Dinner was nice, and Gideon was far more interested in what we were eating this time around. He had lots of questions and chatted up our personal hostess for almost ten minutes about why the food was presented the way it was, what the ingredients were, and he seemed genuinely intrigued.

While we ate, he asked me about the food I grew up with and we talked about that for a while, exchanging holiday stories, and when we were done we walked around a little bit more.

When I tried to slip my hand into the back pocket of his jeans and he took that hand to use it to drag me into a shop, I became suddenly painfully aware of how little physical affection he was giving me, had been giving me since our conversation after I gave him the sweater he never took off.

Outside whatever actual bed were were in together, there was no groping, the kisses were chaste, and he always kept his body at a respectable distance.

And that hurt.

While he was looking around at hats I had to excuse myself to the bathroom because I became so overwhelmed with panic. Like most standard novus bathrooms, the one in the shop had a cooling station where you were able to stick your head under a cold stream of water, and I probably spent ten minutes under there trying to center myself.

But I got caught up in a cycle, and I hand to brace both hands against the wall and scratch at the tiles with my claws until I could calm myself.

I was gone for maybe an hour, and when I came out Gideon was sitting on the floor across from the bathroom door, waiting. I apologized, said I wasn’t feeling to well, and he said that it was okay.

And that we should end the date there.

I told him we should watch a movie together, but once we got to the hotel, he told me I should probably head back to my apartment and get some rest.

“I’m going to hit the gym for a couple hours, work out some...frustrations.” He said as I walked him to his door.

I hesitated before I braced a hand against the wall by where he was leaning. “Are you sure you don’t want to work them out with me?” I said, trying to sound coy but coming off a little bit desperate.

He shook his head before he gave me a quick peck on the lips. “Nah – go home and get some sleep, babe. I’ll be fine – I can be independent.” He teased, patting my chest before he opened his door and quickly went inside, closing it on my face without so much as a look back.

I sat parked outside for several minutes before I went back to the courting district and got him that jacket he had been so excited about, hoping that might breath a little bit of life into Gideon’s dimming flame of desire for me.

When I went into his hotel room it was empty, but the sweatpants he used for the gym, usually hung over the back of the chair by the window, were gone, so I knew he was down in the hotel’s gym.

I hesitated as to where to put his jacket, looking around the hotel room I had seen so little of in the past two weeks. Mostly we had been staying at my apartment, and if were were here, we were either in bed or laying in the bathtub together.

After a thought I remembered that the hotel had a closet, though I hadn’t seen it to know how much space he had in it.

I went over and pulled open the door to his closet, pausing when I suddenly saw several rows of neon color squares on the back of the door – the sticky notes I had bought him at the student store at Liliport U two weeks ago, but also lighter colored ones and ones with the cartoon insignia of the matriarch of Greater Lakes.

There were smiley face sticky notes everywhere with short messages on them, mostly instructions on how to operate the electronics in his room and my apartment, but also few bible passages. There was a line of perfectly lined bright yellow notes and as I read them the knot that had sat heavily in the pit of my stomach finally lessened and I smiled with a little gasp.

‘Going to school to be dentist’, ‘likes to eat fish’, ‘Has brother named Roy with several children, family is otherwise elsewhere in Victoria’, ‘will give coat if I look cold’, ‘kissing>sex, cuz can’t cum yet’ ‘likes fish’ ‘loves to cuddle’ ‘try not to make feel guilty cuz he gets intrusive thoughts of guilt’ ‘VERY on time to everything, usually early by a lot’ ‘likes it when I wear stuff that show off my arms’ ‘doesn’t like the smell of lavender?’ ‘likes names for kids based on book characters’ ‘focus on other things that sex cuz he thinks that’s all I like about him’ ‘keep it primary school cool, no public displays of affection or molestation cuz he’s shy <3’.

He was taking notes on me.

I laughed a little at that, fingering one before I saw that the entire back wall from ceiling to floor of the closet was covered in neatly arranged notes.

Each had what looked like a page number on the bottom as well as well as a name, and it took me a few minutes before I saw that, under a pillow on the shelf, there was a stack of books.

