Chapter 19

“Are there any Alphas that you’re interested in?” Phil asked me one day as we made our way to the little clearing by the lake we’d often frequented. Sure, we didn’t have to hide anymore, but that spot had been our spot for so long, it just felt comfortable to be there. Even after the heat incident.

I snorted at his question but didn’t answer. Of course, that only made the Alpha push. He and Pyka were definitely related. 

“I know most of the Alphas at school, I could set you up?” Phil offered. 

I stopped walking to stare at him dubiously. 

“Are you messing with me?” 

Phil frowned. “No?” 

My eyes narrowed. “Alphas don’t like me. I’m not attractive to them, nor do I want to be. I’m fine being alone.”

That was a lie, but it's one I let myself live by for these past few years. 

I jumped when Phil bursted out in laughter, holding his stomach, tears glittering in his eyes, only serving to annoy me further. 

I didn’t find anything particularly funny. 

When Phil’s laughter died, ending in small wheezes, he looked up at me, still grinning. It dropped from his face when he noticed my expression. 

“Wait, you’re serious?” 

I raised a brow at him. 

“Come on Cal, you don’t seriously believe that?” 

“I’ve been told that my entire life. What’s there not to believe?” I turned and kept walking. Phil hurried to catch up, though his long legs ate up the space much faster than mine ever could, allowing him to keep up with ease. Not that I tried to move too fast. I knew the consequences.

Annoying Alphas.

“Cal, that’s completely untrue. I know several Alphas who are interested in you. Not sure if you knew this, but you have a reputation.”

My stomach dropped. I tried not to let the words affect me, but it was hard. I knew what they probably said about me. How ugly they thought I was. How I was too tall, my voice not soft enough, only good when I was singing. I didn’t want to hear about it from Phil though. He was the only person I trusted to shield me from that harsh reality. 

“I’m fairly certain I know what kind of reputation I have. The Omega that no one wants. The Omega who can’t get an Alpha. The Omega whose own sister stole their Alpha. The ugly Omega.”

My voice was neutral, but inside, I was bitter. 

Phil placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me. We had reached the clearing, away from the rest of the community. It was just us. 

“That’s not true, Cal. I know what happened was shitty and I’m not invalidating your experience or feelings, but I don’t want you to think that’s how the community views you. It’s certainly not what I’ve heard.”

“It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, Phil. It’s what happened. What happens all the time. It is what I’m told when Alphas force me to submit. When they taunt me. When they throw me around. When they intimidate me. It’s what all the Omegas whisper when I walk by. It’s what my own sisters tell everyone. I have been through so many Mating meetings and not one has been successful. And they’ve all told me it was because I was lacking in some way. I’m not like Drew Lyall the Untouchable Omega who is unbetrothed by choice–though not anymore. I’m unbetrothed because no one wants me.”

I knew I had gained some popularity as I grew up, but it was never enough. Besides, the damage had already been done. I couldn’t trust another Alpha. Not like that. 

Phil sighed. 

“First of all, the difference between you and Drew is that you are unapproachable, Drew is just oblivious. I’ve heard other Alphas talk about you a lot and they’ve all come to the conclusion that you’re not interested. That you prefer to be alone,” he said. 

“What Omega wants to be alone?” 

Phil gave me a level look. “Is that not what you’ve wanted all along? Is that not why you sit here, away from all your friends and the community day after day, looking on, but keeping your distance? You’re alone because it’s safe for you.”

I looked away, not wanting him to see the truth in my eyes. I didn’t want him to know that he had read me so completely. 

This push and pull of wanting to be safe, but not wanting an Alpha had been plaguing me for so many years, I’d just adapted. I let the waves take me, toss me around, and I felt nothing for it. At least, I’d deluded myself into believing I felt nothing. 

Until Brynn. 

“So? Is there anyone you’re interested in?” 

So pushy.

“The one I want belongs to someone else,” I finally admitted, pulling up grass angrily. The green stained my fingers, but it felt good on my skin. The smell was calming. I wanted to shift and roll around in it. 

“Who?” Phil asked. 

“Does it matter?” 

“If it’s who I think it is, then yes,” he said softly. 

“Brynn.”

Phil was sharp, he already knew. It was probably what prompted this conversation in the first place. Maybe it was his way of addressing the issue and telling me to move on. Encouraging me to look elsewhere. 

But I didn’t want to look elsewhere. No one made me feel the way she did. 

And I didn’t even know her. 

“So you heard, huh?” 

I nodded, not trusting my voice. 

“She got rejected, you know.”

I frowned. I hadn’t heard that bit. Of course, Pyka would leave that little detail out. 

“What?” 

“Yeah. Though rejected is a bit too strong of a word. It’s like he didn’t even realize what she had asked him. Oblivious, remember? I don’t know why she expected anything different, every Alpha who has tried gets the same reaction from him.”

Relief like no other, flooded through me, forcing the air out of me in a woosh. 

“I’m not going to lie, Brynn’s been hung up on Drew for a while. I want to be honest about that. But you…I think you’d be good for her. I think you’d be good for each other,” Phil added quietly. 

“Why do you say that?”

“Because Drew is someone Brynn feels like she needs to protect. Protection can’t be the only thing that bonds Wolves together. What she needs is someone who will challenge her,” Phil smiled at me. “And I can’t think of anyone more suited than you. Besides, she’s been asking about you.”

I flushed. “Me? She hasn’t even talked to me since the incident.”

In fact, I hadn’t even seen her. Though that might be due to me avoiding everyone. Still, if Phil could find me, so could she. 

“Remember what I said about you being unapproachable?” Phil teased. “Jokes aside, she thinks you’re upset with her. She said you were angry at her for what happened. Something about her triggering your heat?”

Phil’s gaze was piercing. He was posing this information as questions, but he knew the answers. He knew far more than he was letting on and reading my reactions to it. For confirmation. 

Guilt tried to creep its way inside my mind, but I pushed it out. I wouldn’t feel guilty for this. If it weren’t for these damn instincts and hormones, I wouldn’t want her. I wouldn’t be interested in her. 

Right?

“All I’m saying is to take a chance. Maybe this is what you’ve been waiting for the whole time. Maybe this is your happy ending.”

Maybe…I’d take the chance.