Three days passed quietly without Alessio and I speaking. Caio assured me it wasn’t because I had done something, just that he was busy. This was normal, he said. Alessio would go days, just working and going home to Lev.
“Is he like this often? Just working and sleeping?” I asked.
“Alessio takes his work pretty seriously. He spends his time away with Lev and I’m sure they do things together.”
“Right. To be married.” I said.
“Your brother is happy with Lev.”
“I know.”
“I’m sure your brother will come see you shortly.” Caio said. Working on Vito’s paperwork on his computer in the office, he had in his wing. I understood I was probably bothering Caio. I was angry that he loved my mother, but he was just like me, hopelessly in love with someone who didn’t want you. Like before, everything happened, and Caio found out about my love for him. I wanted to be around him. Even if it hurts to do so.
Even though I had drawn the line in the sand, in my mind. Telling myself that I didn’t want to be around Caio. In three days, I was hovering far too close, too soon, again. Three years away had not changed how I felt about this man.
“Sorry. I’ll find something to do.” I muttered.
Shaking my head as I walked away from him. I knew Caio was uncomfortable when I pointed out things he liked, did or I watched him for too long. Together in this space, for three days alone, was enough time for it to be a little more than just a touch awkward.
“Caio. I’m going to bother Alessio.”
“Matteo, he—-Oh just go.” He groaned, frustrated with something.
Shoeless again, I wandered around the halls of Alessio’s complex. I raised my hand to knock, but Luca spoke.
“Alessio is in a meeting with Maddox.”
“Of course he is.” I sighed.
“Did you need something?”
“No. Not particularly.” I muttered.
“Matteo, I’ll let him know you want to see him.”
“Eh, don’t bother. He’s busy.” I said, walking away. The boot making annoying sounds on the carpets used to protect the floors. I wandered around some more, leaving Alessio’s complex to wander outside in the sunshine. Someone came running out of Maddox’s complex and smacked into me, as I wasn’t really paying attention. They grabbed my arm to keep me from falling.
“Shit sorry—Matteo, holy fuck!”
Looking up, Nikki, Alexi’s younger brother, had my arm, and he wasn’t young anymore. He was taller, and larger than me, and god, he looked like Alessio and Alexi.
“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Neither was I, to be fair. I mean, Alessio said you came back, but I didn’t actually believe him.”
“Haha, yeah. I returned.”
“You looked good, minus the boot.” Nikki said, looking me up and down. He checked his watch and swore again. “Hey, I want to catch up with you, Matteo, but I have to get my daughter from daycare. Before grumpy gills accuses me of using day care as a second parent.”
“Oh. Don’t let me keep you.”
Nikki ran off to a vehicle and started it, leaving in a hurry. Alexi was the next one to try to run me down, holding something in his hand. He swore in Italian.
“You just missed him.” I said.
Alexi turned his head. Looking me up and down, his face showed a few different emotions before he finally spoke.
“So Alessio snapped your leg like a toothpick, huh?”
“Foot. Not leg.”
“Whatever.”
“When did Nikki have a daughter?” I asked, without thinking twice about it.
“Nikki had a daughter a few months after you left. He is living in your brother’s old place here.”
“Oh. Huh.”
“Funny how things change when you’re hiding out in Italy, huh?”
“How much did Alessio tell you?”
“Enough.”
“Right.” I knew Alessio would tell Alexi. They were close. I knew I had seen it firsthand.
“I don’t agree with all Alessio’s choices. You staying with Caio, being one of them choices”
“He told you everything.” I sighed.
“To be fair, I pressured him into telling me where the hell you had been and why you left.”
“Alessio was in the dark about a lot of what happened.”
“Yeah. He told me your mother did not share a lot of that night’s events with him. That he found out from you.”
“Yeah. She kept that happened that night limited to us three.”
“Three?”
“Yeah. Caio, her and I.”
“God. And Alessio put you right back into it with Caio.” Alexi said, shaking his head.
“Caio and I are getting along for the most part. I am giving him space and being respectful. It’s awkward, but I think once Alessio is sure I’m not going to run away again, I’ll be able to give Caio back his space.”
