Laying in my bed, I heard Vito come in well before he reached out to wake me up, the smell of food coming in the room with him. He hesitated at first, before he shook me, and I rolled over and looked at him. 

“Oh, you’re already awake,” he said. 

“Yeah.” I muttered before stretching out, remembering that I stripped down and slipped into the sheets. I waited a moment to see if Vito was going to leave the bedroom. When he didn’t, I didn’t even flinch to pull the blankets off. Vito had seen everything to do with my body, as it was. There was nothing he hadn’t. 

Standing up, I walked to the dresser, pulling out just a long sleeve to cover my torso, and a pair of boxers. I felt Vito’s eyes on me as I pulled them on, but he said nothing, so I didn’t feel the need to address it. 

“What did Alessio say about your ribs?” I asked as I followed him out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen. 

“Just to take it easy, and he gave me pain medication.”

“Alright.”

“He also wants you to come see him first thing tomorrow when you wake up.”

“I’ll pass.” I muttered. I didn’t want to be poked at my Alessio just yet. 

“How long have you had your memories back, Ilya?”

“I don’t have them back. I just have some of them. They come in waves, and I don’t want to talk about them, Vito. I’ve been ignoring them for some time. I intend to keep doing just that.”

He sighed, before he got out my night time pills, and I double checked the clock. It was only seven. 

“Why are you giving me my pills so early?”

“Why are you questioning me, Ilya?”

“One, because I can. And two, because you never give me my pills this early.”

“I’m sore, and tired. I want to go to bed at a decent time.” Vito said, as he set the pills on the table, and went to get us both each a serving of the food he had made. 

“If you’re sore and tired, you don’t need to wait on me, Vito. I’ll manage without—---”

“My wing, and Alessio and Matteo say very different things about that.” He said, flatly. 

“That’s different!” I snapped. My temper was getting the better of me, and his words were getting under my skin. “You can’t compare the two!”

He sighed and shook his head. “Look, I’m not trying to make you mad. I just think you should take a step back and look at the situation objectively. There are similarities between the two, and you should be able to see that, Ilya.”

“One night, when I know where you are is wildly different from a week of you missing. Not sure if you're alive or dead, Vito! Keep it up, and I’ll——-”

“You’ll what Ilya? Bite me? Hit me? You’ve done it all before.” He said, setting the two plates on the table. He sat down, and I watched him. “Hitting you is the last thing I want to do, Vito.” I said, standing up.

“Sit down, Ilya.” Vito said, and I deliberately walked away from the table. I didn’t want to be around Vito right now.

“You should go home Vito, back to your wing.”

“Are you fucking serious?” He said, his anger rearing its ugly head.

“Yeah, you're in pain, and I just think I’m going to take my pills and go to bed.”

“Eat your dinner and I’m taking you to see Alessio and Dr Martin first thing in the morning.”

“Vito, I asked you to leave.”

“And if I refuse, what then, Ilya?”

“Why the fuck can’t you just leave, Vito?” I snapped, and walked over, grabbing him by the shirt, feeling angry. Instead of hitting him, or biting him. I leaned down and pressed my fucking lips to his. He was surprised and stiffened in my grasp. He didn’t kiss me back, either.

When I finally pulled away, I let go of his shirt and stepped back, looking away, feeling ashamed.

“You should go.” I muttered, my cheeks hot with embarrassment, and I felt stupid. He stood up and grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and I watched him leave. His dinner was on the table, a few bites gone, because he left it behind. My heart was racing and my stomach was in knots.

I wanted to call him, to tell him how sorry I was and that I didn’t mean any of it. My words and the kiss. But I didn’t. I just sat there, my heart heavy and my eyes stinging. I had just chased away the one person I cared about most in this world.

If Vito didn’t come back, or acted differently towards me after this, it would be my fault. That thought alone made it hard to sleep, and I tossed and turned all night long in bed.

I woke up at five, and waited for three hours for Vito to come back this morning, so I could apologize, but it was Alessio who came this morning, not him.

“Hey you're up early.” He said, looking at the table, last night’s dinner plates, and my pills still all sat there. “Did something happen last night with you and Vito?”

“Clearly, He’s not here, you are.” I said.

“He wanted to catch up on paperwork, or that’s what he told me, so I came to check to see if you were awake. I wasn’t aware something happened last night. He never told me.”

