~

At work, I kept making mistakes that I shouldn't because my mind was blank.

In the end, Lee Sora called me to her office, and she humiliated me. However, she pleased.

She also mentioned that because of my mistakes, she wouldn't hire me full-time yet.

When she vented her anger on me, I didn't say a word... just before leaving the office, I apologized to her. Then she mumbled, "Nothing more could be expected from a mistress..."... 

I pretended I hadn't heard it and left the room silent. I ran to the bathroom immediately, trying to catch my breath. I splashed cold water on my face, looking at myself in the mirror, trying to process what I had heard. I felt my heart racing and my face getting hot out of frustration.

During our rest time, I was standing while drinking my coffee in the resting area to cool myself down a bit. Then, someone from the marketing team approached me and started talking to me. As we were chatting, Haru appeared around the corner. He glared at me and asked, "Have you prepared the things I mentioned for the upcoming meeting?..." 

"Ah, yes!" I answered. 

"Did you print the necessary documents?" Haru asked me again while he turned his glare at the one standing beside me as if he was signalling him to buzz off, so he just ran off.

I said, "I did. What are you trying to do?"

-"Do what?" 

+"You just wanted to disturb us? Didn't you?"

-" Maybe... What were you two talking about?!" 

+"Nothing special!..." 

As he moved towards me, I backed away, and we went on until the wall reached my back. Then he leaned his left hand on the wall beside me and said, "What's gotten into you?... You've always avoided people, but nowadays you hang out with them... Especially that guy..."

I replied calmly, "You told me once I should learn how to communicate with people. So what's wrong with it?" 

Haru groaned, "I didn't mean you could fool around... or slack off!!..."

I clenched my fists and said bitterly, "What?!... Do you think I'm a whore as your mom or Lee Sora does?..." 

He grasped my face fiercely, "That's not what I meant!... I'm telling you to focus on your work and don't mess up!... They don't approach you with good intentions. You should be aware of that!"

My voice trailed off as I whimpered, "Give me a damn rest! All of you~..." I sobbed as I was whipping my tears. "I know~... I'm impotent~... But I'm only trying to hold on~..." 

He sighed and loosened his grip as he remained silent. Then he turned away, walked to the door and said, "Let's go back to work."

I slid down to the floor, trying to hold back my emotions. After I got myself back together, I stood up and headed to the meeting room.

 ~

Since that time, I've been on eggshells around Haru because he had been extremely sensitive during the times that his parents stayed at his home. He kept scolding me so many times and getting angry at me for the stupidest things. And the only thing I could do was bear with it.

The situation was getting tense... 

I could feel we both were drained by the intensity of the situation and the stress of having his parents around, plus tough situations at work... 

 ~

After his parents finally returned back to their own place, Haru took me to his home that night without even asking me, and I was getting used to this behaviour.

As we got to his place, he gently hugged me... I felt his breathing around my ears and neck. I could sense his relief and need for comfort. I stayed in his embrace until he was ready to let go. When I was in his arms, I was overwhelmed by feelings I couldn't understand...

He looked into my eyes with a sorrowful expression and said, " I missed you... Damnnnn~~... It was a tough week... I was rough on you, too..."... 

I replied, "It's okay... This shall pass..."... 

He asked with a bittersweet smile, "Can I hug you while sleeping tonight?..." 

As I nodded, he held my hand and pulled me towards the bedroom. We tucked into the bed and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt his heartbeat while my head touched his chest and the warmth of his body on mine. I was finally able to relax even if it was a brief moment.

  ~

We weren't even in a tragic movie, so why does it hurt so much?... 

Our attachment was getting complicated...

Even though I still couldn't figure out what I wanted from him, his existence was luring me...

I was afraid of losing myself... 

As I was staying with him, the more I was drowning...

I know that I can't hope for anything...

I shouldn't put my hands on something that can disappear in a second... 

But there was something about him that I couldn't resist... 

I know it can't last forever like this and I can't depend on him constantly...

 ~

Tomorrow morning, after we had breakfast together, Haru said, "I have an appointment today that I should go to..."

+"With Heejin?..."

-"Nope...It's for business... he'll leave the country soon so I had to go today...

Also, I forgot to tell you, but I broke up with her... "

+"What?!... Why?!..."

-"I found out she was in contact with my mom for a while... and last week's chaos was her doing..." 

+"Ahhh~!... I didn't expect it..."

In conclusion that was why his mom called me a whore... 

How can I fix this mess?... 

Is it ever fixable?... 

I don't feel good about their breakup although I experienced that painful night... 

I know she was serious about Haru...

So I can understand why she was angry at me and took it this far... 

But that kiss wasn't even special in the end... 

It meant nothing... 

I was crying crazily and he kissed me to shut me up like when you put a candy in a child's mouth when they're crying...

-"She was a b**ch...I should've ended it sooner..." 

+"Don't badmouth her!... By the way, can you drop me off at my house on your way since you're heading out?"... I walked to the bedroom to get my things...

-"Stay here... watch something or play games until I come back..."

+"Nah... I wanna..."

He came to me and grabbed my chin, turned my face towards himself and didn't let me finish my sentence... His intense gaze told me he was not about to take no for an answer. he said,"You don't get to decide," he finished sternly.

+"I'd like to go home... I'll be lonely here... I don't like it..."

-"You like to be alone anyway... you won't come out of your room whenever you're at home... that's what your mom said last time... so what's the difference?..."

+"it's different!... "

- "How?... "

+"Whenever I'm alone here I keep thinking about you and waiting for you until you come... I don't like it... "

He laughed and pinched my cheek, then replied, " But I like it whenever I think you're here waiting for me... 

Be a good boy and listen... I'll be back soon so we can go out and have fun..."

He grabbed his coat and phone, headed towards the door... "I'm counting on you to be here when I get back," he said as he opened the door.

+"Hey!... I will leave after you... "

-"Do it if you want to deduct your salary... Bye..." 

+"Huh!... you asshole!..."

 ~

I sighed deeply... 

Me staying here alone, it's suffocating... 

Negative thoughts come to me like waves hitting a beach when it's stormy... I feel like I'm stuck in a never-ending sadness and despair. 

It's easy for you to say... 

Because you're not the one who's waiting... 

You always had me whenever you wanted... 

I feel He keeps dominating me... 

And I'm stupidly accepting every one of your needs... I'm not sure why I allow myself to be so subservient to him; perhaps it's because I want to please him and make him happy since he helped a lot... I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help but feel guilty if I don't comply with his requests... 

 ~

After 4 or 5 hours, Haru finally returned home... 

You could've seen the satisfaction on his face when he saw I was still there... 

He ran towards me and hugged me. "Go get ready... after I change my clothes we can go out..."... 

I sniffed the smoke from his clothes when I was in his arms and asked him, "Why do you smell like smoke lately?"... 

-"The person I was with was a smoker so it got on my clothes... Also, Lee Sora is smoking, too..."

I frowned and stepped away. "Go change your clothes... it gives me a headache..."... 

"Okay," he said as he began walking away...

When we got ready, he took me to the cinema first, and after watching the movie, we went out for dinner. We talked about what we had seen, and then he finally drove me home after drinking coffee since my dad called me to go back... 

But you could feel he was fidgety about sending me home... 

In the end, He said goodbye with a gloomy face...