Annoyed by Viktor’s words. I bit my tongue to keep from lashing out anymore. Instead, I looked at Vito. “What did Viktor ask for?” 

“Viktor only asked to have me stop refusing them allowance to see you.” 

“No. I don’t want that.” I lashed out at him, grabbing his wrist and clearly hurting him. He gently used his other hand to loosen mine.

“It’s not a bad thing to see them, Ilya. They are your family, and coming here, you’ve proven that you are doing better than before.” Vito said. 

I hated his words at that moment. I hated everything about this. I clicked my tongue in annoyance. I turned and glared at Viktor. “Stop trying to force yourself where you are not welcome. Keep pushing using Vito, and I will bite back.” I hissed. 

My mother returned, setting the plate of cake in front of me. Her hand lingering by the plate. I reached out and took her hand in mine. “Thank you, Mamma.” 

Her hand was warm in mine, and I missed the feeling of it when I let it go. Using the fork on the table, I took a bite, watching her as she walked to go sit back down beside my father. 

“Taste like you remember, Ilya?” Viktor asked. And I smiled softly. 

“Tastes like I won’t attack you while my parents are in this room, for trying to have things you’re not welcome to.” I looked at my parents, the horrified look on my mother’s face sobering. “The cake tastes like how I remember. Thank you.” 

Matteo and Viktor got into a conversation, and I didn’t care much to listen. Standing up, I took my plate to the kitchen and set it in the sink. 

Leaning back against the counter, I pulled a hand through my hair. And sighed. 

“It’s nice to see you, Ilya.” My father said, leaning against the far wall by the door. “You seem well, at first glance.” 

“Yeah, well. I’m not.” 

“I can see that, son.” My father said. 

I was trying to get away from the conversation in the dining room, but I was also feeling overwhelmed by the emotions that the familiar taste of the cake evoked. My father’s acknowledgement of my emotional state took aback me and I was at once comforted and embarrassed by his understanding.

“I may never be normal again. Keeping my distance is safer for everyone.”

“Your cousin doesn’t lie, you know, about how we found Vito, and he isn’t asking for much, Ilya. He blames himself for what happened that night.”

“I’m not saying he should, but he made a choice that night—-” I stopped talking to grab the counter, as feelings of panic flooded in. 

“Ilya, are you ok?”

“Vito.” I hissed. My dad looked conflicted, but left the room. Letting myself slide down the counters, I set my hand on my chest and tried to breathe through it. But it wasn’t working for me. Not this time. 

I dug my nails into the tops of my tights, the pain not helping either. 

Vito came in, and Viktor hovered behind him, but took the hint when Vito closed the kitchen door. 

“Ilya?”

“Panic attack.” I muttered, clenching down on my legs tighter, and Vito got down on the floor, a pained look on his face, as he did so, and he removed my hands from my legs, and spoke. He held my hands as they shook and spoke the whole time. 

“Tell me what you did while I was away?” 

 Vito was trying to distract me from the panic attack and to get me to focus on something else. He was also trying to create a sense of safety by holding my hands and speaking in a calming manner. This was everything I was used to. 

“Matteo and I, we invaded your space. I tried not to move or touch anything. Matteo didn’t care.” I muttered. 

“I’m not surprised. Matteo is Matteo.”

“I put him through hell last week. If it had been anyone else here—--” Vito pulled me against him, and hissed out in pain. 

“I know, Ilya, and I know this isn’t what you want. But things could be worse.”

“I should have protected you better.” I said, feeling guilty about his injuries. 

“How’s your head?”

I brought my hand up and touched the spot where Alessio stitched and frowned. “I forgot about it. Alessio looked after it.”

“Good.”

“Lev and Caio, they blow darted me. They wouldn’t let me keep looking for you.”

Vito sighed and spoke. “I know you don’t want your family around, and I’m sorry. But he left me with no choice, Ilya. He saved my life.”

“You could have said no,” I complained. The panic feeling started to subside. 

“It wasn’t like he asked for me to die for him, Ilya. He asked for something simple. Just for me to allow him access to see you.”

“I don’t want that.” I hissed. 

“Ilya, your family is trying.”

“I don’t care, Vito. I don’t care that they are trying.”

Vito’s face showed his displeasure with me. “You have to make compromises sometimes, Ilya.”

“I don’t want to compromise. I like what I have and who I have in my life.”

Vito grabbed my chin and spoke low. “Ilya. We can talk about this further at home. This isn’t the place. Your family doesn’t need to hear you talking about why you don’t want to see them. They care about you.”

