8-Risk it all

Garrett's pov

Ever since I dared to tell Brandon that he makes me feel like I'm just his boy toy, we haven't seen each other nor talked to each other.

Thank goodness it was the Easter break or else I wouldn't have a reason to not talk to him.

He hasn't tried to contact me since then and I don't know if that's a good thing. My friend Rachel surely would think so but I don't know...

I'm still devastated about that through. As much as I hated how he treated me, I still loved the times we had together even if we only had sex.

I was desperate alright? If that was what would make him still want to see me then I had to compline even if I didn't like it.

The kind of relationship we were in isn't something I like that I know. I prefer to be in a committed relationship.

Though, I don't know what to feel about what Brandon and I had. It wasn't even a serious thing. He would just call me whenever he wanted just so he could get into the act that's all.

I don't know if what I did was the right thing through because of that I might've lost him. That's not what I wanted. I just wanted to be treated as a human being you know? That wasn't what he was giving me.

I just...I can't help but wanted more. That's what I wanted from the start. I wanted him seriously. I instantly fell in love with him. Though, I doubt he sees me as anything other than just a boy toy... He didn't deny it...

I already knew about his lifestyle and I had a plan eventually to get rid of it but how could I continue what we are doing when he doesn't even love me in return?

Most people would tell me to give up on him but I can't help but want him...It's not another guy that I want. It's him that I want.

I haven't been in love in years and now I'm certain I love him not just sexual attraction.

The truth is that I'm older than him, so I'm already at the next step while he's probably not.

I'm closing on my twenties. I can't help but start to be in a committed relationship and think about marriage. It's going too far but deep down that's what I want, what I wish for.

It's crazy that he's still after all the guy I invasion doing it with, a future with.

Despite his lifestyle, he's everything I want in a guy, my dream guy. I just can't give up on him..even if I think he did..Oh how I wish he didn't...

Anyways I have to stop thinking about this now, I'm at work I can't go thinking about this.

Easter break is over so we're back at work today. In a sense, I'm actually glad we do because this way I can do something else than think about the whole situation.

"What's making you so sad this morning? We just got through Easter break. What could possibly be troubling you?"

Rachel! Why didn't I try talking to her during the break?

"Oh..it's nothing important."

"Oh come on. Of course, it's important, if it wasn't important, you wouldn't be here looking troubled."

"No, I'm fine.." She comes closer to me.

"Look, if you're not ready to tell me that's fine. It's ok to not be ok." She hugs me. I wasn't expecting that...

"Rachel.."

"I don't know what's wrong but just know I'm here ok?"

"Thanks, Rachel you're the best."

"You can always count on me."

"Yes.."

"Now let's get to work!"

"Yeah"

——————-

It is currently lunch hour and I'm on my lunch break with Rachel.

I'm feeling tempted to tell her about what happened between Brandon and me. I haven't told her yet because I didn't want to burden her with my problems. We haven't been colleagues for a long time.

She knows about my family and that I'm gay. Though, I refused to tell her about my love life. That's yeah...personal.

Oh..as much as I hate to be a burden I know that I have to tell her. I really want to tell someone.

"Rachel..."

"Yeah?"

"I have to tell you something."

"Is it about this morning?" She says slightly worried.

"Yeah.."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"But I want to." I try to sound convincing.

"Ok then..." Oh good.

"I know you might be mad after I tell you but..."

"Why would I be mad? I have no reason to be mad."

"I know but...you will..."

"Ok...I promise I won't." She says sincerely.

I tell her about everything. Everything that's happened between Brandon and me. Of course, I had to tell her about what happened..and yeah...she's mad...

"How could you let him treat you that way?!" I don't want her to be mad...I don't like it.

"Please don't be mad.."

"I know I'm sorry..." She says feeling guilty.

"No...I understand why you feel that way. It's just that.."

"You had a reason to let him treat you that way?"

"Oh...uh well I didn't want him to treat me that way but..."

"Rett I want you to be honest with me. You love him don't you?"

"Yes..." I blush.

"What do you see in that guy?" She tries to ask calmly but fails.

"He has everything I want in a guy.."

"Like what? You like the way he treats you?!"

"Rachel!" She sits back down after standing up because she was and.

"Sorry. I just...I don't like how this guy is treating you. He can't treat you like you are a toy."

"I know...I just can't help but want to be with him.."

"But why Rett? Why?" She says desperate.

"I don't know I just do...He's..."

"Perfect in bed?" She questions.

"Yeah..." I become red.

