Chapter 8

It's been two months since Henry and I have been hanging out. I can't say that much happened, we did talk on occasion, but most of the time he was too nervous and I didn't want to break my submission. After all, a quiet Omega is a good Omega. 

But people started to notice. Especially when he held my hand in the halls. They were big and sweaty, but soft. I didn't hate it, and it kept the other Alphas from picking on me. 

At first, I was worried. This all could just be some really big prank. I didn't want to go through that. I mean I never did, but I really didn't want to force myself to stay strong after I had lost my sister. 

I missed Senno. 

My sisters didn't really have anything to say after it happened. We cried together for a few days, but then it was business as usual. The only one who seemed affected other than me was Lana. She stopped talking. 

Mother didn't care and Mama didn't notice. Mama didn't notice much of anything lately. All she did was lock herself in her room and stare at the wall. I had to bathe her, grabbing wet cloths and a bowl of water. I fed her. Dressed her. I didn't want Mother to be angry if she smelled or if it got into their sheets. Sheets that Mother barely slept in. It was okay though, less for me to worry about.

I took care of them all. Even when I was tired. Even when I was sad. And I didn't let my grades drop either. I didn't give Mother a reason to be angry. The only thing I couldn't control were the Mating meetings. Those never went well.

It didn't matter that I had Henry. If his family didn't make the engagement official, I could still be pawned off. He knew it as well as I did, but it wasn't one of the things we talked about. That was fine though. 

At least I thought it was, until he approached me about it one day. We met up at our usual spot after I told the girls to head home without me. Mother wouldn't be home until later so I had a bit of time before dinner had to get started. I usually spent that time with Henry. 

"I'm going to ask my parents if I can mate you," Henry blurted out after a few moments of silence. I glanced up at him with wide eyes, in shock. 

"Really?" I managed to whisper when the words had settled. 

Henry smiled and nodded. 

"But why?" 

He frowned. "You ask that a lot. I like you. I want us to bond."

He didn't ask how I felt about it. Alphas never do. But with me? He probably thought he didn't need to. With my reputation in school, it was a miracle an Alpha was even interested enough. 

That's not fair. He never said that. I shouldn't make assumptions.

Even if I know it's true.

"Okay," I murmured. 

There were worse Alphas than Henry. Henry was nice to me. He didn't hit me, didn't force dominance like all the Alphas in our school liked to do. He was quiet and sometimes he even asked for my opinion. He was nothing like Mother. 

So what if I didn't have a crush on him? I doubt I'd ever have a crush on an Alpha. I should be grateful for this.

I was grateful because maybe I can finally stop going to these Mating meetings to be told over and over again that I'm worthless. I wanted to be free of it all. If Henry could help me get there, I would do it. I would be his mate. 

"Okay," I said again, finally looking at him and offering a smile. He blinked at me, like he saw a ghost, then he smiled wider.

When I set the table and dished out the food, I broached the topic with Mother. 

"Mother?" I asked, keeping my voice soft and head lowered. 

The sound of forks scraping along the plates echoed in the room, following my request for attention. For Mother's attention. I waited in silence, my sister's curiously watching from above their own plates. 

"What is it, pup?" Mother finally acknowledged. 

Taking a deep breath, I tried to calm my battering heart. Sweat gathered along my brow and my mouth felt dry, but I forced myself to ask anyway.

"There's an Alpha...his name is Henry. He said he wanted to bond with me. C-can we...have a Mating meeting with his parents?" I hated how my voice trembled, losing confidence with each word spoken. 

I tensed, waiting for the inevitable "no" that was sure to follow. Mother wouldn't like that it didn't come from her. She didn't believe Omegas should have a choice in anything. It gave them too much power. 

Why were Alphas always so concerned with how much power an Omega had? We had none. No Omega has ever rebelled the way they fear they would. So why is it always a looming threat? Why did they even care?

I waited in tense silence, not even eating in fear that all of it would come rushing up and I'd not only get told no, but a beating and more to clean. Instead, I refrained.

"The Kibas?" Mother questioned.

My stomach quivered as I dared to peek up from my plate.

She didn't look angry, just pensive.

"Yes, Alpha," I answered quietly. 

"I got a call from them today. You have a meeting tomorrow."

A breath of relief left my lips. I shouldn't have even interfered. Of course the Alphas would handle it. Henry would handle it. 

I nodded and allowed myself a bite of food, pausing only when I saw her eyes on me. There was a warning in them. 

Don't mess this up.

I gulped, averting my gaze, and eating my food silently. When dinner was finished and the girls were upstairs in their room after helping me clean up, I went upstairs to check on Mama. Mother had left for the night so I was able to relax a little. 

Mama hadn't touched her food. 

Settling next to her on the bed, I grabbed the plate and gathered a bit of the food on the spoon before feeding it to her. When the spoon touched her lips, she opened. She chewed and she swallowed, but she never moved more than that. 

I talked to her, even if she never responded. 

"I'm gonna have an Alpha, Mama. He's nice. His name is Henry. He doesn't make fun of me like the other Alphas. Doesn't even force submission. He's nothing like Mother," I told her, slowly feeding her the rest of the food.

I like to believe I saw a little sparkle in her eyes, but it most likely was just my imagination. 

"I think I'm gonna be happy, Mama."

After she finished her food, I wiped her down with a soapy wet cloth then helped her into her nightclothes. 

The bulge of her stomach looked strange. There were a few bruises, but it mostly looked like the roundness of her stomach didn't belong. Especially when she was so skinny everywhere else. She looked like a skeleton. Or a ghost. 

Putting her to bed, I kissed her forehead like she used to do to me when I was little. I gave her stomach a kiss too, so the little pups inside could know what love felt like. Then I turned out the lights and closed the door. 

Jenny was waiting for me in the hall, glancing around to peek into the room. None of my sisters ever checked in on Mama or even bothered to ask how she was doing. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn't blame them. Why should they worry when I was handling it?

"Are you really gonna mate an Alpha?" She asked me suddenly. 

I nodded. 

"Does that mean I'm going to have to too?" 

"We all will."

"I don't want one!"

I sighed, before fixing my gaze on her sharply. The stubborn twist of her lips and anger burning in those bright blue eyes that were so similar to Mama's. So different from mine. Mine too similar to the pale green of Mother's. Too close to the ugliness we all tried so desperately to run from. Maybe that's why I was never as close to my sisters. Maybe they were afraid. 

I would be.

"You don't have a choice, Jenny. Once I'm mated, Mother is going to find you a mate. Then Lana, then Marilyn. That's how it goes."

Jenny's eyes watered as she glared. I knew that she wasn't angry at me. She was angry at the life we had no choice in. She was angry because she saw so many of her friends have a better life than us. We were the lucky ones though. A lot of Omegas weren't even allowed to go to school.

One day she'll realize that we should be grateful for what we have. 

I pulled her into my arms and held her close as she sobbed. The emotions weren't unfamiliar to me and I had worked hard so she didn't feel it as much as I had. Maybe it wasn't helpful to let her and the others live in denial. Maybe I was being a bad brother by not preparing her for what her life was going to be like. They didn't have Mama anymore to help them. Train them. I was the first pup born. I got most of the attention. So it was my job to step in and help them in the same way. But I didn't want them to know. I didn't want them to be sad with me. 

Her smaller frame dwarfed by my taller leaner one. I tried not to be jealous of how small she was. How dainty. How perfect she was as an Omega. Mother wouldn't have a hard time finding her an Alpha. She made a lot of friends in school almost immediately despite being homeschooled for most of her life. Same with the others. 

But jealousy was pointless because at the end of the day we were the same. 

We were Omegas.