Books about sapiens seducing novus, most about building relationships with novus men in particular, two on how to be a productive and mature adult in a civilized world.

I frowned at the sight of one in particular – not a book, but a glossy magazine. I tugged it free and looked it over.

What would Gideon want with an advice magazine geared toward teenage girls? I figured he must have found it at the home of the cousin he was staying with, but it smelt very strongly of him, like he had read it thoroughly and often. I went to carefully tuck the magazine back between the two books it was between, but paused when I saw a sticky note with a smiley face sticking out of the top.

Curious, I pulled it back, opening the magazine to the page the sticky note was on.

‘How to Snag a Novus Mate in Five Easy Steps’.

My eyebrows lifted and I laughed a little, my gaze dropping to a passage with another sticky note by it, this one covered in hearts and an aggressively drawn arrow pointing at the passage.

‘Make sure the novus courting you knows that you have other options: Jealously and the feeling of their position being threatened will often drive a novus to take the next step in the relationship if they are anxious about making the final leap into settling down for good’. It talked about mentioning how others flirted with you (even if they didn’t) and how others complimented you on things you wanted the novus you liked to notice (if they didn’t notice it themselves yet).

I frowned at that, realizing how often Gideon would mention pretty much just that when he talked about others – ‘this guy complimented my ass, this guy complimented my hair, this guy said I had a great smile!’

And suddenly it all became very obvious as to why it was only my scent on him, even though he seemed to be flirting with others.

He was only doing it when he knew I was there to watch and he could gauge my reaction to try and do things to make me jealous.

I laughed a little, getting a pen from my jacket to carefully underline where it read ‘ this method has the risk of backfiring by making the novus think you aren’t interested, so be prepared for the novus to also withdraw their affection and accept that you might not be interested.’ I wrote in the margin of the page ‘flirting with others can also hurt your novus’s feelings’ and then ‘but a novus can also be too dense to notice a sapien’s true feelings, so sometimes you have to get creative with courting them’. I underlined that last one. And then added a smiley face and a heart.

There was another passage that read ‘play up uselessness. Novus like to think they are the smartest, more capable things on the planet.’, Gideon’s hand writing next to it reading ‘Laurie thinks it adorable that I can’t use or understand my comm, don’t let him see I know how to use the online place.’

I snorted and closed the magazine, tucking it back between the books, chuckling.

Cute.

I was so glad I decided to get him that jacket.

It really helped cleared up so much.

I had never felt so sure that Gideon was just as interested in me as I was him, and that this wasn’t just him being horny, or desperate for affection.

He liked me, honestly and purely.

I looked back to the notes and saw that for each quote, there was another sticky note behind them. I carefully lifted the note reading ‘Novus sometimes need verbal cues to know if you are comfortable during sex, so be decisive and direct with communication. Pg34, Johnson & Lightway’, under that one another sticky note reading ‘doesn’t respond to faster, harder, meaner, bite-me, slap me. Will respond to slower, deeper.’

I laughed a little and leaned back on my heels.

So…

Maybe I had been reading this all wrong and Gideon was...very much into me.

Maybe even from the start.

And I had let my insecurity get the best of me.

My heart swelled at that and I pushed a hand through my hair.

It was time to end this game – I needed to tell him that I realized I had been silly, and that I hadn’t respected his ability to know what he was feeling. I jumped to conclusions, I let my guilt and low self-esteem get ahead of me, and I wanted us to get back on track.

I wanted us to mate…

And I think he wanted that as well, and not just because he was lonely, or because he didn’t know better.

But because...he loved me like I loved him.

I picked up on Gideon’s distinct gait then, listening as his hurried steps raced out of the elevator to come down the hall. I came out of the closet and closed the door to go to the bathroom, hanging up the jacket on the back of the door there before I turned to wash my hands, staying there as I heard the door open.

“Laurie?!” I heard Gideon shout, breathless. He must have seen my van from the window in the gym.

“In here!” I called, turning off the water. “I wanted to drop off a present for you, I hope you don’t mind I let myself in.”

