Landon

I had a tough time sleeping after Harry’s visit.

I engaged in self sexual gratification, I took a shower, still I couldn’t calm my brain. Our hot make out session kept playing in my mind on a loop, getting me all hot and bothered.

By the time I managed to drift off to sleep, it must have been two in the morning. Not even the TV on could offer me a distraction. Damn, mate! You are killing me!

I woke up the day after early as usual, got dressed and went downstairs to the dining hall. Harry hadn't arrived yet, so it was just my family.

"Good morning, family." I greeted them, sleepier than usual.

"Morning, Lan. Late night?" Mom asked me with a curious stare.

"Not really, I just had trouble sleeping." I replied, yawning.

"I see. Did it have something to do with your mate visiting your room last night?" She inquired, getting my siblings wide eyed at the revelation.

I gasped in shock at her insinuation.

"Nothing happened between us, if that's what you're implying." I frowned at her like I was a teenager again and she had caught me sneaking Grayson into my room.

"Of course it didn't. If it had, you would have slept like an angel." She snickered with a mischievous grin. Both my siblings giggled at her words.

"You have a point there." I conceded, blushing.

"Of course I do. I'm your mom." She bragged, smugly.

The maid brought in all the food for us to serve ourselves, which we did. As we begin to eat, Harry rushes inside the dining room.

"Sorry I'm late. I had trouble sleeping last night." He apologized, taking a seat next to me and already grabbing a plate to help himself to some pancakes.

"No problem, sweetie. We have just begun eating." Mom smiled at him cordially.

My siblings gave me a poignant look, knowing my mate and I had the same issues. Mom was sympathetic and accommodating to Harry's plight.

He avoided my gaze, blushing everytime I looked at him. After we finished breakfast, he hurried out of the dining room as if he was escaping me.

I found it odd, but didn't want to pursue him or make him feel uncomfortable, so I brushed it off and carried on with my day.

I didn't see him again until lunch time, but he continued avoiding my gaze. I don't know why he is so self conscious around me, we didn't do anything wrong and I made sure to respect every boundary of his.

After dinner, he still looked a little odd. But I wasn't going to let it fester or have some weird vibe between us, so I went after him.

I knocked at his bedroom door and he was surprised to see me at his doorstep.

"Can I help you?" He asked, not making room for me to enter.

"Yes, you can tell me why you're acting so weird today. Have I done something wrong?" I asked him, frowning.

"No, you haven't done anything wrong." He replied in a dry tone.

"Then why are you acting so weird around me? We just kissed." I interrogated him, annoyed.

"I know what we did, Landon. I was there." He grunted in a snarky mood.

I am growing impatient already.

"Please, I'd just like to know why are you avoiding me? I thought you wanted us to talk to each other." I inquired, my eyes pleading.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to avoid you. I was just embarrassed by my own behavior." He admitted in a defeated tone.

I took the opportunity to make my way inside his room, he got wide-eyed at my resolve but offered no objection. I took a seat on the far side of the bed, giving room for him to sit at a distance from me.

"You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Absolutely nothing. But you avoiding me all day is making me feel dirty, like somehow I took advantage of you. I hate feeling this way!" I blurted in one breath.

Harry closed the door and sat on the bed, near the head with a pillow serving as back support.

He lowered his head, embarrassed about this.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I know you made an effort to keep me comfortable and not to push any boundary. If anything, I was the one who took advantage of you." He declared, which got me giggling.

"You can take advantage of me anytime." I smiled mischievously at him.

"Thanks, mate. But that's not gonna happen again." He glared at me.

"I understand, Harry. I have no expectations from you. I know you rejected me. I just wanted to clear the air because your attitude was bothering me." I asserted, looking disappointed.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was just in my head about it." He reiterated in a soft tone.

"It's fine. But I do wanna say this: you are free to do as you like. Obviously you are free to keep rejecting me, but you are also free to do anything else you want. You don't owe anything to anybody. If you ever decide to give us a chance, you shouldn't have to concern yourself with what other people might think of you, even your family. You are the one who's gonna live with the consequences of your actions, not them. And no one should have any say in whether or not you accept a mate." I unburdened myself, getting things off my chest.

He gasped at my word vomit, inhaling and exhaling to prepare himself for what to say next.

