Benjamin

I wasn't born for this.

My name is Benjamin Livingstone. I am almost 18 years old and currently attend high school as a senior. I live in a small town in the South with my parents and younger sister.

But it wasn't always like this.

A couple years ago, my older brother Drew went on a hunting trip with some of his friends. It was a normal day occurrence since we're werewolves and we like to go on runs in our wolf forms.

My brother trained with our pack warriors since he was 12. He knew how to defend himself well and so did his friends.

On this fateful day, they ran in with a bunch of rogues - werewolves without a pack, wild bunch with no respect for other lives, ranks or any sort of code.

They spend most of their time in wolf form, which eventually leads them to go feral, that is when the wolf takes over your consciousness and you lose any contact with your humanity.

Apparently, on that day, my brother wanted to demonstrate his superior capabilities to his friends. He liked to brag, my brother.

As the eldest son of the Alpha of our pack, my brother had been groomed from birth for this position. He was do to succeed our father once he turned 18 and become the new Alpha.

His friends watched as my very skilled brother fought off two rogues that day. He was large and in charge, taking on two at the same time without much difficulty.

His friends were so busy watching and having fun that no one realized they weren't alone. Rogues have a way of disguising their scent since they spend so much time in the jungle.

The dirt masks it.

Suddenly, three other wolves showed up at their encounter. One of them went straight for my brother, who already had its paws full fighting two wolves.

With his two friends fighting as well, my brother couldn't fend off 3 at the same time. In fact, the surprise attack hit him right on his neck. Drew was killed, though not before claiming two lives.

His friends, fortunately, were able to kill the rest of the rogues. But this event caused havoc not only on my family but our entire pack.

My parents - especially my dad - were utterly destroyed by his death.

Drew was the golden child. Strong, confident, smart, skilled, charismatic. Girls fought for him. Boys wanted to be his friend.

He was everything for everyone. A natural born leader. The once and future Alpha.

But to me he was just my big brother.

The person who protected me from being bullied. The one who I used to turn to when dad got on my case. The first person of my family I came out to.

He just hugged me and told me he loved me just the same. For a macho Alpha type, he was pretty open minded. But that's my brother for you. The perfect successor for my dad's position.

Now, he's stuck with me.

Not the warrior type.

Not popular.

Not brave.

And definitely not straight.

There goes any chance of the pack having a female Luna like my mom. Though theoretically I could be paired with a girl.

As a werewolf, when we turn 18 our soulmate is revealed to us by the Moon Goddess, the deity supposedly responsible for the creation of our kind.

This soulmate can be a person of any gender, shape or form. They can even be human.

The only guideline we have is that they can't be more than two years older or younger than us. And of course, no blood relatives whatsoever.

With that being said, I don't believe she would "punish" me with a female mate. I refuse to even consider the possibility. The same way a heterosexual person wouldn't get a same sex individual for mate.

They are supposed to complete us, not be a backwards "cure" for homosexuality. You can't cure someone who isn't sick.

To quote a smart lady: I was born this way.

And I'm damn proud of it.

However, my dad has been trying to shape me into a decent replacement for my brother. Since I never had to concern myself with the stuff Drew had to contend with, my upbringing was quite uneventful till recently.

But for the past two years since his death, my dad had me on a strict regimen of training and physical fitness.

I wanted to say no to him, but he had already lost his first born son so I needed to collaborate with the process. I understand I am all he has now.

Werewolf packs are a dynasty. We're traditional and for the most part ancient. Like royalty, power is transmitted from father to son. It has been since the beginning of time.

It's what keeps the century old packs functioning smoothly. The transition of power is always done within the Alpha family.

Though I've never even considered myself to be Alpha material, I can't disappoint my father. I won't let our good name be disassociated from the Crescent Moon pack.

I refuse to let this happen. Or to put the pressure on my little sister, the only remaining heir after me.

Though we're one of the largest wolf packs of the south, we share our town with the humans. So even though we're about 15 thousand, the human population is over 31K.

It forces us to conceal our existence when we're in public spaces like school. But since we don't have to shift compulsory to the full moon, it's fine. We got good at this after centuries of hiding in plain sight.

As it always happens, a few humans know of our existence because they got mated to one of us. It's always shocking to find out when it does and I pray I don't have to go through this experience myself.

