(TW// Mentions of Self Harm// Sex Work// Dr*gs)

“What is it?” Kai looked at me confused and I handed him the card that was inside the envelope.

“Oh,” Kai gasped softly, “this is so sweet. Why didn’t he just ask in person?”

“Connor is so much more awkward than he ever lets on,” I sniffled, “I guarantee he wasn’t sure how to ask me to give him away. Give him my blessing to marry Juniper. I… didn’t realize that the groom needed that though?” I looked at my mother confused.

“They typically don’t,” Joanna shook her head, “but Connor has no family here and they can’t be here right now. So… as the closest thing to family for him, he wants you to stand with him. To give him to Juniper.”

“Of course I will. I knew they were meant to be the minute I met Connor.”

“Yeah?” Connor called from the van window as they pulled into the driveway, “you’re gonna walk with me in your fancy emerald suit?”

“Your wife is the one who picked it,” I huffed as he got close and I hugged him tightly, “I am more than happy to do this for you,” I whispered softly.

“Thank you,” he whispered back, rubbing my back.

Once my father, Isaac, and Juniper were out of the van, we all headed inside. I was exhausted and kept yawning, cuddling in Kai’s lap on the couch.

“Shi,” Joanna laughed softly, “honey I set up your room for you and Kai.”

“Juniper needs that room. She can’t get up the stairs.”

“I know,” Connor laughed, “Alder and Cora are going to be in the guestroom upstairs, and Juniper is going to stay in the one down here. You and Kai will be down here too, and I'm going to sleep on Isaac's floor. Isaac is going to need to be in his bed and I don't like him enough to share."

“Huh? Why?” I looked at Isaac.

“I have a special device on my bed that holds my arm up for me all night or I’ll roll on it and cut off the circulation without realizing,” Isaac shrugged.

“Right… okay. Why isn't Connor sleeping with Juni though?”

“It’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding. Duh,” Juniper rolled her eyes, “so I’m going to stay here with you and Joanna to get ready, and Kai, Isaac, and Connor are going to our new house to get him ready there.”

“Ah. Okay,” I pouted, “I thought Kai would be here with me though.”

“I’m the only one who knows how to put Connor’s complicated ass wedding outfit together,” Kai laughed, “I’ll be back with you as soon as I can.”

“Well… okay. Then I’m gonna head to bed. I have so much to do tomorrow. Goodnight Ma, night Pa. I love you.”

“We love you,” my parents smiled.

Getting to my feet, I pulled Kai down the hallway to my childhood bedroom and locked the door behind us.

“Gah. I’m worn out! Too much family time,” I groaned, flopping onto the bed.

“Babe,” Kai laughed, coming over and lifting my hips to take my pants off before taking off my prosthetic.

Kai undressing me when I was tired had become a nightly occurrence. It rarely led to intimacy, he simply enjoyed touching my skin and taking care of me and I indulged this.

“What?” I huffed, tossing my sweater onto the floor and climbing up to lie on the pillows.

“You were really trying to sleep fully clothed. As always. Without me, you forget to get ready for bed,” he undressed to his shirt and underwear and climbed in next to me, holding me tightly.

“No. I just like watching you get me ready for bed. It makes you so happy,” I laughed, rubbing his arm softly, “are you ready for tomorrow?”

“I’m probably gonna cry when I bring Juniper down the aisle. I never… I never thought I’d see the day that Juni got married.”

“Well, we get to see all kinds of things. Their wedding, maybe they’ll have kids. We’ll get to be uncles!”

“What about our own wedding?” he whispered, kissing me softly.

“Eventually. Yes. That’ll be lovely. I’ll plan the entire thing.”

“And babies?”

“I’m still not having one, Kai.”

“I know,” he ran his fingers through my hair, “I realize now why you’re so scared. I understand. I won’t push for you to use a surrogate. No matter what, any children in our home will be ours.”

“Why don’t we adopt at some point?” I smiled, “have a surrogate for two, adopt one and then decide if we want to adopt again or have one more. If we want four. We could also have one and pour all of our love and affection into that one child.”

“Hm… let’s see how having one baby goes and go from there,” he smiled, gently rubbing my lower stomach.

“I’m a guy. I can’t get pregnant,” I snorted.

“I know I know. I just like touching you. You know that.”

“I know,” yawning softly, I cuddled closer and Kai gently kissed my forehead as I drifted off to sleep.

“Goodnight Shiloh,” I could hear him whisper, “I… I love you.”

His final words escaped me as I was pulled into a lovely dream of the two of us chasing a little girl who looked identical to him around the back of our home here in Idaho.

“Shiloh,” Kai whispered softly, “baby we have to get up. It’s time to get ready for the wedding.”

