I looked at Caio and spoke again.
“Call or text Alessio so he can come help you.”
“No. I don’t want his help.”
“Caio, you're heavily bleeding and—-”
“Then do something about it.” He said. Not moving his hand that held my arm tightly.
“I am trying Caio, I am trying to get you to text Alessio—--”
“I don’t want his help. Listen.”
Sighing, I spoke. “Hold this, so I can get more tissues. Then I need to call my brother and ask what I should do.”
“Matteo, I give you my word. I didn’t kiss her.”
“Why not? It was everything you wanted?” I asked, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“She didn’t want me. She wanted to make a scene. She has done just that too.” Caio hissed, taking hold of his nose. “I wanted her to want me, not want to use me.”
I grabbed a few more tissues and walked over. He moved his hand, and I pressed the new tissues to his nose. He grabbed my wrist.
“Matteo. I wouldn’t kiss her. Not like that.”
“What’s done is done, Caio.”
“Please don’t punish me for what she’s done.”
“Alessio has already done that. I have no intentions of adding to it.”
Pulling my phone out with my free hand. Caio yanked it out of my hand and threw it away.
“Caio! What the hell!”
“You didn’t listen to me earlier when I told you I didn’t kiss her. Listen to me now, Matteo. I didn’t kiss her.”
“I got it. You didn’t kiss her! But why the hell would you throw away my phone?” I yelled, annoyed.
“You can’t call for Alessio now.”
“How fucking hard did he hit you!” I yelled, getting frustrated with him.
“Not as hard as he would have you believe.” Alessio said, coming into the room, holding my phone in his hand.
“Go away.” Caio grunted.
“I’ve come to check your nose.” He said.
“I don’t want your help.”
“Yeah, I know. Trust me.” Alessio said, setting my phone on the chair and grabbing a pair of gloves and slipping them on. He left to grab some more gauze.
“Matteo, come here.” Alessio called for me.
“Here, hold your nose.”
“Don’t leave.” Caio said, holding my arm.
“Just hold your damn nose.”
He took the tissues and held his nose. I met Alessio out in the hallway. We walked to the supply closet and spoke.
“I came because you didn’t answer my text and I saw Caio freak out on the cameras.”
“Who’s the creep now?” I muttered.
“Not funny, Matteo.”
“I told Caio I would get my things and leave his space and he didn’t want me to leave. He threw my phone so that you wouldn’t come here, and so that I couldn’t leave him alone.”
“He knew you wouldn’t leave him alone.”
“Yes.”
Alessio just shook his head as he grabbed a bunch of things. He grabbed an extra pair of gloves for me in case he needed my help. Back in the room, Caio frowned when Alessio came in behind me.
“I’m sorry I hit you, Caio.” Alessio said, while he took the tissue off Caio’s nose.
“You sure?” Caio snapped.
“Yes. Caio, I’m sure.”
“I didn’t fucking kiss her.” Caio said again.
“I know. I saw you push her away. But I was mad about the whole thing. I stewed in my anger and I hit you in the hallway.”
“I was trying to find Matteo!” He yelled.
“Why?” I asked.
Caio spit blood on Alessio’s hand as he talked. And Alessio pinched his nose and leaned him forward. “I wanted to explain myself to you. I need you to know I didn’t kiss her.”
“Even so, you locked me in your bedroom.”
“You were going to tell your mother you hated her, and you fucking bit my fingers, remember?”
“Not hard enough to hurt you. And you should have let me tell her I hate her. I am allowed to feel that way, Caio.”
“I was trying to keep you from losing your mother.”
“Caio! I don’t want her. She is cruel and makes everything everyone else’s fault! The only reason she doesn’t go after Alessio anymore is because he has Lev and Andrei. I don’t have that.”
“Yes, you do.” Alessio said.
“Caio, what she did to me today, I don’t think I can ever forgive her for that. She knew her actions would hurt me.” I said, my eyes stinging just thinking about her kissing him. “You were just a pawn in her game to hurt me.”
“Neither of you deserved what she did tonight. She played with both of your feelings, and she knew it.” Alessio said.
