Our 19th birthday party finally arrived. A grand celebration that started with hors d'oeuvres and polite conversation slowly morphed into loud laughter and drunken dancing. By sunset, the ballroom was packed with guests dancing and laughing, with guards practically mounted to the walls. 

Camilla and I were stuck greeting guests until evening, watching others have fun while our butts got sore. When our duties were over, we slithered through the crowd in search of Eva and her husband. We dragged them out of the ballroom, and nearly collapsed into the hallway. 

The halls weren’t as crowded, but still full of guests and servants speed walking to and from the kitchen with silver platters in their hands. I stopped one of them -Miriam, if I remember her name correctly- and asked, “Have you seen Happy?”

“Oh, yeah, I saw him leave the kitchen with food scraps not too long ago. He's probably at the compost pile.”

“Thanks," I replied, and went on my way alone, as the others set course for the library.

Miriam did a double take and stammered a “no problem” in response as I cut through the kitchen to get to the back door. Compared to the blazing heat of the kitchen, the night air was refreshing. A few steps from the back door were wattled baskets made of twigs, large enough for humans to nest in. Composting bins that Happy made when he first got here, and has managed to fill up four times over just from our food scraps and discarded letters. 

Happy finished emptying the bucket from the kitchen and turned to me before I had the chance to call out to him. His face lifted into a smile. “Leo, happy birthday!”

As if it were magic, the dread and stress of this party washed away. My heart jumped into gear with puppy-like excitement, screaming 'he gave me attention!'. I couldn't contain my giggle. “Thanks.” 

Happy took off his gardening gloves, and reached into his pocket. “I know it’s not much, but I have a gift for you and Camilla.” 

I let my excitement carry me forward. “You got me a gift?” 

His eyes widened and he stumbled back when I leapt forward. He averted his gaze to the side, and kept a tight fist around the gift in his hand. “Please don’t get excited, it’s not worth anything.” 

“But-!” I caught myself before I shouted but it’s from you! “Gifts from friends always mean more to me than anything else, so of course I’m excited.” 

A blush crept on his ears, but he didn’t look my way. He opened up his hand to reveal two bracelets made of colourful thread. One was a blue gradient that lightly faded into the sun, while the other depicted the growing stages of a flower. 

I let out a soft gasp. “Are these friendship bracelets?” 

Happy didn’t say anything, but the blush rapidly spread down his neck. I jumped into a hug, pressing my cheek against his, and held onto him like he’d fly away without an anchor. 

“L-Leo, I’m going to get your clothes all dirty-”

“Thank you, Happy. I love your gift.”

I could feel the tension in his back ease, as he slowly wrapped his arms around my neck and leaned his head against mine. 

Happy let out a sigh from his throat, his whole body lightening with the exhale. His head shifted in a way that the ghost of his lips were against my collar. 

My eyelids fluttered with my heart. “Happy-”

The back door slammed open and woke me from my trance.

“What’s taking so long, let’s go,” Camilla demanded, oblivious to the situation. 

To save face, I prayed that Camilla would have a bigger reaction than mine. “Camilla, Happy made us friendship bracelets!”

And she was reliable as ever. Camilla let out a gasp loud enough for the kitchen staff to stop and look over. “Let me see!”

Camilla jumped out from the doorway with a wide grin on her face. She gave Happy a big, but brief hug and put the flower bracelet on herself. I took the chance to put mine on too, giving myself butterflies at the thought that Happy made me a little sun to carry around. 

Camilla pulled us back into the mayhem, and we squeezed through the staff and made our way to the library, where Eva and her husband were sitting on the carpeted flooring instead of sitting around the desk as usual. Camilla plopped down beside them, and dragged Happy down with her. 

Camilla held up a bottle of hard liquor I hadn't noticed she brought along, and shouted, “Happy birthday to me!” and fell back against the bookshelf, where two empty bottles rattled. Ah, she’s already drunk. 

“Now we drink,” Camilla announced, and spilled alcohol into empty shot glasses for all of us. 

About 20 minutes into our own party, everyone was starting to talk as loud as Camilla. They’d abandoned individual glasses by the second bottle, and started taking swigs from the bottle itself. Camilla took the new bottle first, before handing it to Zakarya on her right.

