15-Denial

Brandon's pov

This past week has been pretty...much hell.

I'm still not over what happened last week. Everything was going well between Garrett and me, then he suddenly asks us to take a break.

As much as I hate doing this, I've been trying to understand what went wrong. I know I f**ked up but he always remained with me. I just assumed everything was back to normal.

Usually, I don't care about such stuff as I'm only looking for pleasure through sex but...Ugh no, I have to stop thinking about that!

I haven't seen him since and I haven't been coping greatly. Losing my source of pleasure has been pure hell.

Going from seeing him every day to just plain nothing, I'll admit it's a big deal. It feels so strange not having his presence anymore. Ugh, I got used to it. This is exactly why I never get myself into this kind of mess. I get attached to them and then it's hard to lose them. This is exactly what happened with Garrett.

This past week, I couldn't help but think about him. It just feels so empty and I don't like it but even if it's that, I can't just call him back and admit such a thing. He's the one that ran away, it's over between us and I have to accept that. It wasn't gonna last and I should have known that.

Regarding what I do with my sexual desires, well it's been hard getting used to not having someone next to me that can get me some pleasure. I tried times and times again to jerk off just at the mere thought of him but it didn't work. Even porn doesn't work. My body only wants his...as embarrassing as it is.

I feel so sexually deprived it's ridiculous. It's pure torture. I really want to get laid but every time I try to find someone else his words haunt me, it refrains me from doing as I wanted. He said he doesn't me to find someone else.

Why? Weren't we just fuck buddies? It's not like we were in a relationship...Relationship...
Gosh, this is a word I don't like. I like being set free but maybe that's what bothered him? No! Gosh, I have to stop thinking about him. It's over! Over!

It doesn't matter what he wants, I don't have time to deal with what he thinks or wants or whatever. Ugh...Why am I still thinking about him? Why is he on my mind all the time? I won't see him ever again.

That's it I'm going to the bar. It's Friday and that means Brent is there. I'm definitely going.

Thankfully, I already ate an already-made sandwich I had bought at work. Wow...it's nothing compared to before. I used to have good meals. I miss eating what Garrett makes...Snap out of it! He's gone and it's over!

I go down the stairs of my apartment and start walking to the bar. Gosh, I also got used to being driven around everywhere. Did we really spend that much time together? Stop thinking about him!

After 10 minutes or so, I arrive. I open the door and I'm met by flashing lights and full of people dancing. Lots of them look at me interested in me and some of them even seem to recognize me. Well, I have quite the reputation here.

Anyways, normally this would turn me on but it doesn't...Strange...

Now that I think about it, things changed a lot in two months. Before I used to come here and get myself the first interesting guy I see but now I don't...I even used to go to the bar every single day and fucked a new guy all the time. Now I just go from time to time to see Brent. Wow...Garrett really changed everything. Ugh! Why can't he get out of my mind?!

To change my mind, I get to the bar stool where Brent is and sit down there. He notices me.

"Hey, Bran! You're not with your man?"

"Nah, it's over between us."

"What?" He does a double-take and looks at me shocked.

"Yeah, it's been a week."

"Wow...What happened? I thought you two worked well together."

"He said we needed to take a break."

"A break...So, it's not over."

"Well, it is for me."

"Oh, come on, stop thinking that. It's not over. He just needs some time away from you. I totally get him. I would want to spend some time away from you too." He laughs as he starts preparing drinks and I just glare coldly at him.

"I don't want to hear your jokes."

"Oh come on man! Cheer up! It's not the end of the world! Your man will come back to you in no time!" He says playfully. Though as strange as this makes me happy and relieves me, I glare daggers at him.

"It doesn't matter anyways. He made it very clear. He's the one that ran away anyways."

"Did you perhaps do something to hurt him?"

"Not that I know of? The f**ker dared to dumb this news after the most amazing sex ever."

"Wow, ok. That's some guts. Your man knows his thing."

"He's not my man, stop talking about him."

"Why should I? It was the first time you had a guy that stayed more than a night and that was your first permanent guy. Seriously, this was the most serious relationship I've ever seen you in. You can't say he wasn't important to you."

"You know how to push my buttons huh?" I say pissed off.

"Hey! I'm just saying. He seemed to really like you a lot. So, it's kinda surprising he dumbed you like that."

"He didn't dump me!"

"Oh yeah? Then what does it look like?"

