Chapter 8

“Is it me or her? Make up your mind and stop wallowing in your own pathetic sadness.”

Robért woke up groggily. He felt heavy, as though his clothes were soaking wet and weighing him down, while his head ached and throbbed. The princess’s voice kept ringing in his ears until he was fully alert. He groped his side table, reaching for his glasses. The more he thought of what he had done yesterday, the more Robért was overcome with anguish.

He had been so drunk that he could barely remember his actions that night. Robért put his head between his knees for a moment, then sat up and rubbed his face. Apparently, the servants of the palace were not aware that the more drunk he became, the more sober he looked. And now...

Just then, there was a knock on the door. and Robért’s shoulders flinched, guilt washing over him. He hastily climbed out of bed and threw on a bathrobe, wondering if the princess might be calling for him. But standing at his door was Arielle.

“Robért, please. Can I come in?” she asked.

“...”

Robért finally remembered everything that had happened. He loved the woman standing in front of him, but she had betrayed him last night. It was a cold, hard truth, Robért realized, as he dully replayed yesterday’s scenes in his head. But he didn’t feel any anger at the sight of her and wondered whether he had actually loved her at all. He felt as if he had just awakened from a dream.

“Come in,” he said after a pause. Once he swung open the door, Arielle dashed into his arms. He mechanically accepted her, but his mind wandered to the princess. He ruminated on the possibility that she had truly lost all feelings for him.

Or worse, feelings that might have never existed in the first place.

He found himself smirking at the cruel irony.

“I’m so sorry!” Arielle cried. “It was wrong of me. I came to realize yesterday...”

“Realize what?” Robért asked.

“I could never leave you behind in this place.” Arielle looked up at Robért, her red eyes swimming in tears.

“Are you trying to say that you’re staying here because of me?” said Robért. When she nodded, he slowly and tenderly stroked her hair.

Liar, he thought.

“Oh, I’m so glad you don’t hate me. I honestly thought...” Arielle wrapped her arms around his neck. Robért lowered himself as she pulled him close. His world must have been flipped upside down overnight, because nothing else could explain what he was feeling right now. He couldn’t remember how he had ever thought he loved this woman. All he felt was a deep, insatiable thirst.

“Robért?”

“What is it?”

Snuggled in his arms, Arielle whispered, “I really want to meet with Her Highness.”

That was when Robért finally identified the source of his unquenchable desire. The burning urge that could only be resolved by running over to her and throwing himself down at her feet. It felt just like the first time he’d laid eyes on the princess. So what was the problem now? What was it about the princess that had left him feeling so entrapped? He had thought he was finally free of her. That he’d forgotten her. But in attempting to flee from this hell, Robért was only reminded of the unchanging truth.

“Please... There’s no way I can meet her unless you help me,” Arielle said.

“All right...” Robért finally answered. “I’ll help you.”

He finally understood why he could still feel such feelings for this woman without any guilt. It was because Arielle did not love him. Just as he did not actually love her.

* * *

I stood at a distance and stared at him. Only after I saw Etsen make a strange face did I realize that I’d hitched my skirt all the way up to my thighs. I dropped the hem and grinned sheepishly.

“Hi,” I said.

Etsen quickly turned his head away, as though he’d seen something horrendous. Studying the back of his head, I recalled the screen I had just read earlier.

“I’ll wait in our usual spot.”

Arielle wasn’t here.

“...”

Etsen abruptly stood up and started making his way down the other side of the hill without a word.

“W-wait!” I cried.

I could have pretended not to notice him. We both found each other uncomfortable. And yet...

“Where are you going?” I asked, chasing after him. I just managed to grab his wrist, but he reacted so violently that I was thrown backward and landed hard on my ass.

“Ouch.” I stared up at him, rubbing my now throbbing backside. He looked just as surprised as me, staring at me stiffly.

“Why did you grab me?” he said.

“Well, you were leaving without saying goodbye,” I replied.

“Since when did we ever greet each other?”

“I suppose that’s true.”

When I grinned and reached out my hand, he took it with clenched teeth. He pulled me up on my feet with ease, and I brushed off the leaves and grass clinging to my dress.

Ding!

Robért is suspicious of your request to meet Princess Elvia. It may be better to just come out with the truth.

