They spent the rest of the day talking. Not necessarily about personal lives, moreso the varying differences of their lives; after all, Cyrus was a Lycan and Paradox, a human. As boring as it sounded, it was riveting to Paradox to know more about the Lycan World. However, the more he knew, the more he hated it and hated himself for losing self-control. He was angry about the fact that he could no longer be “normal”. He was a Lycan’s mate; he was away from his family and best friend. All his dreams and aspirations were gone like smoke in the wind. At this point, it was grounded. There was no turnback. There was no reverse. There was no point of him raging or grieving or rebelling because everything was pointless: he brought it on himself. Case in point why he was at the dining table with Cyrus with food out front.

The food looked good, albeit some looked raw. The last time he ate was at ten in the morning and it was now five in the afternoon. As hungry as he was, he didn’t want to eat raw food. He wasn’t interested in poisoning himself at the mercy of a Lycan. When Cyrus saw him poking at his food, Cyrus said, “What? Not hungry?”

Paradox muttered, “You feed your guest blood and flesh?” He jabbed his fork into the steak and left it there.

“It’s not that raw,” Cyrus said.

Paradox gave him a horrified stare. “You eat completely raw then?” The thought was morbid, perturbing Paradox.

Cyrus held up a hand in defense: “Well, not necessarily. I am as man as I am wolf.”

Paradox pushed the chair out under him and stood up. This caused Cyrus to cease his eating. He watched Paradox carefully, his eyes of ice and fire never leaving Paradox’s face.

“What are you doing?” Cyrus asked him.

“I’m going.” Paradox said. It was foolish to announce he was going to leave; where would he go? It wasn’t like he could go anywhere, necessarily. In fact, leaving would be more dangerous than him staying inside Cyrus’s house. However, trying to leave the room to go to a different room wouldn’t do much. Not only did he not know the structure of the house, but he could wind up in a place where he shouldn’t wind up in. And this was Cyrus’s place—he could easily find him.

Cyrus leaned back against his chair. “Where would you go?” he asked.

“Where can I go?” Paradox asked.

“Anywhere you like honestly. But not outside. For your own safety.” Cyrus shrugged.

The rain outside was now coming down harder; the lights overhead flickering and buzzing softly. The large windows were shuttering from the furious winds; glancing out of the windows was impossible since the windows were blurry from the pouring rain.

“Is there something you want?” Cyrus asked.

Paradox continued staring out the window. He heard the low sound of thunder rumbling and lightning following suit. He heard the sound of Cyrus standing up and now Cyrus was in front of him, holding his face in his hands, making him look up at him. However, Paradox focused his gaze on the ground, or moreso Cyrus’s hands. He didn’t want to look in his eyes, those heterochromia iridum eyes.

“Paradox.” Cyrus said.

He looked up at him.

“What are you thinking?” Cyrus wondered.

“Must I tell you everything on my mind? You’re a Lycan—an adult Lycan. You…” Paradox hesitated. “I barely know you. I know you’re name’s Cyrus Daemin; you have an older brother—”

“Two older, actually,” Cyrus said.

“Two? Well, fine. Two older brothers. You have three nephews—”

“And a niece.” Cyrus added. “With another nephew on the way.”

“What the—okay, that’s it. I’m done talking.” Paradox grumbled.

Cyrus looked amused. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry.” He ruffled Paradox’s hair.

Paradox pulled back, scowling at the Lycan, but it faded when Cyrus pressed a light kiss on Paradox’s forehead. He hated this strange affection—he wasn’t used to it. He had never been in a single relationship and now suddenly he was in one with a Lycanthrope who was much older than him and the said relationship was sexual. He didn’t know if he was doing anything right or if anything that was happening was normal.

Then again, how was it normal? A Lycan and a human boy. It sounded fanatical, something impossible. But it was happening and Paradox wasn’t dreaming—it was more than a fevered dream, more lucid and nowhere near hypnagogic. Everything was too much too sudden that Paradox felt like he was falling, barely finding his footing on unsteady grounds.

“Are you okay?” Cyrus asked, breaking Paradox’s thoughts.

“Fine,” Paradox said cuttingly.

Cyrus brushed his thumb over Paradox’s cheekbone and Paradox’s heart stuttered. This shouldn’t be exciting, this shouldn’t be pleasuring—but Paradox couldn’t help himself. He was new to all of it, and every little touch was a wild fire in his system.

“You’re heating up,” Cyrus muttered, drawing back, brows knitted in concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Pheromones,” Paradox said. It was true—Cyrus’s pheromones, that heavy scent of pines in a forest after the rain, was making him feel inebriated. Were pheromones something the Lycans couldn’t shut off? Or did it grow more powerful when they were near a prey?

“Is it bothering you?” Cyrus asked in a low voice.

“N-not necessarily,” Paradox said hesitantly. The pheromones, as heavy as it felt, made Paradox unconsciously relax. The scent was alluring and comforting; an almost nostalgic feeling. He had to step back to avoid leaning into Cyrus which would be uncomfortable. He had to constantly remind himself that he barely knew Cyrus—that Cyrus was a Lycan, not a man. This would be only day two of knowing him. Hardly enough time to know everything.

“Is there something you want?” Cyrus murmured.

“C-can I ask you some questions?” Paradox asked.

Cyrus shrugged. “If you want.”

