Ray - Present Day

I leaned on the side of a wall in an alleyway, taking out a cigarette to light. Plucking it in my mouth, I folded my arms and sat in the dim light, just dark enough to hide me away from prying eyes. Tokyo University of the Arts was just a few feet away, but my feet were sinking in the shame of the past: making it feel like I was miles away from my grasp.

I had come here for over a year now; whenever, I had time to get away, hoping I'd catch a glimpse of him. But when my cigarette ran dry, I willed myself away because I honestly wouldn't know what to do if I saw him. How do I apologize for hurting the person I love? How do I tell him I did what I did to protect him? What reason does he have to bury his head in my chest and let me rub my hand up the nape of his neck, feeling the prickly residue of his under shave. 

I inhaled deeply, glancing down at the white gold wedding band on my finger. 

I remember the night before I turned my back on him. Niko got drunk off of my grandfather’s Sake. I recall being mad because keeping up with the old man just to impress him wasn't on the table, but once Niko had his mind set on something, he went all out. I knew he did that to gain my families acceptance, but in the end, it didn't matter. My path was set when I turned 13...and no matter how much I loved him, I knew that our paths were not meant to align.

When I put him in bed, I couldn't help put comb back his hair and stare into his reddened face. I never told him that just being around him made me crazy for his embrace. Every aspect of his being made me wish he and I could live out our days together, just like he wanted. Yet, my soul ran cold when I took off his jacket, to make him more comfortable, and saw a small box fall in front of me. I had half hoped that when I opened it, it wasn't what I feared, but when I saw two rings inside...I felt like I couldn't breathe. But that didn't stop me from taking the larger of the pair out, and put it on my ring finger. 

It was a perfect fit.

My eyes emitted an emerald hue at that time. Looking at Niko sleeping peacefully, it only hurt more to know that what he wanted so deeply was about to slip through his fingers. It sickened me to know that if I said yes to him...that if I agreed to give my all to him, that it would be his undoing.

I swore to protect him and in order to do that—

"Ha," a voice slithered through my ear, "Niko was right."

My brother's footsteps echoed behind me, but his presence did not divert my gaze.

"You two are imprinted on one another."

I exhaled smoke, bringing the cigarette away from my lips. "Why are you still allowing him to work for you?"

Yahiko turned towards me, placing his back against the opposite wall. His hands were deep in his pockets, and his smirk mimicked the devil.

"It's good business, Ray. I use what I can until I can't."

I felt my grip on my cigarette burst it in half. Yahiko's eyes snaked to its remnants. My anger was getting the best of me.

"Testy as usual...if you're so worried about him, tell him yourself."

He knew very well I couldn't.

I started to turn away, my reason for being here became less meaningful.

"He still loves you, even after all this time...all this heartbreak."

I stopped in my tracks. Why? After everything I did...how could he...

The more I ran those words through my mind, the more I felt my emotions cloud my eyes. 

"And by the looks of it, you love him too."

I gritted my teeth, not wanting Yahiko to get the better of me. He was aware that things had changed for me since I got married. It was all for the family. What the family wanted was what they got, no questions asked. Yet...I was becoming increasingly aware that what I wanted...what I needed was...

"No," I lied, "Niko's better off without me."

That's what I had to say...but...

"Niko, wait!"

Niko?

My heart stopped, as my body turned...my eyes wide with anticipation...