Kieran had fixed it. He’d done it so well I probably wouldn’t have noticed it in the middle of the colorful picture printed on it if I didn’t know what to look for. There was no trace of blood left, either. I could still smell the faint scent of laundry detergent. He’d washed all of them. Washed and fixed…

My alpha was watching me again in silence. I could feel its attention on me like a physical touch, and the pressure was growing. There was no ignoring it, but I tried. I didn’t need its hate right now. I didn’t need to know about the point it was trying to make clear.

Destroyer…

I gritted my teeth together, the heaviness on my chest getting worse. Yes, I’d helped to destroy lives. Lives like Kieran had. Because of me, there were omegas who never got to return home to their families, and children who were ripped away from their parents. I had helped to rip those lives apart. There were alphas still searching for their mates, the birthgivers of their children…

My alpha didn’t need to remind me of that.

Because I could still see Ares in my arms, giggling at his smiling father… That image was still vivid in my head…

I needed to leave.

I hastily pulled the shirt on. I ignored my tired body and my aching wound when I got up and changed my pants. I refused to think. About anything. I just needed to get the fuck out of there.

As soon as I got dressed, feeling weird being back in my own clothes, I took my gun and left the bag on the floor, then turned to face the stairs. But taking another step was not easy. My alpha was making it difficult.

But… Our mate…

“No…” I grunted, shaking my head. “Stop…”

It was a hard no. I refused to let myself to even consider it. The image of Ares in my lap, and Kieran leaning over him… So close to me… Happy… Laughing…

No… No.

I had to get the fuck out of there.

I pushed everything out of my head, took a tighter hold on my gun, then headed to the stairs. I listened carefully as I quietly climbed up. Kieran was somewhere in the house. Somewhere in the kitchen, or maybe in the living room… I wanted to leave without having to see him. I just needed to get my shoes and walk out.

Then I reached the top of the stairs, and Kieran’s scent grew stronger. Before I even realized it, I’d stopped next to the open door, staying hidden from view. That scent… Again… It was already luring me in…

And that image… Why couldn’t I forget it? Why couldn’t I get it out of my head? The baby and the omega, both so close to me…

Want…

No!

Together…

I wished I could’ve punched my alpha, to force it into silence, but it was right there, its needs and wants so clear it was practically shouting in my ear.

Mate!

I could have it. I could take it. I could easily follow my instincts and do whatever the hell I wanted. I could let my alpha have what it wanted.

But that weight on me… It was still growing heavier.

“So… You done lurking?”

I let out a breath and stepped out of the shadows to face Kieran. He stood in his kitchen, watching me. Something changed in him when he saw me fully clothed. Or maybe it was the gun I was holding.

He crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen counter behind him. His usual soft expression was gone, replaced by something harsh.

I peered around the house. The windows had been replaced, and the holes in the walls covered, though not yet painted over. Kieran must’ve spent the past few days cleaning, because the walls were the only proof left of the attack.

The baby still wasn’t there… My alpha couldn’t detect little Ares, no matter how hard it tried.

I turned my attention back to Kieran, who still only stared at me. I was supposed to head to the door, but his scent… And maybe I should’ve said something. Thank him for saving my life and threaten him to never speak of me or I’d return and make him suffer for it.

“So… What now?” he asked.

What now…?

I took a slow step toward him, and he shifted a little. Something about that triggered something in me, and I kept making my way slowly toward him. He stayed still, but the closer I got, the higher he raised his chin, like he was preparing himself for a fight. Or to spill his pheromones…

His scent was very strong now…

I stopped in front of him, bowing to act like I had strength in my body. He looked up at me, his eyes still cold.

“Is this the part where you kidnap me and take me to your buddies?” he asked.

I couldn’t help it… A growl escaped my throat at the thought of letting anyone touch this omega… And it wasn’t just my alpha’s anger.

“Or is this where you make me your private bitch?” he asked in a quieter voice, almost like he was taunting me.

“You still think this is all fun and games, huh?” I asked, resting my hands with the gun on the counter behind him, forcing him to lean back as I trapped him between my arms.