"We were just f**k buddies anyways. It wasn't that important."

"Nah, he was with you every single day. You never thought about what he wanted huh?"

"Brent.." I say in a warning tone.

"What? I know you. You have next to no consideration for people's feelings. Your man seemed to be quite sensitive. Didn't you notice that?"

"Sure he was but what does that have to do with this?"

"See exactly my point. How can you act like it didn't matter all that much when he was around all the time?"

"It wasn't that serious anyways. It was just sex."

"You sure about that?" I frown at him.

"What do you mean? We only had sex together. Sure we went out a few times but.."

"That guy cared a lot about you and from my understanding, you didn't care for him back, it was a matter of time before he dumped you."

"Brent!" I yell out pissed off.

Then suddenly we get interrupted by someone sitting next to me.

"What's going on here?" Is that the guy Brent is currently screwing with?

"Ah, we were just talking about the fact Brandon got dumped by his man."

"Yeah, I called it. I knew you two wouldn't last. It was your fault right?" Who is he to say that?

"Who the hell are you to say that? You know nothing about us."

"Yo, we fucked before, I know how you are. Even Brent knows."

He winks at Brent and Brent just smirks back. Yup, those two are hooking up. He's that Gavin guy. Eh, he fucked with me before? Figures. What bothers me is that he claims he knows me. No past flings know me more than my skills in bed.

"Ok, so what? We only fucked once, like way back."

"I'm even surprised you lasted with that guy that long. With how fast you change your sex partners, it's unbelievable to think you would last that long. You would change the guy every single day. Everyone knows that and we respected that."

"Yeah, it used to hurt real bad when you got rid of us as if we didn't matter, so Gavin is right on that point. Through, I realized that you were only looking to have a good time and so I got used to it." Brent says.

"Why are you both on my case? Do you talk about me while you two fuck or what?" They don't even look taken aback by that. Damn ok.

"We don't have time to talk about such a guy like you." I glare at that Gavin guy.

"Chill out baby. He's my friend so respect a bit?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry about that.."

Well, that didn't seem the bit convincing. He's not the least regretful about his words. He meant every word it seems like, especially with his cold stare of his directed at me.

"So, I'm curious. Why did you stick with such a crybaby?"

"Don't you dare call him a crybaby!" I say furious and he flinches a bit.

"Damn ok, so I guess he wasn't just a boy toy I guess."

"Damn well, he wasn't!"

"So, you two were dating then?"

"The hell, no!"

"Here I thought he would've changed. I guess it was some progress at least."

"Stop talking about me as if I were trash."

"Well, you kinda are a red flag. It's nice to see your guy used my advice." I glare at him.

"Why do you care about such things about me so much anyways?" I say grinding my teeth. I'm so pissed off right now that my blood is boiling right now.

"Eh, it's just funny rolling you up."

"Oh, so you think this is funny?!"

"Chill out guys. I don't want a fight here. I'll get fired." I calm down a bit but not enough to get rid of my blunt hatred towards that guy Gavin.

"I hate your guy Brent."

"I'm not his guy. We just fuck that's it."

"Yeah, just like Garrett and I were! What is so hard to believe in that?!"

"I never said you weren't fucking your guy. I'm just saying that it's quite strange you lasted what? 2 months with him? That's so unlike you. Usually, you're up here dancing and playing with guys and you were a no-show those past few weeks." I think I know that, thank you.

"That's 'cause I had my guy to fuck already."

"Bran you're digging yourself a hole. You're basically proving Gavin's point."

"The hell, no?! Brent why aren't you backing me up?!"

"Can't help you on that."

"Why do you two seem so convinced that Garrett was my man while you two aren't?"

"Easy, we fuck who we want, no commitment but you basically committed yourself to him, or else you would've fucked other guys."

"What? No! I was just in for the pleasure."

I say desperately trying to make them understand. They're making my blood boil tonight especially that Gavin guy. No wonder Garrett didn't like him...Why am I thinking about him of all time?!?!

"Damn Brent, is the only thing on his mind only about sex?"

"Probably."

"Oh, f**k off you two!"

"What? I was just starting to think you were saddling down."

"Wasn't I supposed to be the bad guy tonight?"

"Oh, sure you are but that doesn't stop me from saying that it looked like you were becoming a relationship guy. It's quite amusing dare I say."

