TW: References to child abuse

I sat on the porch steps, trying to process what we’d just realized.  I was so tempted to go get a beer from the fridge, but being drunk for this probably wasn’t the best idea, not to mention I had no idea when Mom would get here and I didn’t exactly want her first impression of me to be a drunk teenager.

Oh man, Dad actually knew about supernaturals and had reason to suspect, Kat was ranting.  And he would have been more of a threat to actually killing us than I realized.  I just figured if he ever lost his mind and went after you, I’d handle it, but this is a whole different level.  He must have suspected something, like genuinely suspected.  I wonder how he and Mom even got together?  Or did he kill her?  Nah, couldn’t have, not if he said he called her.  Though…we weren’t there for the call, so for all we know, he could have made that up.

Great, just what I needed, the fear that I was waiting for someone to show up who was actually never going to.

He said he called her and she was planning to come, I offered moodily.  I had to believe it was true or I was going to be in a huge mess.  He was in such a bad mood that day, I think it has to be from actually dealing with her and not just pretending.

Kat considered this.  Okay, point taken.  Probably she is alive.  I wonder why, though?  Maybe he never confirmed with her?  And why keep us if he suspected?

I sighed, feeling like I was pointing out the obvious.  Maybe he didn’t suspect at first.  I’m human, you know?  Err, mostly.  So he may have not realized until he saw me ‘spacing out’ or being fine playing alone all the time and started to wonder if I was just weird or it was something more.

The thing about being alone was that I was never alone.  I wasn’t as bothered by things like lack of friends because I always had Kat with me.  People often thought I was “weird” because they’d see me sitting alone, apparently spacing out or whatever they wanted to call it.  In reality, I was talking to Kat, sometimes having animated debates about something we’d learned in a class.  I didn’t even care much about people calling me weird or whatever, because no matter what they said, I had Kat on my side.

But Dad would have noticed how “weird” I was.  And maybe that made him suspect something more, especially if he knew what Mom was – well, assuming she was what we were.  So maybe that was why he was afraid of me and/or hated me.  Because he suspected I was supernatural even if he couldn’t prove it.

I put my head in my hands.  I don’t even know how to feel about this now.  I thought I was settled on my feelings about Dad, but now it turns out he used to be a Hunter?  I paused.  He couldn’t have still been one, right?  He never traveled or anything that I remember.

Nah, he had to have retired, Kat agreed dismissively.  He didn’t take trips and the only people he hung out with in town are the people at the pub, who definitely aren’t Hunters.  But yeah, I get it.  She was quiet for a bit.  He probably killed supernaturals at some point, she whispered.

Yeah, way to complicate things.  I could tell why Dad wouldn’t have ever brought this up – if he suspected I was a supernatural, definitely not the ideal bonding subject, and if he thought I was human, he probably didn’t want to mention it at all – but it was still a confusing thing to discover.

How do you deal with knowing your dad was a Hunter?  That he likely killed people like you in the past?  That he may have killed people – including children – who never would have harmed anyone?

The only reason I even knew about Hunters was because of Gemma, an exchange student who’d stayed in town last year.  She’d been a supernatural and Kat had ended up meeting and hanging out with her, just to have some supernatural contact.  During that time Gemma had explained a lot of stuff about the supernatural world.  She didn’t know what we were, but at least she and Kat had been good friends while she’d been here.

“Ezra?”

I jumped as I looked up, not expecting anyone to be there since I’d been so sidetracked in my own drama.  The woman standing there wasn’t someone I recognized, which meant – she was probably my mom, right?

I could hear Kat’s caution in my head as I stood up, shifting uneasily from foot to foot.  “Are you Candice?  My mom?”

“I am,” she confirmed.

She looked a little like Kat, I guess.  Kat’s hair color was richer and she was, to be honest, prettier, but I could see some resemblance there.

“I didn’t know when you were coming,” I murmured.  “But, uh, I’ve been packing stuff I want.  Not sure what to do about the furniture and things.  And Dad’s stuff.”  I winced a bit at that last bit.  Now that I realized Dad had something that couldn’t just be easily disposed of, I really didn’t know what to do with it.

