? They were sitting on their fat asses and did nothing to help us.”

“They did absolutely nothing…” Glen agreed. “And now our friends are gone…”

He continued crying, so I grabbed him by his shoulder, shaking him. “Look at me!”

He did, sniffing and gasping hard.

“I want revenge,” I told him quietly. “I want them to suffer for letting our friends, our brothers, die.”

His eyes grew wider, but then the anger returned. “They should suffer. But how? They’re jomicas. They’re stronger than us.”

“Don’t worry. We’re not going to fight them head on,” I said, leaning back in my seat.

“Then what can we do?” he asked.

“We hit where it hurts the most,” I muttered. “We’ll take away their money.”

“You mean…?” he asked with a frown.

I smiled at him. Kieran would be so proud…

“We’ll free their omegas.”