Like a true soldier of the military, Zakarya tipped his head back and gulped down on the liquor like a fish out of water. Camilla and Eva cheered with delight and pride, chanting “chug chug chug!”. Eva eagerly took the bottle from him while Camilla kept screaming a cheer and shook him by the shoulders. He puffed up his chest in pride, and muttered how “that was nothing, you should see me and the boys on a night off in town.”

Camilla threw an arm around his shoulder and leaned in as if to whisper in his ear, but spoke loud enough for all of us to hear. “You gotta invite me out to a pub with you and your friends one of these days, the castle is so bo-ring with that sober mess,” she slurred, while half-heartedly pointing my way. Her eyes shifted and she reached across the circle to grab Happy's hands. “Oh, but it's not boring with you around, Happy.”

“Oh!” Zakarya exclaimed, shocking everyone into alertness. “You're Happy the farmer, right?” Happy nodded his head, which started to droop before he shook himself awake. “I've heard a lot about you, you're one cool dude.”

“'m not a dude,” Happy said under his breath.

“Huh?” everyone, including myself, said in sync. Happy curled up against Eva, hiding behind her arm.

Eva shifted slightly so she could caress his head. “Happy?”

His eyes fluttered open and he sighed. “I didn't want to correct you when I first got here.” Happy pressed his face into Eva's arm again.

My chest tightened. “I'm sorry, we shouldn't've assumed.”

Like a child hiding behind their parent’s leg, Happy moved his face away from Eva’s arms slightly to look at me with doe eyes. He shifted his weight away from Eva, and buried his face into my arm, mumbling, “'s okay, I should've said something.” He rubbed his face on my arm, before slowly looking up into my eyes and resting his chin on my shoulder. My breath hitched.

Meanwhile Camilla sniffled loud enough to catch our attention again; she was right in front of Happy's face, eyes watering and snot dripping. “Thank you for sharing this with us.” She threw her arms around Happy, and pulled him into her chest. I turned my head away, cleared my throat and fixed my tie in an attempt to compose myself, while Camilla sobbed about secret sharing between best friends.

When Camilla finally released Happy, Eva handed them the bottle of alcohol. There was a stark contrast between her soothing voice against Camilla's whining. “So, what is your gender?” As quickly as Eva asked, she frantically added, “If you don't mind sharing, that is!”

Happy sighed in relief. “I'm nonbinary.”

“Um, what're your pronouns?” I inquired.

Happy smiled before leaning up against me again, which kicked my heartrate into overdrive. “Any pronouns are fine, thank you for asking.” He sighed contently and snuggled his cheek into my arm, which drew a goofy smile out of me.

Happy opened his eyes and looked down at the bottle in his hands, then pushed it in my direction. “I'm already pretty drunk, so I'm gonna pass on this.”

“What,” Camilla dragged out the word, and leaned forward to get into Happy's face. “You're as sober as Leo. What're you, afraid of a little alcohol? You a lightweight or somethin'?” Camilla slurred.

I gently pushed Camilla away. “Hey, if he doesn't want to drink, then he doesn't have to. Stop pressuring them-” I attempted to mediate, but Happy took a confident swig from the bottle, eliciting a cheer from Camilla and Zakarya.

Happy popped the bottle off his lip and handed it off to me, finishing the circle of sharing. To my embarrassment, my first thought was an indirect kiss with Happy. Luckily they were all too drunk to notice the blush on my face.

I set the bottle behind me, hoping the concept of 'out of sight, out of mind' would come into effect now. The group dove back into conversation, filled with overly emotional responses from Camilla and enthusiasm from Zakarya. Eva was cracking jokes like she’d never been shy before, and had a hearty laughter in her drunken state. But I started losing focus on the conversation as Happy's consciousness started to dip in and out.

“Are you okay, Happy?” I asked, still supporting his head with my shoulder.

“Mhm, just a little...” his words drifted off.

“Maybe you should go to bed. I'll help you get there, okay?”

Just as I swung my arm around his waist, Camilla interjected with, “This is a sleepover party, he's not allowed to go back to his room tonight.”

I almost dropped Happy then and there.

Camilla grabbed onto my shirt and pulled herself up, nearly dragging Happy and I down with her weight. “So the both of you go to bed early, okay? You gotta sleep in my room too, Leo.”

I couldn't tell if she was too drunk to know what she was saying, or she was a demon in disguise.

