“Hunter?” I whispered as we reached the cemetery my mother and grandfather were buried in.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to do this.”

“Why?” he rubbed my leg softly, concern clear in his eyes.

We had spent the last three weeks getting everything ready for our 4-day trip to North Dakota to camp as well as finally paying my respects to my mother and grandfather. The drive had been lovely, finding our camping spot and getting things set up had gone easy, but now that we were in Belfield, North Dakota sitting outside of the cemetery I had every urge to ask him to take us back to our campsite at Theodore Roosevelt National Park.

“It’s too… final.”

“You’re not sayin’ goodbye,” he squeezed softly, “you’re just giving ‘em an update. Tellin’ them what’s goin’ on in your life. I wanna talk to your mom too. It’s important to me. Okay? I’ll be right there.”

“Okay,” I whispered, steeling my nerves as I opened my door.

Hunter jumped out after turning the truck off and came running around, taking my hand as soon as I was on the ground. We slowly entered the cemetery, being respectful so as to not step on any of the graves and I led him to a large cottonwood tree that my mother and grandfather were placed under.

“Edward Jedediah Walker,” Hunter whispered, reading my grandfather's headstone, “oh… he was a veteran?”

“Mhm,” I nodded, wiping my tears away, “yeah. Vietnam. Sergeant First Class Walker. He was a platoon sergeant. He joined the military in the 50s. Left at the end of the 70s. Over 20 years of service. He was only 18 when he joined. Then, he married my Nana. Lucille. Uh… oh,” I pointed to the headstone to the left of my grandfather, “that’s her. Lucille Eliza. She died giving birth to my mom. Part of why my mom and him never got along I think. He blamed her.”

“But it wasn’t her fault.”

“Well yeah, she knew that,” squatting down, I started to clean my mother's headstone, “at least they’re still being taken care of. Not sure by who. I don’t have any family left.”

“But how can ya be sure about that?” Hunter squatted down as well, copying me by cleaning my grandfathers.

“Well… I never met anyone else. My mom only ever had me, I don’t remember her being pregnant ever so I’m definitely an only child. As far as I know, my father was a young teacher at her high school. Mom was 15. He was 23? Something like that. So I mean he could have kids, we’d be half-siblings, but why would they bother? So that doesn’t make sense. She had no siblings as far as I know. If she did, they never talked about them and no one ever came to see me on the ranch when I’d visit my granddad.”

“Who bought the ranch?” Hunter looked at me confused.

“Um… I was told it went to the bank. That’s what my mom said,” shrugging, I sat back on my heels, rubbing tears away with my sweater, “I don’t know that she’d lie to me.”

“It’s just weird to have such a small family. I mean, I know it happens, look at mine, but I just figured… I don’t know. I don’t want ya to be alone in the world.”

“But I’m not,” I gave him a tear-filled smile, “because I have you.”

“You’ll have me as long as ya want me,” he softly kissed my forehead and I hugged him gently, “can I talk to your mama?”

“Of course.”

“Cover your ears for a minute.”

“Huh?” I looked at him confused.

“I wanna ask her somethin’ and I ain’t want ya to hear it. It’s special.”

“Well… okay. I’ll go see if I can get flowers from the office while you do that,” getting to my feet, I leaned down and kissed him softly before heading to the administration building, “excuse me?” I called softly when I walked inside.

“One moment!” a soft voice called from one of the rooms behind the desk. An older gentleman with soft blonde hair and light brown eyes came from the back, pushing up his glasses as he fixed a light blue cardigan he was wearing, “how can I help you?”

“I was wondering if I could buy three of those?” I gestured to the artificial flowers to my right.

“Of course! For which plot?”

“Oh I don’t actually know the numbers,” I rubbed the nape of my neck, “it’s for my grandparents and my mother.”

“Ah… okay. You… you seem rather young to have a mother buried here.”

“I’m 21. Almost 22 actually. But she was a young mother. That’s all.”

“You have my condolences,” he smiled sadly, “I just need their names so that we can know who has the flowers. We cycle them out at the end of the month,” he took a seat at the desk and grabbed a small ledger, prepared to mark down the names that I gave him.

“Oh, that makes sense. Okay. Um, Edward Walker, Lucille Walker, and Natalie Walker.”

He froze, his hand hovering above my mothers' name before he looked up at me, “N… Natalie?”

“Mhm. She’s my mom.”

“But…”

“Did you go to school together?” I smiled.

"I…,” shaking his head, he slowly filled out the information he needed and handed me a slip that I signed.

“How much do I owe you?”

“N… nothing. Nothing it’s… I’ll cover it.”

“Oh but…”

“It’s fine,” clearing his throat, he pulled his glasses off and wiped his eyes, “Sorry. W… what’s your name?”

