Without getting specific, I have an account that's linked to a couple of devices back at the family home. I forgot about this until I got an email tonight about it.
I decided to delete everything on it, app by app, before disconnecting both devices from my account.
The only person I remember using the devices besides myself was Lyndsay and sometimes another older family member. Honestly, she used it more than I did at some points, despite them being a gift for me. A gift for getting a job in my field... which all she gave me at the time was "Congrats, I guess" and walked away. No, the devices gift doesn't make up for her shitty attitude, which really did hurt. In fact, now that I think about it, she did this kinda thing a lot. Act apathetic or passive-aggressive when I share some good news and then turn around and shove a gift in my arms. I'm sure she's doing that because I'd make it clear that how she acted hurt me, but shallow materialism could never make up for a genuine apology. I'd remember the occasions where I declined her gifts or called her out on her cold behaviour and just got excuses or her deflective catchphrase "you're 'making me' feel like the 'Bad Guy'."
I'm sure they'll just set things up with someone else's account, but since she's not very good at this kind of stuff, it'll probably take a little while. It's not my gift anymore. It was another one of the many things I had to let go of or leave behind in order to finally escape.
I don't mind letting go of this so much, however.
On the other hand, I guess it's not so much revenge as it feels like yet another day where I need to tell cut ties with the past again.
I won't be surprised if I get a text from another family member about it. I need to think about how I want to share my feelings.
Extra thing: I noticed that after my counselling appointment, I'm getting less flashbacks. They still appear, but it's nice. These days I'm getting about 5 hours of sleep plus some a nap/rest period in the afternoon. I definitely feel a little more energetic.
So, I finally tried leaving my abusive family members, again. I lost count of how many other attempts. Maybe recording my thoughts in a memoir will help. There's always so much that's left unsaid.
Names and places have been changed. Discretion is advised.
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