“Shiloh. I’ll be here as long as you want me to be, babe,” Kai stared into my eyes, concern clear on his face, “why… why are you asking this now?”

“It’s… I went 5 years with Will. Never touching each other, never even seeing his… ya know, and suddenly, less than 10 minutes with you and I… I’m scared, Kai.”

“Oh… I didn’t think about how fast it would be for you. You gave me consent and… baby why are you scared?”

“I… are you going to leave me when we finally… if we… um…” I hung my head, praying he understood what I was trying to ask.

“Shiloh… no baby. Never. We could never be intimate and I would still want to be with you. We have built this incredible bond over the last few months and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. I adore you. I adore being with you. Even before we made it official, I told you. I considered you my boyfriend. Or at least my partner. I turned down dates, deleted all dating apps, and blocked numbers of people from the past. I will do anything you need from me to show you that I want this. That I want to build a life with you. Intimacy isn’t important to me. What we did just now is the most I’ve done with another person in years. You are the person I’ve been waiting for Shiloh. I knew if I was patient, if I just waited, I’d find you. Instead, you found me,” he cupped my cheek, forcing me to look at him, “you saved me. Not from what I did, but just by supporting me, caring for me. You brought me back to myself. If you had asked me a few months ago to be with you, I would have said no. Not because I wasn’t interested in you, I was the minute you walked into the cafe, but because I knew I would hurt you. I would have taken you to bed, done what I could for sex. But… but you broke through all of my walls. Every little piece of me I built up so that no one would get close. You took them down piece by piece until I was laid bare in front of you. And you know what you told me? You told me you see me. For who I am. Not for who I want people to think I am. You brought the old me back to the forefront. Helped me see that it’s okay to be who I am. Silly, loud, funny, gentle, ridiculous, Kai. I wouldn’t have that without you. I don’t want to be with you just to get into your pants. I simply want to be your boyfriend. To be the person you’re closest with. I mean we already are, we know everything about each other. I promise I’m not using you. Let me keep showing you that I want this, Shiloh. Don’t give up because you’re scared of what we have. I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The panic I had felt lessened as Kai continued and I took a deep breath before touching his necklace and kissing him softly, “I believe you,” I whispered against his lips, “I got scared that if I don’t give you physically what you need, I’m going to lose you to someone who will. But… I also know you care for me too much to do anything that would cause me to leave. You’re stuck with me.”

“There is no one I would rather be stuck with,” he laughed, wiping a tear from my cheek, “ah baby you keep crying.”

“I know,” I laughed as well, wiping a few more tears away, “I’m happy but coming down from my panic attack. That’s all.”

“I’m sorry you got so scared,” he kissed me deeply, his hand twisting into my hair, “but I promise that you’re it for me, Shi. Just you.”

“I have a twin… you could just.”

“Stop it,” he laughed, pulling me until I straddled his waist, “you may look the same but you’re entirely different people. I haven’t even met Isaac and know that I could tell the difference without looking. There is no one like my Shiloh. I know my boyfriend. I can sense when you’re near.”

“Say it again.”

“Which part?”

“You know which part, you shit.”

“My Shiloh,” he whispered softly, his emerald eyes glittering in the sunlight and I giggled, kissing him again before my phone started to ring from the tent and we both turned to look at it.

Scrambling off of him, I ran over and saw that it was Juniper calling.

“Juni. We’ve been gone like 3 hours,” I laughed.

“We need you to come back and we need you to come back now,” Connor panicked.

“Connor? Why do you have Juniper’s phone?” I looked over at Kai before putting the call on speaker.

“She had a seizure. We’re in the ambulance now.”

“What do you…”

“How long did it last this time?” Kai started gathering things in a hurry.

“About 2 minutes. I called an ambulance as soon as it started.”

“You did well. It’s okay. She’ll be fine, Connor. They’ll just want to keep her overnight and monitor her brain activity. It’s happened many times. I just sit with her until it passes and she tends to come out of it really confused. It’s rare she has the grand mal ones anymore. Normally, she simply slips out of focus, staring straight ahead, completely unable to react to stimulus. We’ll be there in an hour or so. It’s just part of her health, Connor. I swear.”

“Thank you, Kai. I’ll be here with her.”

“I know. I trust you with her more than anyone. Other than Shi of course.”

“I know. I love you, Kai.”

“Oh,” Kai smiled, “I love you too, little brother.”

They hung up and Kai handed my phone back to me before he went back to packing things and I copied, looking over at him from time to time.

