Saying goodbye to his parents is emotionally exhausting, and by the time Kita's in the carriage on the way to the palace, he's ready to pass out. This may be in part because he was up so late, meeting with Evander and everything.
By the time they reach the palace, Kita is being escorted to his room, and he finds himself thankful that he will have his own bedroom. If he had to actually share a room with Alexis, it would've been much harder to keep this secret. He would not be able to explain sneaking out so much in the middle of the night.
Then again, this place is ridiculously guarded at all times. Kita may be screwed either way.
It's while Kita is in the middle of unpacking all his things, that he sees Alexis for the first time since the night they agreed to marry.
The castle staff attempted to help Kita, but he dismissed them in favor of doing it on his own. He figured they'd probably end up putting some of his things in places they don't belong, and he'd like to avoid the confusion. He is in the middle of organizing his clothes on hangers, when he hears a knock on the already ajar door.
Kita looks up, several shirts in hand, and finds Alexis in the doorway. Kita had been mentally preparing himself for this, for seeing his best friend again after his recent revelation. However, he realizes pretty quickly that that was for nothing. He is immediately overcome with a wave of nerves, tensing up and dropping the clothes he'd been holding.
Kita turns to face Alexis as he enters, hands already fidgeting. Alexis glances around the room, expression content. He looks pretty happy, which is good, because he's been so stressed lately. It's refreshing. Of course, Alexis is about as expressive as his mother. The only giveaway that he's in a good mood is essentially the lack of anything negative in his expression. He's also just... looking at Kita a certain way, though.
His gaze is soft. Kita starts to feel nervous.
"I wanted to check on you," Alexis announces the reason behind his presence. Kita was looking at him, but as soon as Alexis makes eye contact with him, he averts his eyes to the ground. He's never kept something from Alexis before. It's difficult. More than anything, he wants to tell the guy all about everything that's happened recently.
He can't, though. Kita just can't risk it. He can't be optimistic about this, he knows what will happen if Alexis finds out. Kita will be done for. The thought honestly hurts.
"I'm good. Just unpacking."
Alexis hums, and then he's only a few feet away. Kita continues looking down, Alexis' boots now in his field of vision. He's in his normal clothes, meaning he's not coming from or going on a hunt. This is rare, since basically all Alexis does is hunt. The fact he's not out killing any monsters makes Kita feel a little better.
Kita never thought this day would come. He never thought he'd sympathize with monsters. Never thought he'd care.
"You don't have to do this, you know." Alexis says. Kita purses his lips. "Marriage is a big commitment."
Kita looks up, meeting Alexis' gaze. He's looking at Kita meaningfully, and Kita wants to back out. He wants to be free of this. However, he's already gotten this far, and he knows that if he does then Alexis will be back at square one. He might even marry someone else, and just the thought of that ignites a spark of... something, in Kita. It would be best to avoid that situation entirely.
"Yeah, well," Kita says, looking off to the side. Alexis' pretty silver eyes have never set him on edge before, he'd always viewed them as so comforting. Now, however, it's hitting him that they may be the last thing he will ever see. Except, they won't be filled with the warmth they are now. They will be pure, steely hate. "It's for the empire."
"I just want you to be comfortable. It won't hurt my feelings if you change your mind. I can always just figure something else out."
What, though? What other options are there? Alexis could marry someone else, but that is out of the question. He could take the throne by himself, but Eve is pretty hellbent against it. The empire is going so downhill because she's a single person trying to rule one of the largest and most influential empires in the world. If Alexis took over by himself, it would just be the same problem.
Kita's nervous, so he's not thinking clearly. That is the only logical explanation for his next words. "I'm not changing my mind. I don't want you marrying someone else."
Yeah, that catches Alexis' attention. He gets a look of intrigue on his face, the corner of his mouth curling upwards slightly. Shit, Kita did not mean for it to come out like that. He sounded so... possessive.
"I mean, just because— you know, because your standards are so high. I wouldn't want you to have to, you know, settle. I mean, I guess you are kind of settling with me, since I was basically a last resort. I just... I don't know, if you were with someone else, I wouldn't see you as m—"
Alexis, thank god, cuts off whatever the hell that was. Essentially just Kita digging himself a deeper hole. He puts a hand over Kita's mouth, and he's closer than he was before.
"You aren't a last resort, Kita." Alexis tells him, amusement and fondness evident in both his gaze and tone. "You were always my first choice."
He's so obviously in love with you
Kita stares up at him, his skin feeling hot where Alexis is touching him. He just blinks, at a complete loss. His first choice? Always? No, there's no way. Evander and that girl had no idea what they were talking about. Alexis is just trying to make him feel better.
Then again, Alexis has made quite a few jokes about marrying Kita, in the past. Before it was even an option.
No, no, stop. There's no way. Nobody of Alexis' class would ever be interested in the sheer mediocrity of Kita Daelle. He's just wishful thinking.
Wishful?
"I was not your first choice," Kita says, shaking his head and pulling away from the prince's hold. His face is warm, and he tries to ignore it. "Your mom made that clear."
"My mom," Alexis says, tone slightly deeper, "hears what she wants to."
Kita meets his eyes again. Everything about Alexis right now is genuine, but Kita still finds himself doubting that. Surely Eve wouldn't lie to him about her son's feelings like that. Then again, it didn't sound like she was being particularly truthful about Alexis' attitude during the dancing incident, so maybe...
Kita needs to move on. He shouldn't be thinking about this. Their marriage is purely for the empire's sake. Nothing more, nothing less.
Alexis leaves pretty quickly after that, the rest of the interaction feeling somewhat natural. When Kita goes to bed for the night, he can almost pretend things are normal again.
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