POV: Skylar

"You owe me an explanation."

I sigh and stare out the window. She's probably the last person I want to tell everything to, but I didn't want to bother Kenzie or Darleen. Plus, Lexi and I aren't that close. She was my last option. Besides, the others would have just pitied me and coddled me, and I am not in the mood for that.

I could use a good helping dose of the cold harsh truth.

And no one is better a dishing it out than Aphrodite.

"If I'm going to drive you all the way back to LA I want an explanation," She demands.

"Thank you for doing this, I didn't really know who else to call. My funds are pretty tight right now, I couldn't afford a flight." I say.

"Why didn't you just ask Jade?"

I feel my lips crease into a thin line.

"Oh, I see." She says smugly.

I sigh again.

"When did you two start fighting? You know I sensed something was up with you two. You hardly looked at her all night, always on your phone. And then she got plastered to try to hide her obvious distress at that fact. I'm surprised no one else picked up on it actually."

"It's been going on for a while," I say.

"How long?"

"Since she went to Canada for her show."

"That long?"

"Well, it was fine at first. Maybe the first couple of months. But... like always with Jade, things quickly got out of hand. Constant fighting, bickering, and accusing one another. She is really stressing me out. I broke it off with her a few months ago, just after Thanksgiving."

"Like broke up broke up, or like you guys' version of break up which is just you two switching off between fighting and fucking."

I sigh again.

"Got it." She says.

"Don't tell anyone, please." I finally turn to her.

"Why bring me into all this? I thought you hated me."

"I know you're going to judge me regardless, and I can't take judgment from anyone else. I don't want to be looked at like a sad little puppy. Or have people say told you so. I just... needed someone who would be real with me. Not pile on the bullshit." I say.

"Hmph, well I'm honored." She flicks her hair.

I roll my eyes.

"And for the record, I don't hate you," I say.

"Sure," it's her turn to roll her eyes.

"You just annoy me," I say.

"Back at you."

"I'm annoying? How?" I challenge.

"You are such a pushover, too afraid to ever say what needs to be said. You just let things build and build and build until you get crushed under the weight. And you deflect and don't even get me started on how childish you are. I can go on all day."

"You are way more annoying than me."

"Deflecting," she sings.

"Whatever," I turn in my seat.

"Childish." She finishes.

I scoff and roll my eyes.

We drive in silence for a moment.

"Look, it's a long-ass drive, so you better get over yourself." She says.

I sigh and face forward.

"So, you and Jade are fighting. Did Jade cut you off? No money?"

"I cut myself off."

"Why?"

"I don't want to depend on her for everything."

"Why? Aren't you two engaged, isn't that sort of the whole point?"

"It's complicated."

"How?"

"Because!" my emotions get the best of me.

She turns to look at me as we stop at a light.

"Because," I say softer. "She... she doesn't love me." I finish.

"Bullshit," she says as the light turns green.

"She doesn't love me as much as she loves herself," I add.

She's silent for a moment, trying to formulate a response.

"She wants to be an actress and all that. And that's great, I'm happy for her. I really am, but... she never asked me what I wanted. She just assumed I would go along with her and move wherever she goes after I graduate. And the stupid thing is, I was. I was just going to do it, be her plaything, do whatever she said. God, I'm a fucking idiot." I cover my face with my hands.

"What changed? Why did you snap out of it?" she asks, genuinely curious.

"Me, her, everything's changed. Nothing feels the same as it did. It's like I woke up and realized I was no longer stuck in a fairy tale and reality came bearing down on me. I tried to go to the Olympics... but I messed it up. Jade was being moody and said she needed me, so instead of training, I went to see her. I came back, went to the tryouts, and made a complete fool out of myself by breaking my ankle in front of everyone. Pathetic." I shake my head.

She cringes.

