Yuko Saito’s eyes rolled so far back that she could just about see the inside of her skull.

“I’m sorry, what? I’m what?”

“You’re in a Low Vibrational state. Yuko, I’m serious! I spent two hours learning about them this morning, and I think that’s what’s wrong with you.”

“If not believing that a Low Vibrational state is a thing that can happen to people is a sign of a Low Vibrational state, then yes, Nachelle, I am. You got me.”

Nachelle sucked her teeth. “See, that sarcasm right there is just another symptom. Pessimism is another big sign. Also irritability. It’s not your fault you’re in a Low Vibrational state, Yuko. I’m not criticizing you. I’m just saying that, understandably, given the last few years, with your treatment and your folks and your career change and everything… you are worn thin. Your energy is out of whack.”

“I am not always pessimistic or irritable. Only when I have to come stay at a Love-In and be assaulted by incense and crystals and Tibetan singing bowls and Reiki and essential oils and Lululemon,” Yuko retorted.

Nachelle held up two hands in a classic Whoa, Nelly gesture. “Excuse me, but you promised me that if I came to this thing with you, you would give this a real shot. This does not sound like you ‘giving it a real shot’. Besides, aren’t you wearing Fabletics right now? Get off your activewear high horse. Activewear is activewear, not a personality rorshach test.”

"Sure it isn't. I made that promise before the thirty minutes of amateur Tuvan throat singing this morning.”

“I think Tuvan throat singing is really cool! It produces healing vibrations! ”

“It is cool, but not when it’s being done by an Associate Vice President of Operations named Blake," said Yuko, reaching up to carefully retousle her purple pixie cut.

“You went on his Linked In? You’re not even supposed to have your phone on you here, Yuko. You’re going to get us thrown out.”

Yuko had the good grace to look slightly guilty. “How am I supposed to report my findings without a phone, huh? My client wants to know whether this property is a solid investment or not, thus the free trip down here.” Yuko crossed her arms over her chest defensively, a stink-eye brewing beneath her perfectly winged eyeliner.

“You’re supposed to report to them in real time? At fifteen minute intervals? Also, some of the investment advice software you were using sounded a little like ‘My Singing Monsters’ to me.”

“Uhhh, you are mistaken. What you heard was an alternative school of throat singing that I was watching strictly for comparison purposes.”

“Bullshit.”

“Fair. I was bored," Yuko said with an apologetic shrug.

Nachelle looked down at Yuko from her significantly taller height, her stylish and cheerful fuschia headwrap and Om t-shirt both indicating that she had dressed this morning for something other than bickering with her Low Vibrational friend. “Yuko. Shut the fuck up and try something new. Actually welcome something new into your locked-down little world. True, you’ve dealt with a lot of change already, but you cannot overdose on change, especially positive change. It will not kill you, I promise. We are going back to our room, and I am going to get you a nice CBD gummy to at least make your bitchy vibrations less contagious for the rest of us.”

“Is that shit legal?”

“Totally. Made from… nevermind. Not made from cannabis and that’s all you need to know. And you need it, trust me. We will recheck your vibes after lunch and then we will decide which of these sessions you are going to try and actively participate in. Come on.”

An hour and a half later, Yuko’s low vibrations were a lot less loud, and her hangriness had been addressed by the very clean and very vegan but also surprisingly tasty meal she had just eaten. Probably the CBD gummy had something to do with the perception that it was tasty, but whatever worked. Nachelle pulled out her event folder and scanned the schedule.

“According to this, the marketplace will be open until two, which is when the next sessions start. You’ve got meditative yoga next. Tomorrow, why don’t you try something a little more literal? You seem to be pretty heavily tied to the physical realm right now, so metaphysical topics are going to go right over your head. What about this crystals class– it sounds like it’s going to be at least half geology. Rocks for Jocks! You were a jock when we were in high school.”

“I had a lot of labels when I was in high school that I no longer use. I’m not sure if Track and Cross Country really earn anyone full ‘jock’ street cred anyway. Besides, my parents forced me to do it.”

“Well, you were good at it, and it’s how we met, so let’s look on the bright side. It’s not a running class anyway, it’s a rocks class. We’re getting off-track. Do you need a second gummy?”

“No. No, I don’t think that would be advisable unless you want me out here telling everyone exactly what I think about all of this.”

Nachelle snorted. “No, I do not want that, chula. So, crystals class?”