“Five more minutes,” I groaned, burying my face in his bare chest, “where’d ya shirt go?”

“Same place it always does. You’re an oven. Get up.”

“Kiss me,” I tilted my head and Kai kissed me softly, “how long do I have until I actually have to get up?”

“About 20 minutes,” he laughed softly.

“Ugh that’s too soon,” I yawned, fluffing my hair, “I won’t even have time for breakfast.”

“I have food waiting in the dining room for you. I’m going to pick up breakfast with Isaac and Connor. I can’t wait to see you in your suit,” he smiled, kissing my cheek.

“Can I ask something?”

“Always,” he whispered, rubbing my arm gently.

“Did I imagine you telling me something as I drifted off to sleep?”

“Ah,” he flushed, “um… all I said was goodnight.”

“Oh,” I giggled softly, “that’s what I thought. Okay,” stretching, I groaned quietly, “your sister is lucky I love her. Cutting into my time to sleep.”

“We’ll get plenty tonight after the wedding. We’ll have a lovely dinner, dance a little, and have some drinks. Then we can hang out in here and watch movies the rest of the night.”

“Gotta rest up for our date I suppose,” I laughed softly.

“Not our date, dork. Christmas is tomorrow.”

“Fuck,” I whined, “why? I only got a gift for you.”

“I only got a gift for you too. Don’t worry too much.”

“Fine,” sighing softly, I finally sat up, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Can I join you?” he gently kissed my shoulder.

“This is my parent's house,” I laughed softly.

“You have a private bathroom right there,” he pointed to the bathroom in my bedroom.

“Fine, fine. Come on. But you’re holding me up. I took my shower chair to Oregon.”

Kai and I took a quick shower as I leaned into him for balance and once we were clean, we changed into comfortable clothing before grabbing what we needed. He gave me what felt like 50 kisses before leaving with Connor and Isaac, and I sat in the dining room with Joanna and Juniper, eating the breakfast that Kai had ordered for us.

“I swear he always gets the worst food,” Juniper groaned, eating her pancakes, “these aren’t as good as yours, Shi.”

“Literally don’t have time to cook for you today, babes that’s all,” I laughed softly, “I still have to get myself ready, do your hair and make-up, do Ma’s, and help Charlie. Cora wanted me to braid flowers into her hair.”

“You’re always so busy. Shi, you have to rest at some point,” Joanna sighed gently, squeezing my arm.

“I do… rest,” clearing my throat, I carried my plate to the sink and started washing it.

“Now that’s a bold face fucking lie,” Juniper snorted, “Shi. You get up at 330 in the morning. Every morning. You bake everything you need for the cafe, wake up Kai, and make coffee and breakfast. Then you head to work an hour before him. You stay there until 6 pm. Then you eat dinner with us, watch something with Kai, and get ready for bed at 10 pm. You don’t rest. You don’t sleep. Even now, when we’re on a vacation for the holidays, you’re still pushing yourself too hard. It worries me. Worries all of us.”

Hanging my head in shame, I wrung my hands before coming back to the table and plopping down, “I have to stay busy, Juni. I have to have things controlled. Routine makes it easier on my mental health. It’s the same for Kai. You know how much he needs to know what’s going on around him. That’s why we do all of the same little outings and rarely change them. Drawing and writing in the park, then the farmers market on Sunday. Eating every meal together. It just makes us feel better. I won’t keep going like this, I swear. But we have a lot to do over the next year. As soon as we move here, Kai and I have a lot to do with the house and the land behind it. I don’t have the time to rest right now.”

“But you do,” Juniper squeezed my hand softly, “by asking Kai to take some of that on. Stop doing everything. You’re pushing yourself too much, and Kai is listless because you’re doing everything. He’s so used to doing things alone, that having you there to do them is hard for him. Split tasks between you. Okay? Do it for me, if no one else.”

“I… alright. I know you’re right,” wiping my nose on my sleeve, I hugged her tightly, “Will made me do everything. He had no idea how to take care of himself. I forget sometimes that Kai raised you and doesn’t need me to do everything for him. It’s… how I show my feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

“Acts of service,” Joanna laughed, “oh Shi you’re just like Pa. I would have never guessed that was your love language.”

“Acts of service and quality time,” I nodded, “Kai is physical touch and words of affirmation. We complete each other I suppose.”

“That’s beautiful,” Juniper sighed happily, “oh you’re the best thing that ever happened to Kai and me.”

“That’s what Kai says too,” I laughed, “um… can I tell you two something?”

“Anything,” Joanna nodded.

“So… Kai and I have been together for 6 months now. He considered all our little outings after… well Juni you know… dates. He was courting me all old-fashioned without me realizing it. Anyway, the reason I mention this is… I… I love him and I want to tell him.”