“I’m aware of that, thanks. My parents are against the rejection, actually. I mean, my dad is, my mom just wants me to be happy. But I can’t just forgive and forget that you caused the genocide of my pack.” He argued, sending me shock waves of guilt that permeated through my body.

“I’m sorry for the extreme measures, I never meant to hit any children. I know it was overkill, but I had to stop this war one way or the other. Too many lives were claimed and I had to take a stand.” I defended myself, remorsefully.

I am not a psychopath. I know it was overkill, but I had to do something to end this war and killing their Alpha just wasn’t enough. Even if he was targeted as well.

“Too many lives were taken, you’re absolutely right. Five thousand of them, including my family members, my sister in law and my best friend’s mate.” He stated with dread in his voice as the loss weighs heavily on him.

“I’m sorry for your loss. I’ll leave you alone, I just wanted to clear the air between us.” I said, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door.

Harry got up as well and opened the door for me.

“Again, I deeply regret that I was the one who caused such misery for you.” I said before leaving.

“Thank you, Landon. I know you are not a bad person, it was just a bad situation.” He spoke with a weak smile.

I could barely take one step away from his room before I started crying. Suddenly, all the weight of my decision came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I hurried to my room while sobbing, trying to avoid anyone in the way.

Thankfully, it’s night so the staff is already gone for the day - except for the warriors on guard duty. I entered my room and bawled my eyes out in never ending tears that flowed through me.

It’s like all the guilt I never felt over my decision suddenly came crashing down on me, overwhelming me with all its might. I cried for the longest time, crushed under these feelings that I had somehow buried themselves within me.

Honestly, I was destroyed. Wrecked. I was the one who caused my mate to reject me. I didn’t have anyone else to blame but me. I did that. And though I am not so sure if I regret my decision, I know I regret causing my mate so much pain.

I walked into the dining hall the next morning even more sleepy than I was the day before. I barely greeted my family, I was in such a bad mood.

“Did something happen yesterday?” Mom inquired as she noticed my state.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, mom.” I muttered, distraught. Harry gulped awkwardly.

"It's fine, son. I’m here for you whenever you want to talk.” She smiled at me with a concerned expression on her face.

“Today is your day off, right? Are you going to do something fun, Landon?” Harry asked me, trying to defuse the awkward vibe.

“I’m gonna spend the day away from here.” I replied, impossibly broody. I couldn’t bring myself to fake a smile for anyone. I was wrecked.

“Right. Good for you. Have fun.” He spoke, uncomfortably gazing at me.

The entire room is exchanging awkward gazes among themselves. My family can sense the awkward vibe between me and Harry. I wish I was in a better place, but I can't fake it.

I already had to be strong for my family after my father died, I can't do the same now. This rejection is hurting me badly, though I really wish it wasn't. But I am only (mostly) human.

After breakfast, I took my car and drove to Gustavo's house. I didn't want to stay inside my room and he was the one person who I knew for sure was home.

His father opened the door for me. Because it's still early, they are setting the table for breakfast now. I make my way inside the familiar place and greet his mate who is in the kitchen.

Gustavo and Gray came downstairs together - because of course they would have slept together. It's Saturday and they are both on vacation, but I figured as much. That doesn’t bother me anymore.

"Good morning, Lan. What a pleasant surprise." Gustavo greeted me with a wide smile as he came into the kitchen with his mate by his side.

"Morning, Stavo. It's good that someone gets happy when they see me." I said in a sarcastic tone. All that were present gulped at this statement but remained quiet. Except for…

"Is your ugly mate giving you a hard time?" Grayson asked me with an evil grin.

"He is NOT ugly." I refuted, glaring at him. Not that I put much stock in beauty, but that boy is far from unattractive.

The mated couples took a seat at the table and I joined them. I watch as they serve themselves some breakfast. They offered me some, but I declined politely.

"I guess this rejection is hurting me more than I had anticipated." I admitted after an uncomfortable silence.

"It's to be expected, Landon. You have every right to be mad, to feel what you're feeling. It's normal considering what's expected of you." Javier told me in an empathizing tone.

“Honestly, I’m not that mad about not ascending as Alpha. I mean, I would’ve loved to ascend as my father had envisioned, but what hurts the most is that I’m left mateless for the rest of time.” I confessed, voice wrought with sadness.

