"Son of a bitch," Commander Stoll greeted me with an impressed smile when I closed the door behind me "You're still coming back for more."

I took a stance by the door, keeping my posture straight and eyes forward. "I'm in heat now, sir," I told him, keeping all the emotions out of my voice, ignoring my omega's silent begs.

If he'd see how disgusted I was with myself, he would only enjoy this more.

"That's what you say, but I'm not convinced," he said, taking a good, long look at me.

"Because alphas aren't affected by my heats, sir," I said.

"You said that already, but you could be lying to me," he noted.

Fuck, I hated myself even more... "I can easily prove that to you."

He raised his eyebrow. "Then prove it."

I took a small breath, then made my way over to him. Working swiftly to get this over with, I opened my belt and let the pants of my uniform drop on the floor. He leaned back to give me a pleased glance.

"You should feel the swelling of my birth canal even with the Bitch Lace," I said, refusing to look at him.

He chuckled in a low voice, enjoying this scene. He slowly reached with his hand, keeping his eyes on my face. I shivered lightly when his hand made its way between my legs, and two fingers penetrated me. He pushed hard and deep, while I tried to stay still and not let him see my shame.

"My... It really is swollen," he finally said, his fingers rubbing the laced area. "It feels nice and tight in here..."

To my disgust, it eased my pain. His fingers worked better than the painkillers I'd taken. I hated it... I wanted to vomit...

"You like this?" he asked. "You're already making slick."

My mind was getting foggy. My body was reacting to his scent, to the attention he gave me. My omega still tried to fight back. It couldn't stand the idea of letting him anywhere near us, but the pheromones were slowly forcing it into silence.

"You really are in heat," he said, laughing, and grabbed me by my hair to pull me to sit on his lap. "But it's still not affecting me," he added, burying his nose against my neck while forcing mine against his.

His pheromones... They drowned my senses. My body shivered at the scent of this big, powerful alpha. I tried to fight back, to keep my mind clear, but my cursed body... The pheromones... My senses and my omega were quickly growing completely numb by them.

"Your wet little ass is making me hard though," he said, chuckling, and moved his hand away to free his member. He pulled it out and brought it between my legs.

"Ride on that."

I was almost completely enslaved by his pheromones. I was so drugged I didn't really understand what I was doing. My body was running on pure instincts. I hated it, but it was taking away the pain...

"You're so fucking tight!" he suddenly growled and stood up with me in his arms.

He slammed me down on his desk, clearing the air out of my lungs, then continued with his ruthless act. I gasped for air, staring up at the sweaty man standing between my legs that rested on his arms. And he watched me, his eyes full of lust-filled rage. He growled with every move, his teeth bared, making sure I knew how fucking much he hated me, and how much he loved breaking me.

Just because I dared to ask for a transfer into his unit...

I feared the stitches wouldn't hold, and my walls would tear apart if he continued like this... But did it matter if I died? If I did, I didn't have to wake up from this to see the man I hated, and the things I'd let him do to me.

I came long before he did, and the fog in my head subsided. I could only lay there and let him finish and try not to die from being so disgusted with myself. I couldn't stand any of it... I kept my eyes closed, tears of pain and humiliation burning behind the eyelids. I tried to endure this...

I was relieved when the commander suddenly pulled out instead of shoving his knot in me. He let out pleased groans while he trembled. I turned to look away, trying not to feel filthy and used. I'd only done what I had to...

He grabbed me tightly by my throat and pinned me against the desk.

"You're such a good little soldier," he purred with a lazy smile. "If you keep up with this kind of good service, you'll be very popular among my alphas."

He let go of me and went to sit down in his chair. With a mean smile, he gestured for me to come sit down in front of him.

"Sir...?" I muttered, trembling in exhaustion.

"Get over here. Now," he said, the smile gone.

I had to obey him. My legs shaking, and soul in pain, I kneeled on the floor in front of him. He grabbed me by my hair, pulling me closer.

"Clean it. It's your mess," he ordered.

I wanted to throw up. I kept my eyes closed when I did as he asked and cleaned him.

"Such a pathetic little whore," he muttered, his hold on my hair growing painful. "You think you'll be fighting terrorists in my unit? No. You'll be used as a fucking toy. One-hundred and twenty alphas. You'll be so fucking busy..."

I tried not to listen to his angry mutters. He was just trying to humiliate me. It wasn't the first time an alpha had gotten furious with me for making them lust after me. I couldn't help it... Even with my suppressants, I was still an omega, and it was encoded in their instincts to want us.

And I realized he'd not expected to see me here ever again. He was enraged that I'd dared to come back. This was his last chance to break me and force me to leave his base for good.

"You fucking bitch... You think you're a good fit, huh? You think you belong here? You belong in a fucking whorehouse, that's your fucking place. The first terrorist you'll meet will either kill you, assault you, or sell you to slavers. You've come here to waste our money and resources!" he spoke, growling, his voice growing angrier with each word. "Your mere fucking presence here puts us all in shame!"

Without a warning, he hit me hard in my face, sending me flying to the floor. I could taste blood... I stayed there, trying to breathe, unable to pay attention to the commander who stood up to hover above me.

Unable to do anything to stop him.

"You know what it feels like to be assaulted by a terrorist, hmm?" he asked when he leaned over me. "No. You don't. Because if you did, you wouldn't be here. But I'll show you."

Why...? Why was I forced to live through a life like this? We were supposed to be equals now, us and them. Alphas and omegas. Why was I lying on the dirty floor, assaulted by the man I wanted to be my boss...?

It hurt so much... I was sure he'd kill me now. I tried to endure it... But even I had my limit, and he was getting so fucking close to it... But I had to... Had to stay strong. Had to endure. Had to... had to find a way to live with myself. This would be over soon. I just had to ride it out. It was just sex... It was just pain... And if he killed me in his rage...

It would finally be over.

When he was finally done with me, he got up, kicked me one more time, and went to sit back down, heaving. I used all the strength I had left to gather myself from the ground, carefully moving my limbs in case something was broken, tears burning in my eyes.

I was so tired... I just wanted to give up...

I just wanted this to end...

"So? Still want a place in my unit?" he asked, his voice cold.

I should've said no...

"Yes, sir," I said, my voice weak.

He snorted in amusement. "You're a fucked up little bitch, aren't you?"

"I want... into your unit," I said, trying to stand up, but the world was spinning around me.

"Fine," he spat at me.

"You... are taking me... in...?" I asked.

He laughed. "I'll give you a chance, yes. I'll have you transferred next week."

I sat there in silence, letting his words sink in. This was it. I was finally... I finally got in. After five years of... of this. Pain. But I was unable to feel any joy. Not now. Not after this...

"Thank you, sir," I said.

I couldn't... I couldn't do this anymore...

"Don't thank me yet," he said with a grin. "First, you need to find a captain that will take you on his team. Though, if you keep whoring yourself out like this, you'll find someone in no time."

No... No more... I couldn't... Why couldn't he just...?

"Okay..." I breathed out, somehow managing to force my body up from the floor.

And if things weren't bad enough as they were...

When I finally limped out of his office, his secretary chuckled at the sight of me. I tried to hold my head up and posture straight when I walked past him, but I really just wanted to die. He'd heard everything. Absolutely everything.

"Bye, Bitch Lace," he cooed, laughing.

At that moment, I wished the Lace would take my life that night.