"Son of a bitch," Commander Stoll greeted me with an impressed smile when I closed the door behind me "You're still coming back for more."

I took a stance by the door, keeping my posture straight and eyes forward. "I'm in heat now, sir," I told him, keeping all the emotions out of my voice and ignoring my omega's silent begs for us to get away from him.

If the commander saw how disgusted I was with myself, he would only enjoy this more.

"That's what you say, but I'm not convinced," he said, taking a good, long look at me.

"Because alphas aren't affected by my heats, sir," I said.

"You said that already, but you could be lying to me," he noted.

Fuck, I hated myself even more... "I can easily prove that to you."

He raised his eyebrow. "Then prove it."

I took a small breath, then made my way over to him. Working swiftly to get this over with, I opened my belt and let the pants of my uniform drop on the floor. He leaned back to give me a pleased glance.

"You should feel the swelling of my birth canal even with the Bitch Lace," I said, refusing to look at him.

He chuckled in a low voice, enjoying this scene. He slowly reached with his hand, keeping his eyes on my face. I shivered lightly when his hand made its way between my legs, and two fingers penetrated me. He pushed hard and deep, while I tried to stay still and not let him see my shame.

“My… It really is swollen,” he finally said, his fingers rubbing the Laced area. “It feels nice and tight in here…”

To my disgust, what he did to me eased my pain. His fingers worked better than the painkillers I’d taken. I hated it… I wanted to vomit…

“You like this?” he asked. “You’re already making slick.”

My body was reacting to the attention he gave me, and when he… He was an alpha, after all, and they easily went crazy over the scent of our slick… His pheromones slowly filled the air… I tried to move my head away from his scent, but it followed. I hated that scent, and I hated even more the fact that my heat was causing my body to react to it. Normally, it wouldn’t… My omega and I still tried to fight back. Neither of us couldn’t stand the idea of letting him anywhere near us, but the pheromones were slowly forcing us into silence. 

“You really are in heat,” he said, laughing, and grabbed me by my hair to pull me to sit on his lap. “But it’s still not affecting me,” he added, burying his nose against my neck while forcing mine against his.

His pheromones… They drowned my senses. My body shivered at the scent of this big, powerful alpha. I tried to fight back, to keep my mind clear, but my cursed body… The pheromones… My senses and my omega were quickly growing completely numb by them.

“Your wet little ass is making me hard though,” he said, chuckling, and moved his hand away to free himself from his pants. He pulled it out and brought it between my legs. 

“Ride on that.”

What else could I do but obey him…? I felt cold inside when I did as he asked, letting him humiliate me once again… I wished I had left… I should’ve left to go find a gun to end my life with. I was never going to be safe. I was never going to escape them. Whatever decision I’d ever made, no matter how hard I’d tried to fight back, I always found myself in this disgusting, humiliating situation.

As their whore. As their toy. My body was never my own. I was never let to decide for myself. I never got any respect, nor had I ever found someone I could trust. I was never treated as human. As equal with equal rights… 

Omegas were supposed to be free. Equal. Two decades had passed since omegas were freed from slavery, from being broodmares, objects, property… The laws restricting us were gone, but there still were alphas who refused to treat us with dignity.

How far did I have to run to escape those alphas…? 

I retreated deeper into the darkness at the back of my mind with my omega. It was like a veil was muffling my senses, but it wasn’t enough… I felt his every painful touch… I heard every disgusting word he growled in my ear… And I felt it when he stood up and slammed me down on his desk so hard it cleared all the air out of my lungs. 

When I looked up, gasping for air, I saw him standing above me, staring down at me with his teeth bared, growling… He looked crazed and enraged as he continued defiling me… I saw in his eyes just how much he hated me… And I understood he wasn’t doing this for the fun of it, not even for his own pleasure…

No… He wanted to break me. 

He was so unbelievably angry at me for daring to ask for a transfer into his unit… He’d thought I’d give up when he refused to even consider me. He’d thought he could scare me away. He’d thought I’d walk away when he first told me to prove myself to him. He’d forced me to go through the Bitch Lace procedure, and when that still didn’t make me walk away, he’d showed up at the clinic, thinking he could humiliate me into giving up. And yet, I’d come back… I’d dared to come back…

He could not stand me. He loathed my determination. He despised me for still trying to get into his unit. I was the worst scum in his eyes. How dare an omega try to get into his unit? How dare I still be there, defying him?

He let his hate and anger spill over, and he did everything he could to break me. This was his last chance to break me and force me to leave his base for good.