"I'm not a relationship guy!!"

"Then, why weren't you coming here then? It was his influence huh?"

"You guys suck! I came here to change ideas and here you talk about the one guy I don't want to think about!" They both smirk at that.

"Oh, so that means you were thinking about him all week long? You miss your man?" Brent teases as he smirks. The f**ker is enjoying himself huh?

"Stop contradicting me!"

"What? You were the one that said that."

"Ugh, I don't want to deal with you two!"

"Seems like you are in denial man."

Brent says and I just give him a deadly stare and he doesn't flinch even a little bit. Curse him for being used to this.

"Oh, f**k off."

"I'll gladly do so."

The rest of the night consists of the same thing with getting myself wasted.

——————-

This has been getting ridiculous. It's been 3 weeks since I last saw Garrett. It's already the second week of June damnit!

I thought I was fine but I'm not...Gosh, everything isn't working out for me right now.

I keep telling myself it's over between Garrett and me because it really is but my mind keeps thinking back to him and it annoys me!

I've never had such pity feelings before! It's horrible! Why did I let myself get attached to him? I've never done so in the past few years in my life but there I do so only to be over already.

I think what didn't help is that we saw each other all the time as if we were dating which we were clearly not. We saw each day way more than just sex now that I agree. Why did I let that happen?

Ugh, I can't believe he held such power over me. We were only fuck buddies but..damn I got too attached to him and I hate it!

I hate how I can't stop thinking about him! He's on my mind all the time! Ugh, why is he? This never happened before. All guys I fucked we're just yeah guys but Garrett...

It's over with Garrett! Stop thinking about it!

Even if I try to make myself believe that it won't work and I don't know why. I'm so confused, why do I keep thinking about him? Why does everything makes me think about him? Gosh, thinking about him makes me want to see him again..No! No!

Ugh, I'm hard at work. This didn't happen in a long time but it's even happening recently. At this point, I don't know how I haven't gotten any sex in those past 3 weeks. Never have I gone one day without sex!

It feels like I can't get any release, sometimes I even stay hard hours on hand and leak precum like crazy. It'a embarrassing and painful! I can't stand it! This is why I can't go days, weeks even, without any sexual activity!

Obviously, I could've done something about it but every time I try to, Garrett is on my mind. I thought by getting drunk enough he would leave my mind and I could hook up without any issues but no he won't leave my mind!

Anyways, as weird as it no one has really been grabbing my attention or interest, no men and even less women. I tried everything and nothing works! I bet I won't even cum if it's Brent.

I know what Garrett would say, he'd say it's not normal and say I need therapy. Ugh, why am I thinking about him? Of course, I am...I'm hard damnit.

Garrett is taking too much place in my mind and I don't enjoy it. I liked my old life before and now he changed it and...Oh, f**k this!

I thought I was fine with living my old life but now Garrett made such an impact on me that it's not. Did Garrett have that much of an impact on me? Did I have an impact on him?

Ugh, the only thing he gives me was...yep pleasure! Pleasure...I want pleasure...I want to release. Ugh, but I can't, I'm at work...Usually, I would anticipate going back home from work since I knew he would be there or at least he would pick me up or something but now...I have no reason to go back home, no one to go to...

Even if it's that, I won't go back to him even if I desperately need his body...no...I think I need him...

It's pointless trying to take back what's over. He was just my fuck buddy or was he? Ugh, stop those questions! I have to work dammit! Thank gosh there aren't lots of people at the grocery store today or else I would've been in deep sh*t.

I guess I have to continue suffering in my tight briefs and jeans pants with my hard-on, which I hope isn't too obvious.

—————

I get back home ready to jerk myself off even though I know it won't work. I get up the stairs and unlock the door.

As soon as I get in, I go straight for the bathroom and take a shower, hopefully, the cold water will help me calm it down.

After a good 10 minutes with unfortunately a failure to get it down, I get out and put a towel on my waist, gosh it's still noticeable that I'm hard.

I get steered away from my thoughts when I suddenly hear the doorbell ring. Huh? Who on earth would come here during dinner time? A fling perhaps? Well, they don't know my address through. Oh, f**k it, I'm too uncomfortable and horny to get dressed up. It's not a past fling that would care anyways.

I get out of the bathroom and walk to the door. Huh, the person is quite patient today. I open the door and my eyes grow wide at who it is.

"Rett?!"