“Oh Max no,” I groaned as Maddox splashed me with water, “stop it silly!”

“Abba,” he babbled, blowing a small bubble before giggling.

Two weeks after the engagement party that had left me wondering where Roe and Ocean stood, Stephen had asked if I could watch Maddox for a few hours as he had a meeting regarding his new salon and Dorothy had classes. I didn’t mind in the slightest, immediately taking Maddox and using this as an excuse to bond further with him. Since the day we met, Stephen and I had only spent one day apart, always finding something to do or simply sitting in my apartment talking as Maddox played with Phoenix as my brother was effectively a giant toddler himself.

“Who is Abba? The band?” I laughed, draining the bathtub and scooping Maddox into my arms, not caring that he was soaking wet, “no more messy food for you.”

“Abba,” Maddox squeezed my cheeks as I carried him into my bedroom, laying him on the bed to put a clean diaper and clothes on him.

“Oh. Am I Abba?” I whispered.

“Abba,” Maddox giggled, sticking his tongue out as he stared at me, “Dada?”

“Dada will be here soon, baby. I’m sure he misses you too,” I shook my head, pulling his clothes on before carrying him into the living room, “it’s bottle and nappy time, okay?”

Maddox tried to pull my eyepatch off, a common occurrence as he was incredibly curious about it and I grabbed his hand, placing it on my chest as we headed into the kitchen. After making his afternoon bottle and wrapping him tightly in a blanket, I sat on the couch, holding him as we watched a movie I knew he loved, Maddox quickly falling asleep.

Thank God.

He’s a calm baby but I’m exhausted.

Maybe I should nap too?

Stevie showed me how to keep Max from falling off the bed and I’m a light sleeper.

Stevie has a key to the apartment so I don't have to wake up to let him in…

Fuck it.

Nap time.

Setting the bottle on the table, I carried Maddox into my room and set everything up before cuddling down next to him, my hand on his chest so I’d know if he moved while I slept.

“Hyacinth,” a distant voice called, “Hyacinth? Oh you must be exhausted.”

Oh.

It’s Stevie.

I’ll just keep sleeping.

“You’re beautiful,” Stephen whispered, a gentle feeling spreading across my shoulder, “tell me. How do I make you mine? You still talk about Ocean all the time. I’m so jealous. I know I haven’t known you as long. But I care and want to take things further. How do I do it? Thank god you’re asleep. I’d be too embarrassed to say this to your face. I just hope you’ll choose me and Max. Not anyone else… I’ll wait. I’m patient.”

Do I really talk about Ocean that much?

Oh that must hurt so bad.

I’m sorry, Stevie.

The bed shifted and I was suddenly acutely aware of a warmth around my waist.

He’s holding me?

We have cuddled a little on the couch but never like this.

“Stevie?” I whispered, my voice thick.

“Hi,” he whispered back, “I’m sorry for touching you without asking. I got tired looking at you and Max. Would you like me to move?”

“N… no it’s fine. But please ask me next time.”

“I swear it and I’m sorry.”

I slowly drifted back to sleep, the warmth of Stephen pressed close to me combined with the sound of Maddox’s gentle breathing wonderful.

“What the hell are you talking about?” A shout came from the living room, startling both Maddox and myself and Maddox began to cry loudly.

“Shh,” I whispered, rubbing his chest, “it’s okay baby.”

“Who in the fuck is yelling?” Stephen muttered from behind me, squeezing my waist tightly.

“That’s absolutely Cove. I should go see what’s going on.”

Stephen grumbled, pulling me closer and making me laugh as Maddox climbed onto his knees, his tiny hands pressed to my side.

“Dada!”

“Hi baby,” Stephen murmured, letting me go to reach up and rub Maddox’s cheek.

“Abba,” Maddox poked my cheek and I opened my eye to look at him, “Abba.”

“What, Max?”

“Abba!” He giggled and I tickled him, making him squeal.

“That’s a new word?” Stephen yawned, sitting up and I copied, pulling Maddox into my lap.

“Yeah he seems to say it when he’s looking at me,” I shrugged, resting my head against Stephen’s arm, “watch. Max? Where’s Dada?”

Maddox smiled brightly at Stephen, reaching out with one tiny hand to him, “dada.”

“Who is Abba?”

Maddox wiggled in my lap, gripping my shirt, “Abba!”

“I’m pretty sure he gave me a name. I can’t imagine Hyacinth would be easy for an eleven and a half month old to say. Not really sure why he picked Abba. Probably easy for him,” I laughed, kissing Maddox on the forehead, “come on. I can hear Phoenix too. I guarantee they’re arguing out there and it’ll be loud. Not good for Maddox to hear.”

Stephen and I left my room with Maddox where we found Cove, Phoenix, and a surprising guest standing in the living room, Phoenix between the two of them.