I feared the stitches wouldn't hold, and my walls would tear apart if he continued like this… I feared he would kill me in his seething rage. Maybe I should’ve died. I couldn’t stand any of it… I kept my eyes closed, tears of pain and humiliation burning behind the eyelids. I tried to endure this… I would’ve welcomed death so I could finally be free… Safe… Death would offer me a final escape… 

But death didn’t come for me. I could only lay there and let him finish and try not to die from how much I hated myself. I was so disgusted with myself… To my short relief, he suddenly stopped and stepped away. I tried not to feel filthy and used. I’d only done what I had to…

He grabbed me tightly by my throat and pinned me against the desk.

"You're such a good little soldier," he purred with a lazy smile. "If you keep up with this kind of good service, you'll be very popular among my alphas."

He let go of me and went to sit down in his chair. With a mean smile, he gestured for me to come sit down in front of him.

"Sir...?" I muttered, trembling in exhaustion.

"Get over here. Now," he said, the smile gone.

I had to obey him. My legs shaking, and soul in pain, I kneeled on the floor in front of him. He grabbed me by my hair, pulling me closer to his… thing… I tried to look away in disgust, but he was not done breaking me.

“Open your mouth,” he ordered.

I wanted to throw up… But I… I just had to endure… Just a little bit longer… When the humiliation continued… I let it continue because… Because…? 

I thought things would get better for me if I got into the Special Operations Unit… The best unit in the army… Their soldiers were elites, the strongest of the strongest… I thought I’d finally grow strong enough to protect myself…

But… Maybe… Maybe it was the worst decision of my life, after all…

"Such a pathetic little whore," he muttered, his hold on my hair growing painful. "You think you'll be fighting terrorists in my unit? No. You'll be used as a fucking toy. One-hundred and twenty alphas. You'll be so fucking busy..."

Maybe death was my only escape…

"You fucking bitch... You think you're a good fit, huh? You think you belong here? You belong in a fucking whorehouse, that's your fucking place! The first terrorist you'll meet will either kill you, assault you, or sell you to slavers. You've come here to waste our money and resources!" he spoke, growling, his voice growing angrier with each word. "Your mere fucking presence here puts us all in shame!"

His anger was really leaking over now…

Without a warning, he hit me hard in my face, sending me flying to the floor. I could taste blood... I stayed there, trying to breathe, unable to pay attention to the commander who stood up to hover above me…

Unable to do anything to stop him…

"You know what it feels like to be assaulted by a terrorist, hmm?" he asked when he leaned over me. "No. You don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't be here. But I'll show you."

Why...? Why was I forced to live through a life like this? We were supposed to be equals now, us and them. Alphas and omegas. Why was I lying on the dirty floor, assaulted by the commander of this army...?

It hurt so much... I was sure he'd kill me now. I tried to endure it... But even I had my limit, and he was getting so fucking close to it... But I had to... Had to stay strong. Had to endure. Had to... had to find a way to live with myself. This would be over soon. I just had to ride it out. It was just sex... It was just pain... And if he killed me in his rage...

I would finally be safe.

When he was finally done with me, he got up, kicked me one more time, and went to sit back down, heaving. I used all the strength I had left to gather myself from the ground, carefully moving my limbs in case something was broken, tears burning in my eyes.

I was so tired... I just wanted to give up...

I just wanted this to end...

"So? Still want a place in my unit?" he asked, his voice cold.

I should've said no...

"Yes, sir," I said, my voice weak.

He snorted in amusement, but he couldn’t hide his rage. "You're a fucked up little bitch, aren't you?"

"I want... into your unit," I said, trying to stand up, but the world was spinning around me.

"Fine," he spat at me.

"You... are taking me... in...?" I asked.

He laughed. "I'll give you a chance, yes. I'll have you transferred next week."

I sat there in silence, letting his words sink in. This was it. I was finally... I finally got in. After years of... of this. Pain. But I was unable to feel any joy. Not now. Not after this...

"Thank you, sir," I said.

I couldn't... I couldn't do this anymore...

"Don't thank me yet," he said with a grin. "First, you need to find a captain that will take you on his team. Though, if you keep whoring yourself out like this, you'll find someone in no time."

No... No more... I couldn't... Why couldn't he just...?

"Okay..." I breathed out, somehow managing to force my body up from the floor.

And if things weren't bad enough as they were...

When I finally limped out of his office, his secretary chuckled at the sight of me. I tried to hold my head up and posture straight when I walked past him, but I really just wanted to die. He'd heard everything. Absolutely everything.

"Bye, Bitch Lace," he cooed, laughing.

At that moment, I wished the Lace would take my life that night.