She seemed a bit surprised that I was so responsible, I guess.  Probably when she’d been coming up the driveway, she’d just seen me there with my head in my hands and assumed I was crying and upset, which would make sense given the context, while in reality I was just trying to process this discovery.

You’re going to have to ask her, Kat told me bluntly.  We need to know.

I gulped a bit and then motioned to the door.  “Do you want to come in?  I guess we need to talk.”

Mom – Candice – followed me inside the house and took a brief glance around, her expression telling me she didn’t care much for the décor, but at least she didn’t say anything about it and instead just gingerly took a seat, trying to mask her dislike while focusing her attention on me.

“I suppose you have a lot of questions, probably starting with why I was never around,” she told me.

“Yes,” I agreed, “I would like an answer to that.  But first I need to know if you’re more than just human.”  We could tell she was a supernatural of some type, but was she what we were?  Or something else entirely?

For a moment she stared at me, and then slowly let out a long sigh.  “I’m a shifter.  An aardvark.”

Wow, that was unexpected.

“And Dad was a Hunter.”  I stated firmly.

She wasn’t surprised at this, though, like I’d have expected.  “Right.”  She sighed again.  “So when we met, I didn’t know that, for obvious reasons.  We were dating and then married and in love with each other, and then it all crashed and burned just days after you were born.  He found me in the backyard in shifted form, and put the pieces together.  There was a lot of yelling and he was stunned that he hadn’t realized – despite being a Hunter – while I was in turn stunned that I’d married a Hunter.

“But then he made his judgment call.  He told me he’d retire from being a Hunter and not kill me, but in return I had to get out of your lives and not bother you again.  Since you were human, I figured that was maybe the best thing, though,” she sighed a little bit again, “I also figured he wasn’t going to portray supernaturals kindly to you, which was unfortunate.”

I stared at her for a moment, processing.

She doesn’t know.  Kat sounded as confused as I was.  And she isn’t what we are.  How does that even work?

I wasn’t going to ask.  I didn’t know why we were what we were, but I didn’t trust this woman enough to ask her.  After all, she’d just admitted to giving up on me just so she could protect herself.  It was kind of hard to feel too sympathetic for her.

“Dad never talked about supernaturals.  I only figured out he was a Hunter after he died.”  Belatedly, I realized it wouldn’t make sense to know about Hunters if that was the case, so I added a bit of truth mixed with a lie.  “I had a supernatural friend here last year who told me about them.  I figured out the details about Dad’s weapons on my own when I found them in the closet.”

“Oh.”  She cheered up a bit.  “Well, I suppose that’s for the best then.  We can just, um, toss those?  And move on.  It’s not that big of a deal, anyway!”  She actually looked more enthusiastic now.  “I’ve remarried and have a step-daughter.  I think you’ll like having a sister for a change, instead of just you and your dad, it’ll be nice to have someone around to take care of stuff, right?  Although,” her smile faded just a bit, “my husband, he’s not entirely thrilled about the idea of having a teenage step-son he never heard about before.  He only ever wanted a daughter and is a tad pissed about the whole situation, but some of that is because he just isn’t used to the idea,” she hurried to say, then offered me a tense smile.  “So be on your best behavior, okay?”

I felt a tiny bit of me crack at her words.  So here was someone else who didn’t want me around for no other reason than that I was a teenage boy.  It wasn’t fair, but it wasn’t like I could do much about it.

Best behavior, huh?  Kat snorted.  I’ll have you know Ezra gets the best grades out of anyone in town with half the effort and he already knows how to cook great and keep things clean and run a house, all while still a teenager!  You and your freaking stuck-up husband and bratty step-daughter can go screw yourselves, for all I care.

I was inclined to agree with her, but I also wanted to give them a chance.  They might be okay after all.  They could be nice, I tried to reason.  Maybe once he gets used to the idea he’ll like me better?  And, uh, maybe our step-sister will be cool?