“Not a p-” I heard him start moving things around, “Not a problem!” He said in a hurried tone, dragging what I was sure was the large sitting chair by the windows over to block the closet. “Um, sorry for the mess!”

“Oh, I didn’t pay it much attention. I just came right into the bathroom…” Which was pretty messy, actually, and I had just cleaned it yesterday for him. There were at least five wrappers from samples that looked like beauty treatments – some for hair, some for the skin, one for teeth. I smiled, amused as he came in suddenly and starting to quickly throw away the trash on the counter and kick the dirty clothes into the shower to hide behind the curtain. He whipped around to give me a sheepish smile. I got the jacket I brought from where I hung it on the back of the bathroom door, opening it. “Let me see if it fits.”

His head fell back as he laughed shortly, sounding amused as he lowered his chin to look at me. “You got it, you stink!” He teased as he turned, letting me put the jacket on.

I smoothed my hands down the soft leather on his back, reaching around to embrace him from behind and kiss his cheek. “Beautiful.” I mumbled against his skin, kissing his jaw. “I’m just going to use the restroom and then I have to go, but I’m glad it fits you.” I pulled back and he turned to give me a fond look. “It suits you!”

“Thanks…” He swallowed thickly. “Um, are you going to come over later today, or?”

“I’ll come over.” I said with a nod, pulling him forward by his coat to kiss him, Gideon smiling a little. “I’ll bring over that toy we ordered at the love hotel. It came in the mail while I was at school.”

“Or we could watch that show you were talking about wanting to see.” He said quickly.

“Or we can have sex.” I added just as quickly.

“Or we could eat!” He laughed, looking nervously.

I laughed a little, finally recognize that he was and had been desperately trying to prove he was into the same things I was, not rejecting my advances. He wanted to show me that we were more than just a sexual relationship, and my heart soared at that.

He was such a sweet man.

I was so, so lucky to have him.

I hummed and pulled him in for a kiss again, walking him back to pin him to the wall as I pried his mouth open with mine. He melted in it, but just as I felt him getting hard, he snapped back from our kiss and squirmed out from between me and the wall, looking nervous.

“Go on and get some sleep, haha!” He laughed, touching the front of his jacket before he reached down to readjust himself in his pants. “I’m going to t-take a shower and I’m shy!” He said in a cutesy tone, shielding his groin with one hand and his face with the other.

I laughed at that. “I’ll come by at ten. Take a nap...we’re going to go on a very romantic date when I come to pick you up.” I said with a lift in my chin.

“Mmm-hm!” He said with a tight smile. “Okey dokey!”

I grinned and gave him a little wave before I left, feeling lighter than I’ve felt in years.

Studying had been a bit of a struggle recently, but when I got to my apartment, I took notes with ease, humming all the while.

Gideon called about two hours after I last seen him and I wondered if he had caught on that I knew what he had been doing.

“H-hey!” Gideon greeted with a nervous, forced laugh, “How’s it going?”

“Oh, fine,” I said mildly around my smile, rubbing my eyes as I set aside my pen, “How are you?”

“Good, good – um, I just – you know – I wanted to know what you were up to, and wanted to know if we could meet up sooner than ten tonight. I miss you.” He said quickly in an anxious tone.

I bet he read what I wrote in his magazine. I grinned.

“Hm, well I’m just studying, but I could use a break….”

“Great!”

“Where are you?”

“At my hotel room, but I can come over there!” He said quickly. “I remembered how to get there. I can walk – fast!”

“No, no. I’ll come to you. I’ll be there in twenty minutes if I don’t take my medicine until I get there…” I smiled as he quickly said to wait to take my medicine, “I’ll need to take a little nap when I get there then.”

“That’s fine – we can cuddle and watch tv!”

I laughed as I stood. “Alright, let me just get a bag together and then I’ll head over. Just sit tight and read and focus on your own note taking.”

“Laurieeee,” Gideon groaned. “You DID see them! AND MY NOOOOOOOOOOOTES!” He screamed.

I laughed. “I’ll be there shortly.”

“I’ll meet you down in the lobby.” He mumbled, crying dramatically.

“Alright, bye.”

“Bye!”

I grinned as I hung up my comm, holding it to my chin.