Mr. and Mrs. Carillon, Grayson and Gustavo all feel bad for me and it showed on their faces. But it is what it is. There is a truth that cannot be escaped.

“I’m so sorry, Lan. You don’t deserve to be rejected by anyone.” Grayson spoke with sorrow.

“Thanks, Gray.” I smiled weakly at him, eyes misty with deep emotions.

Despite everything, I am glad to be in a safe space. I don’t like to demonstrate vulnerability in front of anyone, but if I ought to be, at least I am among people who I consider family to me.

After breakfast, Grayson returned to his home, giving Gustavo and me some room to talk privately. He knows I need my best friend and he respects our friendship. I stayed in the Carillon’s house until the afternoon, having lunch with them.

Later that day, I drove back home to rest up until dinner. I was still miserable about my situation with Harry, but that is not going to change any time soon. Though if we could at least talk to each other, I would be in a better mood.

There is a knock on my door. I got up to open it and was surprised to see my mate at my doorstep.

“Hi there. Come on in.” I greeted him joyfully, making way for him to enter my bedroom.

“Hi, Landon. I felt terrible about how we left our conversation last night, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I wasn’t trying to guilt trip you, I swear.” He said, feeling sorry for me.

“I understand, Harry. I didn’t think you were, you only spoke the truth.” I stated, feeling sorrowful. The truth hurts.

Harry sat on the chair as I took my seat on the bed, facing each other.

“I did, but I wanted to make sure we are in a good place. I know you only acted that way because of what my brother did. I don’t think you’re a bad person, as I said before.” He argued, persuasively.

“Thanks, mate. I appreciate you coming to talk to me. It's fine. We’re good.” I muttered, trying not to break down in front of him.

“I know you’re sad about the rejection. I know you feel guilty about it, but please don’t. I’m sure you are a great guy and would make any person happy to be your mate.” He tried to make me feel better.

“Just not you, right?” I snapped at him in a sarcastic tone.

He gulped awkwardly at my question.

“I don’t know how to answer that.” He replied, baffled.

“Thank you for stopping by, Harry. I appreciate the effort. See you at dinner.” I said, dismissively. I felt so broken inside, I could barely hold it in.

Harry looked at me with a pity stare.

“I don’t want you to feel like this. You’re so sad.” He stated, feeling sorry for me. I don’t know what is worse, the rejection or my mate pitying me.

“Of course I’m sad. What did you expect? That I’d be happy to be rejected? You didn’t even give me a chance!” I shouted, desperately.

Harry is taken aback by my tone and words, but I cannot hold back anymore.

“I’m so sorry, I just can’t betray my conscience.” He apologized, sorrowfully.

“I’m not asking you to. What I’m asking, begging you in fact, is to at least give me a chance, give us a chance!” I exclaimed, exasperating.

Harry is taken by surprise by my words and the deep vulnerability that I am showing. Honestly, I have nothing left to lose. I am already broken, so it cannot get any worse than it already is.

He starts sobbing and I cry too.

“This isn’t easy for me, you know? I have been dreaming about finding my mate for years. I never expected to be in this situation.” He confessed in tears.

I wanted to comfort him so badly. It was killing me not to hug him right now.

“Neither did I! I have been dreaming about finding my mate too! I didn’t ask for any of this. I would take it all back if I could have my father back, you have to know this!” I cried out as the tears flowed through me uncontrollably.

“I do know, Landon. I believe you.” He mumbled, barely able to enunciate.

Neither of us could help it any more. We both got up at the same time and darted for the hug. We met halfway and embraced each other in a comforting hug that had me in the clouds.

“I don’t want to feel this bad. I don’t want to make you feel guilty or bad. I just want you. I can’t help it. Everything in my being is begging me to stay close to you.” I confessed, deep within his embrace.

“I understand. I feel the same way, mate.” He agreed, vulnerably.

We kissed each other and my wolf howled inside my chest at the contact with our mate. It was everything I needed to heal the pain deep within me, even though it’s a temporary fix.

We collapsed on the bed in a continuous kiss that had both our eyes glowing in content and desire. I could barely hold anything back at this point.

I want him so bad. I would give anything in the world for him to always remain in my arms.

A|N: Oh, it's on!

Next comes the next phase of their relationship.

Actually, you don't wanna miss this next one. Stay tuned because it comes with a lot!

Love,

Léo.