“Grayson.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Grayson. I’m Sawyer McKinley.”

“Oh, how funny… that’s my middle name. Grayson Sawyer.”

“Ah… funny,” he nodded, studying me, “you’re 22?”

“Nearly. My birthday is in August.”

“Okay… sorry. I knew your mom. We… were close. She disappeared from school at 16 and…”

“She was pregnant with me. I guess she finished doing her schoolwork at home. We lived here until she was 18 and moved to Montana. That’s where I live now with my… almost boyfriend?”

The door opened and I turned my head to find Hunter, a confused look on his face as he tucked his hat under his arm.

“I got worried about ya. You were gone for so long,” Hunter rubbed my arm softly before looking at Sawyer, his eyes wide, “sir?”

“Hm?” Sawyer smiled.

“How old are ya?”

“40.”

“Ah… I apologize. I… you look a lot like Gray and I…thought maybe you were his dad. I figure he still lives in town.”

“Oh he does,” Sawyer nodded, writing something and I snapped my head to look at him.

“You know my dad?” I whispered.

“Well, I’d hope I’d know him. He’s my piece of shit older brother. Excuse my language.”

“Your… brother?” Hunter gasped, “So that means…”

“Grayson is probably my nephew.”

“I… but my middle name is your name… I don’t…” I stared at him in shock.

“Your mom was my best friend,” Sawyer cleared his throat, “she… she was also my girlfriend. There was… there’s always been a chance that either Adam or I was your dad. We never knew. He assaulted her a week after I… we were intimate the first few times. I loved your mom. I… I was actually there for the first two years of your life. I helped raise you until your grandpa made her leave. She wouldn’t let me come with her. So I… I lost track of you both. I was in Nepal when you lost her and I got the call from my mom. I wasn’t able to make it here in time to be at the funeral. Were you alone?”

“Yes,” I sniffled, trying to hold back tears, “it was just me.”

“I am so sorry, Grayson,” Sawyer wiped another tear away, “I am so sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I can’t blame you. I didn’t know you existed. My mom never talked about you…”

“She was… so determined not to ruin my life that… she wiped me from all memories. But,” he reached into the desk and grabbed a picture, laying it on the counter in front of Hunter and me, “I managed to hide one.”

In the photo was my mother, her hair braided around her shoulder as she held a baby me on her hip. She was smiling at the man standing next to her as he made a silly face at baby me and I realized it was a young Sawyer, his hair long.

“Oh… Gray your mom was beautiful,” Hunter whispered, “Sir?”

“My name is Sawyer. Please call me by my name.”

“Right. Okay. Why didn’t ya ever have a DNA test?”

“Couldn’t afford it,” he shrugged, “we were kids. My parents wanted to get one but Edward told them no. That he wanted nothing to do with the McKinley family. He blamed us. We wanted to be in your life, Gray. But your mom disappeared with you and I tried so hard to find you. Actually… I did. Once. But by the time I got to Billings, you were gone.”

“Was it after my mom died?” I whispered again, staring at the photo.

“Yes.”

“I was homeless. I lost everything. My job, my apartment, my car. I was living on the streets until a few months ago. Thanks to Hunter saving me. I was attacked and nearly murdered by some kids. They dropped me at the edge of his ranch and he happened to hear it and find me. Saved my life. Now, we live there together, taking care of the cows, horses, and chickens. His family has taken me in as one of theirs. It’s… it’s been nice. I saw you looking at my arms and throat. It wasn’t a suicide attempt. It was from the attack.”

“His thigh was worse,” Hunter sighed, rubbing my back, “nicked an artery. He about bled to death but I knew what to do so… I did it.”

“Thank you,” Sawyer nodded, “for saving him.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Sawyer?” I smiled, “I… I wish I had remembered you. Or known about you. I would have found you sooner.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sawyer came around the counter, wringing his hands, “I waited for your mom. This entire time. I did nothing but wait for her to bring you back to me. Be a family. I didn’t care if I was biologically your dad or not. I was there for two years and it was the best two years of my life. Watching you grow. You were such a sweet baby.”

“You never… got married? Had kids?”

“No. Because I was supposed to marry Natalie. Be your dad. I failed you, Grayson, and I am so sorry for that.”

“But you didn’t,” Shaking my head, I took a small step toward him, “because you were there. You didn’t have to be. But you were. Even if I didn’t have you in my life for the last almost 20 years, you never gave up on me or Mom. Most people wouldn’t hold that level of commitment to their teenage girlfriend. But you did. Which tells me how much you love her. And… and me.”

“Of course I do,” he nodded, “I take care of her headstone as best as I can. I paid for it after all. I bought your grandpa's farm so that… that I knew you’d get the money for it. So I knew you’d be taken care of even if I wasn’t taking care of you myself. I just… I wish I had been there and I…”

Hesitantly, I hugged Sawyer and he jumped before wrapping his arms around me tightly, my face now buried in his shoulder as I started to cry, his hand on the back of my head.