Not as cool as me, she responded with a huff.

No one is as cool as you.  I meant every word of that.  Kat was my lifeline, the only reason I felt like I could survive sometimes.  No one would ever measure up to her.

All right, I’ll give them a chance, she grudgingly allowed.  But they’d all better be nice to you or I’m going to have words with them.  Maybe melt their cars or something.  I dunno.

At least I knew Kat had my back.  Even if I was diving into a new situation with people who sounded prejudiced against me, at least Kat was with me.

I couldn’t go fully insane with her at my side.

~~~~~

“Ezra!  The dishes from breakfast are still in the sink!”  Jolene, my step-sister, appeared in my doorway, her perfect curls framing her perfectly pouty face.  “I’m having my friends over!  Everything needs to be spotless!”

I set aside my books and got up.  “I’ll take care of it,” I reassured her, immediately heading to the kitchen.

As I washed the dishes, Kat grumbled in my head.

She is a spoiled brat – totally called that, by the way.  And they’re taking advantage of you, you know.  Just because you know how to cook and clean, now they want you to do it instead of bothering hiring a maid.  A maid!  Can you believe it?  These people are crazy.

It’s my choice, I reasoned.  Phil told me that since he’s forced to have me live in his house, I’d better be on my best behavior, be useful, and not shame the family.  Helping with the chores seems like a way to prove that I’m not the troublesome teenage boy he expects me to be.  Besides, I really don’t mind.  I returned the dishes to the cabinets and began wiping down the counters, making sure everything would be perfect for Jolene’s friends.  I like cooking and cleaning.  It’s straightforward and you can see immediate results.  I honestly did.  I didn’t entirely like the way Jolene had immediately resorted to treating me like a maid and demanding food whenever she wanted or that I cleaned up after her, but I didn’t complain because I was trying to make a point.  I was trying to prove that I wasn’t going to be the problem Phil expected me to be.

They’re taking advantage of you, Kat insisted.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like Phil, he’s a stuck-up jerk.  He only wanted his little princess and clearly is pissed off he’s having to deal with Mom’s kid from a long-ago ex, though now he seems to be glad enough for the free help around the house.  I don’t like Jolene, she’s a spoiled brat and likes to pretend that just because she’s a year older than us, she knows everything.  I’d bet you any amount of money that she’s one of the popular girls at school and is going to try to bully you.  Or at least laugh when other people do.  And I don’t like Mom.  She’s too starry-eyed for Phil to ever stand up for you, even though you’re her own kid.  She’s too focused on making him happy and being the perfect wife and stepmother.  Makes me want to gag, to be honest.  I don’t care much for how she ignores you whenever Phil or Jolene are in the room and make them her priority.

I stepped back to survey the kitchen, satisfied with how sparkling clean it was.  Perfect.  Seriously, it was perfect, looking almost brand-new.  They couldn’t possibly find fault with that.

Mom doesn’t know me, I argued as I started looking around to make sure everything else was cleaned up before Jolene’s friends arrived.  I’m from a relationship that turned out to be with a Hunter, of all things, and then she hasn’t seen me since I was born, practically.  She’s spent years being Jolene’s mom and Phil’s wife and that’s her dream, I guess.  You saw how happy she was when talking about it, right?

Oh yeah.  Kat’s tone was sarcastic.  The whole “I’m a PTA mother and a member of the country club and all the things I ever dreamed of.  It’s a perfect life, really.”  And then that warning look, which she was too wimpy to say – that she doesn’t want you to ‘ruin’ it for her.  Because naturally a kid forced to live with perfect strangers like this, after losing the only parent he knew, must be planning to destroy her picture-perfect life.

I got out the mop, deciding to run over the hallway once just in case.  It looked pretty good, to be honest, but there were a couple of smudges, so why not?

I don’t want to ruin it for her, and I guess it’s normal for her to be worried, right?  These people are her family, I’m not really, not beyond blood.

Kat seemed annoyed with this answer.  Blood should count.