“Why would he tell you I kissed him? He clearly wasn’t a fan.”

“You kissed Vito?” Alessio asked.

“Are you deaf? Or did you conveniently ignore the part where I said I fucking kissed him?” I yelled, not even looking at him, and not looking at the door as it opened. I was feeling pent up.

“Ilya, we don’t speak to people that way.” I looked over the top of the couch to see Vito coming in, a stack of paperwork in his hand. “Alessio, you can head out. I’ll bring him to you once he’s medicated and fed.”

“Try to have a better day, Ilya.” Alessio said, before he left. Vito set down his paperwork and cleaned up.

“Ilya, why didn’t you take your medication last night?”

“I went to bed.”

“Did you get any sleep?”

“Very little.”

“I’ll make you breakfast, and then you can take your medication and have a nap.”

I nodded and come to sit at that table. Vito didn’t so much as look up at me while he did his paperwork, little by little. I sat here, mulling over what I could say to make this less awkward. Finally, I just settled on ‘I’m sorry’. After I said it, it was like he didn’t hear a single thing I said, and I was pissed.

I stood up, ready to leave the table again in anger, and Vito spoke. “Take your meds before you storm away, in anger, Ilya.”

I would have said I was doing no such thing, but I balled my fists up at my sides, and I was wearing a look of anger.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” I replied, my voice tight. Still just standing there, debating my next move.

“It doesn’t look like nothing,” he said. “Your fists are clenched and you look angry. Like you're going to storm away, Ilya.” He said, all without even looking at me again.

“I’m not doing anything,” I said. “I’m just frustrated with this situation.”

“The situation?” He asked, playing dumb with me.

“The kiss. The fucking kiss Vito.”

“Hmm.” Was all he said, not even words, just a fucking sound, and it broke me. I reached across the desk and yanked his papers away, and threw them towards the living room in a fit of anger.

“Do you feel better now, Ilya?” He said.

Looking at the scattered papers on the floor, I didn’t feel any better, a little worse actually. I sighed loudly, throwing my hands up before going to start picking up the scattered papers.

“Do you want to go speak to Dr Martin?”

“No.”

“Ilya, whatever this is, we need to sort it out.”

I had every urge to tell him this wasn’t a ‘we’ problem, this was a ‘me’ problem, and solving it would make one of us extremely uncomfortable. But I just smiled and kept my thoughts to myself. He came over and reached for the papers on the floor, and I shoved him onto the couch. Forgetting about his ribs, until he hissed out in pain.

“Ilya, what the hell!”

“Sorry! I forgot about——-”

“Save it!” He yelled, angry, and holding his ribs. He was fully stretched out on the couch, not moving. Just clenching his teeth in annoyance with me. I felt bad, but I wasn’t sure what to say to him that would make this any better.

“I’ll call Alessio and let him know I hurt you.” I muttered, before heading to the bedroom to grab my phone. I dialled the phone and walked back out to the living room.

“Can I have the phone?” Vito said, and I passed him the phone. He hung the phone up and hissed as he sat up.

“Vito! what the hell? Your hurt, Alessio is———.”

“I didn’t ask you to call him Ilya. I have it handled.”

“You could be hurt worse and——-”

“Come closer.” Vito said, and I did. He spoke again. “Kneel.”

“Eh?”

“Just do it.”

I trusted Vito, so I got down on my knees. He pulled me further forward and pushed my head down until my cheek was resting on his thigh. His hand was in my hair, but he said nothing. He just played with my hair. After a few minutes, he spoke. “You can move now.”

Sitting like this was a nice way to take a few moments to relax and unwind. It allowed my body to relax and my mind to quiet down, letting any stress and tension fade away. It also offered the opportunity to focus on the present moment, allowing me to appreciate the beauty and peace of the moment. My head resting on Vito’s thigh, his signature scent filling my nose, and pleasing me deeply.

“Ilya, If you want to move, you may.”

“No. It’s soothing. Keep moving your hand.” I said, scooting closer, and resting more of my body weight against him.

“Come up on the couch, Ilya.”

“No, this is fine, the contact is ok, it’s what I want.”

“If you're craving contact, Ilya say something, I can find someone who can give you——-”

I sighed, unable to stop the words before they came out. “And now you’ve ruined it.” I muttered before moving away from him. I sat on the far end of the couch, and he pulled me down in his lap. Not letting me get away from him.