“No, no way. Crystals are uber woo. I can’t listen to some moron who got their credentials from an online astrology college talk about rocks for that long,” said Yuko. Even mellowed, she wasn’t going to be able to keep her skepticism over crystals in check for two full hours.

“I despair about your vibrations. Mira, Yuko-- we’re going to the marketplace to shop and you can pick your class afterwards. Give that gummy some more time to work. We’re improving your vibrational frequency before we leave this place, I promise you. We are not wasting someone else’s three thousand dollars apiece. For that kind of money, there is someone here who can fix your shit,” said Nachelle threateningly, just a touch of her mom’s Dominican accent sneaking into her speech which was Yuko’s cue to stop arguing. 

They wandered through the property which consisted of a large central building filled with gathering spaces for classes and dining and several covered outdoor meeting spaces, all surrounded by a ring of yurt-like structures that provided surprisingly comfortable guest accommodations. All were harmoniously incorporated into the heavily forested Appalachian landscape, and there were several marked trail heads where guests could go on nature walks. If Yuko didn’t have to keep listening to people making claims for practices and products that flew in the face of all scientific reasoning, she would have loved it here. It was beautiful and peaceful and the perfect antidote for life in Brooklyn. The marketplace was in the main building and all Yuko really had to do there was assess the profitability of the marketplace and maybe pick up some nice handmade soap or goat’s milk body lotion or something. Shopping she could do. Shopping was not too woo.

When they got to the collection of vendor stalls, Yuko saw with approval that it was a nice blend of products tailored for the deeply woo-centric market as well as products that appealed to anyone who liked a more natural lifestyle and aesthetic. She bought some soap that was scented with ylang ylang and grapefruit and a cute woven reusable shopping bag to carry the soap and any future purchases. 

Most of the vendors also seemed to be instructors for the various classes, which was efficient and smart for both the owners and the vendors. Yuko approved. They wandered onward to a stall selling maca root products which she examined with some interest. Maca was supposed to help with libido, and like a lot of people who used gender affirming hormone therapy, her libido was uneven. Particularly lately. Not that she needed to show up in that regard for anyone in particular at present, but… 

“Hey Nachelle– have you ever tried this maca root stuff? You think it’s safe to take with my HRT? It’s supposed to perk you up in the panty zone.”

Nachelle came over to inspect. Yuko handed her the container and Nachelle started reading the back with her medical face on. Granted, Nachelle was a podiatrist, but she’d still taken a whole lot of relevant coursework in school and she’d educated herself a good bit on Yuko’s medical situation so she could be of assistance to her forevvvvver friend as needed. She wrinkled her nose. “Mmmm. I wouldn’t. I think it might throw off your levels– it’s not like you get to pick which hormones will respond to it more strongly. I’d ask your endocrinologist first. But hell, I’m encouraged that you’re thinking about your panty zone. See? Your vibrational frequency is already moving in the right direction.”

Yuko made a face and set the canister of maca coffee back on the shelf and looked over at the next stall, seeing a rainbow of tumbled stones on display as well as some cool agate slice coasters she wanted to go look at. Then she looked up and saw the purveyor of the agate slices and froze. Whoa. Currently engaged in discussing what looked suspiciously like a large quartz crystal formation with another shopper, was a tall, auburn-haired Snack. Lean, broad shouldered, hair in a high man bun with two hair sticks holding it in place and dressed all in flowing black, Yuko approved of his look heartily. Man buns indicating what they often did about the bro-i-ness, possibly even the bruh-i-ness of the wearer, the bun would usually have been enough to make Yuko set the Snack back on the shelf next to the forbidden maca coffee. Somehow, it didn’t. The ear facing Yuko had a number of metal studs shining throughout its structure. Yuko wondered if it was one of those constellation piercings? Maybe it was an acupuncture thing? Maybe he just liked a well-ventilated ear? Another pair of rings passed through the peak of his eyebrow, a look that was raffish and… pretty sexy, actually. He had a gorgeous complexion, a full mouth and a very nice, defined jaw. Well, even if he was, probably, an unbearably airy-fairy hippie hipster, he was fun to look at.

