Dec 2011.

Junior, High School.

"I'm the first one again," I muttered under my breath as I walked into the empty classroom. I placed my backpack on my seat, then shrugged off my long black hoodie coat. Heading toward the hanger near the door, I hung up my coat before returning to my desk.

With thirty minutes until class started, I crossed my arms over the desk and rested my head between them, hoping to catch a quick nap. As I closed my eyes, a chill tingled my skin—a reminder of the cold weather outside, but it only made the warmth of my seat more inviting.

I must've drifted off because, moments later, I felt someone's fingers softly running through my hair. Without lifting my head, I murmured, "Stop playing with my hair." I didn't need to look up to know it was Haru; his unique, familiar scent gave him away.

"Uh..." Haru's fingers froze. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Finally, I lifted my head, rubbing my eyes as I saw him seated at the desk next to mine, a relaxed smile on his face. "When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago," he replied, reaching over to grab my wrists, gently pulling my hands away from my face. "Don't rub your eyes like that."

I frowned, glaring at him. "You're developing a bad habit with this hair thing. Can't keep your hands out of it, can you?"

Haru chuckled sheepishly. "It's just... your hair's so soft and shiny, unlike mine. Mine is all frizzy and wavy. I can't resist touching it every time I see you."

Curious, I glanced up at his hair. "But it looks fine to me..."

He gave me a flat look. "Every girlfriend I've ever had has called me a hedgehog because of my hair."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, come on, that's an exaggeration!"

With a playful grin, Haru stood up, walked around to my side, and placed his hands on my shoulders. "I'll show you what they mean." Before I could react, he bent down and rubbed his head against the crook of my neck.

"OW! OW!" I winced, feeling the sharp tips of his hair prickling like tiny needles. I pushed at his chest, laughing through the discomfort. "Alright, I get it! Stop!"

Finally, he pulled back, crossing his arms in satisfaction. "Now you understand what I'm talking about!" He grinned, clearly pleased with himself.

I let out a sigh. "Maybe you need to straighten it... or try some conditio-"

But Haru interrupted, his tone shifting. "By the way, we have a basketball match today after school. Will you come to watch?"

I responded, hesitating. "I'm... not really into basketball..."

Haru held my gaze, his expression serious. "I want you to be there."

Somehow, before I realized it, I found myself mumbling, "Okay." The word slipped out as if I had no choice, almost like he'd cast a spell over me.

Since when have I started giving in?

*****

I entered the gymnasium as Haru and his teammates warmed up for their game. Quietly, I made my way to the bleachers, choosing a seat in the middle row. A group of girls sat nearby, already cheering for Haru even though the match hadn't begun. They were clearly fans, each of them watching him intently.

Haru spotted me as he finished his stretches, waving his hand enthusiastically from across the court. He loves these embarrassing displays... I gave a quick, awkward wave back before lowering my hand, hoping no one noticed. Pulling out my sketchbook and a pen, I started sketching as the game kicked off, the gym coming alive with the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished floor and the echo of players' voices.

As the game commenced, Haru moved across the court with effortless grace, weaving around opponents with impressive agility. His hair bounced with each step, his gaze focused and intense. Every time he scored, the girls erupted into cheers, their excitement filling the gym. His presence commanded my attention, and though I wasn't one to get drawn into the excitement of sports, I couldn't help but feel captivated by the way he dominated the game. It was like watching a scene unfold in slow motion.

After the final buzzer sounded, Haru's team emerged victorious. Grinning widely, Haru bounded up the bleacher stairs toward me, his hair damp with sweat and his face flushed with pride. "How was I?" he asked, his eyes bright with excitement. "Did you see how cool I was?"

I closed my sketchbook and nodded. "Yeah, good job."

He blinked at me, then shook his head in exasperation. "Why are your reactions always so deadpan?"

I tilted my head, raising an eyebrow. "How else am I supposed to react?"

Haru shrugged. "I don't know... maybe a little more excitedly?"

Dumbfounded, I stared at him. "But I just reacted excitedly."

Haru sighed, running his hand through his hair to push it back. "The one thing I definitely didn't see in you was excitement."

Rolling my eyes, I held my thumbs up in exaggerated approval. "You've done weeeeeell!" I said with mock enthusiasm before letting my hands drop and returning to my usual expression. "Happy now?"

Haru burst into laughter, doubling over. "Oh my god... what's wrong with you, seriously?" He laughed so hard that his eyes began to tear up.

Just then, a group of three girls—the same ones who'd been cheering him on—approached us, holding snacks and drinks. "Haru Sunbae, congratulations on your win! You played amazingly!" one of the girls said, her smile wide as the others nodded eagerly, handing him the treats.

Haru flashed them a brilliant smile, his white teeth showing. "Thank you so much!" He even threw in a wink. "Make sure to come to my other matches, alright?"

The girls giggled, their faces turning as red as tomatoes, and hurried off, clearly flustered by his attention.

Haru set the drinks and snacks down on the empty seat beside him, then casually rested an arm over my shoulders. "Did you see that? That is the reaction I was talking about."

I shot him a cool look. "If that's what you want, go hang out with them instead of me." An unexpected twinge of irritation crept up inside me.

Laughing, he wrapped his other arm around me in a playful hug. "Nah, I just need my exclusive robot," he teased. "Hehe..."

I glared at him, swatting his hand away. "You!"

Noticing my annoyance, he quickly switched topics, his eyes landing on my sketchbook. "What's this?" Before I could react, he snatched it from my lap and started flipping through the pages. "Whoa!"

I reached out to grab it back, but he sprang to his feet, holding it just out of reach, his eyes glued to the sketches. "You're seriously talented!" he exclaimed, his voice full of admiration.

