James’ POV

Hell was honestly the best way to describe my next few days. My father claimed he was going to send me there and it appeared that he was successful.

The hardest part was finding a place to stay. It had been dark already by the time my dad made me leave so for a long time I just wandered around aimlessly hoping to find a place to at least hide out until morning but that seemed to be an impossible task. All of the good places were either already taken or too in the middle of town; cops wouldn’t hesitate to run me off the second I made myself comfortable somewhere so I just kept walking. 

For a while I thought about just going to Dev’s but I quickly shoved that out of my mind. I had seen the slight hurt that flashed through his eyes when I told him to leave, not to mention that my father physically hurt him. I knew he wasn’t going to want to see me right now so there was no point in even trying. 

There was a homeless shelter nearby but I wasn’t that desperate yet and didn’t feel like taking a bed from someone who would need it more than me. Besides, I’m only 17. They aren’t going to let a minor just stay there without getting social services involved so no way I was going there until I couldn’t live without it. 

After hours of looking and with the sun slowly starting to peak over the horizon I found a place that was most certainly not fit for human living.

The roof was caved in and the windows were boarded up but the door behind the back was unlocked and the old, water damaged house didn’t appear to have any other occupants staying in it. The water didn’t work and the old walls did little to keep the cold out but it was water proof and enclosed so it was ready 1000 times better than any other place I had seen today. 

All the furniture was too gross to sleep on so I simply tossed my duffle bag onto the ground and used it as a pillow as I laid with my back against the wall just in case someone came in while I was asleep.

I didn’t want to think about it but my mind kept wandering back to Devon. I loved him more than anything else in this world yet I wouldn’t be able to have him now. His house was too close to my father’s and I do believe he’d kill me if he saw me again so my time with Dev seemed to be done despite him being the first and best thing to ever wander into my shithole of a life. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him but I knew it had to happen anyway. 

My heart squeezed at the thought as tears streamed down my face; flashes of my new life without him played behind my eyes as I slept, leaving a hole in my heart when I woke up only a few hours.

It was almost noon when I forced myself out of my new hiding place. The old house was on the edge of town, not even a few feet away from the city line that my father threatened to kill for crossing. Close enough to be reminded of home, far enough away to keep him from seeing me. The perfect compromise. 

I grabbed my duffle bag, not trusting it to still be there when I came back later and walked out of the nearly broken back door that I had found last night. 

The walk felt longer than it had the night before and was filled with anxious thoughts. I knew my father would drink himself into a stupor last night and it would be impossible for him to be awake and righteous right now but that didn’t help the nerves that pitted together in my stomach. 

A quick trip. I reminded myself for the 30th time since I began the walk. You’ll be in and out before anyone even notices you’re there. 

Well, anyone other than Dev. 

The thought was not as comforting as I had hoped it would be. 

When I managed to get to his house, I didn’t bother with the front door. His parents never liked me. I was trash beneath their privileged feet and in their opinion, Dev needed better friends; friends that lived in the same tax bracket as them. If they saw me at the door, looking bruised, bloody, and filthy they’d turn me away without a second thought. 

Instead went to Dev’s window; the only room on the ground floor, seemingly perfect for the son they never wanted and tried their best to forget about. 

My nails tapped softly on the glass, praying to god that he wouldn’t answer. That I could just go back to my new home and forget all about the boy I loved but seconds later the curtains were pulled away and the window was harshly opened. 

“Oh so you have time to come visit a ‘plaything’. I didn’t figure I’d be worth the time of day,” he spat out, anger clear in his voice until his eyes roamed my body. I knew I had to look like shit but the look in his eyes as he took in my battered body hurt so much more than any bruise. “What the fuck did he do to you,” he shrieked, his hands coming to gently cup my face. I let him, knowing it was going to be the last time I felt his skin again mine. 

“I got kicked out,” I sighed, cursing myself as I leaned into the touch. “I knew it’d happen eventually just didn’t expect it to be so soon.”

“He did a lot more than just kick you out,” Dev pointed out as his thumb brushed against the hand print shaped bruise on my throat. “Where did you sleep last night?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I said as I forced myself to take a step away from him. The hurt look that covered his face briefly was enough to remind me of the reason I was here. “Listen, I can’t be seen around here anymore. He made some pretty serious threats last night and I think he’d go through with them so I’m leaving.” Confusion covered his face for a split second before acceptance fled his face. 

