Chapter 15

“That’s nothing, Atticus was more sheltered than that as a kid - our dad is the way overprotective type,” Ceyden laughs as Xabien explains what Myles was like growing up. My mate had told me a while ago that he’d been quite sheltered due to his wolf spirit being quite weak until he became a teenager. But I hadn’t expected him to be this sheltered - apparently he wasn’t allowed to run around in wolf form without either an escort or someone keeping an eye on him.

“remember my mother telling me off after I’d tried to go out alone when I was around six or seven I think - she kept going on about how I was going to get attacked by some crazy rogue or something,” Myles smiles, but Atti’s hand immediately lands on my knee as reassurance. Just the word ‘rogue’ shouldn’t freak me out, but it still manages to send a jolt through my system. Myles doesn’t seem to notice the slight shift in my mood, which I’m glad for. I don’t want him to worry about me, especially when he’s already talking about his childhood and therefore his parents. For all I know, this could very well be one of his last memories of his mother, since Myles said she died when he was a child. 

“How come Atticus was even more sheltered than that?” Xabien laughs, looking in my friend’s direction disbelievingly. Atti leans forwards, removing his hand from my knee after giving me a gentle squeeze. 

“Well you see how I’m a red-head? Red wolves aren’t all that common, and since I was the last one that my dad even knew of, he wanted to make sure I didn’t get hurt outside the pack or anything. Especially since we live so close with the humans.” It’s tragically ironic that the worst pain was caused to Atti while he was in his own father’s study. Alpha Rayen couldn’t protect him from that, in the end.

I need to stop being gloomy but nothing seems to work. Every topic of conversation we have I manage to end up feeling bad about somehow. 

“Were you sheltered as a kid, Caro?” Xabien asks and I automatically sit up a little straighter, being addressed by my mate’s alpha. Myles gently touches my leg, leaning closer to let me know that I can relax. 

“No, not really,” I answer, taking Myles’ hand in mine and linking our fingers together. I can feel Myles’ happiness at my action through the bond whilst my own wolf is happy at the contact. “My mother is one of the best warriors in my pack, and my father taught me to be a healer from a young age, so I saw quite a lot of injuries and things throughout my childhood,” I explain. Xabien raises his eyebrows in surprise at my words.

“I didn’t realise you are trained in healing? We would always love more healers here,” he says brightly, meaning it to reassure me most likely, but I instantly shake my head.

“No I um. I can’t do it anymore. Sorry,” I murmur. It’s not exactly useful if I can’t touch other wolves in order to heal them, or if I have a panic attack from being near a male wolf. 

“That’s fine, right Xabien? We’ve got plenty already,” Myles smoothes his thumb across the back of my hand, undoubtably sensing my discomfort this time. Xabien looks to Myles in confusion but nods quickly.

“Of course. So anyway, how is living amongst the humans?” Xabien asks, directing his question to me, Atti and Blake. That was kind of him. Xabien is a good person - which I knew already, but I appreciate him more every time we meet. 

“I love it. Being in the pack was great, but this definitely works for us better,” Atti admits and Blake rests his arm around Atti’s waist, pulling his mate closer into his side.

“I agree, it’s quite relaxing living among the humans,” I chime in. “It’s very different and I can’t say I prefer it to living in a pack but I’m grateful that I’ve been able to live there for so long.” I feel my mate freeze a little as I talk - I sort of admitted to preferring living in a pack, which is true - but I suppose Myles wasn’t sure. He grins at me, that smile like a big excitable puppy. Maybe he really does want me to join his pack…maybe he hasn’t given up on this all yet.

After saying goodnight to all of our friends, Myles and I head over to his room. He climbs onto the bed and settles up against the headboard and then pats the space next to him. Kicking off my shoes and leaving them at the door, I sit next to my mate and immediately melt into his arms. Letting out a contented sigh, I smile against Myles’ shoulder.

“This was nice. I had a lot on my mind, but in the end I had a really good time,” I admit. I got to learn a little more about Xabien and Myles interact with his best friend, but more than that…it was just really nice to be surrounded by wolves I get on with and trust. I missed that more than I realised, I think.

“I’m really glad you had fun,” Myles says softly, shifting to lie down. I do the same and, feeling bold, rest my head on my mate’s chest, curling into his side. He instantly wraps his arm around my back, smoothing up and down my spine relaxingly. 

“I’m sorry about the pack healer stuff. Xabien was just trying to make you feel welcome I’m sure, but I um,” Myles pauses. “I haven’t told him anything about your situation. That’s why he was surprised that you were a healer in your pack. All he knows is that you’re living with the humans but are still a part of your pack. Well, that and that you’re uncomfortable around male wolves, but I haven’t said more than that. I didn’t think you’d want me to tell anyone about…what happened to you.”

I hum lightly, squeezing Myles a little tighter. Would I mind if Xabien knew? Do I want Xabien to know? To have another person I can trust to understand the real reasons I act the way I do? 

“I really appreciate you doing that for me, but…you don’t have to keep it from him,” I answer slowly. “If he’s going to be my alpha one day, he should probably know anyway.”

Myles is silent for a long moment before he turns to look at me. “Really? You think you might…” he trails off, soft hope shining in his eyes. Nodding, I chew on my lips.

“I do. I’m still not ready, but I do miss being in a pack. And Xabien is a really nice alpha. I’d probably be happy here, right?” 

My mate instantly nods, reaching out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. “The happiest. I’d make sure of it,” he whispers, his eyes a little misty. Gently reaching out, I stroke his cheek. 

“I know. I’ll be happy anywhere, as long as you’re by my side,” I murmur, my hand trembling against his cheek ever so slightly. Myles lays his hand over the top of mine, leaning into my touch and kissing my palm. 

“Caro…can I kiss you?” 

Gods, yes please.

Nodding, I let my eyes flutter shut as my beloved mate presses his lips to mine ever so gently. But after the quickest of kisses he’s already pulling back and my wolf protests in my mind. I agree there. Feeling emboldened by the kiss, I move my hand from Myles’ cheek to the back of his neck, guiding him back to me. Myles lets out a little sound of surprise but immediately moves to kiss me back, his hand slipping up to tangle in my hair. Happy zaps spread through me as the mate bond is continually satisfied, our souls close together. 

Pulling back from the kiss, I smooth circles into my mate’s neck. “You’re not going to get  bored of dealing with me, are you?” 

“Never, my love,” Myles smiles, his lips finding mine again.

I should never have worried. Myles loves me. Really loves me. And I love him just as much.