"Give it back!" I stood up, reaching for it.

He held me back with his free hand on my chest, his gaze still fixed on the drawings. "Why have you never shown me these? You're an artist!"

"They're not that good," I muttered, feeling my face flush. "Stop overreacting and give it back!" I stretched my arms, trying to snatch the sketchbook.

"I'm not overreacting!" he insisted, finally handing it back. "You're really talented! Are you planning to study art in college?"

Clutching the sketchbook against my chest, I felt my cheeks heat up. "You're the only one who thinks that way..." I mumbled, tucking my things back into my backpack without looking at him.

I wanted to study art...

But my dad never liked the idea...

So I let it go a long time ago.

*****

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, adjusting my bangs so they fell just right over my forehead. Pulling on a black denim jacket over my white sweater, I checked my look one last time. My dark gray baggy jeans completed the outfit, giving me a slightly edgy, casual look. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the house.

Today, we were all meeting in a karaoke room to celebrate my birthday—a plan Shiwoo had insisted on, even though I'd never been one for parties or big gatherings.

As I walked next door, I felt my heart beating a little faster than usual. I shoved my hands into my jacket pockets to keep warm as the crisp winter air bit at my skin, my breath escaping in small, white clouds. I pressed the doorbell, waiting in the cold until Sunny opened the door; her face lit up with a smile.

"Let me grab my bag!" she said with a grin before darting back inside. "Mom, I'm heading out!" she called into the house.

She returned in an instant, shutting the door behind her. "Let's go, birthday boy!" she said cheerfully, looping her arm through mine as we started down the street.

Sunny looked effortlessly beautiful, wearing a light blue Chanel-style coat over fitted jeans, her feet snug in white UGG boots that matched her white crossbody bag. Her cinnamon-colored hair framed her face perfectly, loose and flowing, and a hint of pink lip gloss accented her smile. The sight of her made me smile without even realizing it.

Walking beside her, I felt a familiar warmth. Sunny had been my neighbor and closest friend growing up; we'd spent countless hours playing together as kids. Now, she was two years ahead of me, studying art in college. I'd liked her for as long as I could remember, though I couldn't pinpoint exactly when those feelings started. But I never found the courage to tell her how I felt; she'd always treated me like a little brother, and I knew that was how she still saw me.

~

We stepped into the karaoke room, where Shiwoo, his younger brother, two of his friends, and their girlfriends were already inside, laughing and singing along to the blaring music.

Haru isn't here yet, I thought, glancing around as Sunny and I found a seat. I grabbed a can of iced coffee and scanned the room. The walls were decorated with colorful lights that pulsed to the beat of the music, creating a vibrant, almost dizzying atmosphere. The karaoke machine was playing a popular song, and everyone was either belting out the lyrics or laughing, their voices blending with the energetic melody. Ugh, I thought, I already want to leave, but it's my own birthday party... no escaping this one.

Sunny, on the other hand, seemed to be having a great time. She was chatting with the girls, laughing and munching on chips as if she belonged right there in the chaos. I could sense how comfortable she looked, completely absorbed in the lively conversation around her.

After about ten minutes, the door opened, and Haru finally walked in—along with a girl at his side. She had long, curly black hair, striking black eyes, and fair skin. She was almost as tall as Haru, which likely made her taller than me. They greeted everyone in the room before making their way toward us. Haru settled into the empty spot to my left, and his apparent date took the seat beside him.

I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling out of place as I sat there, sandwiched between Haru and Sunny. Should I go to the bathroom for a moment?... I took a sip of my iced coffee, hoping the cold would steady me.

Just then, I felt Haru's hand rest gently on my shoulder. I turned toward him, surprised, and found him studying me with concern. "What's wrong? You look pale," he asked quietly.

I shrugged his hand off, wriggling away. "I'm fine," I muttered.

Haru pulled back, his gaze lingering on me, his expression uncertain. I was about to offer a quick reassurance, but something caught my attention on the other side of me—Sunny was talking animatedly with the other girls, her face flushed as she shared something.

"He's a senior, same major," she said, her eyes bright and her cheeks slightly pink. "I've been dating him for a little while now."

The words hit me like a punch. I knew I'd never had a real chance. I knew that she'd never see me as anything more than a friend. Yet hearing it out loud still hurt, a hollow ache spreading through my chest.

I averted my gaze, focusing instead on Shiwoo's younger brother, Shian, who was singing with exaggerated gestures, his voice terribly off-key. But even the distraction wasn't enough to shake the feeling of coldness that spread through me. My hands clenched tightly in my lap as the feeling of suffocation grew.

~

Though Haru's attention had been on the girl beside him, he must have noticed my reaction since I sat there in silence for a few minutes without talking to anyone. His hand reached down, covering my clenched fist in a quiet gesture of comfort. I glanced at him, but the kindness in his expression only made me feel more exposed. Furrowing my brows, I gritted my teeth and pulled my hand away. I don't need anyone's pity...

Haru looked at me again, his mouth opening as if to say something, but before he could, Shiwoo approached with a cake, the candles already lit. Everyone gathered around, their voices rising in a chorus as they began to sing.

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday, dear Myung...

Shiwoo held the cake out for me, grinning. "Make a wish, then blow out the candles!"

I stared at the flickering flames, each one dancing with a life of its own, casting warm light across the faces around me. A wish... My mind went blank. Do I even have a wish?

After a moment, a thought surfaced, slipping into my mind unbidden;

Maybe just to be loved. By someone. By anyone.

I blew out the candles carelessly, feeling the weight of unspoken thoughts settle over me.

If there's one piece of advice I could give,

Be careful what you wish for.

Be specific about what you want.

Because you never know what might come your way if you don't think it through.