"Of course, that basically put me out for the rest of the season. I got involved with this other girl, Vida. Got sucked into her drama. Jade started accusing me of cheating. Things just... spiraled. Before I knew it, I became fairly acquainted with rock bottom." I stare out the window as we pull onto the highway.

"Did you cheat?" she asks.

"No! Well... yes, but no."

"Hmm...."

"It's complicated." I sigh.

"We have time." She indicates to the open road.

"Vida kissed me and told me she had feelings for me. But of course, I didn't for her. At least not like that. I just wanted to help her, as a friend. I tried to get her away from her abusive ex. Took self-defense and fighting classes to help get my mind clear and get myself back into shape. I needed something to hold me over while I was out of track. When I told Vida I didn't like her like that, she went back to her ex. It was a mess, I had to fight for her. The harder I fought, the more in love she fell with me. The more things got confusing between us. And Jade... Jade wasn't there, and I was so lonely and lost, I was weak." I cover my face to hide my shame and tears.

"So, you slept with her," she says plainly.

"No, it never got that far, but we did kiss some more and almost got that far. Until I snapped to my senses and pulled away. I had to distance myself from Vida. She confuses me. So, I cut myself off from her too. Been pretty much completely alone ever since, other than the times Jade decides to grace me with her presence."

"Did you tell Jade, about the slip?" she asks.

"I tried to," I say.

She raises a skeptical brow.

"I did, but... everything just came out so wrong. I just lost my temper and started yelling at her for never being here. I ended up blaming it all on her. She was so desperate to get me to accept her feelings that she just forgave me right away without really letting my words sink in. It's like she blocked it from her mind or even forgot I ever said it. I just don't know what to do." I admit.

"Have you tried counseling?"

"No! Which is another thing! Because of Jade's stupid publicity manager, we have to pretend we are still together in public. Apparently, me breaking up with Jade will ruin her image, so Jade has to break up with me. Which of course if you know Jade, will never happen. So I'm stuck in this stupid limbo. And I can't go get help because if people see me going to get counseling they might start to talk."

"Emm," she hums in understanding.

"I don't know what to do," I say helplessly.

"It certainly is very complicated." She says.

"Should I just accept my fate? Just do what Jade wants? I'll never be an Olympian anyway. I blew it. I'm a failure." I look down.

"Another thing I hate about you. Grow a damn backbone already. Put your foot down. Don't let Jade walk all over you. You have wants and needs too, set the bar and if she doesn't meet it then you need to move on."

"Big talk coming from you." The words slip out of my mouth before I can think better of it.

There is a long stretch of silence.

"Sorry," I finally say.

She shakes her head at me, "Grow a backbone, don't apologize. You're right. I'm all talk. Call me out on it. Don't be a little bitch."

I make a face at her language.

"Oh, like you've never cussed." She says.

"I'm not a little bitch," I grumble.

"Are too, always have been since the day I met you."

"If I'm a little bitch then you're a big bitch. Making Darleen cheat on me, not cool."

"Water under the bridge and I didn't make Darleen do anything."

"Bullshit! You filled her head with doubt and lies. Now here you are again trying to sabotage another one of her relationships."

"I am not!"

"Then why did you come here from Cambridge?" I challenge.

"The music program—"

"Liar liar pants on fire," I call her out.

"Childish!" she hisses.

"Deflecting!" I counter.

"I, tsk, I'm..." she stutters trying to find a good excuse.

"Admit it, admit you still haven't moved on from Darleen!" I say.

"Fine! I admit it!" she shouts.

"Ha! I knew it."

"Shut up!"

"Want to talk about me not moving on, look at you. Darleen can't make it any more obvious, she's not into you." I say harshly.

"You don't know anything!"

"I know that Mackenzie is my friend, a good friend, and if you hurt her by doing the same bullshit you did to me, I don't even know what I'll do."

"You won't do anything because you have no backbone."

"Maybe I'll tell Darleen your plan."

"I don't even have a plan!"

"So what? You just came here hoping Darleen would see you and magically fall back in love with you?"

