Malachy looked Ryan dead in the eyes. “At least I am willing to say it, and be out about it. It is called Pride y’know, you accept this as who you are and fuck everyone else.  I’ve been beaten up loads of times, it doesn’t matter as I always survive, I’m a bloody good punching bag. I’ve learned to take a punch, you’d be amazed at the things I can do when threatened with physical violence.”

“Let’s bring it down a notch can we?” I offered, acting as a peacekeeper. 

“What about you? Boys or Girls?” He asked me point blank.

“Yeah, Rah is it Boys or Girls?” Ryan joined in ribbing me. 

“ I’m already in enough trouble as it is, just consider me nothing.” I replied. “ No comment.”

“ So is this the gay boys table?” One of the seniors from the Varsity football team came up to the table, leaning so hard on it I thought it would flip over. He was huge, refrigerator size -three hundred pound meat head who looked like he was going to squish Malie into pulp. A David and Goliath showdown was about to go down only I didn’t think David would win.

“ Let’s all take it easy, Mal is from another country he just doesn’t know what it’s like here.” I tried to disarm the situation. 

“ Gay boys' table, how clever, well you should know, shouldn’t you?” Malie snorted aiming his venom as he looked directly into the eyes of the Jock. It wasn't going to end well, Malie said cold as ice “ Why are you threatened by anyone who is gay? Unless of course.. You are and are afraid of it? I think they call it ‘self -loathing’.” I groaned. 

“ What did you say!” The Jock shouted. 

“ I said, ‘Are you a self loathing GAY’ or are you  possibly hearing impaired, Darling? ” Mal shouted over him. Two seconds later the brute landed a punch so hard on Mal he was knocked backwards off the bench. While his nose was bloodied and his glasses were knocked off  Mal jumped back up, a little flurry of gray  fury he punched the guy right in the family jewels! The whole cafeteria went dead silent watching the scene. The Jock lay on the floor holding his crotch as teachers ran up to him, Mal breathing hard and glaring- stood there in a fighting stance, fists raised, his nose bleeding profusely staining his sweater. “ Anyone else want to try me?” He shouted “ Come on! I’m not hiding who I am and if I have to put every last one of you in your place I will!” He roared. I picked up his glasses and handed them to him. 

“Calm down Malie, it’s okay, no one is going to fight you anymore, I think you made your point.” I said as calmly and quietly as possible to see if he would relax for a moment. “You’re bleeding, here. Wipe your nose, is it broken?” I gave him a napkin. 

“Thank you, I don’t think it is broken.” He wiped the blood and it seemed to be stopping. 

“ Boys! To the office all of you!” Mrs Larkin ordered, in the hardest tone I’d ever heard from her. 

Terror filled me, I started to panic. “Please Mrs Larkin, I wasn’t involved, I can't get in trouble! My Dad will kill me!” I pleaded with her. I was shaking, my hands wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t get in trouble on the first day of school. “ You don’t understand!” 

“ Alright Raleigh, take a breath and calm down, you aren’t the sort to start trouble so get to class, you too Ryan. However  Malachy,  you and  Roy need to go to the Principal's office now. I’m deeply disappointed in both of you.” I took off as fast as I could, as Malie was escorted to the Principal by Mrs Larkin. Roy, I guess was the Jock- Roy, he limped behind them whimpering about his balls. 

Ryan grabbed me by the arm and stopped me suddenly as we hurried down the stairs towards biology, a class we share. “Raleigh, I don’t want to be a coward! Mal- he was brave and took on a bully. I want to learn to not be afraid of who I really am!”

“ We have to be afraid, Ryan. That guy could've  killed him, and that’s not to say Mal won’t get jumped after school and get beaten to a pulp by the entire senior football team!” My heart was pounding, I felt like I was going to faint. “  I can’t … I can’t..” I couldn’t say it, his eyes were so big and almost tearing up. He was begging me to be strong and I was crumbling.“ I can’t get in trouble Ryan!” I shook his hand off and ran for the classroom before the bell rang. Ryan came in late. 

The rest of the day went by quickly, I didn’t see Malie again, I assume they expelled him or something. Ryan gave me the cold shoulder after school and took the bus home, when originally  he was going to come to the store and help me stock shelves. Alone,  I jumped on the city bus and went to my dad’s store on main street. 