"Oh...Rett. That's not a reason to want to be with someone."

"I know but I just see some potential in him."

"You do? With that kind of lifestyle, he has?"

"Well yeah, I hope so."

"He won't give up on his lifestyle for you Rett." She says firmly.

"I know but...I can't help but want to try...try to make him give up on it and choose me."

"Those types of guys don't care about your feelings. They just care about getting it done."

"Not true!" Tears start to fall on my cheeks rapidly.

"Ret...I didn't..." She says guilty and worried. Then, she chooses to come closer and hug me.

"It's just that I really want him...I'll do anything to have him."

"I don't really understand why you do but I guess I can't convince you."

"Yeah..." I finally stop shedding tears and she stops hugging me.

"So what are you going to do now? You said you haven't talked to each other since then."

"I'll try to get him to talk."

"Wow...you're that desperate."

"Yeah...I really hope he doesn't hate me."

"I doubt he does. He probably went to another."

"Rachel! You can't say that!"

"Oh oops." She says with a small smile.

"I really hope I didn't do wrong by telling him that."

"You did what was right. I don't know why you're so desperate for a guy that his only goal is to get into your pants but all I know is that if he does care about you at least a little bit he should treat you better than that."

"I know...He's not a bad guy..."

"You don't even know about what kind of guy he's like. How can you know he didn't go at another behind your back?"

"I can't know for sure but...I trust him..."

"You trust him? The same guy that you claimed treated you like a toy?"

"Yeah...I do..."

"Fine, do what you want. If he really cares about you like you seem to say, he'll want to treat you better. He'll apologize."

"I hope he will."

"If he doesn't then just know I told you."

"Yeah...thanks, Rachel..." I hug her.

"You can trust me. I'll always have your back."

"And I'm glad you do."

"Me too."

——————

Even if Rachel isn't fond of my idea I can't help but not give up. I don't want to give up on him. I don't believe he's just a boy that wants to get inside my pants even if I know what kind of lifestyle he has.

I just know that deep down I'm more than just a toy even if he made me feel like it.

At first, he said I was just a mere fling and he didn't want to see me again. In the end, I won in his heart because he saw me again more than once.

He saw me every day. I could feel that he was less resistant than he first was.

Now I just wish I'll be able to see him again. I want to see him again...a guy like him...I can't give up on that. I can't give up on everything I worked so hard to achieve.

I refuse to believe that this is the end. Rachel is actually right in a sense. I have yet to see how much he cares about me. I can't let him go without giving him a chance.

So as today it's finally Friday and I am available, I have decided to risk it all and text him.

Garrett: Good evening, can we talk?

To my grand surprise, he answers almost immediately. I was sure it was the end of us.

Brandon: Talk not too sure but yes.
Garrett: Then, do you mind going to a restaurant?
Brandon: Restaurant? What for?
Garrett: To talk.
Brandon: Why go there when we can talk at mine's?
Garrett: I want to talk to you seriously.
Brandon: As in a real talk?
Garrett: Yes.
Brandon: Then, I'm not interested in eating in a restaurant.
Garrett: Where then?
Brandon: How about in my place?

He doesn't get it, does he?

Garrett: I'm serious. We have to talk.
Brandon: Talk about what?

He can't be serious right now?

Garrett: A conversion between two people.
Brandon: We can do that in my place.

Oh, I surrender...

Garrett: Do you want to come to my place instead?

He doesn't answer for a few minutes and then he finally does.

Brandon: Your place? Is it close to where I live?
Garrett: I believe 10 minutes from your place.
Brandon: Ok

Is that a yes?!

Garrett: You're coming?
Brandon: Sure I am. Give me the address.

I give him the address and sure enough, he is serious.

Brandon: Thanks can't wait to see you.
Garrett: Me too.

I blush at that. Omg, he can't wait to see me?! He wants to see me!! He's coming to my place!!

I hide in my bed covers in pure happiness.

—————

I finally hear a knock and open the door. Sure enough, he is here. I instantly smile and get flustered about seeing him.

"Hey"

"Hey," He smiles in return.

He gets in and kisses me. I can't help but let him.

"Your place looks cool."

"Thanks."

And now it's awkward...

"So..What did you mean in your text?"

"I...I...I think we need to talk." I say nervously.

"Is it about last time?" He asks confused.

"Yes..."

"If what you said was true...It wasn't my intention."

"Really?" I say all hopeful.

"It wasn't. I just thought we were having a good time and then you said that..."

"Yeah.." I say awkwardly.

"I never thought you would...feel that way. I thought you were having fun."

