“Awwwn~❤️ Such a good BEAUTY sleep~❤️”

…

“Why do my ears feel so itchy?”

…

“Hmm?”

…

“...eh…”

…

“EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

“MY MAIDEN EARS!!! Why are they so pointy!?!?!?” Faith pulls, pokes, and prods on her newfangled elflike ears. “And…oh…where did I get this dress~?” She twirls around to admire it.

“Wow…” Faith then ganders far and wide across a beautiful prairie with posies as far as the eye can see. “...am I dreaming?” She flicks her right ear, and it flops around like a rubber band. “Ow! Hmm…maybe not…oh…eh…are these?” Faith picks up one of the cards caught between the dozens of roses. “Playing cards? Hmm…”

A butterfly with scarlet spinel encrusted wings rests on Faith’s nose. She’s in awe of the sparkly jewels before..*A-CHOO*...she sneezes, and off goes the butterfly.

Very peculiar, this place only exists in shades and hues of red and white. Plenty of pink, too!

Faith walks along the rows and rows of daisies and dandelions and plucks a sunflower. It gives off a smidge of heat. “Eh? The flowers?” She puts it on her nose. “Ah~❤️ So warm~❤️ This must be why the ground feels toasty.” Faith brushes the grass between her fingers.

“This land is warm because of yoo~hoo~hoo~yooou!” Two hummingbirds with rosey red feathers swoop in, chirp, and rub against Faith’s cheeks. “Good morning, Princess Faith~🎵” They sing, swirl around her face, and fly away in the blink of an eye.

“Eh…” Faith puts her hand under her chin. “Princess…” Then she puts her hands on her cheeks. “EHHHHHHHHHH!?!?!?!?!?!?!? AM I A-”

*OOF* Faith trips over a rock and smashes her face into a mound of mud.

The sunflower makes a wooden *clack* sound as it lands perfectly straight up on the ground.

Faith pulls her face out of the mud. “What in tarnation? Whoooo just leaves out a rock for lil’ ol’ may to trip ova?” Gunk drips from her pouty face. “Oh, shooot. Eh?” She pinches the sunflower and lifts it. The base of the stalk is a hexagonal tile, which is odd. “Ah, whatever, a sweet country girl can’t think straight like this!”

Faith turns away and notices a nearby ravine. She walks to it while shaking off the mud from the frills of her gown. Faith gets down and scoops up fresh water to wash herself. “Ahhh, so relaxing. Is the water always this warm, too? Or is it because of may~? Hehe.”

Faith stares at her reflection in the water that glistens with the glowing rubies from the ribbon in her hair. “I look just like my drawing…I really am a princess! FINALLY!” She breaks into tears. “This is exactly what I deserve~! My prayers have been answered~!”

…there’s a rustle in the high grass behind her…

Faith is still busy crying. “I’m such a good girl~!”

…there it is again, a doubling rustle in the grass…

As Faith is taking in her princess upgrade, it hasn’t dawned on her yet that the surroundings of the prairies from before have completely changed. Stepping over to that ravine was like stepping into the Stone Age…taller than tall grass…taller than any building tree tops…and pterodactyls swoop the now dark skies above…

Very ominous. This place only exists in shades and hues of black and white...no pink in sight…

Faith stands up. “If I can wish to be a princess, then I wonder what else I can wish for~?” Then she snorts like a pig. “Maybe I can wish for a hot as hell prince with a nice thick bone to play with~❤️” *snort* *snort* Faith drools and turns around. “Oh yeah~❤️”

*boop* An animal bone hits Faith’s forehead.

“...very funny…” Faith holds the bone, but she drops it after looking at what’s in front of her. “KYAAAAAAAAA!!!”

*GROWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLL* It’s a tyrannosaurus rex, and it was the bone-kicking-to-face culprit!

The t-rex grins from ear to ear with ready-to-chow-down-on-princess teeth. “Little pig, little pig, what big boobs you have!” It snarls and snaps its jaws.

“Why I never!” Faith covers herself. “And who are you calling a pig, yew pervasaurus!” *snort* *snort* She gets embarrassed by her own reflexive snorting.

*THRASH* *THRASH* The treetops shake, shudder, and slam all over…

*CRASH* It’s a brachiosaurus, now standing alongside the T-rex. It slowly stretches its neck down with a droning creak to sneer at Faith. Baring its teeth.

“Ain’t choo a herbivore?” Faith raises an eyebrow.

“Just because I don’t eat meat doesn’t mean I can’t MAKE MEAT!” The brachiosaurus exhales with power, and the air from its nostrils blusters and whips Faith’s hair back.

“YUCK!” Faith holds her nose from the foul odor and flaps the air with her other hand.

The brachiosaurus retracts its neck. “How does Piggy Pie sound to you, Mr. Rex?”

“...most delightful…” The t-rex taps its claws together.

“Stop calling lil’ ol’ may a PIGGY!” Faith pouts and stomps her feet. *OINK* She coughs awkwardly and tries to play that one off.

“Just PIE is fine with me!” The t-rex cackles.

“PRINCESS! PIE!” The brachiosaurus stomps with enough force that Faith falls back on her booty.

Faith gulps, helpless, as the dinos draw nearer. “EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!” She closes her eyes.

…then a tiny glowing and fading orb, like a firefly in the dark, twists around Faith’s wrist…

The dinos look at each other perplexed.

…then come several more orbs from behind the dinos and towards Faith…

…each faster than the last…

*SWISH* …each twisting and crackling brighter and hotter than the one before it…

*poof* A ten-sided dice appears above Faith, spinning and rolling.

*boop* It falls comfortably in Faith’s bosom. The number it landed on is a 9…what could that mean?

*POP* *POP* *POP* The firefly-like orbs are now exploding like firecrackers!!!

The dinos squint as they see Faith’s pink palms glow like a rising sun til they are nearly blinded by it!

“STAY AWAY FROM MAY!!!!!” Faith squeals, and out comes a feisty flurry of flame from her hands…

…that roasts the dinos alive! Like it or not, that sure as hell brought back a colorful catalogue of red and white, but sadly no pink.

*BEP* The t-rex and brachiosaurus each puff out a ring of smoke…collapse…and die.

Faith is speechless as she looks at her palms…

“Oh, my! Madam! Are you quite alright~?” A voice calls out to her from the brush.

Faith turns around. “Yes, yes, I’m-”

The voice from the brush is none other than the club-carrying Prince of JungleCLUBS (...and with a face suspiciously similar to the boy that works at the hardware store on River Street…Dee was more perceptive about The Prince’s “design” than Faith is willing to admit). Water and sweat, yeah, yeah, lots of sweat drips from The Prince’s well-toned, hard abs and the even harder club between his legs.

“-a virgin~❤️‍🔥” Faith can’t stop admiring this fine artistry of a club. Every time her nose bleeds, all that is pure is purged from her body.

“A what?” The Prince tilts his head and his tail curves like a question mark. “AH! MADAM YOUR NOSE!”

*snort* *snort* “Oh, don’t mind lil’ oooooooooooooool’ maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~❤️‍🔥 Faith’s eyes roll into the back of her head, and she turns a ghostly pale from the blood loss…

…until finally…

“Sugah~❤️‍🔥” *THUD* Faith is out cold.

-CHAPTER END-