The next morning, I felt so much better. I could get up and walk around with only a little bit of vision blur. Already an improvement! I told Robin nothing was wrong. I thought about weighing, but I didn’t want to see the damage from yesterday. So I got ready like usual and headed to the bus, skipping out on breakfast of course.

When we met Robin at the bus stop, she had something in her hand. I wondered if it was meant for me, but I convinced myself it was probably a school thing.

“Morning, guys.” Robin said to my siblings and I.

“Morning!” Bella cheered. She elbowed Jack, who let out a half-asleep groan.

“Here,” Robin said, shoving her paper bag into my hands. “It’s for you.”

Suspicious, I opened the bag just enough to see a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I closed the bag immediately and held it back out to her. 

“Nope, nope, nope.” Robin denied. “That’s your breakfast, because if I had to guess, you haven’t had it yet.”

“No she didn’t,” Bella said, ratting me out. No way she was actually going to force me to eat!

“I won't eat it.” I said firmly. No way I was giving in to this treatment.

“Yes you will,” Robin said. “Because if you don’t, I’m shoving it down your throat myself.”

“If you eat that, you’re fucking dead.”

“I’d eat that if I were you.” Bella said, pointing to Robin cracking her knuckles.

“Don’t just gawk,” my friend said menacingly. “Start eating. Preferably before the bus gets here”

I shuttered and took a nibble out of the sandwich. It tasted amazing; peanut butter and jelly was one of my weaknesses, and she definitely knew it.

“Pig bitch.”

If it was anyone else, I would’ve tossed the sandwich, but Robin’s family wasn’t exactly wealthy. It would’ve been literally throwing her money in the garbage. So I went against Diana and took a few bites.

Eating made me so tired, and put me in a completely awful mood, which is how I carried myself through the rest of the day. And if the breakfast wasn’t bad enough, she forced lunch, dinner, and snacks on me too, totaling 2100 calories! 2100!!! I was going to be overweight by morning!

By the end of the day I was absolutely pissed at Robin. One day of “normal” eating was alright, because everyone messed up every now and then. But multiple days in a row? Oh hell no. It didn’t matter what I thought though, because she forced it on me anyway. She wasn’t going to let up trying to stuff me like a teddy bear anytime soon…

*   *   *   *   *

After about a month, Robin was still forcing her “recovery crusade” onto me. Every day, she forced me to eat, and if I was caught exercising, I was forced to eat more. At the start I didn’t fuss because I thought she’d forget about it, but she never dropped it! My jeans were starting to get tight and my stomach was always bloated; there’s no way I wasn’t gaining weight! I was almost just done with Robin.

One February morning I was getting ready to go to the mall with Bella and my worst nightmare came to life: I was too fat for my jeans. Like, way too fat. How much weight had I gained?!? I had refused to check for the past month because I couldn’t bear to see the damage done, but now? I practically had no choice!

I ran to the washroom, threw my clothes off, and jumped on the scale. I needed to see just how bad I had gotten. The number bounced around before settling a bit above 90 lbs.

“You gained 12lbs in a month?!? You fat-ass pig!! I hope you had fun expanding that waistline!!”

I could barely believe it. 12lbs in a month?! No wonder I was too big for my jeans!! Some of it may have been water weight, but I couldn’t handle it. I was putting an end to Robin’s “help” if it was the last thing I did.

I threw my clothes back on and ran to my room. There was no way I wasn’t still going to the mall with Bella, so I threw on some old jeans from about a year ago along with an oversized sweater. Robin usually came down about this time to make me eat breakfast, but this time I had a plan.

I made sure all the doors and windows were locked, then I turned the radio on full blast so nobody would hear her knocking. As messed up as it was, it worked, because nobody even knew she visited. Now I didn’t have to eat breakfast or lunch, and I could carry out my day.

Later when Bella and I were at the mall, we were searching for clothes because she had outgrown hers. She had a small growth spurt, but it still put her at about five feet tall. She had lucked out and found some good deals, so we were just talking like sisters now.

“So… how’ve things been for you?” Bella asked awkwardly.

“I’m alright,” I sighed. “Robin and I have been fighting a bit more, but that’s what you sign up for with friends.”

