December 20th, 2019

The tart was forgotten on his plate.

His brain was scrambling to make excuses for him to leave, to flee.  Anything that would make this conversation stop. Anything from Kate finding out. And running away seemed like the only way left. It was something that he was good at, wasn't he? 

Beth waved her hand, the wrinkles around her carob eyes indicating just how much she was enjoying seeing Nith squirm in his seat.

"All are good. I enjoyed them well. Though the one that I like was a bit problematic."

Nith looked down at his plate. The tart sat there, staring at him with all of its sinful chocolaty goodness. But his appetite was gone. This, he realized with bitterness toward the older blonde sitting across him, was how things would end.

Beth had arranged this dinner just to let him know that she knew.

No wonder his mother and Beth were best friends. Their love for theatrics was always too much.

His hands racked through his hair. The three glasses of wine he had throughout the dinner were finally in his system. And his perspective changes. He took another sip, stopping the laughter that was trying to make its way through because of the absurdness of the situation. He wrote a book about her daughter. Let it get out of his hand, sell millions and somehow he expected Beth - the woman who introduced him to reading, who finishes books like wine - to not know. To not be angry when he made her the villain.

Kate was right when she picked Dodo as his nickname. He really was one.

"Won't you ask which one it is?"

Nith finished his wine. He forced a smile, there was no point crying over spilled milk. He knew this day would come one day. It might as well be now. "I am sure I already know. But I'm always happy to receive criticism."

"Hmm ... I am sure you do." She looked right through his buff. "But you can hardly call it a criticism. Though I am curious if you would still call it criticism when they find out and decide to ask you regarding that. Knowing their temper, it won't be just a simple conversation. Like this." Beth smiled at him.

A very mean version of Kate.

Kate placed her glass on the table, loudly. "Mother, that's enough for now."

"I wonder if you would still say that after finding out Katie."

A silence followed as the mother-daughter engaged in a stare war. Blue eyes bored into carob ones.

The maids stood in their place, glancing at each other awkwardly while they tried to figure out if this would be a good time for them to leave or not. They didn't want to be on Beth's radar, not after this. Ian sighed. Someone coughed, probably Lia, almost choking on her glass of water; yet no one gave her a glance. Even Clide had put his newspaper down, his hand on his chin as he watched with his piercing blue eyes whatever his wife was stirring up.

"Do you really want to do this now?" Kate asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about, darling." She glanced at Nith. "I haven't done anything yet."

"Mot-"

"I will tell her myself." Nith looked her directly in the eyes. "When the time is right."

"And when will this right time come?"

"Soon."

Beth laughed, it was humorless and cold. "Nithan," her voice mimicked the coldness. Nith didn't look back down. "It has been eight years. Your concept of time seemed very different from ours."

"Beth ..." Lia shifted beside her dad.

"Don't worry Ian. I am not scolding your son." The maid topped her glass with more wine as she spoke. "That right belongs to someone else." She glanced at Kate, then back at Nith. "I am just curious about what he intends to do about it. I would have asked him some other time, but Nithan never visits."

"I will-"

Kate sighed, cutting off Nith. With a forced smile on her lips. "Your ice cream is melting, Mother."

"It seems so." But she didn't make any attempt whatsoever to finish the now liquefying pecan goodness.

Kate's phone rang, breaking the heavy silence that had settled once more. The glaring contest that was about to begin again was over as she got up from her seat to take the call.

The maids took this opportunity to leave, closing the door behind them with a thud.

Beth sipped her wine as if the last fifteen minutes of back and forth didn't happen. Lia fidgeted in her seat, staring at both Nith and Beth. Clide started to organize his newspaper as Ian finished off his drink. They both knew this wasn't the end, as did Nith.

The author gulped down his glass of wine, pouring more into it. He wanted to be ready just in case Beth wanted to go for round two.

A minute later, Kate walked back in; the soles of her heels clicked softly on the softwood plant floor, announcing her arrival. Her phone was still in her hand as she sat down in her chair. A light smile appeared on her face.

"Everything ok?" Nith asked.

"Oh yeah." She glanced at him, the smile widening. "My manager just called. Remember, I told you about that movie that wanted me when we met at Rens? Well," - she took a sip of her wine as she continued - "they just sent the script and a contract. Wants me to sign it as soon as possible. They want to start production by February."

"That's great. Congratulations!"

Kate nodded, clinking her glass with his. "Thank you."

Lia clapped as the others joined in to congratulate her.

"Should I ask the kitchen to make us something sweet to celebrate?"

"That won't be necessary, Dad." Kate took her fork, cutting a slice of her cake. The ice cream had melted into the cake but she didn't mind. "We have this cake right here." She looked at Nith. "It smells great." She was trying to change the atmosphere before it went back to before. Kate was never the one to initiate a fight unless it was a physical one. "I hope it tastes like how it did yesterday."

"Nith spent the whole day making it." Lia glanced between Kate and Beth, cutting a bit for herself. "It tastes exactly like mom's carrot cake, doesn't it Aunt Beth?"

