It’s over. 

Finally. 

Tav could hardly believe it. After all this time, and coming so close to failing so many times, the Absolute was gone. No more tadpoles. No more mind control or the risk of transforming into a mind flayer looming over her head. Baldur’s gate had erupted into revelry and festivities. So they should, she thought. Tomorrow, they would have to come to terms with their dead, and the permanent scars left on them all. Shadowheart and her parents needed to get to know one another all over again. Karlach and Wyll were probably knee deep in devils in Avernus by now. Gale was back in the bosom of his goddess and love, Mystra, and Lae’zel was leading the rebellion against her Queen with Kith’rak Voss by her side. 

Astarion was utterly in his element now. Tav watched him swanning around the grand assembly of the upper class of the city like he was born to be here. He charmed the room, and solidified his new position as the leader of Baldur’s Gate. Well? With Gortash gone, someone had to fill the void. Why not the Vampire Acendant himself? It suited his plans for dominance perfectly, after all. Now he can rule the city from the shadows, and from the fanciest parties. Tav sighed, melting happily into the shadows and watching on as everyone got their happily ever after…Everyone except for me, of course. She swallowed thickly, her dark blue skin making it impossible to make out her subtle frown from the dark corner she lurked in. As a Tiefling, she’d always felt unwelcome wherever she was. As a Bhaal spawn? She had revelled in the pain and defeat of others. Basked in their agony and bathed in her supremacy. Or at least, that was before Orin made scrambled eggs of her brain and let a tadpole wriggle in there. The old Tav embraced her dark urge to kill and never bore the brunt of her loneliness. When she lost her memories, she lost that part of herself that didn’t give a shit what a soon-to-be corpse might think of her, as long as they screamed sweetly as she flayed them. 

Post-tadpole Tav, as she sometimes called herself, felt like her loneliness was strangling her. Despite the impending doom that dominated her life for so long, for a little while, she found happiness for herself. With her friends and one very charming, very sexy, and very seductive vampiric lover. She watched him with fiery blue eyes, even now, as he swanned around the ballroom. Kissing the cheeks of nobles and giving that come-hither look to their sons and daughters alike. I was such a fool. She pursed her lips together ever so, and folded her arms under her spider web robe. I thought he loved me. He called me his love. He held me so sweetly whenever he bit me or kissed me. He talked of our lives together once this was all over. How he’d rule and have me, his Bhaal-spawn babe by his side. 

Yet the moment he got what he wanted? He whipped out the rug from under her. Your services are no longer required, he said. I protected him, got him to Baldur’s gate, helped him get revenge against Cazador, and ascended in his place. He didn’t need me anymore. She turned her face away from the crowd and tried to sink against the stone wall. The last thing Tav wanted was to be at this damn party. To be given a medal, a fancy title in thanks for saving the city, and made to smile for the masses. She couldn’t even use one of her other companions to hide from the adoring public, or Astarion, whenever he came over to get her to be a good Saviour, and work the connections he was forming. 

Gale and Elminster were drunk and eating a cheese board with great (drunkard) interest, and the rest of her friends had managed to avoid this farce entirely. It’s not a farce. The Netherbrain nearly destroyed and dominated us all. It’s only right to celebrate. She rubbed her left bicep and closed her fiery blue eyes. Just because I’d prefer to face an army of trolls instead, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for everyone else to unwind. I’m the freak here, not them. 

Ah yes, another nail in the coffin for why Astarion both used her, and no longer wanted to keep her as his pet lover. Defying a God put you on a rather bloody shit list, and Astarion wasn’t keen to be on that list with her. Bhaal cultists had named her enemy number one and tried to kill her repeatedly along the way to the Netherbrain. She doubted they would give up now that it was gone. Tav smiled, thinking how that would certainly lighten her mood. Some assassins jumping out of the shadows for her to rip her magic through. 

