Yelling, and then feeling someone move me, I opened my left eye and came face to face with Vito. He looked less than amused, too. He had tucked himself into the lounge chair next to me and was using my pillow under his head. While my head rested on his arm. I was pretty cozy, and the soft sounds of the rain and Vito’s heartbeat, was enough to put me back to sleep. 

Waking up later, I heard Viktor ratting me out to Vito about being outside in the pouring rain. Vito waited till Viktor was done saying what he was. Before I felt his hand on my back. 

“Are you going to take your pills willingly this morning, or are you going fuck around again?” 

I didn’t say anything. I just let out a deep breath and turned to look at him. 

“When did you wake up?” I muttered.

“Me? When did I wake up? Hmm. Sometime after you took the fuck off and went to play in the thunderstorm.” Vito said, his tone rather rude and cold. 

“I stayed here. I just went outside. Guess you shouldn’t have cut my sleeping pill in half if you wanted me to sleep through the night.” I said, plainly, before closing my eyes again. 

“Get up. You have to take your pills.” 

“Pass.” I muttered, rolling till I was tucked against his chest. If he wanted to play blow for blow, I could do the same. With him only, though. Vito was annoyed with me, and I knew it. So did Matteo, who got some of Vito’s lovely attitude. 

“If you’re just going to stare at me, go elsewhere.” He hissed at his own son. I waited until Matteo was out of the sunroom to poke at him some more. 

“You’re mature.” I muttered. 

“You’re no better.” 

“I’m psychotic. What’s your excuse?” I replied, feeling braver or stupider than usual. I ran my hand up Vito’s chest and set it loosely around the back of his neck. Leaving little space between us, and his sore ribs. I was pretty comfortable like that. I was testing Vito’s limits, seeing how long he would let me keep touching him before he snapped. I wanted to see if I could get him to relax and accept my touch, even if it was just for a moment. I hoped that if I could get him to trust me more, then maybe we could have a proper conversation. About feelings. My feelings. 

“Ilya.”

“Closed for business.” I muttered, tucking my face into his side and his shirt. 

“Get off me.” He huffed. His cool behaviour with me, starting to crack. He shoved me to the floor without warning, grabbing my arm enough to stop me from hitting the floor or my head too hard. 

“So rude.” I complained, laying in my new spot on the floor. I yanked the blanket down on top of me. 

“Get up. You have pills to take.”

I sighed, but stood up. Following Vito out to the kitchen. Matteo was having a discussion with Viktor and my mother about cooking. Vito got me a glass of water, knowing where the cups were and gave me the pills. I picked the sleeping pill out and set it back on the counter. 

“I don’t need to take that one now.”

“Take it anyway.” 

“Sure, do you want me to fall asleep behind the wheel, because I don’t mind dying, but you might.” I replied, and he snatched the pill off the counter and held it.

“I’ll drive.” Vito said. 

“And who the fuck is going to drive my car back, huh!” I yelled, smashing my hand on the countertop, feeling agitated with him. He tossed the pill in the garbage, but not before shooting me a look that was filled with warning. I took the pills and went to go find something else to keep me busy, so Vito didn’t try to kill me himself based on that look. 

In the dining room, my mother, who also witnessed my freakout, was frowning. She and Viktor kept looking at each other the entire time we ate breakfast. Matteo made small talk with me, and I was grateful for him. 

My father finished dinner first. He stood up and spoke. “Ilya, let’s take a walk to the garage and see if we can get your car started and make sure it’s road ready.”

“Ok.” I said, pushing my plate aside. My mother set her fork down and spoke in a panicked voice. 

“Wait! Take Viktor with you too!” I didn’t miss the look on her face. She was worried about me and my behaviour. She feared me. My mother’s fear of me was understandable; I had been struggling with mental health issues for the past few years, and my behaviour had been unpredictable. But this was the first time she had witnessed it. 

“It’s fine. Ilya and I—--”

“I’ll respectfully pass. I’m going to my room. If you don’t get the car started, I’m sure Vito can lend a hand.” I said, wiping my hands on my pants and leaving the dining room. My breakfast was now sitting like a rock in my stomach. 