“Look if you need anything, and I mean it, anything. You just let me know, and Creed and I will make sure we can help you. Even if it’s just letting you sleep in our spare room for a while.”
“Alessio and I have a lot to figure out. Once we do, I think it will be somewhat normal again.”
“I hope so. He’s a little prickly these days.”
“Andrei told me that. And Caio told me he spends most of his days with Lev.”
“Yes, your brother and his shadow are inseparable. But I enjoy seeing him happy.”
“I’m happy he had and has Lev.”
Alexi checked his phone and clicked his tongue. “Hey, I have to take this, but don’t be a stranger, Matteo, seriously. We are pretty much family.”
I wandered back to Alessio’s complex, just in time for him to be walking Maddox out of the office.
“Matteo. Nice to see you’ve returned.” Maddox said.
“I’m sorry about the fight on your front lawn. That is my fault.” I said. Looking at the hardwood floor before looking up at him.
Maddox set his hand on my shoulder. “Dont worry about it. Feelings were strong and Alessio has already assured me you two won’t be throwing fists or breaking feet again.” He said, glancing at Alessio while he said the last of his sentence.
“I certainly hope we won’t be. I have every intention of keeping my hands to myself.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. I’ll see you around.” He waved, and Alessio sighed the minute he was gone.
“He is nicer to you about it than he was me.”
“Is that so?” I said.
“He used his ‘you’re being a naughty child’ father voice on me. He went on and on about how I should know better than to hit, and—-It was just enough.”
“Do you always just do work and keep to yourself, with Lev? Caio told me you spend all your free time with Lev, and I get it you're married, but please tell me you two go out and do things or—--”
“Are you worried about me, little brother?”
“Genuinely, yes.” I said.
“I don’t work all the time. I split my time here and in the medical building. Lev and I definitely do things. I like to spend my free time with Lev. He doesn’t annoy me like Alexi or dad. That being said, we all still make plans to do things. But I don’t just drop in to annoy them.” Alessio said, smiling softly.
“If you need help, I’m here.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I have underbosses for that.”
“I am aware of that. But still.”
“Vito is mad at you, Matteo. He said Emilio is the most clueless person when it comes to his own work. He fully blames you for that.”
“Yes. I know. But I tried to warn him that Emilio was a moron.”
“I sincerely appreciate the work you did behind the scenes in Italy for me.”
“Eh, It made my life easier. It was all just a distraction.”
“Speaking of making life easier, you should come into the office and let me close the door. So that we can have a discussion about mom. I think it’s going to be uncomfortable for us both.”
“Yeah. I think we really should talk about mom.”
Heading into his office, he closed the door, and I sat down in one of the chairs, and he sat down in the rolling chair behind the desk. He moved a bunch of things off his desk and leaned back in the chair.
“She’s called me every night since you got here.”
“And?”
“What do I say to her, Matteo? I feel a certain way towards her about everything. Knowing what I do now about that night, I just feel gross. Her words to you were wrong, but I don’t want this to be a large fight. She will see my words to her as attacking if I tell her she was in the wrong that night. And further, I won’t be able to stop myself from telling her she kept important information about when you left from me.”
“I get it. I also feel a certain way about her. Her words from that night have travelled with me. That aside, what are you going to tell her about this?” I said, setting my booted foot on his desktop.
“Yeah, then there’s that too.” He groaned.
“Look. We can’t just ignore the things that happened three years ago. But we also can’t just ignore her. Alessio, eventually she will just get mad and come here, demanding her way around. That is the way she is.”
“She hurt you with her words, Matteo. Not me. You have the full control of if and when you want to see her.”
“When do you see her next?”
“She brings me our kid brother on the weekends, and Lev and I take him to go do things. Do you want to join us? Or do you want to tell Mom that you’re open to speaking with her then?”
“Yeah. Tell her I’m open to speaking with her then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. But I’m not going to fight with her, Alessio. If she is still firm on her words from then, I won’t entertain her. I’ll just walk away from her, and further conversations.”
“You’re not going to leave again?”
“No. I have no intentions of leaving again.”
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