“Okay. If that’s what’s safest I support that.” My heart broke at the words. I wanted him to put up a fight. I wanted him to want me as much as I wanted him but it’s clear that wasn’t the case. “Where are you going to be? I’ll come visit whenever I can. I can bring food and wash your clothes here. If the weather gets too bad I can sneak you in here.” 

“I can’t come back here Devon. Ever. I’m risking enough coming right now. I just came to tell you that it’s over. We’re done. It didn’t feel right to leave with no excuse so that’s it.” I took a step back ready to bolt before he even had a chance to process my words but his hand caught my wrist before I had the chance.

“Now you hold on one goddamn second,” he spat out as he wiggled out the window awkwardly, his grip still on my wrist. “The fuck you mean this is it?”

“I mean we’re done. I’m breaking up with you. Go fuck the hot guy at the mall; I know he’s been eyeballing you. Just move on. It won’t be that hard for me either. I saw this cute girl on the way back today. Could try with her, you could have mall guy. We can pretend this never happened.” I wanted to stay strong; to bullshit way out of this but my heart broke with every word that tumbled out of my mouth. 

“No.”

“What do you mean no? I’m not saying has to be mall guy. You could have anyone in town and you know-,”

“I mean no. We aren’t done. You’re not breaking up with me, I’m not breaking up with you, we are still dating.”

“I don’t think you get to decide what I do,”

“I think I get to decide more than you considering you’re clearly out of your goddamn mind.” The concerned look he had early was replaced with an overly annoyed expression as if I just stole his drink rather than attempted to break up with him. 

“Dev I don’t know what you want from me. I can’t stay in town and you can’t leave so this has to happen.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said matter of factly as stepped back to his window, pulling me in with him as if it were no big deal.

“Come again?”

“I’ll come with you. Then we won’t have to break up.”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind,” I have to keep myself from all but screaming at him. 

“Not at the moment but I’ll let you know if that changes,” he said as he walked over to his closet and began emptying his school bag. 

“I’m not letting you come with me.”

“Why not?”

“You have a family Dev. They may not be the best but they don’t beat you, you have all the food you want, the ceiling doesn’t leak and the second those old geezers die you have a trust fund that will set you up for life. You won’t have to work a single day in your life if you don’t want to. I’m not going to let you throw that away!”

“You’re worth ten trust funds to me.” He said plainly as he began taking clothes off his hangers, folding them neatly, and placing them in the bag by his feet.

“Not eleven?”

“Eleven’s pushing it,” he teased, still not bothering to look up from his job. I let a sigh push past my lips as I come to sit down beside him, my hand coming to rest on top of his, making him stop and stare at me.

“We’ll be living on the streets,” I point out.

“Just like camping.”

“We’re going to go hungry most nights. They don’t give jobs out to homeless high schoolers.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“I’m living in a condemned house that no human should ever step foot in.”

“It’s better than a dumpster.”

“I’ll live in a dumpster if it keeps you here,” I say in complete honesty. 

“Do you love me,” he asked softly. His eyes stared down at our conjoined hands. 

“Well I don’t hate you.”

“No jokes James. Do you love me? Yes or no? Because I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life and if eating out of dumpsters and living in gross houses keep me with you then I’ll still manage to be the happiest man alive because at the very least I’ll still have you. But if you don’t feel the same way, and don’t think fighting for us is worth it, then I’ll let you break up with me. I’ll continue living in a house with people who wished I was never born, with friends who are only with me for the money, and grow up to own a law firm like my dad plans for me. But no matter how my life goes, with you or with a future I never wanted, I always think about the day James Pierce came to my window and told he me he was leaving me behind. I can either look back at with joy thinking about the love of my life decided I was worth keeping or I can think of nothing but the most intense heartbreak of my life. So, do you love me; yes or no?”

It could be so easy. A simple two letter word would solve all my problems and keep Dev safe and pampered for the rest of his life. No. Just the thought of the word made tears well up in my eyes. 

“Yes. Yes Dev I love you so much it fucking hurts. I love you so much I can’t imagine putting you through the shit show that is my life. I don’t want to ruin you.”

I couldn’t see him through the tears in my eyes but his gentle hands wipe the tears away as a kiss is pressed against my forehead. 

“You won’t ruin me James. I won’t let you.”

“You can’t possibly know that,” I sighed through the tears, trying to keep my breathing remotely even in hopes I could chase the tears away. 

“No, I don’t. But I know you James. You won’t allow yourself to ruin me. You’re too good James. Too pure even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“I love you Devon. I love you so much.”

“Then let me come with you.”

The two of us climbed out Dev’s window an hour later, hand in hand as I lead him to our new home.

Last updated July 16, 2023