A couple weeks later, I was looking at myself in the washroom mirror before taking a late night shower after school. I took a good look at the Diane staring back at me, thinking about the insults that Lucille and her friends were now throwing my way daily. I couldn’t take it anymore; I just wanted it all to stop. I wasn’t ever a confident person to begin with, and my weight and body were one of my big insecurities. Typically, I was led to believe by my family that I was too skinny, but I didn’t see that anymore.

I ran my hand over my stomach, hips, legs, and any curve I could, pinching any fat I could get a hold of. Even if there wasn’t much, it was enough to make Lucille howling “fatty” echo through my head. Maybe I was gaining weight… or maybe worse, everyone had just been joking all those times they called me skinny. Robin and I ate out a lot, and had ice cream every Saturday too. Was my lightning metabolism finally slowing down and putting fat on me? It had to happen eventually, but maybe I’ve just been in denial about it.

Struggling to find some direction on what to do, I glanced to the corner of the bathroom and spied the scale. Almost out of instinct, my body moved and placed itself on the scale, and its number bounced around a bit before settling on 108 lbs. That was a pretty low number; how could Lucille and her friends ever call me fat at that! Or… could they? Maybe it was my body I should focus on and not the weight? Or maybe the number’s still too high?

After arguing with myself for minutes, I decided on something. Lay off the junk food and unhealthy stuff from now on. I was going to go healthy and make sure Lucille and her friends could never call me fat ever again. After all, everyone these days is looking to get healthier, right? It’s not like I’m a special case here.

*   *   *   *   *

The next day I launched myself out of bed on time with a new spring of energy. Today was the start of a new Diane; a better Diane; a healthy Diane! I made myself a bowl of fruit for breakfast, which wasn’t too out of the ordinary by itself. What surprised Robin though, was the salad I packed for lunch instead of the normal sandwich. The meal choice shocked her.

“Wow,” she whistled. “A salad. Who’s this new Diane sitting next to me?”

“One who’s more committed to her health,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Oooooo,” giggled Robin. “Does someone have a boy they’re trying to impress? Or you know, maybe a girl. I won’t judge or anything if you’ve been keeping secrets-”

“Pffft!” I nearly choked on a piece of olive. “Yep, right on the dot Robin. I’ve been holding out on you this entire time.”

“Ah, I knew it!” Robin dramatically said, turning her head flamboyantly. “You know you can tell me anything!”

“The truth is that I love you, best friend Robin.”

The two of us looked each other in the eyes and started laughing our asses off. That was the best part about her. We could just do stuff like that without any setup or preparation. Now that’s what friendship looks like.

“But seriously, what’s the occasion?” she asked.

“I just decided it was time to eat healthier.” I shrugged. “You know, maintain my body.”

“That’s fair, I guess,” she nodded. “My body’s already well maintained, so I don’t have to do any of that crap.”

“Mhm, well maintained on movie marathons and caramel corn?”

“Oi, and beans!” she said with a glare. “Plus, you’re as much of a couch potato as me!”

“If I’m a potato, you’re the whole field.” I grinned. “Plus, I’m going to start exercising soon, so I’ll be couch potato Diane no more!” Robin laughed at me.

“She’ll be replaced with what? Bodybuilder Diane?” I pictured the image in my head of me with godly defined muscles before snapping back to reality. Robin laughed again, clearly seeing that I had thought about it. “I bet this all drops in a week.”

“Nuh uh, I’m committing this time!” I said confidently.

“Things like this always fall though, you know.”

“This is the new Diane, remember?”

“Fine, let’s put some money on that,” she challenged. “Five bucks says not a week.”

“You’re on!” I said, gladly accepting the challenge.

One small week later, Robin’s five dollars were in my pocket. She was astonished that I had actually pulled through for a week, and I didn’t show signs of stopping or going back. I was feeling so much happier and more energetic, but Lucille’s comments still wouldn’t stop. She would stab and slash my self esteem to pieces multiple times a day now, making me her routine punching bag. I was hurting so much inside, but I used that pain to propel me forward. It was just more fuel in the tank to power my exercising and eating habits. If she won’t stop, then maybe I should try harder. Yeah, if I just work a bit more off, maybe the nightmare would finally end. Just another few pounds off and all my problems would be gone!

*   *   *   *   *

One Saturday Robin and I were hanging out, like usual, and she wanted us to go and get ice cream, also like usual. I had passed up the last couple weeks because I had cut junk food completely out of my new healthy diet, eating only whole foods, fruits, and vegetables. Robin had stayed pretty silent on the matter, probably not wanting to upset me, but that day it got to her for some reason.

“Oh come on Diane, it’s one ice cream!” she urged. “It’s not going to make your body fall apart or anything!”

“I don’t care,” I said, standing my ground. “It’s not healthy, so it’s not going in.”

“Well yeah it’s not healthy! It’s ice cream, that’s the point! Diets are about moderation Diane, and you can afford to enjoy a single ice cream once a week with your best friend!”

“You can just get one, Robin. I don’t really want it.” I wasn’t really about to eat ice cream then be craving it all week.

“Listen to yourself!” Robin said, not quite believing the sight in front of her. “The Diane I know would say that she doesn’t want ice cream!”

“Well the new Diane doesn’t want it,” I huffed.

“Ugh, what’s going on? The salad is different from restricting your food selection entirely. Are you afraid of something?!”

“What’s there to be afraid of?”

“I don’t know! Gaining weight or something!” she said, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“Pft, no. Like gaining weight is something I need on my mind.”

“What?!” Robin said, turning around and looking stunned. “So you ARE afraid of gaining any weight!”

“I said I’m not-”

“Don’t lie to me, Diane! I know when you’re trying to hide something. Why’re you trying to avoid gaining weight? You have been, and still are, stick thin since I can remember!”

“Well it won’t last forever!” I snapped back, surprising her. “Is it so wrong to try and prepare for when my metabolism makes me fatter?!”

I could practically see Robin’s eyes get wider and her pupils shrink. She clenched her fists and looked upset that I even thought about those things I told her.

“Fatter? Fatter? Diane, what are you talking about?! You’re not getting fatter! If anything, I’ve noticed you’ve been going farther underweight. If anything, you should work on getting out of being too low-”

“Robin, I’m not too low!” I shouted. “So just grab your ice cream and let’s move it!”

She clenched her teeth and shook her fists before going away to grab her ice cream. I stared at my hands, surprised that Robin had somehow crossed my anger threshold, which was quite high. I hate to admit it, but I had scared myself too. When we walked back home, I cut our hangout time short. We were tense after the ice cream, and I wasn’t in the mood to argue or go off on my best friend again that day.

Later that night, I was waiting for my shower again when I thought about Robin’s comment about my weight. So out of innocent curiosity, I hopped on the scale and expected it to read 108 still, but I was shocked out of this world. I was actually a couple pounds less! How did that happen? The thing was that unlike Robin, I wasn’t worried. I liked seeing that number drop actually. I giggled, getting a bit of a high off of just seeing some printed numbers under my feet.

I wonder if I could make the number go even lower? I pondered if I could hit exactly 100 on the dot. If I did that, Lucille surely wouldn’t be able to call me fat anymore! So in the spur of the moment, I decided that my official goal would be to reach 100lbs. I figured that if I kept up my healthy eating and exercise, I could get there in about a month and a half! 

As I decided on my goal and planned it out, I could hear a little voice in the back of my head cheering me on. The new Diane was looking up.