Chapter 18 - Forwards

Moving forwards?

Every one of the Leopards were evidence of this idea.

Ezekiel who had been cursed with an ill fate since birth. Hated for the blood that he carried and the danger that his Reavers rage represented. He had grown into a compassionate, intuitive, beautiful soul, with the determination to see his duties and responsibilities fulfilled.

Lander who was constantly accosted by feelings and thoughts so heavily that he was a pendulum of ever changing ever shifting emotional stability. Happiness, sadness, bitterness and rage were a revolving door in Landers soul.....so that the Guardian was never on stable footing. But despite this Lander had grown into a strong, bull headed fighter with focus and passion that burned when he went on a war path or put his heart into a struggle.

Walter, the Guardian that could manipulate and had manipulated the innocent people in his life in the past. A tortured Shifter locked in an emotionless cage because of his own powers. In spite of this darkness Walter strives to be the shield for his brothers and the leader of the Guardians whenever the need called for him to step up.

Nate, a pack-less Wolf. Abandoned, feral, and mysterious. The Guardian with no home, no past and a dark painful secret hidden beneath his playful exterior. And although Nate had a heaviness on his heart, Nate was often willing to inject levity and hope into situations that perhaps called for fear and reservation. Instead Nate choose to be a constant ray of sunlight to his brothers and parents, even if his past was filled with gloom.

Glen the once tarnished queen, who had been humiliated and abused by the enemies of her Mate. Glen had become a pillar in her Clan, in her home and even to Brandon. She was rock steady in her compassionate mindset and open minded approach. She may have suffered and she may still carry scars in her soul, but she hadn’t let such things destroy her.

And finally Mantilo the once impotent King who had been gifted a bloody broken home and was later powerless to stop the suffering of the woman he loved. Mantilo had risen from what must have been agonizing guilt and pain, to become the sternest, wisest and benign Clan Head/ Father that Brandon had had the pleasure to know.

Walter had spoken of this very thing.

You’re hiding behind your circumstances.

The Guardian had openly accused.

Suddenly Brandon felt sick...and cowardly for staying in his own self-imposed exile. Continuing to fight away the light that was being offered to him at every turn. By Mantilo and Glen. And especially by Ezekiel.

And suddenly Brandon realized that...perhaps there was another path that he could walk. Was pain and hatred and fear all that he could understand? Was this darkness all that he could internalizes? Would he walk the earth the rest of his days suffering....and unwilling to step away from the horror?

Did he have all of the answers? No.

Did he have the blood of innocent people on his hands? Yes he did. But......even if Brandon took a step back from his own guilt....he also knew that nothing he did was ever going to change what he had down. Nothing would erase the ugliness....or bring back the dead. Remembering the death he had caused, carrying those memories were his eternal punishment. Nothing he did....including suffering, would ever make the faces leave his memories.

Was there a chance that Brandon and all of the Leopards would regret allowing him into their Clan? Yes.

But...after weeks of agonizing emotional limbo where hundreds of questions had risen in his head and blanketed his heart, Brandon knew only a few concrete things existed in his life.

At this point, he was alive. He was free of Hovel. He was safe......and he was undeniably in love. Love that felt more real than the air he was breathing or the fears in his heart.

And Ezekiel claimed to love him back.

And.....for once Brandon was willing to ignore his own inadequacies and welcome in this light at the end of the tunnel. For once.....he had people around him that he didn’t want to disappoint or fail. He had truly garnered a support system.

Swallowing as a slight tremor shot across his heart Brandon steadied his voice and gaze and looked at Ezekiel’s parents.

“Mantilo...Glen...” He started, then sighed, and smiled showing them his jubilation. “I am honored and humbled. I...never thought that you would extend you home and your protection to me indefinitely like this. And I would love to simply accept your offer, but...” Brandon shook his head and implored them to understand. “I sort of need time. I need to sort out some stuff. Is it possible for me to give you an answer sometime tomorrow morning?”

Brandon stopped and inwardly cringed at the dispassion in his requests. The last thing he wanted to do was offend the Mates, but he truly had to speak with Ezekiel before he did anything else.

There was this terrible longing in Brandon....the desire to finally end the painful awkwardness between them. A decision had to be made. And Brandon didn’t know how to make it, unless he could talk it out with Ezekiel face to face.

Perhaps witnessing the love between Mantilo’s parents , or simply lending his ear to their heart wrenching tale, but Brandon was oddly determined now. Determined to do anything but sit in that mansion and internally bitch and moan over his own circumstance.

“Tomorrow? Are you sure?” Glen inquired of him softly. “You can take more time if you need too Brandon. The offer isn’t conditional. And we know it’s not something you can simply take on lightly.”

Brandon was grateful for her understanding, but he just shook his head and firmly stated “No. I don’t need long and I’m not particularly hesitant.” He replied. “I just have something....something important I need to do before I take this step. Is that okay?” he asked the Clan Head, looking from Mantilo to Glen, then back.

Glen smiled at him gently and nodded. Mantilo rumbled and dipped his head in agreement. “We’re not going anywhere Brandon. Well finish this only once you are ready to proceed. Tie up any lose ends you feel you need too.”

“Thank you...” Brandon replied solemnly.

After he said that Mantilo looked at Glen, reached out and dashed his thumb across her cheek. “My heart...” He called, pulling Glens gaze to his own. “WE need to leave soon or we are going to miss our own anniversary. Would you like a moment to freshen up? I fear I trampled your makeup a few minutes ago when I kissed you.”