She clenches the steering wheel.

"Take it from me, fairytales aren't real."

"Shut up! I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Oh, so you can talk about me but not you? Hypocrite."

"I said shut up!" she speeds up.

"You need to move on and leave Darleen alone. All you're doing is hurting her. If you really loved her, you'd understand that."

"Oh, like I wouldn't if could. I tried!"

"Bullshit! You haven't let yourself move on; you haven't given it a real serious try."

"Says the girl who pushed away someone who could make her happy because she was too afraid to lose Jade."

"That's different."

"Is it?"

"It is!"

"So if Jade were to hook up with someone, tomorrow, you'd be completely okay with it? You'd just accept she moved on from you and leave her alone?"

I sigh and turn away from her.

"Thought so," She says in triumph.

"What is it about Darleen to you? Why can't you move on?" I ask.

"Darleen to me is what Jade is to you. I love her, and I can't forget about her. No matter how hard I try. Every person I've been with, I compare them to her. She was so good to me." she says in deep thought.

"You mean before she cheated on you with Lexi," I point out.

I see her stiffen.

She probably thought I didn't know about that.

But Darleen told me about it all the way back when it happened. It made me super uncomfortable to know that info, but Darleen was my friend. She said I was the first person she thought of when she wanted someone to talk to back then. I told her to just be honest, but she didn't take my advice and let her and Aphrodite's relationship implode. Then she got with Lexi right after, so I figured that was what she wanted. It wasn't my place to say anything, plus it was awkward enough without me pointing out Darleen's trend of cheating.

She's silent for a moment, lost in thought.

"Karma by the way. Not saying you deserved that, but you had to have known it was a possibility considering how you and Darleen got back together in the first place."

"I'm sorry." She says after a beat.

I turn to her.

"I never apologized to you for what I did, and I can tell you still hold some animosity about it. So, I'm sorry. You're right, what I did was fucked up. I just got so blinded by the need to get Darleen back that I just bulldozed past you without thinking about how it would affect you. You're right, it was Karma."

I frown.

"No, I'm sorry. I was just trying to get under your skin to avoid talking about my problems. Truth is, I'm glad you did it. You pushed me to finally confront my feelings for Jade. If it weren't for you, I might have let Jade slip right through my fingers. Darleen and I were never meant to be. It would have ended one way or another. You saved me the headache of having to deal with it down the line. Did it suck at the time, hell yes, was I heartbroken, obviously. But that was then. I don't have any feelings for Darleen now. She's my friend, but that's all she'll ever be to me. Aphrodite, I think you're just scared to let yourself feel the heartbreak. And that's okay."

"Perhaps you're right." She says in defeat.

"And you're right, if it were me and Jade, I wouldn't be able to let it go for a long time. But, eventually, I would do what's best for Jade. Because I love her, and if she's happier with someone else, then I'd have to accept that. Because when you love someone, their happiness is all that really matters. I guess that's why I'm such a pushover, all I want is for the people I love to be happy." I sigh.

"What about your happiness?" she asks.

"Still working on that part. As the saying goes, you can't please everyone. If the people I love are happy, then I'll gladly let myself suffer in silence for them. I guess you could say that's what got me into my current situation to begin with."

"You and Jade are going to figure it out." She assures me.

"Sometimes I wonder if I even want us to figure it out. Feels like I'm going in circles and chasing my tail with Jade. It's always the same argument, the same issues, same outcome. Jade gets so wrapped up in herself that sometimes it feels like she forgets I even exist. I'm starting to realize that's just how she is, and it probably won't ever change."

"People can surprise you."

For a long while, we let the conversation rest there, just listening to music and driving in silence. After we stop to refill on gas and stretch our legs the conversation picks back up, but it's much lighter and more comfortable. Nothing heavy like what we talked about before. Just the two of us catching up.

I end up falling asleep for the last hour of the drive.