“We know,” Joanna and Juniper laughed at the same time.

“Yeah. I figure it’s obvious.”

“Maybe to us,” Juniper laughed, “but Kai is dumb as shit. He probably hasn’t realized it. He’s still surprised when he wakes up next to you. Or you come home after grocery shopping. It’s not that he’s waiting for you to leave him, it’s that he doesn’t think he’s worthy of you. You know as well as I do that Kai has very little self-worth. Joanna,” Juniper looked over at my mother, “my brother made a lot of mistakes. I mean a lot, to keep me fed, clothed, in a home. He… used to steal food and clothing. He briefly sold drugs before realizing how unsafe that was. He did everything for me after our mother was murdered. She was a sex worker in Boston to take care of us. Our father was… one of her clients and… abandoned us. Kai protected me from all of that and entirely changed his life. He finished college, opened his business, got us a home. He did all of that for me. I don’t want you to think less of him for his choices, they weren’t selfish, nor did Kai ever use anything himself. He was just trying to take care of me. But I wanted you to understand why someone like Shiloh coming into his life, someone so open and caring, confuses him. He feels so unworthy of that kind of affection because of the choices he had to make for me. Or at least felt he had to make. Kai and I were alone our entire life. Even with my mom around, Kai was all I had. He raised me. He’s the one who changed my diapers, made my bottles, took me to every doctor’s appointment when he was old enough. He had to grow up so fast. He was never allowed to be a child. But… Shiloh shows him that it’s okay to be himself. To be silly and gentle. To collect those stupid stuffed cows that literally fill a closet at home. To color. Kai… is a wonderful man, even if he was misguided for years. He’s still struggling with his mental health. I want to thank you for raising such a wonderful man in Shiloh. Without him, Kai would be dead. He… Kai used to self-harm. He cut himself too deep almost 7 months ago now. You had to have noticed the scars on the inside of his arms. The big twisted one at the base of his hand… that almost took his life. But Shiloh happened to go into the cafe and found Kai. Saved my brother. I think that was the day Kai accepted how he felt about Shiloh. Knowing that Shiloh wasn’t disgusted or disappointed in him. Just concerned. I can never thank Shiloh enough for choosing to love my brother. I also can’t think of a better partner for your son. Kai has a heart of gold. Even if it’s a little broken after years of pain.”

Joanna wiped a few tears away, clearing her throat softly before coming over and hugging Juniper tightly, “I am so sorry. For the both of you. That your lives were so hard from the time you were children. There was nothing you could have told me about Kai that would have changed my opinion of him. He’s a wonderful man and I know how much he loves my Shiloh. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet. Or maybe he does and hasn’t told Shi. I don’t know. But, I want you to know that if you and Kai want parents, you’ve gained them in Thatcher and me. Connor included.”

“I’d love nothing more, Ma,” Juniper smiled, gently squeezing Joanna.

“I’ve always wanted a daughter,” Joanna whispered softly, “well I have one. But she’s waiting for me with my dad.”

“Penny right?”

“Penelope Willow.”

“Oh… that’s a wonderful name… thank you for sharing that with me.”

“It’s far more old-fashioned than Kai’s name,” I let out a tear-filled laugh.

“Yeah, I have no idea what my mom was thinking,” Juniper snorted.

“What’s Kai’s full name?” Joanna smiled, wiping away more tears.

“Kai Orion Winters,” I smiled, “it works but it’s…”

“Unique. Valentina had a thing for unique names. I mean I’m named after a tree.”

“So am I,” Alder called from behind us, “and my little brother.”

“Absolutely forgot you were in the house,” I laughed, taking deep breaths after he startled me, “how long have you been there?”

“About the time you all started crying,” Alder shrugged, coming over and taking a piece of bacon from Joanna’s plate, “morning Auntie.”

“Morning babe,” Joanna softly patted his cheek, “is Cora still sleeping?”

“She has to for Delilah. Apparently, being pregnant is exhausting.”

“Well duh,” Juniper rolled her eyes, “she’s growing a whole person in her stomach. You have another daughter. You should know this.”

“Just wait. You’ll see,” Alder laughed.

“Ah… so…” Juniper softly cleared her throat, “yeah about that… um… Connor and I saved up money and… well I thought I was dying. So… I told the hospital this before my surgery but… I’m 3 months pregnant. We went and had invitro done… Connor saved up all the money for it. It wasn’t too much, only a thousand. So… yeah. I’m due in June.”

We all stared at her in shock before I started to laugh, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Oh, holy shit… Kai is going to kill you for not telling him!”

“He’ll live. We find out the gender in a month. Not that it matters, but I’m curious.”

“Oh, man. I have so much to buy.”

“Not right now. It’s wedding time!” Joanna laughed.