The stares were back.
The whispering, the pointing, the attention…and not the good kind.
Everyone had made up their own stories as to what happened, spreading vicious rumors about how I was trying to steal Nina’s Alpha because I couldn’t get one on my own. That I planned it, luring Phil and Brynn alone so I could trick them both into a mating.
They called me an inproba, even though that was impossible. I couldn’t possibly have a litter outside of a mating if I’ve never actually had sex.
But rumors are rumors and it didn’t matter what happened or what was even possible. It only mattered which story would get the most attention.
I heard it all through the wall of my room as Jenny gossiped with Marilyn and Lana.
Curling up in my bed seemed like the best solution for it all. After three days of attention, I couldn’t stand it and started staying home. I was ready to take whatever punishment Mother would deem fit for missing it, but instead, she just asked if I was okay and left me alone.
The experience was awkward and uncomfortable, but I could deal with it if it meant I didn’t have to leave the comfort of my room, or the warmth of my bed.
At least, that’s what I hoped. Unfortunately, things rarely went as planned for me.
There was a knock on the door which I promptly ignored, likely one of my sisters. Mother wouldn’t have knocked.
They knocked again.
And again.
Still, I refused to answer, hoping they’d go away. Not surprisingly, the door opened. Slow and gentle as if not to wake me.
The scent hit me first.
Alpha.
It wasn’t Mother. I could tell almost immediately. I’m not sure how or why, perhaps the recent heat made my senses that much more sensitive, but a scent that once brought me comfort now only woke the anxiety within me.
“Cal?”
I blinked at the intruder, not bothering to move from my cocoon of blankets, peering at them through the tiny hole I allowed my face in order to breathe.
It likely didn’t smell all that great in here. Bathing hadn’t been a priority for me since the incident. Neither had eating.
The Alpha didn’t seem to care. Stepping over the mess on the floor to get to me, drowning me with their scent even more.
My gut tightened.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I told them.
Phil smiled at me warmly.
“What else was I supposed to do? You stopped coming to the house and the lake. I tried asking your sisters, but they didn’t seem to know how you were doing either. Just told me you were locked in your room.”
Of course they didn’t, they hadn’t bothered to check on me at all. Only gossip about me like everyone else.
I sighed, sitting up, not bothering to smooth my hair down, the long blonde locks a tangled mess on my head, keeping the blanket wrapped around my frame.
Phil swallowed up the room with his height. It looked a little funny, him being there in my space, not fitting, but also blending in seamlessly.
Maybe that was a testament to the comfort I felt around him. I relied on his kindness and our mutual lack of desire for each other. Phil was safe because I could trust him not to take advantage of his position as Alpha.
He was devoted wholeheartedly to Nina, and…that’s just the kind of person he was.
He took a seat on the small chair in the corner, the one Mama used to sit in when I was a pup, to read to me. I thought the sight would annoy me, I didn’t even like when Mother went near it, but for some reason, with Phil, it was okay.
“Pyka says you haven’t been to school.”
I stared at him blankly. Of course Pyka had run his mouth, it’s what Pyka does best. Amazing how he managed to maintain the reputation of kind and submissive when he was anything but.
“Are you planning on going back to school?” Phil asked, a hopeful lilt in his tone.
Though he couldn’t possibly see it from beneath the bundle of blankets, I shrugged. Why would I go back to that hell hole to be gawked at and harassed? Sure, there were no more Alphas in our classes or building, but Omegas could be just as vicious when they sunk their claws into a juicy rumor.
Especially when it allowed them to hate freely.
“I don’t feel like dealing with the harassment,” I mumbled.
“I know it’ll be rough, I can’t claim to understand, but Nina has been working to combat the rumors–”
I scoffed loudly. Nina was probably building on them, spreading them further. Her loyalty was to her Alpha, and I was a threat. Not romantically, but to his reputation. He was bound to have faced some backlash because of this incident. Her instincts wouldn’t allow her to let that go.
Phil frowned.
“Why do you still want to be friends with me? After everything, I’m sure it’s been difficult for you too.” I asked, staring at him head on. It wasn’t a challenge per se, but it certainly wasn’t submission.
“Because I like being your friend. I like hanging out with you. Besides, none of this was your fault. How were you supposed to know you’d go into heat? It’s your first one, you can’t control that.”
My stomach quivered. Little did he know how much I knew. How much I suppressed. How she ruined everything.
“Nina doesn’t like it.”
Phil sighed, running his hand through his curls slowly, brown eyes looking upward as if trying to collect his thoughts.
“There is nothing inappropriate about our friendship and there never has been, so there is nothing wrong with our friendship. If Nina does not feel secure in the relationship, then it’s my fix that. It means that I have to try harder to show her that I love her. But Cal, that’s between Nina and me. Our issues in our relationship have nothing to do with you. It’d be easy to blame it on what happened, but that’s not the root of the problem and that’s a cowardly approach. Neither Nina nor I are cowards, so don’t worry about that.”
Phil seemed so earnest in that moment, enough that a part of me believed him. It alleviated some of the guilt that had weighted my shoulders. Just a little bit.
“Come back to school,” Phil pushed.
I shook my head, “Nina is not enough to quench the gossip. I really don’t feel like being harassed anymore, Phil. I’m tired.”
“The rumors have died down on their own for the most part. Like it always goes, another piece of gossip travels around and has most of their attention,” Phil added, but I didn’t like the look on his face. It was quick, but something apprehensive had flashed behind those eyes. Something I didn’t quite trust.
The room fell into silence, both of us lost in our thoughts. I couldn’t stay away from school or my friends forever and I really didn’t want to make Mother angry. But was I really strong enough to face it again? Face everyone?
Why couldn’t I just be left alone?
Being alone was safe. There was no judgment, no expectations, and no disappointment. I can’t say that I truly enjoyed being alone, but I enjoyed the safety it brought. Was I really willing to let that go?
What choice did I really have though?
“You haven’t asked.”
I looked up at Phil, but he wasn’t looking at me. His hands were intertwined with each other on his lap, fingers clenching and unclenching.
“Asked about what?”
Phil looked up then and I really wish he hadn’t.
“Don’t you want to know about Brynn?”
Meeting his gaze and feeling the wash of hollowness envelope me, I didn’t let anything slip. I couldn’t.
“No. I don’t want to know.”
I didn’t want to know anything at all.
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