“Ocean, what the hell are you doing here?” I looked at him surprised, Maddox bouncing on my hip.

“You,” he narrowed his eyes at me and before he could move, Cove grabbed him, “you ruined everything.”

“Ruined what?”

“You… convinced Roe to leave me. It wasn’t enough to tell me you couldn’t be with me? You had to destroy my life too?”

“I didn’t convince him of anything,” I handed Maddox to Stephen, my hands starting to shake, “I told him the truth. That you told me you’d leave him for me. No one deserved that, Ocean. He needed to know the truth. I didn’t say anything beyond that. All I asked was if he was happy and truly wanted to marry you. He said no. That’s got nothing to do with me. I was just giving advice. It was clear how unhappy he was by the look on his face. Tell me, did you force him to come talk to me at the engagement party?”

“No!”

“Yes you did,” Stephen cut in and we all looked at him, “I was behind you. The salad bar was behind your table. I was getting food for Hyacinth and could hear the two of you talking. You effectively bullied Roe into going over to Hyacinth to talk. Told him that if he didn’t then you were done. Based on everything, my guess was you were trying to make Hyacinth jealous. To show him that Roe was the bigger person in the situation. But you never had to do that, Ocean. Hyacinth forgave you for leaving and just wants you to be happy. If you hadn’t done that, you’d be getting married. But you couldn’t let it go. You kept staring at us. At me. I could feel it, it’s why I kept looking back at you the entire night. I don’t even know you, but I could sense the… hatred? No. Jealousy of seeing Hyacinth and me together. My guess is you sent Roe over to try and get in between us. To make Hyacinth upset and since you know his issues with anger, you probably assumed he’d take it out on me and drive me away. But that didn’t happen. Because Hyacinth saw through Roe and got honesty from him. You ruined everything by trying to meddle, Ocean. Not Hyacinth and I don’t appreciate you showing up here and blaming him.”

“You… don’t know us. Don’t know what we went through together,” Ocean spit out, making Stephen laugh.

“Yes I do. Hyacinth has told me everything. From meeting you, the time at their parents wedding they asked you to get married when you’re adults, losing their great grandparents and how you held them all night, telling them you would always be there. That things would be okay. How you ignored them every single time you had a new boyfriend, but they knew they were also overreacting and should have made an attempt to be friends with your partner. The fight that left their hand scarred and your eye socket broken followed by you stealing their first kiss without asking. How they don’t count that anymore. The way you came back together only for you to leave for… I think it was Scotland and then you disappeared for years. Cut all contact, everything. You disappeared. That’s your fault, Ocean. You brought all of this to this point. It never had to be like this. But it is, and you have to learn to live with that.”

“Did they tell you about how I would clean and wrap their arms every single time they cut themselves because they hated who they were? Hm? How binging and purging due to bulimia means they’ll probably lose their teeth?” Ocean shouted before covering his mouth and I started to cry, turning on my heel and stomping away, “Hyacinth! Cinny I’m sorry!” He yelled after me and I slammed my bedroom door closed, sitting on the end of the bed.

“You fucking idiot!” Phoenix shouted, his voice muffled and there were a few scuffing sounds followed by the front door opening and closing.

Stevie didn’t need to know that yet.

I wasn’t ready to tell him.

Fuck you, Ocean.

If your plan was to ruin what we have going….

You did it.

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door and I wiped my face with my blanket, hot angry tears still escaping me.

“No,” I whispered.

“Abba!” Maddox shouted, a tiny smack on the door and my heart clenched, “Abba!”

Max…

Oh you sweet boy…

Getting up, I slowly opened the door to find Maddox standing there on his own, holding his arms out to keep himself balanced. Squatting down, I gently wrapped my arms around him and he giggled, babbling quietly.

“Abba?” Maddox looked up at me and I sniffled, wiping a tear away.

“Hi Maxy,” I did my best to smile, “where’s your dada?”

Maddox continued to stare and I picked him up, going into the living room to find Stephen sitting on the couch with Phoenix, Cove nowhere to be seen.

“Guys?” I called and they turned to look at me, “where’s Cove?”

“Took Ocean to their parents to have a pretty fucking serious talk,” Phoenix bitterly laughed, “we figured if anyone would get you to come out and talk to us it’d be Maddox.”

“Tricky. But it worked,” I sat on the chair across from them, Maddox in my lap, “thank you… for what you said, Stevie.”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” Stephen came over and slowly kneeled next to my chair, “look at me.”

“I can’t…”

“Max? Wanna go play with Uncle Nix?” Phoenix immediately walked over and took Maddox from me, carrying him to his own bedroom and closing the door.