“Baby,” I whispered, “why aren’t you scared?”

“Because Juniper has seizures once a month if not more. I’ve gotten used to handling them. That’s why she can’t live alone. It’s rare that she has ones that take her to the hospital though. Connor could easily have simply sat and waited for her to come out of it. He did fine but he panicked. It’ll be okay. They’ll just change the medications. They think it’s linked to why she can’t walk, Shi. Connor knows this, I know this, but you don’t,” he carried what he could to the car before coming back to me and cradling my face, “Juniper has a shortened life span. They gave her until she’s 25, maybe 30. So she lives her life to the fullest, knowing that she won’t get to spend all of it with Connor. He’s fully committed to spending the rest of what she has left at her side. I’m sorry we never told you. It’s not a secret, but she didn’t want you to treat her differently. She wanted you to know who she is as a person before I told you. Please, please don’t treat her like she’s fragile now that you know. That’s the entire reason we haven’t moved. Why I haven’t left yet. I know… I know I said we’d go to Idaho and how overwhelmed I am here and all of that. But can I ask you to be patient? I don’t want to suddenly change everything on Juni. I want to be here with her.”

My eyes welled with tears and I quickly wiped them away, “we will stay here until… until…”

“Shh,” he kissed me softly before pressing his forehead to mine, “I know what you’re trying to say, honey. I know. Thank you.”

“I won’t treat her differently. It hurts to know I have to lose someone I consider a sister earlier than… than I thought but we just… we just push forward and make sure everything she wants happens right?”

“Do you want to know what she wants?” he smiled.

“Of course.”

“To marry Connor. To see me happy and cared for. She has no lofty goals or dreams. The only reason she goes to college is to feel normal. No one knows but us 3. She was very open about it when she started dating Connor. He knew what he was signing up for but he loves her so much he accepts it. So we have to. Because it’s what she wants. Okay?”

“Okay,” nodding, I hugged him tightly, “is losing her part of what pushes you into those depressive episodes?”

“Yes,” he whispered, “I thought when I lost her I’d be totally alone. I’d have Connor, we agreed to stay brothers no matter what happens, but… but I was scared. But I know I won’t be now. Because there is someone else who loves Juniper. You.”

“Of course. She’s my little sister too. I love her deeply. She’s taken such good care of me since we met.”

“You’re the one who has been taking care of us, Shiloh. You let Juni be an adult, let her live her life without me fussing over her. You validate who Connor is, never questioning his choices, just accepting him for who he is. You brought me back to the world of the living, no longer a shadow of myself. Your heart is beautiful, pure, and it spread through all of us until your light brought us back to life. You’re the best thing that ever happened to any of us.”

“Kai,” I smiled, “thank you. Now let’s get to Juni okay?”

“Alright,” he kissed me quickly and we finished packing our campsite, agreeing to come back at some point.

The drive to the hospital was nerve-wracking, Kai gently rubbing my thigh to keep me calm and when we arrived, we found Connor standing outside, staring blankly at the ground.

“Connor!” I called, rushing from the car.

“Shi,” he whispered and I crashed into him, wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug, “she’s okay. I just can’t go in the room. Only Kai can right now so I… I wanted to wait.”

“I’ll go up,” Kai nodded when he came close and hugged Connor as well before giving me a soft kiss and heading inside.

I pulled Connor to the nearest bench and wrapped an arm around him, holding him close to me.

“Shiloh, am I imagining things because I’m upset or did Kai kiss you?”

“He did,” I laughed softly, “we’re dating.”

“I thought you were this entire time?”

“Kai did too, I think. That’s what he told me. That he considered all of our little outings dates, that he had been telling people I was his boyfriend while he waited patiently for me to tell him I had feelings for him. I appreciate him so much. I’m glad he was able to return my feelings.”

“Well duh of course he told people that,” Connor rolled his eyes before wiping his nose, “Juni and I could see it. The way he looked at you. He always follows you around with his eyes. As if you’re a piece of his soul walking around. It’s sweet. He looks at you the same way Juniper looks at me. I guess that’s something about the Winters siblings. They love deeply. Truly. If my words on it mean anything, Kai won’t hurt you.”

“I believe you. Juniper will be okay. Kai told me everything.”

“Did he tell you… the part where we’re getting married soon? So I can be at her side when she… when she goes? It’s the only way I can be in the room. Not that I don’t want to marry her! I love her so much. But we… we want to get married so she can have my last name.”

“I don’t even know your last name now that I think about it. You’re cagey about sharing your past with me.”