Alessio let Caio sit up once he was sure the bleeding had stopped and apologized again. Caio ignored him, standing up.
“I’ll take a look at everything in the morning and—--”
“Don’t bother.” Caio said.
“I’ll make sure he comes back.” I said.
“How are you going to make sure that happens if you’re leaving?” Caio said.
“You didn’t ask me to go.” I said, knowing that we should just part ways, but I didn’t want to say goodbye to him again. I picked up my phone and his pillow and I followed him back to the complex. He opened the door to the wing, and I stopped at the door.
“Get in here.” Caio said, pulling me inside. Caio closed the door, and the lock flipped into place and he kicked his shoes off. He shook his head, looking at my bare foot. He walked off to the bathroom, and I heard him turn the washer on.
Following behind him, I threw the pillow on the couch. He was pulling his clothing off in the bathroom when I got there. I gave him space and went into his bedroom. Everything was still where I left it after my tantrum. Picking through the clothing on the floor, I found some of the clothing still dry and not dirty. I shook them off and set them on the bed.
Moving his dresser back. I put the drawers back in. And put the clothing on the bed away.
“What are you doing?”
“Cleaning up my tantrum.” I said. I turned to look at Caio and his face was bruising. I felt terrible. “I’m sorry he hit you.”
“He couldn’t hit your mother, could he?”
“He said the same thing.” I muttered.
“I don’t get it.” Caio said. Coming into the bedroom fully and sitting down on the bed.
“Of course you don’t. You didn’t see the way she treated Alessio in private, how she treated me in private. She is a kind, loving mother in public. In private, she is cruel, rude and cares for no one, her children included.” I said, picking up more of his clothing and shaking it off before refolding it.
“Alessio doesn’t really see your mother. He sees her on holidays and the times she drops off Gabriele. That’s it.”
“Now you know why. Andrei and Lukas were the best thing to happen to Alessio then, and now he has Lev too.”
“Matteo…”
“What?”
“You can worry about cleaning it all in the morning. It’s late.”
“It’s fine. I’m not tired. But if you are, and the light will bother you, you can sleep in the spare room. I’ll wake you up when I’m done.”
“Come here.” Caio said.
“Why?”
“Please, just do it.”
Standing up, I walked the three feet to the bed and sat down, putting space between us. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“She hurt me today too, Matteo.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault.”
“It feels like it.”
“You’re not responsible for your mother’s actions.”
“Yes, but if I would have handled my feelings better than and now, none of this would have happened.”
“You were sixteen—-”
“I’m not anymore. Caio, I’m nineteen. I need you to be honest with me. If it’s the only thing you do for me.”
“Alright.”
“Is there ever a chance for us?”
“Honestly, Matteo. I don’t know.” Caio said, removing his arm from around my shoulders. “Give me time to think about this.”
“Alright.”
Caio laid back on the bed, and I picked up all the clothes. Clean, not wet stuff got folded and put back into the drawers. The dirty stuff went into his laundry basket. I used the boot to move the chunks of the lamp closer to the wall. Caio passed out on his back. I got a good look at the bruises forming around his nose now. I stood there and watched him for a few minutes before I flicked the light off, leaving the door open. I grabbed Caio’s pillow on the way back to the spare room.
I knew this could end badly for both of us. He could hurt me, and I could hurt him. But if there was even a sliver of a chance, this could work out. I needed to take it. But my mother would need to be dealt with. I couldn’t stand her any longer.
In the space room, I laid with Caio’s pillow under my chest. I was sending Alessio a long text message. I read it aloud to myself to make sure it made sense.
“Alessio. Since I don’t wish to speak to her again. Ever. Let her know that privately we don’t have a relationship. Publicly, I will be respectful and civil to an extent. But outside of public affairs, I don’t want to see her, speak to her, or even be in the same room as her. I just can’t do this all over again.”
Looking at the message and reading it silently again. I sent it to him and hoped he would pass it along. Getting up, I turned off the light and took the shit boot off once I got back in the bed. I wrapped around my newly stolen pillow and closed my eyes.
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