“Yeah, but… it’s all the time now. Normally your little fighting periods used to calm down after a while.”

“It’s ‘cus she’s always on my back about eating and gaining weight.” I mumbled.

“Well no offense, but you do look better than you did a month ago.”

“Is it that obvious I’ve put on weight?” I asked nervously. I knew for a fact that I could tell, but I wasn’t sure if other people could see it too.

“Well uh, yeah. But in a good way!” she said hesitantly. “Like, you were really underweight and kind of scared a few people. I think on the track you’re going, you’ll look healthy soon.”

“I’d rather not,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’ve really let myself go… Should be focused on losing those pounds, not getting more.”

Bella’s eyes went wide and I realized what I had said too late.

“God Diane, no! You don’t need to lose anything else!”

I cast my glance to the floor. I hated it when stuff like that slipped out. People always flipped their lid, and I never had a way out.

“Diane, I don’t know what happened to flip a switch in your brain, but you have to snap out of it,” she sighed. “The whole starving yourself and losing weight obsession is going to kill you. If I had to give my honest diagnosis, I’d say you’re anorexic, maybe even bulimic. I’ve caught you purging.”

“What?! No, I was sick! There’s no way I have either of those!” I denied, even though I knew very well I could. “Plus those people weigh wayyy less than me!”

“That’s not true,” Bella argued, arms folded. “They come in all shapes and sizes. And don’t lie to me, you were purging! It’s always after a big meal!”

Damn, I hated how smart she was. But I managed to brush the subject off and we got to finish the shopping. I didn’t want to talk about it, and she didn’t want to argue about it, so it’s a win-win.

Everything was going my way until supper came. Usually I’d be out of the house or sleeping to avoid it, and I was napping today because I knew Dad wouldn’t want to wake me up and cause arguments. Dad knew he couldn’t win those against me. He wasn’t the problem though; it was Robin.

In the middle of my nap, my door flung open and I heard a familiar growling. I turned over to see a very unhappy Robin.

“Boo,” she said with a sinister smile. She clearly wasn’t happy about being ignored today.

“I guess the boogeyman doesn’t hide under my bed anymore.” I grumbled.

“If you asked me, it’s laying in bed right now.” She sat down at the foot of my bed. “So, how was the mall with Bella?”

“It was ok. She got some clothes and we walked and talked for a while.”

“Oh yeah? Did you eat anything?” And finally the curtains are pulled back and she reveals why she really comes to bug me!

“Of course I did,” I snapped. “That’s what you want, right?” Of course I didn’t. But she didn’t need to know that.

“Oh?” she asked, raising a brow. “Because none of your family has seen you eat anything today.”

“Why does everything have to be about me eating now?!?” I angrily fussed. “Can’t we just go back to how things used to be?!?” 

“No, it can’t!” Robin shouted back. “Because if it does, I’m going to wake up one day without a friend to see!!!”

“Bullshit and you know it. You all just want to spend your time shoving food down my throat and getting me fat!”

“Nuh uh, we’re not doing this again! Did you eat or not?!”

“No. Happy now?!” I spat.

“Fuck no I’m not, Diane!!! No matter what any of us say, we can’t get it through that thick skull of yours that you are dying and the cure is just EATING!!! Like a normal human being!!!”

“I do eat!” I roared. I hated when people said I didn’t eat, because I do. Dump trucks of food actually!

“Well it’s not enough!” she roared back. “Because you wouldn’t be on your deathbed if you did it right like I said to do from the beginning! You talked up this ‘New Diane’ so much, but look, she can’t even walk down a set of stairs! Not to mention that it’s probably overclocking your heart!”

“That’s it! Get out of my room!! Get out of my life!!!” I howled, venting all my anger out in the declaration. Robin was taken aback by my outburst; I had yelled at her before, but never like that.

“You know what? Fine,” she said coldly, putting her hands up. “When you land your ass in the hospital soon with a tube up your nose, give me a call. I wanna ask the new Diane if she’s finally happy.”

She harshly turned her back and marched out of my room, not even bothering to close the door behind her. I felt happy that she wouldn’t interrupt my weight loss, and that I could do what I wanted again. But then again, I felt more anger bubble up inside me from her parting words.