Aloe had never gotten that drunk before. So when cold sobriety hits him, it hits him like a truck.

The first thing he registers is that his head hurts. Incredibly so. 

It makes it difficult for him to part ways with his pillow, but when he sees his dogs are nowhere to be found in his bedroom, his anxieties outweigh the pounding headache.

But when he sits up, it feels as if the entire world spins around him. He covers his eyes with his hands and groans, hoping that somehow, the darkness can ease this dizziness.

From outside, he hears the pitter-patter of paws running around the room, followed by footsteps and the clanging of some plates and utensils. It takes a while for Aloe to figure out who that is and why they’re here, but when his mind finally catches up, his headache only gets worse.

I screwed up.

I really, really screwed up.

The events of last night come crashing into his mind like a tidal wave. And while he feels absolutely mortified at how he behaved towards Sage and that kind stranger, there is something worse that concerns him.

“I love you?” he mumbles to himself.

Fucking hell. 

Could Aloe even cover up something like that? 

Maybe he could. A man saying something like that to another man would definitely raise a brow, but Aloe could probably chalk it up to his drunk self playing a prank on his friend.

But the problem is that Aloe isn’t sure he could handle that.

His emotions have risen and broken through the dam he’d spent years building. If only he’d known just how fragile his resolve is, then he would have never accepted that offer to drink with Sage. 

He knows that when he comes face to face with Basil, his mind will be too gripped with anxiety and panic to keep up such a ruse.

The question of “What now?” runs over and over through his head, but despite his begging, not a single solution presents itself.

He tries all sorts of things to keep him from spiraling—deep inhales, biting his lips, even hitting his head to get something good out of it. But nothing works. His mind continues to race, and more irrational thoughts spill into the forefront of his mind. 

Suddenly, a dreaded noise resounds from the door.

The creak seems slow and hesitant, and Aloe just wishes that Basil stays out there. But when brown eyes meet clear blue ones, it’s almost as if the entire world freezes over.

It’s silent. 

Aloe doesn’t know for how long, but his perception of time stretches to an impossible length. In that brief moment of heavy quiet, Aloe is forced to endure all manners of emotions.

The first one to break it is neither of them, but three dogs rushing inside and crowding around Aloe. They bark at him, as if scolding him for what he’d done the night prior, and honestly, he deserves that.

“They were pretty worried,” Basil says, scratching the back of his neck. “Me, too. I was pretty worried.”

Neither of them seem interested in approaching the other, just staying still at opposite ends of the room.

Aloe doesn’t dare look at him. And because he’s a coward, he uses the pretense of comforting his dogs to keep his attention away from Basil. 

“Um, well, I bought you some light breakfast out there…”Basil’s words begin to trail off near the end.

Oh no. 

He knows.

This is the same man that comes at life with full force. He’s not someone you could call shy, so to see him hesitate—and towards Aloe, of all people—can only mean one thing.

Basil’s footsteps move forward, but stop when Aloe flinches. 

“Hey, I just, well, I just kind of want to talk.”

Aloe tries to rein in his panicked tone and expression, but he can physically feel himself losing the fight for control. “Wh…what about?”

“Well,” Basil pauses, seemingly trying to consider his next words. “Last night, you, uh, you said something kind of…unexpected.”

Unexpected isn’t the word. Aloe knows fully well what Basil meant to say.

Strange. Odd. Weird.

Because there is nothing normal about him liking Basil, another man. And because of Aloe’s careless mistake, he’d outed himself as some sort of deviant. 

He places a hand on his forehead, a meager attempt to shield himself from Basil’s piercing gaze, but his mind is no better at comforting him. All he sees are visions of all the things he’d built up crumbling.

“I’m sorry, but could you just forget what I did last night?” Aloe says through gritted teeth.

“But I can’t really…I don’t know. I want to clear things between us, and well, it’s not fair to you—”

“Let’s just drop it, please,” Aloe yells out, his voice cracking. “Just forget about it, okay? I didn't mean anything about it. I was just out of my mind back then.”

“Aloe, listen to me!”

He freezes when he hears Basil raise his voice. Not once had he heard Basil yell at someone like that. 

I really screwed up.

Tears threaten to spill, and Aloe has to grip his head to keep himself from just breaking down this very moment. He’d already dug himself a hole. He doesn’t need to humiliate himself any further than this.

When he hears Basil come closer, his heart begins to sink. Each step makes his mind grow more and more frantic, and he braces himself for whatever it is that’s supposed to happen.

Be it getting hit, yelled at, or even worse—Aloe thinks he deserves it.

But nothing of the sort comes. 

Instead, he is treated to a gentle touch on his shoulder, and when he glances down, he sees Basil crouched in front of him. His expression is filled with worry, but it still holds a great deal of tenderness that melts Aloe’s heart. 

“I’m not mad.”

“I’m sorry,” with those words comes a flood of tears pouring down his cheeks. “I shouldn’t feel this way, but I—hic—I don’t know what to do.”

Basil keeps his gaze firm on Aloe. “That’s not…It’s not something you should be apologizing for.”

Truly, Aloe couldn’t tell if this is any worse than a punch to the gut. He knows what’s coming, but the emotional blow will probably hurt more than any sort of physical violence could inflict on him.

“But I don’t think I can return your feelings.”

If those words had been any less gentle or lacking in warmth, it would have been so, so much easier for Aloe to rid himself of these feelings.