Yuko walked a little closer and picked up a pretty geode to make her window shopping look a bit more like she was looking to get her rocks on and less like she was looking to get her rocks off. She casually took another peek out of the corner of her eye and looked straight into his, because he was looking right at her. Damn it. He smiled, his teeth white and even, and the smile went all the way to his eyes which she now saw were green. Not just green. They were Gah-reen. Damn, damn, damn. She gave him a little hello wave and set the geode down before she dropped it on her toe, because either the CBD gummy or the pretty smile was making her fingers slightly numb. He walked over. Say something dumb. Say something dumb. Say something dumb, Yuko prayed to him in her mind. She needed this inconvenient little burst of lust nipped in the bud. 

The Snack gestured at the geode in her hand. “You have a good eye. That’s a nice one. It’s called kyanite– or cyanite, depending. Most blue geodes are dyed, but that one’s color is natural. Very pretty. And useful for making spark plugs, actually.”

“Spark plugs?” said Yuko blankly. I didn’t mean that *you* should say something dumb, Yuko.

“Yeah. It’s a component of mullite, which is what you get when you fire aluminosilicates at a high temperature– it makes porcelain… porcelain. 

“Sounds complex,” which was what Yuko generally said to people who were telling her things she needed to look up and figure out later. 

“True, but silicate minerals make up ninety-five percent of the Earth’s crust and upper mantle, so they’re worth learning about.”

“It definitely sounds like you’ve learned a lot about them. So are you a chemist or a geologist or…?”

“Me?” said the Snack. “No, I’m an acupuncturist and yoga teacher. With a degree in geochemistry. But now rocks are mainly a hobby.”

“I…see,” said Yuko. That was an unexpected education/career combo. So, she was not going to pick a fight over crystals with this guy, then, because there was no way in hell she’d win.

Nachelle wandered over, her invisible thirst-detection antenna crackling over her head. Yuko cringed slightly at the avid look on her face. “Hey, Yuko, did you find something?” she asked meaningfully, giving Yuko a look that suggested that she knew Yuko was currently thinking with her panty zone. Then she looked up at the Snack and gave him a huge, warm, sparkling smile. “Hi, I’m Nachelle Herrera. I’m here for the workshop with Yuko. You are?”

“... Raph Cooper,” responded Raph Cooper, holding out his hand with a welcoming smile, “nice to meet you.”

Nachelle stepped to the side and gestured at Yuko like the models gestured at washing machines on The Price Is Right. “This is my friend Yuko, Raph. May I call you Raph?"

“Please do.”

"Yuko is not a big believer in the healing power of crystals, but I’ve been working on her. You teach the class on crystals, right?”

“I do.”

Nachelle turned to Yuko, all innocence. “See, Yuko? He’s not a moron. Sorry, I was eavesdropping and I heard you say you have a degree in geochemistry. That sounds like a hard degree to earn, huh, Yuko? Probably he didn’t get it from an online astrology college?” asked Yuko’s almost life-long, about to be former friend in a leading voice, smiling and batting her lashes once or twice for good measure.

Yuko covered her eyes with one hand, mortified and utterly put on blast. There was no point in remonstrating, so she owned her words. “Nachelle, I swear to God, I am going to kill you. You better sleep in that yurt tonight with one eye open. Raph, I’m sorry. I am a judgy, judgy, narrow-minded person with low vibrations and terrible taste in friends. I'm sure your crystals are very potent and you clearly know lots about them.”

“I use they/them pronouns, actually,” said Raph affably to Nachelle, and turned to Yuko. “I don’t mind judgy people. I come from a long line of them. You always know exactly where they stand. You should keep in mind, though, that we’re all nothing but walking, talking geochemistry. Every atom in our bodies was there at the Big Bang, the same is true for that geode, and for that crystal over there. Is it so hard to believe that the energy in the atoms that form our bodies and the energy in the atoms that form those minerals may have some influence over each other? As Carl Sagan famously said, ‘the cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff.’”

Yuko parted two fingers and looked at them through the space between digits. “You seem like a very nice person, Raph. Your vibrational frequency must be ideal. Maybe crystals work after all.”

“Today’s class is full, but you should take my class tomorrow and then you’ll have more basis for judgment,” suggested Raph with just a touch of cajoling in their tone. They winked at Yuko so quickly Yuko wasn’t sure if it really happened, but she felt a Big Bang in the region of her chest and some definite interest in the region of her panty zone that suggested that maybe she didn’t need maca root coffee blend after all. 

“I think…maybe I will,” she said, surprised to discover that she meant it.

“See you there, then,” said Raph with a seraphic smile that made Yuko’s mouth go a little dry.