Paradox hesitated to ask his question but when he did, he didn’t look at Cyrus: “Have you slept with a human before me?”

There was a shift in light in Cyrus’s eyes of fire and ice. He suddenly went stiff, stepping back, jaw tight. Paradox didn’t understand why Cyrus was like this. It seemed as if he was uncomfortable.

“It was one other time,” Cyrus said after a moment’s pause. “I was younger. I wasn’t in much control then compared to now. I—I hurt her…and I had vowed I wouldn’t ever be with another human but…” Cyrus scoffed, shaking his head. “Look at this.”

“‘Her’?” Paradox echoed.

“I’m omni,” Cyrus said. “But, uh, yeah. Just one other time. You’re the second.”

Paradox had a feeling that Cyrus had been with someone else—it seemed almost impossible for him to be a virgin, considering his age and his nature (being a Lycan). Somehow this was disappointing to Paradox. Not because he wanted to be the first human of Cyrus, rather he had always believed he would find someone like him—a boy his age as well as a virgin. They would be each other’s first and explore the relationship together. However with Cyrus, he had the upper hand in this relationship. Paradox was following along with whatever Cyrus did.

“How many others have you been with?” Paradox asked.

Cyrus blinked, caught off guard. “Well…” he said slowly. He sighed heavily. “It shouldn’t matter, should it? What happened in the past stays in the past. Right now I have you.”

“I want to know.” Paradox said.

“I’ve been with four Omegas, three recessive, one dominant. I’ve been with one human girl. Uh, and a Hybrid. This was a while back, however. Like, when I was fifteen, sixteen.” Cyrus gave off a weak chuckle. “I’d rather not discuss it any more. I’m uncomfortable.”

“And how do I know you’re telling the truth?” Paradox wondered.

A slight grin curved on Cyrus’s lips. “You don’t.”

“S-so then how do I know you won’t hurt me? How can I trust you won’t manipulate me, abuse me, hurt me, or-or torture me?” Paradox asked. His voice was now trembling.

“You don’t know.” Cyrus said calmly. “But isn’t that what trust is? You just have to believe what I say when I say I won’t hurt you?”

“But how can I trust you?” Paradox said.

Cyrus sighed heavily. He leaned close to Paradox and said, “What can I do to make you trust me?”

Paradox wasn’t sure how to respond to Cyrus’s question. He wasn’t sure what exactly the Lycan could do to make him trust him—he doubted he would ever fully trust him because, again, Cyrus was older and a Lycan. He began thinking about ways Cyrus could possibly do to lead Paradox to trust him and eventually he had a thought, but it wasn’t the best thought. Lately it was all bad thoughts with no good intentions. He wanted to blame Caravel for taking him to Lumen Lunae and Dodencel, but that would be wrong to accuse his best friend. It was Paradox’s choice in the end: he chose to go; Caravel didn’t drag him or force him to come. He strongly suggested it but it was free will in the end.

“How good of a liar are you?” Paradox asked.

“Fairly good, actually. Surprises me, too.” Cyrus replied. He canted his head. “Now why? Is it because you believe I’m lying?”

“You just admit you’re a good liar,” Paradox pointed out.

“True, but what if I’m lying? What if I’m a horrible liar? You don’t know, do you?” Cyrus said.

“Now you’re fucking with me.” Paradox snapped.

“You rather the mind or the body?” Cyrus said, grinning.

“I hate you,” Paradox grumbled.

“You’ll grow to love me. They all do.” Cyrus said, shrugging. He then added, “Well, as lovely as it is to stand and talk, I very much rather sit down. Or, preferably do something else since we have been talking since we got here. Any suggestions…Paradox?”

“If I…” Paradox began but stopped short, alarmed that he even had something to suggest. This caught Cyrus’s full attention and he was looking at him curiously with his heterochromia eyes. Paradox felt uncomfortable, embarrassed, and even shy that Cyrus was staring at him so intently; if he wanted to pose the vulgar question, it would make Paradox feel awkward. But the fact that the question was even vulgar in the first place was questionable. This was nothing like Paradox. Perhaps Caravel’s sexual habits finally rubbed off on him.

“If I…ask you to…to…I-I don’t know, restrain me, would you?” Paradox said slowly, not daring to look Cyrus in the eyes.

“Restrain?” mused the Lycan. “Moving fast, are we? Yes. If you’d want that, I would. Though a safe word would be wise just in case.”

“Lilies,” Paradox said, surprising himself and Cyrus.

“And here I’m really wondering if you were even a virgin from the start. Lilies. Fine by me. Mine is stardust. Now why? Well, just in case I feel the need to stop myself but you don’t feel like it.” Cyrus said with a shrug. Cyrus then added, “Do you want to move this to the bedroom?”

Paradox had barely nodded before Cyrus picked him up. The movement was swift and precise that Paradox hardly registered what had happened. When realizing that Cyrus was carrying him, he felt his face blow up with heat and he snapped, “H-hey! I can walk! I’m not even that small! We’re almost the same height!”

Cyrus gave him a wide grin. “I’m still taller than you. Plus, you weigh like nothing.”

Paradox stared at him. “I weigh 175 pounds.”

“Light,” Cyrus remarked. “I can carry more.” His smile was infuriating; he looked too happy, too smug. He pressed a light kiss on Paradox’s forehead and Paradox’s breath snared in his throat. “Now let’s see how much you can handle tonight.”