The next day, Ha-neul is sitting in her father's class, her head down on her desk as he goes over music theory. Seul-ki notices and taps on her desk, asking her to sit up straight. Ha-neul sits up straight, her expression blank. Seul-ki noticed this morning that although the sun returned with its usual brightness, Ha-neul's smile did not. Neither did she give her customary hug to her mother. When they parted at the school gate, he noticed she didn't bother tucking her head in embarrassment at all the admiring stares she received, for her eyes seemed to stare a thousand miles ahead. He suddenly starts to suspect his greatest fear and cannot concentrate on his lesson plan. He stares at the clock on the wall above the chalkboard - the hands are painfully slow as he impatiently awaits the end of class.
Finally, the time comes to dismiss everyone for the day. "Alright, class is dismissed. Listen, everyone! Although I will be gone for a concert next week, please remember that you still need to submit your compositions to my substitute." He turns to Ha-neul. "Ha-neula, let's go home - now."
They walk together to the school gate and back up the hill to their home. Seul-ki walks with his hands behind his back. Ha-neul follows beside him, her hands on the straps of her violin case like a backpack. Seul-ki says, "Ha-neula, you did well today in the concert. The education minister looked pleasantly surprised."
"Yes," Ha-neul replies, her head bowed to the ground.
"I thought your playing was excellent, " Seul-ki adds. "You actually looked at the audience and smiled this time while you played - that's good."
"Yes," Ha-neul responds.
"Mm, but besides the concert, I haven't seen you smile at all today," Seul-ki asks. He turns to Ha-neul. "Are ... you okay? Is there something wrong?"
Ha-neul says nothing, her head still hanging. Seul-ki reaches over to her shoulder to stop her from walking forward, but Ha-neul retracts suddenly by instinct as she finally makes eye contact, her brown eyes full of despair. Seul-ki realizes what happened.
"Administrator Ji touched you?" Seul-ki asks.
Ha-neul hangs her head again and walks on. For some reason she feels embarrassed to be asked that, as if she was guilty for what happened to her. She just wants to be left alone right now, she thought to herself.
Seul-ki clenches his fists in anger. He catches up to Ha-neul again. "Ha-neula," Seul-ki pleads in a pitiful voice. "Did he ask you to meet him again?"
Ha-neul keeps walking up the hill in silent dejection, unwilling to answer. She feels like running away, but is too tired for dramatics. She had a migraine all morning, her head feeling quite heavy that she had to rest it on her desk. Even making eye contact feels tiresome. Hearing voices makes her want to disappear.
"When, tonight?" Seul-ki asks as she walks away. "Where? Ha-neula! Where?" he calls after her in desperation. "Ha-neula! It's me. Am I not your father anymore?"
Ha-neul finally stops, her father's voice reaching her like a spotlight in the darkness. She realizes that, for a brief moment, she had forgotten that her father was even there, the loving father who was always there for her but who momentarily faded away like a childhood memory. The thought terrifies her, so she turns around and answers in a soft voice, "Behind the cafeteria," her sterile cheeks now damp with tears as she looks at her father like a helpless child.
Seul-ki approaches carefully, almost fearfully, before reaching out his arms to her, unsure at first, until finally hugging her with all a parent can give. "It's okay," Seul-ki adds. "It's going to be okay, father is here," he says, as Ha-neul rests her head on her father's chest and cries. The uncertain loneliness she felt only moments ago melts away, her aversion to connecting with anyone now replaced with an overwhelming feeling of being home.
They finally reach the house. As they enter the living room, Seul-ki calls out for Da-som. "Han Da-som! Han Da-som!"
Da-som appears from the bedroom. "Oh, I just got home, what's wrong?" She then sees Ha-neul crying in Seul-ki's arms and walks over to take her. Seul-ki hands Ha-neul over to Da-som for the thousandth time just like when she was a baby.
Da-som immediately understands. Seul-ki then turns and runs out the front door down the steps of the porch. Da-som calls after him, "Where are you going?" He doesn't respond, instead charging down the hill towards the school heading straight for the cafeteria overlooking the rocky valley. The sun was quickly retreating behind the horizon.
Ha-neul is a beautiful, kindhearted sixteen-year-old teenager living in North Korea with her rambunctious sister and her loving parents. Threatened by an ambitious school administrator, they are forced to flee the country and search for happiness elsewhere.
Once out of North Korea, they meet Yeong-su, a mysterious teenager whom Ha-neul is immediately attracted to. Together they look for a way to sneak into South Korea and a better life. Will they survive? Will freedom automatically bring happiness? Can you really escape from your past life, or will it catch up to you in the end? Ha-neul seeks to answer these questions as she starts her second life.
This novel has a more serious tone and is not too long, about 78k words, with a lot of life lessons poured into it and a redemptive ending. May it help those who feel discouraged.
NOTE: This is for mature audiences only and deals with mental health issues, please be aware of the warnings from Tapas before reading.
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