"Well...I was but..."

"What made you feel like a toy?" He says directly.

"The only thing you did was...call me and just you know.."

"And that made you feel like a toy?"

"Yes," I say embarrassed.

"If it makes you feel better..." Is he going to give a solution to the problem?

"What?"

"Let's be fuck buddies."

"Huh? Fuck...buddies?"

"That way you won't feel like a toy...and well, we'll still get to have sex whenever we want to."

"Really? You're willing to do that...for me?" I ask hesitantly but still hopeful deep down.

"Yeah...You're the only one that I want right now as strange as it sounds." I can't help but kiss him upon hearing that.

"Oh, Brandon.."

"Ugh...the way you say my name.."

"What about it?" I ask innocently.

"Makes me want to devour you."

"Do it" I say confident. He looks at me with lust already in his eyes.

"Lead the way."

——————

In the end, we end up doing it for a few rounds. I realize how much I missed it.

In a way, he was serious when he said we were..fuck buddies. It felt more like we were two in this. It feels like he was treating me better. It only makes me happy that he does.

Though, we didn't only have sex, we talked a bit before and I learned some things I wished I hadn't known and other things I'm glad to know.

He admitted that during our time apart he did do it with someone else. Only one person through and it was the bartender. How surprising is that?

It makes me sad that he did it but I can't...blame him...Anyways, what he said to
afterwards made me so happy.

He admitted that he was thinking of me while doing it with that bartender...I don't know what to think about that. The only thing I know is that he admitted he wanted me and only me even though he revealed he's not limited to only me. I wish he were...

Anyways, there's something that shocked me. I dared open up the topic about using his ass and he actually admitted he bottomed before. Though, as hopeful as I was to try it out, he didn't want to. That only makes me more curious about what it's like to do the opposite I always do, being on the giving end not the receiving end.

As much as I'm happy right now, I'm tired and all I want to do is sleep.

"Tired?" He asks.

"Yeah"

"I guess I am too."

"Will you stay tomorrow?"

"Well...I would but I have work so..."

"Till when?"

"5 pm?"

"That's...too many hours."

"I know but I have to."

We are currently in my bed both naked. Not too surprising. I decide to hug him and to my surprise he lets me. Even if it's that he remains slightly tense.

"But...you don't have to work that many hours right?"

"I mean I could ask to work less but..."

"What kind of job do you have?"

"Oh...not like yours..." I want to know what's his job...How disappointing. To light up the mood, he kisses me everywhere on my neck.

"Mm"

"We should sleep now."

"Yeah..."

Eventually, we actually fall asleep still cuddled together. I can't help but fall asleep with a smile on my face.

——————

Last night was still progress. I still can't believe he let me fall asleep and cuddled with him! I hope he knows how much I love cuddling.

Of course, he had to leave this morning but he promised he'll see me tonight. We even kissed before he left. I'm so happy right now!

Anyways, it's a good thing he left because I promised my parents I would visit them today which is exactly what I'm doing now.

As much as I'm happy right now, I couldn't help but tell everything to my mom and of course, she told my dad. So, right now, I'm dealing with them.

"Garrett! How can you lend a guy like that?!" My mom says.

"Mom...I love him..."

"You can't let a guy like that control you!" My mom says mad.

"We agreed to become um..fuck buddies.."

"Fuck buddies? Damn, son. You sure it's serious?" My dad asks.

"We'll get there!"

"If you say he's important to you..." My mom doesn't finish her sentence.

"I want to meet him." My mom and I both look at my dad shocked.

"What?"

"I want to see that man. I want to see for myself if he's serious with you."

"You can't be serious Dad.."

"Oh yes, I am. Invite him for tonight. Amanda and her husband are coming tonight. We were gonna ask you to join anyways."

"I can't just ask something like that to him!"

"Why not? Didn't you say he's serious about you?"

"But..."

"No, but I want to see him. I'll test him. I'll tell you if he's a good man for you."

"Dad.."

"David you can't be possibly serious about this?" My mom asks.

"Yes, I am. Our son will know what kind of guy he's got himself involved with."

"Fine...I'll ask him." I surrender.

"Good"

Even if my dad likes to play tough I have a feeling he'll actually get along with Brandon. They are similar in a way.

Oh, dear...I guess I have to find a way to make Brandon come tonight. Through, knowing he refuses to see me other than in his apartment or mine, I have huge concerns he won't accept this. Even if it's that, I know my parents aren't wrong and I hope he'll say yes. I'll get to know more about him directly.