Back in the bedroom, I got dressed back into yesterday’s clothing, not too worried about whether I looked presentable. The door opened, and my father stood there, his arms crossed. Viktor was nowhere to be seen. 

“Ilya.”

“Yes?”

“I would like it if you could come to the garage with me.”

I looked at him, not sure what to tell him. Swallowing the gross feeling spreading in me, I spoke. “Are you not scared of me, too?”

“Of you? My only biological son? No.”

“Mother doesn’t want you alone with me.” I muttered. Even though I understood why. 

“You’re not a monster, Ilya, you’re sick. You are medicated, and getting better. Or so Alessio tells us. This is the first time we have seen you in over four years. Your mother is hung up on you from before. Not the you that has fought every day to survive both mentally and physically. You’re going to be different. But we will work with that.”

“I can’t take over the family. I—--”

“I know, Ilya. I can see that. Viktor can handle it. He is doing well as the head of the family, and if you want him to have it, it is his. I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I want an alive and healthy son, not a dead one.”

“Viktor is the rightful owner of the title of Don Russo.” I said, not feeling any remorse in letting go. 

“Come to the garage with me, and let’s see if we can get your car started.”

I nodded, following him back down the stairs. 

“Let me grab you something else to change into, so you don’t wreck your clothing.”

“Ok.”

“Ilya?” He said, again, pausing to open the door 

“Yeah?”

“I love you, and I’m happy to see you.” He muttered, before opening the door and heading into the room. Returning a few minutes later with a change of clothing. “I can’t promise they will fit well, but they should fit ok. You can use our room to change.”

I stepped into the room, and changed quickly, feeling uncomfortable in the room. The t-shirt and the jogging pants fit ok after I tightened them. My bare feet made little noise as I left the room to join my father. 

He was waiting in the hallway, and smiled when he saw me. “Let’s go.”

My mother called for my father, but he seemed happy to ignore her for the moment as we walked. He flicked the lights on in the garage and looked down at my feet. He shook his head before he spoke. “At least one thing is the same with you, Ilya.”

“My feet?”

“Yes, your bare feet. From the time you could walk, you’ve preferred bare feet.”

“That sounds about right.” I said, looking at my car. The shiny red and black paint, covered in a layer of dust. I touched it, and the layer of dust was thick. 

“Did anyone drive it?”

“Just Viktor. Viktor wouldn’t let us get rid of it, either. It was the first thing your mother talked about getting rid of. Viktor got pretty upset about it.” My father said, going and grabbing the key. 

“He could have got it a dust cover.” I muttered, taking the key when my father passed it to me. Unlocking the door, it opened with no problem, and the inside was spotless. Pulling the hood lock, I opened the hood and took a look inside. I checked the oil level and the rest of my fluids. 

Looking around the car, when someone whistled, I spotted Matteo, and behind were Vito and Viktor. Probably sent by my mother. 

“Oil and everything should be ok, I had it out a month or two ago.” Viktor said, walking over to the toolbox and pulling out a sheet of paper.

“You didn’t think about getting a dust cover?” I bitched. 

“No.”

I muttered under my breath as I checked the tires. My dad didn’t help, he just watched, and I wondered if this was hard for him, too. I looked at Matteo and said, “Get in and start it.”

“Are you sure? This thing is worth more than I am,” He said flatly. 

“Eh, I doubt that.” 

Vito was frowning as Matteo got in the driver’s seat. The car purred to life, and I smiled, before slamming the hood shut and making all the dust rain down. I walked over to Vito and bumped his shoulder with mine. “Go get in the car, grumpy. Take it for a spin around the property with your son.”

“And you’re going to stay here?” He said flatly. 

“Hardly. I’m going to take one of the other cars through that door.” I said, pointing to another door. I was going after Viktor’s car and he knew it. He was right behind me as I went into the other garage. 

Vito followed us in too, he grabbed my shoulder, and spoke lowly. “When we get back, you’ll tell me how long you’ve been getting your memories back.”