Liam

“Death feels like a paradox/To die or not—to live or not/Such a sentiment might suffer.” Yuna read out, the final lines of the book as it closed. “Funny how death isn’t a stage of life, it’s the ending. Yet something about it is fascinating.”

“Perhaps the idea that our journey comes to an end and we don’t even know how it looks. The whole ‘everything comes to nothing’ idea is intriguing.” I remarked, throwing a pebble in the pond. The water shook with a rippling effect.

“The vague idea of something drives us crazy. The birth of something out of nothing—how do you handle that? Even science says that something did exist before the universe we know now existed. Perhaps that was the old universe, coming to its end and collapsing on itself; forming a singularity before exploding and forming a new one.”

“A circle, you come back to where you began. You don’t remember your birth and won’t remember your death. Compared to an infinite line, a circle is much better. At least you know it has ended. Whereas, a line never really ends. It ends when you decide it does.”

Yuna glanced at the novel. “I guess we should do this often.”

“You mean taking mindlessly after reading a book?” I chuckled. “I don’t know about that.”

He shrugged, staring at me. “I think we should. In that way, I know what is going through your mind.”

I hummed, looking back at the pond as I threw another pebble. The fishes raced, annoyed by the disturbance in the water. “So, what conclusion have you come upon hearing me speak?”

“That’s a secret.” He smiled.  He picked up another pebble and threw it in the pond. “I’ll tell you sometime later.”

“Come on, I want to know now.” I pulled his arm, pleading as I gave him puppy eyes.

He groaned, trying to pull away. “Not the eyes, Liam. You cannot fool me.”

“Please? You are my best friend.” I joined my hands, giving him the brightest smile.

“No.” He sternly warned.

I pulled away. “You are no fun. Fine, keep it to yourself.” I huffed, crossing my arm as I turned away.

“Liam.” I remained silent. “You there?”

I don’t know, Yuna. I don’t even know that.

“You know what, don’t come to me when you are bawling your eyes out after reading a book.” He gasped, looking offended before trapping me in a bone-crushing hug. My eyes widened, almost questioning if I was dreaming.

Questioning reality is a symptom one experiences when Yuna Aster displays physical affection, even if it is just a hug.

“Aw, now who will lend me their shoulder?” He pulled my cheeks, knowing well that I didn’t like getting them pulled.

“Find someone else.” He pulled away, a small smile on his lips.

“If I could, I would have. Currently, I have you guys.” His gaze flickered to my eyes. “Your green eyes are shining.”

I chuckled, remembering Mr. Vincent’s words. “What’s with everyone talking about my eyes?”

“Maybe it’s because someone had said that looking in someone’s eyes, you can find their real self.”

“Wish I could see that myself.” I stared at the pool. “I want to see myself, Yuna.”

“You are, Liam. You just don’t know yet.”

I bit my lip. “It’s not just that. Time is moving too fast for me. It doesn’t wait for anyone, especially for me.”

“Then don’t care about it. Don’t let time hold you want. Walk at your own pace. In the end, we will be there—waiting for you.” He grabbed my shoulder, giving reassurance as he got up. “I think I’ll see what Grandma Momo and that pig are up to. Leaving them alone is like leaving Satan with Lucifer.”

“I guess they are still in the living room.” He nodded, walking off. “Later.”

“Later.”

Yuna

“Ah, perfect timing. Join us, Yuna.” Grandma Momo smiled, patting the place beside her as I obliged. “We were just talking about Liam and require your insight on it.”

“What is it?” I flickered my gaze from the table to Oliver. She tapped her fingers on the table. “Pig, speak up.”

She flinched, glaring at me as she stopped tapping her fingers. “You really need to call me that, girly boy?”

“Ah, don’t start another fight.” Grandma Momo nudged her. “Tell him what you have to say.”

She bit her lip, switching her gaze between Grandma Momo and me. “We—I mean, I have thought about something regarding Liam.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, just like you always do.”

She ignored the remark. “We should not tell him about that day.”

Was it because of the way she spoke or the words she spoke? Either way, my entire body was fuming.

“What makes you think that he doesn’t know?”

An audible gasp escaped from Oliver, covering her mouth as she slowly processed my words. “What do you mean by that?”

I stared at her fingers. “He is well aware of it. There’s no point in hiding it from him.”

She slammed her hand on the table. “You told him, didn’t you?”

“Oliver—”

“What if I did? What are you going to—” She jumped on the table, grabbing my T-shirt as she pulled me closer. The fire in her eyes was visible.

“Is this some sort of pathetic mind game that you are playing with him?”

“I just think that Liam has every right to know what had happened in his life.” I yanked her hand away and stood up. “In fact, it is you who has lost control over her emotions.”

She got off the table and stood in front of me. “For a sociopath like you, emotions are nothing.”

“Aw, I am so hurt by your words.” Sarcasm was filled in every word.

She clenched her hand white. “Do you know the first words he spoke when he woke up?”

I felt my smile dropping. “No, amuse me.”

“Are you okay?” She went silent, her body shivering a bit as she looked down. “Those are my brother’s first words who had forgotten his family and friends.”

She glared at me; tears filled in her eyes. “Do you know how much it hurts? Seeing your brother clueless and mindless.”

“Just because you were suffering doesn’t mean you take away his right to know about—”

“Then what can I do?!” She shouted and jabbed her finger at my chest. “Tell me.”

“Oliver.” I held her hand, as she slowly tried to hit me. “Stop it.”

“He was always on edge. One inch away from hell.” She cried, her hands dropping down as she hugged me. “What should I do? I don’t want that to happen again.” Her voice cracked, sobbing as she gasped for breath.

“I don’t know.”

“Stay . . . away!”

Blood was splattered on the white floor. Nurses screamed in fear. Metal was dropped everywhere.

“Don’t come near me!”

His hand was bleeding, but he barely cared about it. That’s what fear does to us.

“STAY AWAY!”

It crawls from the back of our minds.

“NO!”

And devours us.

Liam

“Come on. Why can’t I listen to this song?” I whined in frustration, exiting the music app as I went on YouTube. “I bet it must be here.”

I glanced at the rough sheet of paper. I had found this stuck in the middle of my geography textbook and thought of getting a good look at it during my free time.

“What If by SafetySuit.” I typed the song and played the first video.

I felt goosebumps on my skin, keeping my phone to the side.

What if it makes you sad at me?

And what if it makes you laugh now

But you cry as you fall asleep?

This hits home.

And what if it takes your breath

And you can hardly breathe?

And what if it makes the last sound

Be the very best sound?

What if what I want makes you sad at me?

And is it all my fault or can I fix it, please?

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

Cause you know that I'm always all for you

I can see why my past self enjoyed music. It’s addictive to enjoy pain in the sounds that touch our hearts. To relive it over time and grow with it.

And if this be our last conversation

If this be the last time that we speak for awhile

I flinched; a relic of the past in front of my eyes.

Don't lose hope and don't let go

Cause you—

Everything is tuning out of focus. I blinked my eyes, hoping my vision would get better but in vain.

Where am I walking to?

Does my body remember what I forgot? Or am I helpless, too gone to aid?

“Liam.”

Who is it, that calls upon my name?

“LIAM!”

The ground below my foot disappeared. Everything became clear. Just too late to be clear. A harsh tug is felt on my arm as I stand stable, air knocked out of my lungs.

“You should be careful. Watch where you are going.”

“Yeah, thanks—” I look at the person in front of me. “Wha—”

“What are you doing here, Haya?”