Especially now that I'm near my 18th birthday.

My alarm clock wakes me up on a Tuesday morning. I lazily yawn and stretch my arms before getting up.

After my morning rituals, I go downstairs for breakfast in the dining room. I live with my family at the pack house, a huge manor that houses the Alpha family, offices and a guest wing where some of our young adult pack members live.

There's a transition period after high school for people who don't go to college. They don't want to continue living with their parents but can't afford to live by themselves yet.

It's mostly young warriors, but the house is open to any pack member, as long as they don't have any children. No pups allowed except for the Alpha family.

I greet my parents and sister as I take my seat at the table. My sister Sasha is 14, a freshman in high school.

"Did you sleep well, son?" - Mom asked me while we served ourselves some delicious pancakes with a side of bacon.

"I’d sleep better if dad stops making me train with warriors until 6 p.m." - I snickered, feeling a bit sore. It's been two years, but the better I get, the harder they train me. And they have orders to be relentless. No quarrel.

"If it makes you feel any better, he wanted you to train till 7. I got him down to 6." - Mom informed me, causing a shocked shriek to pass my lips.

"It doesn't." - I said, frowning.

"You have to be better than any of our warriors. They need to respect your strength and follow your lead to any battle." - Dad spoke with a stern expression.

"I understand, dad. But I already have school full time." - I argued, though it's a lost battle.

"I understand, Ben. I wish I could be easier on you. But our enemies won't. And the pack needs a strong Alpha. You're the image of our leadership. If you falter, we falter." - Dad stated with conviction.

I sigh and continue eating. Like I said, it's a non-starter. But I persevere as I must.

"Don't worry, Ben. Soon enough the school will be over and you'll be free." - Sasha spoke in a chipper tone.

"It's October, Sasha. The school year has just begun." - I rolled my eyes.

"You should be glad I don't make you train on weekends." - Dad said in an annoyed tone.

"I need a reason to live, dad. For Goddess' sake!" - I'm baffled at the mere implication.

"You're so dramatic..." - Mom laughed at me.

"It's bad enough that you--"

"That I'm gay? Sorry I can be straight like Drew!" - I snapped at him.

"Stop putting words in my mouth! Stop trying to create this narrative that I think any less of you for being gay. I don't! This is not a worry of mine." - Dad yelled, seriously pissed off.

"Listen to me when I tell you, son. I love you just the way you are. You are loved. You are cherished. You are accepted. Period." - Dad looked deeply into my eyes as he said that, causing emotional tears to flow through my eyes.

"Thanks, dad." - I muttered, voice wrought with emotion.

"I was gonna say it's bad enough you only had two years to train. So we can't get complacent now." - He concluded. My mom kissed her mate with a proud smile. Sasha also smiled at him.

"Speaking of being gay, who do you want your mate to be? Is it Roger?" - She asked me, excitedly.

I gulped at the suggestion.😳

Roger is the captain of the varsity team of our school. He's a werewolf like me, but since our town has a majority of human population, all of us carry on with our lives, blending in.

Think of a hot, handsome, athletic and well connected boy (both his parents are city councilors). He's a dream, for sure. Alas...

"Sasha, he's the straightest boy of the entire school! There's at least two girls vying to be his mate. Not counting the human sluts who keep throwing themselves at him." - I replied, blushing a little.

"Stop calling girls sluts. It's not a good example to set for your sister and we don't need men shaming women for being sex positive." - Mom reprimanded me with a disapproving frown.

I lowered my head in shame.

"You're right, mom. I got carried away. I guess I'm a little jealous of them." - I confessed, blushing.

"I'm sure your mate will be adequate, son. Maybe it will be Evan." - Dad suggested. I snorted loudly.

Evan is one of the few omegas of our school. His parents are largely influential in our pack, so my dad dreams of him being my mate. Especially now that I'll become Alpha.

"Dad, stop fantasizing! We have zero interest in each other." - I rebuked, amused. He's a nice boy, but we're not even friends.

"That's what the mate bond is for, son. Do you think I had any interest in your mom just because she's the most beautiful girl in town?" - He snickered, causing my mom to giggle.

Family, am I right? What's not to love about them?

After breakfast, I drove to school with my sister in the car I "inherited" from Drew. He loved this car.