“Oh, my sweet, you tease.” The familiar melody of Astarion’s voice drew her from her daydream, and her eyes searched for him. Tav found him with his arm looped with a lovely-looking half-elf. She was dressed in a gown worth more than all the gold Tav had ever seen. Pale skin, long blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and delicate in all her features. Unlike me. She indulged in some self-pity and sighed to one side. Her skin was dark blue, and the ridges of her skeleton beneath her muscles gave her a far from soft appearance. Yes, she had wide hips and shoulders, but she also had black horns sweeping back from her head, and a long, pointed tail. Said tail was currently resting across her feet in a self-comforting gesture. Rather foolishly, she decided to wear something nice for this party and regretted it. I guess I hoped that Astarion would compliment me in this elegant white dress. But why would he? He has prettier, bigger, richer fish to catch here. “Stop it! Whatever will I do with you, my dear? So coy.” The noble lady on his arm giggled and clung to his every word. “I could eat you right up.” 

Tav gripped her hands into fists within her folded arms. She doesn’t know that he’s not joking. At the sight of Astarion whispering something that made his prey blush three shades of pink, and then his red eyes locking onto her from across the room, Tav decided she’d been present at this party long enough. I will not stand here and mope after him as he chases after his next meal ticket. I’m certainly not in the mood to be dangled in front of another pair of pompous lordlings tonight. I’ve had enough of all of this. Including Astarion’s smirks and stares. At least the vampire didn’t hide how much of an asset she was to his plans for domination. In charming himself into possession of an army of influential puppets to take over the city. This was his plan all along, and he never hid from her his plans to one day claim this power for himself. 

Tav just wished he’d been a little more honest with her before she developed feelings for him. Still…it was nice while it lasted. Tav would be lying if she didn’t look fondly back on the memories of how cherished he made her feel. To be desired for something other than her ability to slay her way through the enemy’s ranks. For a monster like me, that was probably the only kind of happiness I’ll ever know. I don’t regret it, but I hate how empty I feel now. And how…effortless it is for him to just carry on like I never meant anything to him. I need to learn to do the same. Shit, if I can stand in front of a giant Elder Brain and tell it to fuck itself, I should be able to get over Astarion. “-sure she’d be delighted to meet you.” The devil himself was escorting over three lovely ladies, and Tav’s last drop of patience dried right up. No, I bloody wouldn’t. 

Tav backed up behind a curtain and cast the spell dimension door against the wall before Astarion and his entourage could reach her. She visualised the front door to Astarion’s palace (renovated heavily after Cazador’s demise) and took a deep breath of the night air. Thank the Gods. I was suffocating in there. 

She didn’t let her guard down while walking the streets, as a cultist or foolish mugger could try to jump her at this hour. She kind of hoped they would, just to end the evening on a high note. More so, however, she just wanted to go to bed and get some rest. Her feet took her out of habit to the Elf Song tavern. It had been her home ever since she came to the city. Only, she hesitated once she was across the threshold of the pub. It was loud and lairy, with people celebrating their triumph over the mind-flayers and the absolute. She smiled, glad to see some honest revelry and glad to have played her part in it’s making. Tav side stepped a stumbling half Orc as he clumsily did a jig with a tankard of ale in each hand. She continued moving towards the stairs, her destination being the rooms she still rented from the tavern owner. She stopped in her tracks when her eyes caught sight of the kitchen door to the right of the bar. In that moment, she gasped and realised that while the city drank and sang in praise to their Champions for saving Baldur’s Gate, one person was not part of the celebration. The one person who none of this would have been possible without. Her hand instinctively went to her back pouch, but she wasn’t wearing it with her elegant robe. The astral prism was no longer inside it, even if she was wearing it. The Emperor didn’t need to hide within it anymore, now the Elder Brain was no more. In fact, with the demise of the Absolute and the tadpoles, Tav’s mind felt very empty. She would miss the powers granted to her by the tadpole, but even more so, she missed the encouraging voice of the Emperor. In moments of self-doubt or when her dark urge threatened to rob her of her sanity, he always spoke to Tav so she felt calm and centred. Bolstered and ready to face whatever new challenge came around the corner next. For the first time since this whole mess began, she felt like she lacked direction. He was always there to guide me towards my next target, and away from distractions. What would he say to me right now if he were still in my head, I wonder? Tav smiled at the thought. 

A great many things, Tav, but perhaps you would like me to begin with an invitation to say those things in person?