I escaped Camilla's grasp, and walked Happy through the library door. As it closed behind us, I heard Camilla shout with glee, “Ooh, more alcohol!” and the sound of a half-empty bottle sloshing around.

I set Happy down on one side of the bed, laying him on his side instead of on his back, in case he threw up. I moved to the complete opposite side and curled up on the edge, but still feared he could hear my heart from this great of a distance. 

But true fear set in when Happy crawled across the bed and pressed his forehead against my back. I nearly rolled off the bed from the shock, but he gently grabbed onto the back of my shirt like a sleepy child and I froze. “G'night Leo.”

I pressed my palms to my burning face to hide my shame from the gods, but they cackled at my internal panic. I listened to the soft snoring of Happy for what felt like hours, unable to be lulled even by the adorable faint whistle from his nose.

When I finally managed to unclench my whole body, my hip pressed against the mattress was sore and numb. It took me a bit longer to work up the courage to flip over, because well, I'd be facing Happy. As I did, all of my worries eased into the background. His hair was messy and covering half of his face. On impulse, I carefully brushed his hair away from his eyes. His forehead was lighter than the rest of skin, and his dark eyebrows weren't bleached by the sun like the hair on his head.

I'd never been close enough to notice the light freckles that decorated his skin. Or the beauty mark on his left eyelid. “You're so beautiful,” I barely whispered as I tucked his hair behind his ear.

He wearily opened his eyes at the touch.

I did end up rolling off the bed, crashing onto the floor with a gasp.

“Leo?”

What'd I just do?

Happy swung his legs off the bed, but I shot up. Oh my gods. I was burning up, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Did he hear what I said?

“Leo, are you-”

I fled the scene. I raced to my bedroom, looking to roll myself into my comforter and lay there until it became my grave. 

But the gods would not let me die in peace. 

“Where do you think you're going?” Camilla shouted out from across the hallway, still fixing her dress after going to the toilet. “You better not be going to your room, you're not allowed to ditch my sleepover!”

“Camilla, I-”

“It's my birthday, you gotta do what I say.”

It's my birthday too! But my frustration didn't come in the form of a retort. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “I did something really stupid, I can't- I'm just so fucking stupid.”

Camilla’s anger softened immediately. “Hey,” she said in a comforting tone, and approached me slowly. “What happened?”

“I’ve been so weird today, I just- every time I’m around him… Happy's going to realize I have a crush on him.”

Camilla stopped in her step.

“What if I ruined everything? What if I made him uncomfortable? What if he's disgusted by me?”

“I’m not!” 

I lifted my head from my hands, but my heart dropped to my stomach. Camilla looked at me with sorrow, then behind me, at Happy. I spun around, but with tears clouding my eyes so I could barely even see him. Yet, the mortification consumed me. 

He was cradling his hands against his chest, when his eyes started to water as well. Happy started, “I-”

“I'm gonna be sick,” Camilla complained. As soon as she had said it, she started puking like a fountain, launching vomit onto my whole back and the carpet.

I screamed. 

I screamed and leapt out of the way as if that'd do anything to protect me now. I could feel the vomit seeping through my clothes and touching my skin. Happy hopped forward to pull Camilla's hair back as she fell down to gag and cry.

I wanted to cry, too. It took everything in me not to dry heave from the smell alone, but it was a fruitless effort. “Leo, are you okay?” Happy asked, reaching out to me and looking back and forth at Camilla and I with worry.

Just as Camilla puked again, this time only on the carpet, Janet the maid turned into the hall. “Janet!” Happy shouted out, “Get help, the royal twins are sick!”

We could feel the floor rumbling as all the staff ran to our aid; Happy had leaned Camilla against the wall by the time they arrived.

“My throat hurts,” Camilla whined in a hoarse voice.

“Here, my lady, we have a cup of water for you to drink.”

As one of the maids carefully tilted the glass of water to her lips, I was scooped up like a small dog, and hurried to the bathroom and stripped down. I was scrubbed with fragrant soaps and soaked in clean hot water, then dried and dressed without having to think.

The rest of the night was a blur, and somehow I ended up in my bed, drifting off to sleep. Just as my consciousness started to fade into fantasy, my eyes snapped open with a dreaded realization.

Happy knows I like him.