Oh, she wants me help with taxes! Ain't that just something!
I wrote a response, but I haven't sent it yet.
I didn't send it because I'm scared.
A younger family member still lives in her house. I know an older family member who's also dependent on Lyndsay for tax work. I'm afraid that she'll take her feelings out on them because that's her way of dealing with situations. She's not physically violent, but passive-aggressive in conversations. She'll act cold, look - or create - reasons to criticize or lash out at people because she needs a verbal punching bag. If she does acknowledge the real person who made her upset or angry, well, get ready to be an unwilling participant in her spontanious pity-party!
I remember one time where she complained that I wasn't fulfilling my end of our agreement by not taking on more household chores. Beforehand, anytime she came at me about our agreement, it was only ever about employment. Not she's coming to me about this. However, I relented and we agreed that I would do extra chores because by this point she refused to get councilling, I had a job, was saving money, and did whatever I could to avoid her. I knew I would be out before the end of the year and wanted to save my energy for my job.
So, yeah, we had a talk about me helping with more chores and I agreed to. I chose to clean the bathrooms, mow the backyard, and help buy groceries once a week - and I kept to that.
Fast-forward later that month, about 2-3 weeks later. I'm getting the cloth and bottle to start cleaning the bathrooms. And Lyndsay... starts getting upset. She starts going on about chores again. I try to remain calm and straightforward. This is how the last part of the convo basically went:
Lyndsay: "I just feel like I do everything around here!"
Me: "I'm about to clean the bathrooms and I've been doing them for the last two weekends."
Lynsday: "Well, you don't tell me!"
Me: "What are you talking about!? We talked about chores earlier this month! I told you that one of things I'd do is clean the bathrooms."
A beat of silence as she looks at me. Then she quietly scoffs, shakes her head, and walks away.
Lyndsay: "I'm not saying anything."
And that's it. Conversation over. Doesn't even sound like she believed me, but just didn't have a counter-argument. Granted, this was one of the BETTER arguments I had with her.
I haven't sent the email yet. I don't want my younger family member to take the brunt of her feelings when he's still dependent on her. He's working towards that and last I checked, he's getting close, so I don't want to sabotage it.
For now atleast, I'm going to ignore the email and focus on my counciling appointment next week. I live in a whole other county, so the worst she can do is spam emails, which she hasn't done yet.
So, I finally tried leaving my abusive family members, again. I lost count of how many other attempts. Maybe recording my thoughts in a memoir will help. There's always so much that's left unsaid.
Names and places have been changed. Discretion is advised.
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