“Oh! It’s Hale. Connor Knoxley Hale.”

“I’m so jealous! I love your middle name. It’s better than mine.”

“What’s yours, Mr. Hartley?” he teased, finally acting like the Connor I had grown to adore.

“Jasper.”

“Whoa! That’s so good with your first name!”

“I suppose. It’s better than Isaac’s,” I laughed, “his is Leonardo. It’s kind of clunky.”

“Nah it’s good but I hate your brother so,” he shrugged.

“Shi! Connor!” Kai called from the door to the hospital and we turned quickly, “she’s awake. You can come up now.”

We rushed over before I lost my step and fell.

“Ah son of a bitch,” groaning, I carefully got to my feet with the help of Connor.

“You’re bleeding,” Connor gasped.

“I’m always bleeding from somewhere,” I snorted and checked to see that I had torn my palm open, “it’s fine. I’ll clean it in the bathroom. Let’s just go to Juniper.”

We walked into the hospital and a nurse noticed my hand. She gave me ointment and a wrap and I took care of it as I followed Connor and Kai to Juniper’s room.

Juniper smiled, clearly exhausted when we walked in and Connor rushed over, sitting on the side of the bed.

“Hi baby,” he whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear, “how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” she sighed before yawning, “but I’m okay. What happened?”

“Just another seizure. It’s okay. I only called the ambulance because you refused to wake up after it happened.”

“Ah. Yeah I remember that,” she turned to smile at me, “hey Shi.”

“Hi babe,” I smiled, forcing down the urge to cry as I stared at Juniper’s tiny frame in the hospital bed, her appearance more fragile than that feisty girl who had been teasing Kai a few hours ago, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“As good as I can be,” she waved me over and I sat on the other side of her, taking her hand, “do you know?”

“I do,” gently rubbing her knuckles with my thumb, I squeezed softly, “Kai told me before we came here.”

“Then there’s something I want to ask specifically of you.”

“Anything, Juni.”

“Take care of Kai for me? Love him. He’s stupid as hell, makes dumb choices, but he will care for you deeply if you let him.”

“I already am, Juni,” I wiped a tear from her cheek, “right before Connor called, I asked Kai to be my boyfriend and he agreed. He’s stuck with me now. So I promise to take care of him for as long as he’ll allow.”

“He better let you forever or I’m gonna haunt his ass,” she stared at Kai and he swallowed thickly.

“Juni… please don’t… talk like that,” Kai whispered.

“It’s getting closer every day, Kai. I’m getting weaker. I sleep constantly. I think they were a little off with giving me until 25. I don’t think I’ll make it that long. But I accept it. You have to as well okay? You’re banned from weeping over me. All of you are banned from crying over me when I’m gone. I swear to God if I find out you cried, I will reincarnate myself into one of your children and make your lives a living hell.”

“Juni,” I laughed softly, “you can’t expect us not to cry.”

“Fine. You can cry a little. You have my permission.”

“Kai?” Connor turned to him and Kai nodded, “can we talk alone for a minute?”

“Sure,” Kai wiped his eyes and walked out of the room with Connor, closing the door quietly behind them.

“What the hell? Why is he taking my boyfriend and leaving me with his?” Juniper huffed before yawning.

“I think I know why,” I smiled, “can I do your hair?”

“Sure,” she poked my nose and carefully sat up.

I slowly braided her hair down her back before kissing the back of her head, a tear rolling down my cheek, “Juni,” I choked out, “Juniper I swear that I won’t leave Kai alone okay? I will take care of him for you.”

“I don’t want you to take care of him, Shi. Just continue to love him on his bad days.”

“I don’t know if I love him yet, but I know that I will if we continue to be together. I swear.”

“When you have a child, no matter who it’s with, will you name them after me?”

“I can do that,” I sniffled quietly, still pressing my forehead to the back of her head, “I’ll make sure their middle name is Juniper.”

“Thank you, Shi. You’re the best big brother ever. I love you.”

“I love you too, Juni.”

I held her for a bit longer, choking back tears as she rubbed my hand, and Connor and Kai finally came back in, Kai wiping tears away as Connor wrung his hands, coming over to Juniper.

Moving away, I walked over to Kai and wrapped my arms around his waist, tears still quietly falling from me as I clutched his side.

“Juni?” Connor smiled, “I… I had this big elaborate plan but after… after what happened today, there’s something I need to ask, okay?”

“Sure,” she smiled.

Oh.

He’s proposing…

He doesn’t want to waste any more time.

Perfect.