After I passed the front gate, I went on to meet my friends as Sasha went to hers.

"Good morning, bitch!" - Lex greeted me with the same bitchy attitude as always.

Alexander Houser III is my best friend. The Pinky to my Brain, the Ricky to my Morty and sometimes even the Tom to my Jerry.

He is absolutely my ride or die. I would make him my Beta in a blink of an eye, but sadly he's the least bit interested in the job.

For starters, his family comes from money. But let's just say he's a lover, not a fighter. Though it would be cool to have an omega as Beta of the pack. Progressive.

Also, my dad says we should honor my brother's wish and make his Beta, my own. Zachary Matsunaga, my brother's best friend, is already at college but he will return to be my Beta. I'm a little iffy on the subject, but since I can't have Lex anyway...

By the way, Zach is one of the survivors from my brother's mortal incident.

"Morning, Lex. You should stop calling your *whispers* Alpha that. It's not gonna look well in front of the rest of the pack." - I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Ask me again when you ascend, bitch!" - He shot back in a snarky tone. I rolled my eyes.

"So, what's the tea today?" - I asked since I'm not winning that argument.🙄

"Well, word on the street is Lisa B. slept with Roger before the game last week. And now that he won, she thinks she's his lucky charm. And girlfriend material." - He informed with a naughty grin.

"Lucky bitch!" - I mumbled, jealousy dripping from my voice.

"I know, right? Why doesn't he ask ME to be his lucky charm?" - Lex snickered.

"You'd have to battle me for it, bitch!" - I provoked him with a devious smile.

"Yeah, not now that you're bulked. Thanks, sis." - He looked me up and down as he said it.

I laughed at this. He's not wrong. I've spent the last two years training, not that I asked for it.

We walk towards the classroom, talking and wishful thinking we were Lisa B. But in class, Roger barely notices she exists. Awkward.

Later at P. E. we get paired up for exercises. At this point, anything thrown at me is a walk in the park compared to warrior training.

Lex looks out of breath before we even start, which is hilarious. But any time we spend together talking shit is a blessing.

When we enter the locker room, we continue behaving as we're alone, though we aren't. But I don't usually mind the humans so much.

"Can you imagine if we were on the team and had to shower with Roger?" - Lex teased. I blushed at the thought.

"Bitch, don't even! I would die from the embarrassment of me gawking at him. I can't!" - I replied, laughing at the thought.

"Hey, maybe we can try out next year..." - He winked at me with a naughty grin.

"You wouldn't last one round at the field, what are you talking about?" - I shot back, almost giggling.

"For him, I would try my best!" - He snickered. I laughed out loud.

"Hey, can you turn it down a notch? Some of us just want to shower in peace and quiet!" - A human student snapped at us.

"I'm sorry, am I stopping you from taking your precious shower? Am I in your way, because I'm pretty sure the shower area is clear." - I shot back, sassy.

"Just turn it down, fag!" - He cursed at me and I had to stop my eyes from shining in rage.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I need to turn it down, indeed." - I said in a meek tone.

All the boys are watching this play out, humans and wolves alike. Lex is looking at me fearfully. Not afraid for me, per se.

I walk quietly towards the boy who's getting ready for a shower.

"I apologize if you're offended by my first amendment right to free speech. If you don't want to hear me, cover your ears. I will not be silenced by anyone, much less you." - I stated calmly, an inch away from him.

"Oh and one more thing..." - I continued before I grabbed his throat, choking the life of him. He tried to fight me off, but he's human and I'm just stronger.

"If you call me a fag again, I will end your life. Don't fuck with me! You have no idea what I'm capable of!" - I threatened, seconds before I let go and he took a giant inhale, gasping for air.

I returned to my locker and Lex stared at me in shock. I just gave him a poignant look. We continued with our routine and took our shower nice and quietly.

Bitch, I will not be silenced by anyone!

I deserve the respect of others the same way I respect everyone else. And I certainly am allowed to speak whatever the fuck I want.

So, don't fuck with me. Because I have a storm brewing inside of me that would wash away any homophobe.

I'm not here for you. I'm here for myself, my family and my pack . And hell has no fury for the person that stands in my way.

AN: You tell them, Ben!

Giddy up cause I'm only getting started.

Love,

Léo.