A. Tell him you want to become her lady-in-waiting.

B. Beg for forgiveness and tell Robért you wanted to win him over.

C. Don’t tell him anything.

This meant that Arielle had gone to Robért out of her own self-interest. I knew that becoming my lady-in-waiting was an important quest, but I couldn’t understand why she still had to behave so cruelly.

Then I heard Etsen say, “I hope you’re not taking back your decision from yesterday.”

His expression made it seem like he was expecting me to exile him right this second. Which, honestly, wouldn’t be a surprise, since I had already voiced that I was sick of everything. Besides, he wasn’t being summoned to my bed at night anymore.

“Stay,” I said. “Stay for as long as you want, until you want to leave on your own.”

“...”

I clapped my hands together. “Now, shall we redefine our relationship?”

“...”

“You’re not a guest, nor a prisoner, nor a hostage.”

His bottom lip began to tremble. I could see his jawline tense.

“How can you do anything to change what is already the reality?” he said.

“Settle down here,” I said. “I told you I’d bestow you a title. I never said I’d take back the offer.”

“Settle down? Do you even think that’s even possible—”

“Wasn’t that the reason you were trying to run away?” I asked. I stretched out my palm to Etsen. He didn’t seem too pleased with my open-faced expression.

“Then pay rent,” I said.

“What...?”

“You can live here as a tenant. Or, if you don’t like that either, then just work in the palace. Though you’d have to find a separate house first.”

“Do you even hear yourself right now?” Etsen asked incredulously.

“Yup.”

“What are you—”

“I’m saying that we should erase our personal history and start over,” I explained. “It doesn’t change the past, I know, but it’s at least an option you could choose.”

“...”

“I won’t deny what I’ve done up until now. But we both know you can’t kill me.” I saw him clench his fists, his skin turning white around his knuckles. “So just bury the past. Forget all about it.”

And, no longer smiling, I added, “And I promise... I won’t forget anything I did, even if I were to die.”

Etsen peered intently into my face, trying to figure me out.

“If you want to spend your future next to the person you love, then this isn’t the best—”

“That’s it?!” Etsen roared, cutting me off.

“...”

His face contorted as he yelled sorrowfully, “That’s what all this was for?”

Fat tears poured out of his eyes and dripped to the ground. I could see the resentment and fury building up in him.

“For this?!” he choked out.

I finally understood what he meant. He was asking me whether I had brought his entire country to collapse, mercilessly slaughtering his people and his family, just to come to this. It was a devastating question, and one I could not answer. I wondered what had gone through his mind as he was humiliated by the princess each night, forced to live in the palace in isolation. Maybe it would make him less miserable if I could tell him that it was all for love, or any other reason really.

“...”

But I knew that would crush him. And only make him more resentful. Especially since, although he was now free to leave, he had nowhere else to go. Maybe what he was feeling was not hatred for me, or love for Arielle. Maybe he was just grieving for the loss of his loved ones, and everything else he had once had.

Etsen continued to weep silently.

* * *

Arielle smirked. She had nearly fallen for it. If it weren’t for the game system notification, she would have fallen for that sly, two-faced bastard. Robért had acted like he understood Arielle’s ardent profession of love, and even treated her like he was in love with her again.

“And yet it won’t go up even a single notch!” she growled to herself. Not once did she hear the sound of his affection levels increasing. They hadn’t budged after being reset. Moreover, the quest line was now on the verge of suspension. She had visited him with nothing else to lose, only to learn he still didn’t trust her.

“Damn it!” she swore.

What was wrong with this stupid world? The game system notifications were of no help at all. All they did was make her tiptoe around everyone’s reactions. How long did she have to put up with all this crap of being a court lady? This doesn’t make sense! Why is this happening to me?! I’m the main player in this game!

Arielle bit her lip, irritated. Her dainty, innocent face twisted darkly.

“It’s about time you finally accepted me, don’t you think?” she yelled at no one, clenching her fists. At that moment, she noticed someone walking her way from the end of the corridor, head hanging low. White-blond hair and a gentle face... The b*tch’s concubine.

Arielle giggled.

* * *

We stood there staring at each other for quite a while. Etsen had burst into tears several more times, releasing everything he’d been holding in for so long.

Finally, he asked, “Would I finally be at peace if I killed you?”

Probably, yes. But I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to die. I was staring at him wordlessly when suddenly, he furrowed his brow and squinted at me in confusion. His red, bloodshot eyes took me in. Then he brought his fingertips to my eyes.

“Why...” he started.

“...”

“Why are you crying?”