The Matson IGA was one of four grocery stores my dad and his brother Bill inherited when their parents passed. Grocery stores had been in our family at least a hundred and fifty years, starting with a small Mercantile, but specifically our IGA stores started in nineteen twenty-seven.  My dad had two of the stores and his brother Bill had two. Dad was given the popular main street store since he was a better businessman. We’re were financially secure but not wealthy, not that I knew of.  The IGAs were my legacy, I would inherit all the stores if there are no more heirs added. Uncle Bill and Aunt Ruby had no children, at this point I was the only heir, but when the baby comes that might be different and for that I was glad, I don’t want the stores, I don’t want that for my life. I’m going to Las Vegas as soon as I am eighteen to be a high roller, or an Elvis impersonator. Not a Grocer! The hundred and fifty years ends with me. 

 I walked into the store, it was quiet, local folks moseying around with their shopping. Dad was working the register, he waved as I came in, light muzak played over the sound system. The bright yellow decor hadn’t changed since the nineteen seventies when Grandpa Will remodeled. I waved at my dad, “Drop your bookbag Rah and grab a mop start at the produce and work your way around the store.” He said as I walked by. 

“ Okay Dad.” I grumbled and went back to where the coolers were, we stored mops and buckets as well as my dad’s office was back there. It was always cold and smelled like rotten pineapple. I dropped my backpack, clocked in and grabbed my apron tying it on. It could be worse, it was better than stocking shelves or bagging groceries. Mopping was a soulless, mindless chore where I could just not think about anything, just swirl that water around with that mop. That’ll kill a few hours for sure. 

Each push of the mop, I reflected on today, the fight with Ryan, his feelings for me and that I was terrified of being found out to be gay or whatever I was. Clearly I liked girls because Monica and I had sex, and I liked the thought of having a girlfriend, but also having a boyfriend would be ok too. I wasn’t opposed to doing sexy stuff with guys, in fact it sounded much easier.  I just wasn’t sure exactly what guys do, I know the basics-ish but how? I didn’t really know. But whatever it is was Ryan was up for it, and I didn’t have any answers. Our relationship was changing and I think that’s what was hurting us. I had lost my virginity and faced bitter consequences, just like my growth spurt, again there was something Ryan felt left behind by. He was still a virgin and I was experienced, well  kind of if you count the one time. 

Sex, relationships and friendships are getting harder to sort out as I grow up, it’s frightening, but then it’s what happens as we become adults. I just wasn’t as grown up as I thought I was, because I was scared half to death.  I don’t know how long I mopped when I heard my name called over the P.A. system “Raleigh, please report to Mr Matson’s office.” I looked at my watch it was already 5pm. I'd been moping since 3pm, didn’t realize it! I went to my Dad’s office with the mop bucket. “ Come on, son, you’ve done a good job. Time to knock off for the day, Kenny will take over.”  Kenny was the college kid who did my job during the weekdays late afternoon and evening. “ Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah, starving, I didn’t really eat my lunch today.” I took off my wet apron and hung it up. 

“Why not?” Dad asked while locking  up his desk for the night. 

I tucked my hands in my front jeans pockets. “ Oh, these guys got into a fight, and I was at the lunch table.” 

“Boys will be boys.” He replied adjusting his glasses, I didn’t look much like Dad, he was heavy set, had curly hair and hazel eyes. I figure once I hit forty, like he has that’ll be when the gray hair starts, the  gut appears, and  POOF! I’ll turn into dad. “ Never changes, as long as you aren't involved that’s a good thing.” We left his office and walked out of the store. 

“ Yeah, I was just minding my own business, and this jock came to the table to cause trouble with the new kid. I tried to calm everything down but they got in a fist fight anyway.” I explained Dad had his hand on my back as we walked, it felt comforting, like when I was younger before I screwed up. “ Yeah this little guy from England dropped the jock like a sack of potatoes. I’m pretty sure he got expelled.” 

“ Fighting never solves anything, I’m glad to hear you tried to get them not to fight, that’s a good thing. That’s good sportsmanship, Rah.” We made it to the car, it was so hot outside. “ You want to stop and get some burgers on the way home? Your Momma had to be out of town today so let’s surprise her with dinner.” 

I smiled, I  liked these moments of normality when we forgot about reality, and I was his golden boy again. “Sure dad, that’d be great!” We stopped through the drive-thru of King Burger's, a local place that had the best hometown burgers and shakes in the whole county. We ordered a couple of bags full of food and he let me get a peanut butter milkshake to celebrate my first day back at school. We drove home listening to the oldies station, Dad loved his 70’s rock, we just enjoyed the drive home quietly. 

To be continued.