"Like Ann's?" the older blonde tsked, cutting a little piece to take a bite. All eyes were on her as she ate. "How?" Beth asked, her spoon frozen mid-air.

Clide took a bite; his eyes widened. Ian smirked, shaking his head as he finished the last piece on his plate.

Beth took another spoonful.

Ann was a great baker who would always experiment with different recipes. Beth and later Ian would become her lab rats to slot through the good from the bad. The carrot cake was a specialty of hers. One that she never shared the recipe with anyone, always complaining that it had to be her. But before her passing, she wrote the recipe for Beth in a note.

A note Beth never received.

The earlier tension in the air vanished, replacing it with something somber. Nith's hand went through his copper hair as he looked around. Everyone, even Clide, was looking at him except for Beth.

"I just ... made it how I saw her make it once. Totally winged it?" He looked over at Kate, hoping she would join in explaining. But she just shrugged at him eating her cake. "Kate wanted to eat it. So I just tried a few times. Nick probably would have done a better job."

"Nith spent the whole last week making carrot cakes until he got it right," Lia added.

"I wrote down the recipe. It's inside the box so ..."

"Good," Beth said, cutting him off.

The conversation ended there as Beth silently finished her piece before leaving the room.

A silent end to a very complicated meal.

The maids moved them to the tearoom next to the end of the west wing. With a dome-shaped ceiling and outer walls made of glass. During spring they would open the glass doors, letting the air and the smell of flowers in.

This was Nith's favorite part of this house.

This was the place where he first realized that he had fallen in love with Kate. And on one spring afternoon with golden light coming through the glass walls, when the smell of the flowers in the garden filled the air; at the young age of thirteen, he told Kate just that. She laughed at him, telling him how terrible of a joke it was. And that was the end of it.

Kate walked past him, her shoulder-length hair curled at the end, falling on top of her short-sleeved navy blue dress. She leaned beside him by the fireplace. Her perfume swirled around him. He closed his eyes, breathing in.

"Hey, psst," she whispers in a low voice. Her blue eyes sparkled. "Follow me." She motioned to him, slipping through the back door. Nith glanced at the others before following her out.

It was an old memory that he seemed to have forgotten. Always slipping to the back garden whenever their mothers would meet up for their tea parties. Playing next to the old swings, collecting bugs, or gathering wildflowers for the bees.

Reminiscing ... Nith seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

Kate's heels clicked on the stone pathway as they walked into the garden. The lavender that Nith had smelled when he first walked into the driveway was now in front of him. Most had already bloomed and withered away, but a few stubborn ones still held their place, releasing their light fragrance into the night.

"Don't mind what Mother said. You know how she is." Kate turned toward him, walking backward. "But what was she bullying you with? Did you do something?" She tilted her head, waiting for him to answer.

Nith shook his head. "It was nothing."

"Hmm," she hummed. "Swings?" Kate asked, pointing at the old swing set at the edge. "Sit." Kate patted the swing to her left. The swing on the right was hers because she was always right.

Nith chuckled, joining her. The hinges groaned under his weight as he sat on the rust-covered seats. "Hope it doesn't break."

"It won't." She kicked off her shoes. "When was the last time we were both here?" Kate questioned, propelling - or trying to - herself off the ground. It barely moved in contrast to Kate's excitement. The rusted swing cried screeching.

Nith stood up from his place standing behind her; he gently pushed her. The metal creaked, sending her up.

"The day before you left for college."

"Yeah ..." She went quiet.

The rusty shackles groaned each time Nith pushed Kate's swing. The cold December air blew softly. When he looked down, he could see the goosebumps over Kate's arms. His fingers barely touched her skin through the open space left by her dress. He looked away, gently pushing her swing.

"Why didn't you come?" she asked after a few beats.

Her voice was so faint that Nith thought he had imagined it to begin with. But she then looked back at him, waiting for him to answer and Nith realized that she deserved to know the truth. At least some of it.

"I got another letter, with a full scholarship." His hand rested on her back, his fingers a ghost over her skin. Nith pushed the swing up. "You know, we were struggling back then. Paying off Mom's medical bill and the funeral. Nick's college and the national team training. I just didn't want to be a burden to Dad."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or any of us? We could have helped."

"I know. I just wanted to do this on my own, you know. Like you."

Kate nodded, somewhat understanding his reasoning. "Wish you had just," her voice trembled, "told me instead of cutting me off like that."

Nith lets go of the swing in panic, walking in front of her. Her head hung low as her sun-kissed hair hid her face underneath it. He kneeled down before her. His fingers fidgeted, not knowing where to place them.

"I know." He gently lifted her chin to meet her eyes, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But I didn't know how to tell you. I felt ashamed and ..." He shrugged as if that would explain every thought that went through his mind over the last nine years.

Kate nodded again. "Never do this again." She clasped her hand with his. "But you can't do something like this again. You can't make a decision for both of us."

Nith inclined. "Kate ..." A pause. His thumb ran across her finger, her smooth skin setting his nerves on fire. He brushed over it again like an addict. His voice low as he spoke, "There is something I have to tell you."