Karina’s Last Days

Chapter 8

Karina really didn’t feel like having a conversation with anybody right now. She wanted to just ignore Enphric and go to her room, but he was one of the few people who at least tried to understand how she felt—not that it was enough.

“What is it? I’m very tired and need to rest,” she said coldly.

“I heard something happened and father yelled at you. Are you okay?”

“Yes, I apologized to him about that.”

“I think he’s deeply worried about how sick Abelia is. Please understand him.”

Karina frowned hearing Enphric’s words. “I do understand.” And she did. That's why, all this time, she had been holding back, apologizing first, and conceding.

“I’m only saying this because you look upset. I mean, anyone would be if they were always told to understand everybody else’s actions. If you’re mad about the birthday thing, you can say so.”

“Even if I do say something... nothing will come of it.”

Nobody would listen. She knew that they would just find fault with her and call her immature—that’s how it worked. Nobody had said the words yet, but Karina was filled with dread even imagining her parents saying them. She was afraid that reality wouldn’t be too different from her imagination.

“Do’'t forget that father and mother love you as well,” her older brother said.

“Father and mother love you and the twins, not me. My only special talent is that I’m healthy.”

“Karina.”

Enphric’s scolding voice made Karina slap her forehead. This had been her last meal with them, and she’d thought she would leave with at least one good memory. She had even contemplated saying something about her departure since they were her family. All those thoughts and concerns were gone now.

“Enphric, I have a headache. Let’s talk some other time.”

“Join us at the picnic.”

Karina’s hand waved Enphric’s suggestion away dismissively. “I don’t want to. I’m not going.”

She raised her head and looked at him, taking in his honey-blond hair and blue eyes. He looked like a prince from a fairy tale, but he was always so gentle and considerate. She mused on how remarkable he and his many talents were.

“Our parents love you, as well,” he said.

“I am their child. They must have an ounce of love for me somewhere in their hearts,” Karina said, nodding. Her stern glare did not match her tone. “I’m not trying to deny it like I’m some sort of an immature child.”

Enphric gave Karina a questioning look.

“Nonetheless, it’s always Abelia, Feldon, or you that matters more to them, not me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. Please… Just go. I just want to be alone.”

There had been times when Enphric’s words had comforted her, but not now. She realized she was on the edge of losing her temper.

“Karina.”

“Please!” She raised her voice so much that her throat hurt from it. She rubbed her neck and twisted her face. “I am begging you, please.”

“Okay. Let’s talk some other time.”

“Fine.”

She left Enphric behind and headed straight to the second floor. It felt as though somebody had poured cold water over her. As if somebody was punishing her for her stupid second thoughts.

I didn’t think I had any more feelings to be hurt. Especially when it’s probably my final birthday.

She wondered why nobody felt sorry for not celebrating her birthday. That everybody took it for granted that she would agree with their plan was a great upset for her.

Why does even the last memory have to be bad?

She went into her room, locked the doors, tossed her shoes off, and buried her face in the covers.

Would I have more friends if I was famous for my drawings? If I had some friends, I wouldn’t be so fixated on my family or so unhappy.

Karina laughed sadly. After all, what kind of friends could she make when she couldn’t even attend tea parties because of having to look after Abelia? Her thoughts kept going in circles, but nobody noticed her lonely sobs throughout the night. She didn’t get much sleep, but she woke up to a bright morning on her last day at the estate.

After a short deliberation, she decided to leave only a short letter saying she was going on a trip. She didn’t want the family to think she was kidnapped or send the estate’s private soldiers looking for her, nor did she want to detail everything that had led to her decision. All of her thoughts combined had boiled down to one sentence.

Karina put on the robes that she had bought for her trip and left the mansion when the guards were changing shifts—she had calculated the time beforehand. This way, thankfully, nobody saw her red, puffy eyes.

She got on the public carriage she had arranged a seat on, which was going to the empire’s capital, Aios. From there, she was going to take a different carriage headed to the village of Lynlock, a hub for travelers. Then, she was going to look for merchants or small carriages heading north.

She let out a long, anxious sigh. It was the beginning of a long, long journey.

* * *

The doctor's medicine helped a lot on the trip. As he had predicted, Karina’s condition declined rapidly as she traveled uncomfortably in the cold. Fortunately, after taking the medicine, she slept better at night and felt less pain. She took it religiously because of that, almost like she was addicted to it.

However, not even the medicine could help her appetite. Since she could only stomach thin porridge or boiled vegetables, she lost weight throughout the journey. Still, Karina was happy.

Knowing that this could be the last trip of her life, she appreciated every single sight she took in. She had to cook meals together with fellow travelers and do chores for the merchants, which earned her respect. Everyone treated her normally.

They didn’t treat her like she was invisible, annoying, or boring. She was just Karina to those around her. Nevertheless, she ended the long journey on her own.

Before she knew it, she had reached the duke’s estate.

* * *

“Fang, get a decent room for her now. And tell her maids to have the bath ready.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“The lady will speak more after she freshens up,” Milian said, a confusing expression on his face.

Karina could only nod complacently at his suggestion. If anything had changed during her two months’ travel, it was her character. Normally, she would hold back her words and concede, but not she would just say what she meant, a skill that she only gained with practice.

The merchants and the people on the carriages were very busy and they paid little attention to other people. So, unless she spoke up, it was hard to get anything done or fixed. When she spoke up, they looked at her and listened. Karina had realized the importance of open conversation.

“Lady Leopold, the only room that is ready for you right now is the room right next to the duke’s room. Would that be okay for you?”

“Just Karina is fine. I am fine with whichever room but I think the annex might be a better choice because it’s far from here. I assumed my lord would be uncomfortable because of my sudden arrival.”

As she spoke, she took in the pristine building that was as immaculate as its owner’s character.

“Once you warm up, I suggest asking my lord about the annex.”

“Okay,” she readily agreed.

The room was very simple. Unlike the rest of the marble building, the room that the servant led her to had wood furnishings. The smell of the wood lingered in her nose.

“Interesting.”

“This is a room that my lord uses when he meditates. So it’s always ready for him,” Fang mentioned.

“Ah,” Karina nodded. She found the smell of the wood that was permeating the room calming.

“I’ll send up a maid to help you with the bath.”

“No, it’s fine. I will be out after warming up for a bit. Can you come again in an hour or so, please?”

“Will you be okay without a maid, my lady?”

Karina rolled her eyes at Fang’s puzzled voice and nodded. She didn’t need any help and didn’t want anyone touching her belongings because she needed to take a look at the leftover medicine.

“Okay. If you need anything, please ring the bell.”

“Okay,” she nodded and Fang hesitatingly left the room.