“No, not at all,” he said without losing his confidence.

His omega was calling to us… The scent of his pheromones was making me lightheaded, and my alpha wanted to take control so it could impress them. Keeping my sanity was growing harder by the minute.

Why didn’t I just fucking leave…? Why was I still there, letting this happen…?

“You know… You don’t have to go back to them,” Kieran murmured like he’d heard my thoughts, shifting a little closer to me. “Leave Jomica. Abandon True Order. That’s the only way you can have a good life. Or a life at all.”

“Why would you care?” I asked, my alpha forcing me to bow a little harder at him.

“Because your alpha returned, so it’s not too late for you,” Kieran said quietly. “And because I didn’t save your life just so you can go back to killing innocent people.”

“Why did you save my life?” I asked. “Why did you never give me to the army? Or Mercer?”

“I already told you. Saving lives is what I do.”

“That’s bullshit. Just admit it. You kept me here so you can, what? Convert me? To open my eyes?” I asked harshly.

He stared up at me. “Yes.”

“You’re so fucking naïve, you know that?” I asked and tried to pull away, but he grabbed me by my shirt and yanked me back. My words clearly hit a nerve. Or two.

“I held a dying sixteen-year-old terrorist in my arms!” he yelled at my face. “Sixteen! A child that was brainwashed to take innocent lives and then left to die when he was no longer useful! He died a slow, painful death, crying for his mother and begging me to believe he never wanted to hurt anyone! And now he’s buried with those same terrorists who used him and betrayed him!”

When his fit of anger was over, he pushed me harshly away and turned his back on me.

“Call me naïve if you want, but this world will never be saved if we keep killing each other,” he said. “I couldn’t save Joshua, but at least I saved you. Now it’s in your hands what you’re going to do with that life.”

I let out a slow breath as I watched his slim back. I hesitated, but then stepped back to him and touched his arm gently. He turned around to glare at me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, shocking both him and myself. “But you can’t save everyone.”

“Can I at least save one life?” he asked.

Mine? Was it even worth saving?

He closed the gap between us when I didn’t reply, his gaze trapping me to my place.

“Don’t go back to them,” he whispered.

“Where am I supposed to go then?” I asked.

“Stay with me,” he said with no hesitation. “Do something good with the life I saved.”

Good, huh…?

I guess… I guess that was the moment it really hit me… I would be dead if Kieran hadn’t fought so hard to save my life. My time had already come, but I was still here. Whatever I did from now on would happen because of him. My every action would hurt him.

That image of him and the baby in my arms…

I could have that…

“Don’t go,” Kieran whispered, resting his hands on my chest.

Again, his omega called to us, and my alpha was more than eager to answer. It wanted to stay and claim this omega and his child as ours. I’d never wanted that…

Or maybe I had…

I took Kieran’s hands… and gently pushed him away.

“No…” he said, his voice heavy, but I turned my back on him.

I needed to leave right now. That heaviness in my chest was only getting worse by the second. I couldn’t stay. I wished… But no.

“No!” Kieran repeated, and I heard him hurrying after me. I tried to ignore him, but he grabbed me by my arm, trying to stop me. “I won’t let you leave! There’s nothing for you if you go back to them!”

I tried to shove him away, but he refused to let go, and quickly stood in front of me.

“You’ll die a painful death if you go back! Your only reward is a nameless grave in the cemetery for terrorists!” he said, pleading. “You can’t go back. I won’t let you.”

“You should’ve kept me in chains then,” I said and pushed past him.

“Don’t force me to hurt you,” he said.

I sprung back around, raising my gun. “Just fucking give up already, all right?!”

“No,” he said, stepping to me, ignoring the gun I was holding. “I won’t let you go get yourself killed for people who don’t give a shit about you.”

With a heavy heart and an angry alpha, I brought the gun up and pressed it under his chin.

“Back off,” I said harshly. “I swear, if you don’t back off right now–”

I couldn’t even see him move, but suddenly, I had lost the gun, and Kieran was already pulling the magazine out of it. He dropped them both on the floor.

“You little–” I began, but he silenced me again.

By kissing me.