I was pacing my room this morning while I waited for people to wake up. I wanted to tell them that I was planning to move out, but I was worried about their reaction. Well, worried about Mom’s reaction. I’m sure Dad and Isa would be worried, but understand why I wanted to go. On the other hand, Mom would also know why I wanted to go, but wouldn’t take it nearly as well. Most of the morning was just me mentally preparing to withstand whatever she had to throw at me. Believe me, I had a lot of preparing to do.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and stubbed my toe on the way out of my bedroom. Amazing start. When I got to the kitchen, everyone was grabbing breakfast. Mom was just eating raw fruit while Dad cooked something for him and my sister. I walked in and he glanced at me.

“Someone decide to sleep in?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I laughed. “Um, I’ve got some news for you guys.”

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Isa asked teasingly.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” she said, rolling her eyes. “What’s up?”

Mom said nothing but eyed me while she chewed. It was nerve-wracking for me. I was one sentence away from her blowing up.

“I, um… I’m…” I closed my eyes and let it all out at once. “I’m moving out!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me in the most horrifying way possible for me. They just gave me some blank stares. I could hear every chew from Mom, and I felt like disappearing on the spot.

“When?” asked Dad.

“Um… today…?” I said awkwardly. Dad looked irked.

“Would’ve preferred you to tell us sooner beforehand. We could’ve worked it out and planned to help move things.”

“Sorry,” I apologized, bowing my head down.

“So where are you moving to?” Mom asked, a bit too calmly for me to feel safe.

“Just um… a little new place,” I said, trying to keep it vague. When you’re trying to escape someone, you generally don’t want them knowing where you live.

“Got an address?” she asked, a bit more edge to her voice.

“Um…”

“Maybe we can handle that later, Carol,” stepped in Dad. He clearly knew what was going on.

“So you don’t want me knowing where you live?” she said bitterly.

“Carol, this isn’t the-”

“You don’t want me around, huh? Is that it? I can’t know where my fucking son lives?!”

“You’ll know where I live when I want you to,” I said, surprising myself. I didn’t exactly say it assertively, but it was more than I usually would talk back. Isa and Dad cringed slightly as they prepared for my mom to escalate the situation.

“Oh bullshit,” she hissed. “You just think I’m some batshit crazy bitch even though I’m your mother!”

“Don’t put words in my mouth!” I demanded. “I never said any of that!”

“Oh, because I’m always wrong!” Mom raged, throwing her hands up. “I can’t be right with you, can I?!”

“I don’t want this!”

“No,” Mom jeered. “Because you’d rather live by yourself in the middle of nowhere than live here with your mother who loves you!”

“Do you blame me?!” I asked, exasperated. “You do nothing but yell and complain at me, then pretend it’s alright! Is that love?! Is that what I’m supposed to want day in and day out?!”

I stopped and looked at all of them in the room. My Dad and sister looked at me with a bit of a look of respect. We didn’t often tell her how wrong her treatment of us was, and when we did she usually didn’t take it particularly to heart. Mom looked at me annoyed with a clenched jaw and growled.

“Whatever. Do what you want. I don’t give a shit. Not like you ever gave one about me.”

After saying that, she got up and walked away. When she got to her room, she slammed the door so hard that the house shook a bit. The three of us awkwardly looked at each other. 

“That could’ve been worse,” Isa said, breaking the silence.

“Not by much,” Dad laughed cynically. “Do you need help moving some things though?”

“No thanks,” I insisted. “I can do it all myself.”

“Well, is there anything we can do?”

“Keep Mom away as I do it.”