“Oh this is familiar,” Sawyer let out a sad laugh, “when you were a baby and you’d cry, I was the only one who could calm you down.”

“Really?” I hiccuped quietly.

“Mhm. You liked riding around on my back and always napped on me. We were best friends.”

“Sawyer?” Hunter cleared his throat, “I think ya should get that test…”

“I don’t want to know,” I turned my head to look back at Hunter, “because it’s not biology that makes someone a dad. It’s being the one who was there. Sawyer was there. That… that makes him my dad.”

“Alright,” Hunter smiled, “then I guess… I should introduce myself properly. My name is Hunter Hope,” he held his hand out and after letting me go, Sawyer shook it, “I’m currently datin’ your son.”

“Sawyer McKinley. It’s nice to meet you,” Sawyer smiled, “thank you, Hunter, for taking care of him.”

“Always.”

“Where are you staying?”

“We set up a spot at Cottonwood Campground.”

“Huh? You guys need to get your stuff out of there immediately,” Sawyer gasped, “they’re expecting flash flooding tonight. We’re about to have a massive storm.”

“But… it’s a seven-hour drive home,” I gasped, looking at Hunter, “what do we do?”

“I told you,” Sawyer smiled, going to the desk and grabbing a set of keys, “I bought your grandpa's farm. Go there.”

“Don’t you live there?” I looked at him confused, taking the keys.

“Nope. Do you remember the little blue house across the street?”

“Absolutely. The old couple that lived there were so sweet to me until Grandad would catch me talking to them and send me inside.”

“That’s my parents. I live there to take care of them.”

“So my…”

“Your grandparents, yes. Heidi and Jon. I… don't expect you to suddenly call us your family. You don't know or remember us. That's okay," he patted my cheek softly, "but if you'd like to meet them again during your stay, they would love that. We talk about you. I've written you letters. I found your PO box actually."

"Oh. I haven't actually checked it since I opened it. Never expected anyone to write to me. I’d… I'd like to meet them. Get to know you. We're here for four days."

"That's all?"

"We have a farm to run full of cattle, chickens, horses, and our dogs. We can't abandon that. But," grabbing a pen, I wrote down my phone number, "but you can call or text me anytime to talk or plan more visits if you ever… want to come to Montana. Y… you're my dad after all."

"You don’t have to call me that if it's uncomfortable. I just… you called me Dada. It was precious. I wish you could remember."

Dada….

Sawyer is definitely my dad.

He tried to find me so many times.

He's been taking care of me without me realizing it.

Dada…

Oh!

"Wait," reaching into my bag, I grabbed a small necklace with a locket on it, "You gave this to me. I remember that day. I was really upset, crying and screaming in my carseat. But I don't know why."

"It was the day you left me," he sadly took the necklace, running his finger over the pendant, "you were angry I wasn't getting in the car. We went everywhere together and suddenly I wasn't going to be there. You were so confused. So I made you a promise on this," he held up the pendant, "that no matter how far apart we were, Dada always loves you. It broke me. I was… devastated. I loved your mom but losing you was harder than anything. I should have fought harder. I wasted 20 years of life."

"But ya got at least 20 to make it up to your son," Hunter squeezed Sawyer's shoulder, "he needs ya. As much as he says my family is enough, he deserves more than the Hopes. He's a wonderful man. One I care about deeply."

"I can tell," Sawyer smiled up at Hunter, "also you're really tall."

"You and Gray are just short."

"I'm 5 foot 9!" Sawyer and I shouted at the same time before looking at each other and laughing loudly.

"Um so… well go break down our campsite and head to Granddad's house. After that… can we have dinner? I'd like to talk more," I smiled nervously.

"Absolutely. Do you want to meet me at my house? There's nowhere in town to get vegan dishes honestly."

"Are my grandparents there?"

"They aren't actually. They're on a trip for their anniversary."

"Oh… I wanted to meet them…"

"We can come back," Hunter kissed the top of my head, "or all three of ya can come to Montana for Christmas or somethin'. Our house has 6 bedrooms. Plenty of room for guests."

"Hunter you hate when anyone but us is in the house," I laughed.

"No, I hate anyone that isn't family in our house. This is family. Your dad and grandparents."

"I’d love that,” Sawyer nodded, “do you have a big family?”

“No. I have my parents, little sister, and her wife and they’re havin’ twins pretty soon here. A boy and girl.”

“Oh how lovely,” Sawyer smiled, “go get your things. I’ll see you both later.”

“Hunter, do you mind if I stay here? I’ll make it up to you.”

“I was going to suggest that,” Hunter smiled, kissing me softly, “see ya soon.”