“Fine. But my feelings remain the same.” I hissed. 

Vito sighed and pushed me away, before standing up, and using my shoulder to do so as he grabbed his ribs. 

“How bad are your injuries?”

“Bad enough.”

“I understood that.” 

I stood up beside him, feeling sluggish now. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it up before he could stop me, and bruises and cuts littered his torso. He went to shove his shirt down and I shoved his hand away. 

“What did they do to you, Vito?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing.” 

I pressed my finger against one cut, and he hissed. “Clearly not nothing, Vito.”

 I could tell that with all the marks on his body, this was more than just minor scrapes and bruises, and some broken ribs. I was certain that he had been in a fight or had been deliberately harmed in some way. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it, but I felt a sense of urgency to know what had happened to him.

“Again, What happened, Vito?”

“They roughed me up a little, cracked some ribs. That’s it, Ilya.”

I frowned even more when he pushed my hand away when Viktor opened the door to the kitchen, and his shirt dropped. I turned and glared at Viktor. 

“Sorry. I thought I'd let you know your parents are demanding that you stay the night. There’s a massive storm moving in.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Ilya would be happy to spend the night.” Vito said, and I grabbed his arm and bit down on his hand. He hissed and shook his hand, but I bit down harder. 

Viktor reached over and flicked me in the end of the nose, and I let go of Vito. Crinkling my nose at the discomfort. Vito blocked Viktor from me and spoke. 

“Don’t do that again. Ilya can become rather violent if provoked.”

“He was biting you.”

“I’m used to it,” Vito said. Wiping the side of his hand on his pants before speaking again. “You said there was a storm coming? Is it bad?”

“They are calling for heavy rain, thunder and lightning.” Viktor said. Not believing him, I pulled out the phone and checked the weather. His words were the truth. There was a severe storm coming. 

“Nice to see you are using the gift from me, finally, Ilya.”

“I want to go home, Vito.” I hissed, jamming the phone back into my pocket. “I don’t have enough medication for this. I have my night pills, not my morning ones.”

“I’ll call Alessio and see if I can lower your night dosage, and give you some of the night dosage as day your day dosage.”

Vito pulled me back out to the dining room when he left, and my mother was gone. So was Matteo.

“Where is Matteo?” I said, demanding an answer. 

“Alessio’s brother is fine. Your mother took him to the pantry. He mentioned he was a chef, and she wanted to show him all her stuff.” Viktor said, waving his hand. 

“No harm will come to your friend here, Ilya.” My father said, standing up from the table. 

“Matteo is more than my friend.” 

“Matteo is my child.” Vito said. 

“Ah. I understand,” Viktor said, smiling at me softly. I almost wished I had the gun under the seat Alessio gave me so that I could shoot Viktor in the foot. 

Matteo came back a few minutes later on the phone with Alessio. “Vito, Alessio is saying you can cut all of Ilya’s pills in half for the night, so that he has medication for the morning. Just not his sleeping pill.”

“Alright.”

“Vito.” I hissed. 

“I know Ilya.”

My mother dropped something, and I jumped. Vito held me so I couldn’t hit the floor. 

“Sorry! It was a pan.” She called out. Her eyes holding sadness in them. Pity, really.

“It’s alright,” I said. “Accidents happen.”

She nodded. “I just feel so bad. I should have been more careful.”

I smiled tightly. “It’s ok. Let’s just move on.” She left the room, and I swore in Russian, and Viktor hummed at my choice of words. He spoke, looking at Vito and I. “Your room is still the same, minus the fact Vito has been staying there.”

I looked at Vito and back at Matteo. Where was he supposed to sleep?

“I’ll set Matteo in the guest room across the hall from you, Ilya, so you can rest easier.” Viktor said and called to Matteo to show him to the bedroom. I started walking, pulling Vito with me up the stairs. 

I could hear Viktor showing Matteo everything, from where I was just standing outside the door, not opening it. I was aware Viktor was watching me a few moments later. I opened the door and urged Vito to go in first. Turning to Viktor, I spoke. “I don’t blame you for that night. It wasn’t your fault. But I don’t trust you.”

“Ilya—-” I closed the bedroom door in his face. 

“That was unkind, Ilya.” Vito said, sitting on the end of the bed. 

“I’m not kind.” I muttered. Being in this house was making me miserable, and I would rather walk in the thunder and the rain. But I knew there was no way that was going to happen. Dropping onto the bed beside Vito, I groaned. 

“Wake me up when this is no longer our reality.”