“OH! You probably didn’t mess up as much as I did with my silly tears.” Glen partly hissed. Then she lifted up, kissed Mantilo’s cheek, cast Brandon one last smile, then she turned on a click of her heels and dashed out into the hall. Then she was gone.

Mantilo quickly settled his eyes on Brandon after his Mate left, and with a gesture of his hand the Clan head got Brandon to walk with him out into the Hallway. When they reached it, Glen was nowhere to be seen.

“So Brandon if I may I’m curious. Where exactly are you off to now?” Mantilo asked him.

Brandon stopped and turned back to Mantilo.

“Um...” Brandon faltered in embarrassment at the inquiry.

Mantilo glanced at Brandon and saw the guilty hesitation on his face. So Mantilo smirked softly, reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

“Brandon...” He started to lecture. “I’m soon to be something of a King to you. I know you’re not weak or a child that needs to be coddled, but you are going to have to get used to me asking you questions, simply so that I can keep tabs on your well-being.” Mantilo expressed then he sobered slightly.

“So I know it seems intrusive, but I need you to start trusting me fully. Every soul under my protection is my responsibility....As Clan Head....It’s my duty to ensure open communication and safety.”

Instantly catching the soft demand in his explanation Brandon stopped the small rebellion in his heart and openly offered the man his cooperation. “I get it. And I do trust you. I trust all of you.”

“Alright.” Mantilo growled happily and suddenly put his arm around Brandon’s shoulders and they walked together. Brandon flinched at the sudden contact, but as the weight and heat of the man touched him through his clothes Brandon relaxed and walked without a problem.

Almost as if Mantilo noticed when he relaxed the Clan head started to press him. “So once more I’ll ask you...Where are you heading to? Keep in mind you don’t have to tell me the Why, just the where Brandon....its not smart to go off without anyone being clear on your direction.”

“Well...” Brandon said as he walked the hallway. “I was actually going to go visit Ezekiel out in his infirmary.”

The silence that fell after this admission felt pointed for some odd reason.

Brandon was acutely aware at that moment that for the two weeks he and Ezekiel had been playing an awkward game of pee-ka-boo with each other. A game that hadn’t exactly been subtle or hidden from the other Leopards living in the Mansion.

But soon enough Mantilo broke the silence as he and Brandon stepped out of the hallway into the front of the home. The front door was wide open and warm air brushed Brandon’s face. The mid-afternoon sun was barely starting to tick towards the tree line in the west. Making Brandon realize for the first time how much he missed the sun.

Mantilo shifted his arm around Brandon shoulder, stepping back, but not releasing him entirely as he asked. “I know you may be anxious to get on your way, but whatever you want to speak to Ezekiel about can’t you wait? He will return from patrols. It is a long walk to the Infirmary for someone who just got back on their feet.”

Brandon frowned. “But I’m fine Mantilo.” He said not wanting to be put off.

Mantilo tilted his head up and scented the air. “Yes, but your body is very tired. You smell of anxious exhaustion to me. But if you insist I’ll leave it alone. Just take it easy and stay on the preset paths, Okay?” he pressed.

“Alright! I’ll take a break if I have too!” Brandon cried almost ecstatically and had to control himself lest he dash to the door.

He suddenly couldn’t curb the desire in his heart, now that he had decided to give into it. After actively avoiding the Guardian for two weeks....He was actively going to seek him out.

Brandon liked the happiness he was feeling. Something....like the relief of taking a breath after being submerged steeled in his heart. IT was disturbingly pleasant to feel like he was no longer desperate to hide from him.

Almost as though Mantilo had read his mind he shook his head, removed his arm from Brandon’s shoulder and smiled.

“Go. Away with you...” Ezekiel’s father said with a flick of his heavy hand. “Just take it easy on my son.” Mantilo amended with a chuckle.

Brandon caught the meaning in his words and fought not to flush. Instead Brandon ducked his head “Okay. Ill...uh. I’ll see you later.” Brandon said back.

Then he turned towards the door so that he could walk around the building to the path that would lead him towards Ezekiels Clinic, but before he could walk across the threshold Mantilo called his name.

“Brandon..!” He called. Brandon turned his head. “I can sense your lingering unease about things, but you must start learning to live your life. You can’t live everyday fearing your father will return. You need to find a way to focus on you and your own happiness. The future is a silent and very cunning thief.”

The Clan head hissed shaking his head. “It often steals our present from us, even as we spend years looking forwards, waiting on some trivial eventuality to become a reality. We lose so much waiting and wasting time. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Sensing the true concern in his words and that the man wanted to ease his troubled heart. Wanting to show the man that he would be fine, Brandon smiled then said. “Nope...Not at all actually. Kind of went right over my head.” he teased and winked.

The Clan Head frowned and hissed at him. “Still a smart ass, huh?”

Brandon smiled. Then he waved goodbye as he exited the home. He looked back just before he turned the last step, but Mantilo was gone.

*That's the update for this week. Hope you enjoyed the read and getting some more exploration about the King and Queen Leopards pasts.

Please comment and or like the book if your enjoying the story so far. It really helps me out. PS- going forwards I WONT be able to add images to the story because Tapas says I got reported for adding images and  that I cant add images unless I can prove that I am allowed to use them and Im not at all sure if I know what they would need from me to prove right to use or if I even want to DEAL with that kind of head ache. Sorry if anyone wanted to read the story with the chapter and chracter specific pictures included that I have for each of the books.

Hope you still enjoy!!