I heard a noise downstairs and looked at the clock. It was 4:30 am, Dad was up and leaving for the store. I left my room and went downstairs. “ Dad.” I said meeting up with him in the kitchen. He turned to me. “I’m sorry for all this, I just want everything to be ok again between us.” 

 “ You learning responsibility after this point will be all I need, you’re a good kid.” He poured a cup of coffee. 

“I know, I just want you to know I’m trying, I really am. I just want you to be proud of me.” 

“ Raleigh, sit down, let’s talk. First of all, I am still proud of you, this issue with the baby, well, it was unexpected, and maybe I’ve been too wrapped up in my own head about a lot of this. I never meant to to make you feel alienated about the situation we’re all in.” 

“ You don’t want the baby do you, be honest? Wouldn’t it have been better if we had had-” 

“ No, we don’t believe in such things.” He said quietly. “ What I wanted was for the baby to stay with its mother and you would learn about the responsibility of child support until the baby is eighteen. Am I unhappy about the situation, yes, I will not lie. Your mother and I have only had a few arguments in our relationship and it has been about the child.” 

“I didn’t mean any of this.” I wanted to start crying. 

“ This is something adults grapple with, this is why I wanted you to understand that sex is something saved for marital relationships. We sent you to Church camp to learn about abstinence and being God’s representative in a complicated sin filled world. Well I’m disappointed that lesson was lost on you, it was unexpected that you faced temptation in a place that was supposed to be safe. That said, your mother has wanted another child for a few years, now that we’re in our forties the doctors said there was no hope for her to conceive without a high risk pregnancy, and after years of treatments and disappointment we had to stop trying. Early in our marriage, she was told she would never have a child of her own, and yet here you are, to her the baby that is coming now, is an answer to her prayers, I cannot deny the happiness this has made her, I’ll do anything for her she is my soulmate. I am learning to accept this situation, and I’m going to be hard on you Raleigh, but that is because when you grow up you will be a kind, responsible caring person who will raise a family of his own. You’ll be stronger and wiser, I’m going to treat you like the man you will grow into be.” He took a sip of his coffee  and then set it down. “ I know you can do this,son. It’ll be tough but you’ll come out of it a better man.” “ I’m sorry, and I promise I will do everything you ask of me, I’ll work at the store, I’ll keep my grades up and I’ll help mom with the baby.” I vowed. “ Just.. say it’s okay between us.”

He patted my hand. “ In time, when you prove yourself, and I feel that you are following the right path, trust will come again. I want you to attend church again on Sunday mornings. I let you slide and that is on me, I should shepard your faith not let it slip away.” 

“Ok, I’ll go to church with you and mom again, on Sunday, but just Sunday right?” I fished around as I didn’t want to do Wednesday and Saturday nights as well. 

“ Just Sunday, for now.” He warned, “If you start to slide, it will be all three nights.” 

“Deal! Thanks Dad, I love you.” 

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder pulling me close. “ I love you too, Rah, I never stopped loving you. I can be disappointed but I’ll never not love you.” I started to cry hard, like the dam broke and everything that had been tearing me up since July came rushing out. “ It’s alright son, it’s alright. I didn’t realize how this was affecting you, I’m sorry.” 

I whimpered “ I know a man shouldn’t cry-” 

“ No, men can cry, son. You can have emotions and humanity, be Christ-like, gentle yet strong.” He assured me, patting me on the back. “ If you didn’t cry, I’d be more concerned.” 

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand as Mom appeared in the kitchen. “ Everything okay?” She asked. 

“ It’s good. Me and Rah just had a heart to heart about manhood. He’s a good, Man.” Dad moved his arm and stood up to hug mom. “ I’d better get a move on and open the store, I’ll see you after school, son.” 

“See you after school, Dad.” I waved as he left the kitchen. Mom sat down at the table. 

“Is it okay? You feeling alright baby?” She felt my forehead and smoothed back my hair. 

“Yeah, just talked to Dad. We’re good.” I sniffled. “ I won’t let you guys down, I will take care of the baby, I’ll work hard. I just want you to trust me again.” She wrapped her arms around me tightly, nearly pulling me out of my chair. 

“I trust you, Raleigh, I love you so -so much.” She burst into tears. “ Don’t ever worry we don’t love you.” 

“I love you too, Momma.” My tears started up again, but the pain in my stomach faded as the sadness was washing away. 

After a good cry, mom made me breakfast and I ate the entire bowl of oatmeal, no left overs in the trash this time. “ Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to school?” 

“ I want to check on my friend, Mal. I don’t want him to think I abandoned him, last time I saw him he was heading to the Principal's office with a bloody nose.” I washed my bowl and put it in the dishwasher. 

“ Do you want me to pick up your friend as well? Drive you both? Sounds like a new family in town that needs our fellowship.” Mom offered. 

“Mal and his uncle  live on the grounds of the old Saint Margaret Mary’s church.” 

“ Ok, well, get showered and dressed. We'll drive over there so I can meet him and his family. Welcome them to town.”

“Thanks!” I hurried through showering and dressing, if we skipped the bus we’d have more time to hang out before school, maybe I can patch things up with Ryan too. By the time I was ready, mom was dressed and preparing a bagged lunch for my dad. “ Thanks for doing this Mom, Mal seems pretty lonely, his folks and siblings are in England.” 

“ I wanted to bring your dad his lunch and pick up a few things for dinner. Why don’t you invite Mal and Ryan over for dinner ? We’ll drive them home afterwards.” 

“Great! Thanks, Momma !” I grabbed my backpack and we headed out the door. I was interested in seeing the old grounds of St Margaret Mary’s as it was supposed to be super haunted even in daylight people said it was scary. We hopped in the station wagon and headed towards the old Church. 

To be continued.