“Wait he was my safe-“ was all that I got out before I hung my head, “Stevie…”

“Stop,” Stephen softly touched my leg and I started to cry again, “no need. I told you, you never have to explain things to me until you’re ready.”

“Well it was ruined and you know now.”

“I already did,” he whispered and I looked over at him, “I’ve seen your arms. You roll up your sleeves to wash dishes. I simply didn’t say anything because I don’t want to push you into talking. It wouldn’t be nice of me to do so. It doesn’t create trust between people when you force them to share. I was willing to wait. As long as you needed. I still am. But I needed you to know that I knew okay? And I don’t find it disgusting. I’m actually worried but I want to ask one question.”

“Okay.”

“Did you get help?”

“Very much so, yes. It’s been 4 years since I hurt myself and 3 since I got my eating disorder under control. My parents didn’t know about that. Only Phoenix, Ocean, and Cove. I wouldn’t let them tell anyone. I’m sure Sparrow knew. Phoenix was never good at hiding things from him. But I got help on my own. I still… go to therapy twice a week and take medication but I’m solid now. Actually… I feel better now than I have in a long time. I think… finally getting to tell Ocean exactly how I felt is what I’ve needed for years. I’m not angry. I thought I would be. That’s how I always dealt with these feelings. Swift violence. Usually against myself. Punching things until I bled. But I dont have the need to do that. I feel… Well, I’m hurt because I didn’t want to tell you yet. I wasn’t ready. But now that you do know… it feels good. To not have anymore secrets.”

“I’m glad,” he smiled gently, rubbing my leg and I slowly pulled my sleeves back, looking away as he softly touched my inner arms, “they’ve healed well. Some are deep but they’re not bad. Very faded and not puffy. I’m glad you made it through,” there was a warmth on my right wrist and I looked down to realize he was pressing my arm to his cheek, “because the idea of your light being gone from this world is too much. I read your poetry. Doe gave me the books. Made me cry. People need to see such honesty. Such openness. You bring hope to so many people. But most of all,” he smiled up at me and I gently cupped his cheek, “to me.”

“Stevie…” I whispered.

“I told you. I don’t lie. I’m not good at it. I’m proud of you, Hyacinth. You’ve done so well.”

Tears started to escape me again and I leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and making him gasp, warmth building under my lips.

“I appreciate you,” I whispered against his skin, “I don’t think you hear that enough. Or ever. But I appreciate you so much.”

“I…” he stuttered, wrapping a hand in my hair and I giggled softly, “thank you too then.”

“Mhm. You learned my deepest held secrets tonight. You can run away. I’m not fun to look at. My teeth will probably fall out in a few years. I destroyed them entirely. I’ll need implants.”

“I don’t care about that. I don’t care what you look like even if you are so… beautiful. An actual angel walking around. I care about your heart.”

“So?”

“So I’m not going anywhere. Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not,” I laughed and climbed out of my chair, hugging Stephen tightly as we fell onto the ground with a loud thud, “Jesus why do you have to be so big!”

“Why do you have to be so tall!” He laughed as well, wrapping his arms around my back and I nuzzled his chest, “Hyacinth?”

“I’m okay. So stop worrying. I feel light.”

“Hyacinth, can I make you dinner in two days? At my house? I’d like to finally tell you something I’ve been hiding,” he shoved the questions from his chest and I leaned up to look at him, “it’s about Shane and why I’ve never… been with anyone as an adult.”

“Oh. Mhm. Dinner. You, me, and Max.”

“N… no just you and me. I already talked to your parents, they’re going to take Max.”

“You…”

“I already planned to ask you before this all happened. I’m ready to share. Consider it… me asking you on a date.”

“We already have been on a few.”

“Well those are usually outings with Max even if we consider them dates. This is the second… you and me date.”

“Oh,” I giggled, “I’d love nothing more.”

“Perfect,” he tucked my hair away from my face as Cove came stomping inside.

“Where’s my fiancé?” Cove looked over at us, clearly ignoring what was happening and I scrambled up, running over to him.

“Cove? You’re bleeding,” I whispered, using my sleeve to stop blood that was coming from the side of his neck.

“Yeah I…”

“What in the world?” Stephen whispered, looking out of the apartment window at something that had caught his attention, “Cove what happened to your car?”

“I don’t know,” Cove shrugged and Stephen came over, staring into his eyes before grabbing his phone and immediately calling someone.

“Stevie?” I whispered.

“Hi yes,” he didn’t answer me, instead talking into the receiver, “I need an ambulance at Turn the Page.”

“Stevie what’s happening?” I started to panic as Phoenix came from the room with Maddox.

“He hit his head. His car is destroyed. I have no idea how he got all the way back here. Look into his eyes, Hyacinth. His pupils aren’t changing in the light. He can’t see you.”